Claiming Victory
by mpg
Summary: Edward left love behind for a career racing V8 supercars. He thought it was the right choice. But after it all fell apart, he learned the truth. With the support of his family, can he claim it all? Sequel to Chasing Victory  EPOV/BxE/OOC/Lemons/Language
1. Life, Love and Realty

**Chapter 1: Life, Love and Reality**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

* * *

Life was easy at the age of nine. Girls and boys could be just friends, with no ulterior motives and no hormones getting in the way. That was the way it used to be between my best friend, Bella Swan, and I. It was simple. Whether we were sitting at her house on a Sunday afternoon playing monopoly with her brother, Emmett, or swimming at the local pool - it was effortless.

Life was something measured in moments of fun between the drudgery of school lessons. A career was something that parents had; it wasn't something that required any further thought than creating an endless list of "when I grow ups". Marriage, kids, the future; they were all foreign concepts not needing consideration on a day-to-day basis.

Somehow, at some point after that, things began to change. There was no discernible age when things became different - they just did. Suddenly, girls were more than merely someone else to talk to or another person in the playground to befriend. They were interesting in their own unique way. They became mystifying and bizarre. Suddenly, boys and girls couldn't be 'just friends'. That's how it was with Bella and I.

When we entered high school, I began to notice things about her that I had never seen before - and it wasn't just the obvious physical changes. I started to notice how her lips would caress the end of a pencil as she studied. How her fingers would twine loosely in her hair when she was deep in thought. I began to wish I could know what it was like to be that pencil, or have her fingers caressing my hair so softly. When that changed - life changed.

In no time at all, things became complicated. It was no longer about board games and summer fun, but about study, and university, and careers and...well...life. The future was no longer a passive thing to be worried about at a later date. It was real and it was happening. We each needed to make a plan for the future. In order to steer our lives in the right direction, we had to make choices.

At seventeen, I chose wrong.

At seventeen, I left life, love, and family behind me to race for Cullen Racing. At the time, I would have said it was the smart choice - the right choice even. But at twenty-one, I knew better. Because at twenty-one life threw me a curveball in the form of a flailing career and a reunion with my destiny - my Bella. Once I had her back in my arms, I realised what a mistake I had made.

I had chosen wrong and the decision had wide and painful aftershocks. I still couldn't really regret it, because only by suffering the loss of my Bella, did I realise how muchshe meant to me. Only by gaining back her trust did I know that I would never again do anything to lose it.

Only by reaching the point where I had absolutely nothing else to lose did I reach the point where I had everything to gain. I lost my career, but gained the opportunity to learn a trade. I lost respect for my father, but gained the respect of my daughter.

Whenever I had trouble sleeping or woke from a nightmare, I would pad down the hall to Phoebe's room and find solace in the knowledge that she was there and safe. As I stood guard in the doorway to her room, I watched as her chest rose and fell softly in time with her light snores as she slept. As it had many times before, my mind turned to her brother, Emmanuel, the child I would never know but who would always hold a place in my heart. I silently shed a tear for the loss that our small family had endured and took comfort in the thought that maybe he was somewhere watching over us. He would guard his baby-sister from trouble and look after her from afar.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

I shrugged. "About life. About where we were and where we are now."

She wrapped her arms tightly around my waist and I pressed my lips to the top of her head. "We've got each other, that's half the battle won before we even start."

I sighed. "I know, but what are we going to do? My wages won't cover the payments on this place."

"We'll manage," Bella said into my chest. It was what she said every time I fretted.

It wasn't the first time I had worried about the exact same thing. I felt like a failure. I wasn't going to be able to provide for my family the way that I should have - the way I wanted to. I was due to return to Cullen Racing in a matter of days**, **albeit as an apprentice mechanic rather than a driver, and each day I felt closer to my doom. I knew it was not going to be an easy road to tread -from high-flying driver to pit-dwelling grease-monkey.

I knew I could expect no respect from my team-mates, except Alice. I knew Alice would be on my side. Her position as strategist would see her residing in the pits alongside me on race days. Those were the days I dreaded most of all. I knew there would be an ache in my chest as I watched James, the psycho, driving the car that should have been mine. _That still could be mine_, I reminded myself. Officially, I was out of the driver's position for good, but Carlisle had been sure to let me know unofficially that I might have the opportunity to race again. I just had to let the controversy and stress of the last few months blow over. I needed to be someone the family-friendly sponsors would support.

After my sacking from Cullen Racing, I had fielded a number of calls to race for other teams, but none of them were right for me. The first of those had come from Volturi Racing. I had refused Vincent Aro's offer carte blanche,and I was glad I had when I learned of his involvement in setting up the magazine article that had scandalised my world. Some of the other offers were harder to turn down, but at the end of the day moving to another team meant moving to another state. I couldn't choose my career over Bella and Phoebe - I wouldn't.

"Are you sure you want to do this interview tomorrow?" I asked her again. She had been the one to negotiate the terms of the contract with _Women's Idea_ for an exclusive tell-all interview, but I wanted to give her the opportunity to back out if she was having second thoughts.

"I'm sure," she said, smiling warmly at me.

She was my rock. In a little under two months, our relationship had turned from nothing to everything. Four years of heartache and pain had all but disappeared in that short space of time. All because I finally stopped running _from_ her and started running _to_ her.

"You never know what they might ask," I warned. "It might be difficult."

She swallowed hard but nodded. "I know. No one said our life was going to be easy, but it's ours. I want to tell our side. If we don't, those little..." she huffed and cut herself off. "Lauren and Jess just get away with it all. People might believe the lies they've told."

"They'll get their comeuppance eventually," I murmured, not really wanting to talk about two of the bitches who had been heavily involved in my downfall. I knew karma was coming back to bite their asses anyway.

Dad's little mistress, Jess, would definitely regret her decision to sell her twisted version of events to _Gossip Weekly**,**_ because the bank had fired Dad after the article had come out. Apparently, it was evidence of impropriety with his subordinate. Since then, he and his little whore had been living on her meagre income. Dad couldn't find employment. No other banks were willing to hire someone passed his prime, especially one with a scandal attached to his name.

Mum had completely drained the joint savings account she'd held with the cheating bastard before she left the country. The last we'd heard she was on a beach somewhere in the South Pacific, sunning herself and spending up big. A Christmas gift had arrived for Phoebe from her just a few days earlier.

Lauren's husband, Mike, had been more than a little upset when he'd listened to a recording of his wife agreeing to a tryst with a former V8 supercar driver. It wasn't quite a perfect recording though; Bella kept sniggering in the background as she recorded Lauren's pleas and requests. I was reluctant to agree to Bella's idea, but the more I thought about it, I realise Lauren had hurt Bella so much. She had given her a hard time about being a single mother and about my stupid, idiotic fucking ways after I'd abandoned her.

Vincent Aro, manager of Volturi Racing, ended the season with no drivers after putting all his eggs in one basket. Because of the steps he'd taken to try to secure me, his driver had jumped ship and joined Cullen Racing - taking the spot left vacant by my sacking. I had heard from Alice that he was working extra hard during the silly-season to secure a driver - any driver - before the next race season began.

There was just one other person who I needed to take vengeance on - Vicki, Victoria, Miss V... take your pick which alias to use. I wanted - no...needed - to get revenge on her for setting me up to fall the way she had. Bella insisted the best revenge I could have was to get back into the driver's seat as quickly and scandal-free as possible. I knew I would get my chance eventually.  
I sighed and stopped focusing on that. I needed to keep my head clear of negative thoughts. I'd resumed seeing Dr Laurent in person and he was helping me to redirect my thoughts in stages.

Instead of focusing on revenge, I thought about the time I had spent with Bella as we prepared her move to Sydney.

After spending a little over a week packing up her house, we had taken a few days to get to know each other again, including taking one last trip to say good-bye to Emmanuel. It was a heartbreaking, soul-destroying, but at the same time fucking uplifting, weekend. I was sure it had made us even stronger than we'd ever been. I found myself grinning as I thought about it. Who needed couples' therapy when we could heal ourselves?

* * *

"Phoebe will be fine," I said reassuringly as Bella stared out the Monaro window at her parent's house. "Think of it as an opportunity for them to spend some time together before we take her away."

"I know she'll be fine." Bella sighed. "I just can't believe I'm moving away from here. It's just an adjustment. I thought I'd have more time to make it, that's all."

My chest tightened. I knew she trusted me. I knew she loved me. But in that moment, I wondered if it was enough. Was I being selfish asking her to move in with me?

"Do you regret it?" I whispered. It hurt to ask, and I knew it would hurt for her to hear it. But it was exactly what our weekend away was supposed to be about; we had agreed that we would ask anything that wason our mind. We would tell each other _exactly_ what we felt. I had braced myself for a weekend of agony - bittersweet agony that only Bella could deliver.  
She shook her head and her hand came to rest on my thigh. "No, I was going anyway, remember. I'm happy about where I'm going... where _we_ are going. It's just that I feel sad about having to leave all this behind too."

I picked up her hand and placed it against my lips,kissing it softly. I didn't have words to comfort her, because I knew they were going to be trite and meaningless. Especially when compared with what we were about to do. We were going to visit Emmanuel together for the first time. Then we were heading to the Sunshine Coast for a weekend alone.

I was relieved when Bella's Mum, Renee, had agreed to watch Phoebe. I was even more relieved when Bella agreed that I could wait in the car while she dropped her off. The last time I had been there was the disastrous reunion which had resulted in her brother, Emmett, and Dad, Charlie, cornering me against the side of their house and trying to run me out of town, wild west style.

Considering it had almost worked, I understood her ready approval of my request.

I pulled my car into the cemetery and cut off the engine. Neither of us desired to be the first from the car. Both of us were in absolute agony, but I knew Bella's pain was greater than mine. She had suffered through the heartbreak, and I had learned of it second hand so many years later.

Eventually, Bella turned to me and nodded once.

I climbed from the car and opened her door, offering her my hand to help her from the car.

The sun beamed brightly in the sky as we weaved our way through the plots to find our way to the little angel we sought. My feet were on autopilot, remembering the way from my last visit a few weeks prior. As it had then, the first thing that captured my eye was the cold white marble cherub. He sat with his head buried in his hands while his white wings extended out from his shoulders. My eyes fell to the horses on the tombstone, the symbol of Castor and Pollux. Of Gemini. Of the Twins. I could almost feel the horses tattooed onto my back come alive as if granted some magical power from proximity to their inspiration. I didn't need to read the inscription, I knew what it said by heart after spending a day lying beside the stone.

_- - { ~.~ } - -_

_Emmanuel Pollux Masen Swan_

_11th June 2005 - 14th June 2005_

_An angel opened the book of life and wrote down my baby's birth_

_Then she whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth"_

_- - { ~.~ } - -_

I sensed rather than felt Bella by my side. This visit would not be like my last. Then I had felt nothing but desolation and destruction, tearing at me from inside. This time, like then, I felt pain. Twisted with the pain, easing some of the sting, were hope and love.

Bella held my hand so tightly her knuckles were white. She took a deep breath and swallowed around the lump in her throat. I could see her lips moving, she was talking silently to our son. I closed my eyes as my tears began to flow unchecked.

We stood hand in hand for at least an hour before the wind shifted and it grew cold. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, but neither of us were willing to move. We would know when the time was right to say goodbye.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," I whispered. Even I wasn't sure whether the words were intended for Bella or Emmanuel.

Bella nodded, then she stepped forward out of my grasp and dropped to her knees in front of the cherub. She reached her hand out and placed something on the grave. I hadn't even realised she had bought anything with her. She stood and walked backwards to me. I couldn't see past her to see what she had left, but I wasn't sure I wanted to invade her privacy that way either. She turned when she reached me grabbing my hand and pulling me from the graveside wordlessly.

I followed her quickly, allowing her to lead me away. I resisted glancing backwards for as long as I could, but finally I couldn't help myself. I flicked my head around and saw a small toy car resting in front of the little angel. I almost choked when I realised it was a Cullen Racing promotional item from last year - a diecast model of my car.

"I wanted to leave something of each of us with him, so that he knew we weren't abandoning him," Bella said softly when I turned back towards her.

I was embarrassed that she'd caught me looking. I wondered what she had left of herself, and of Phoebe, but I didn't want to ask. I had already intruded on what I was sure was meant to be a private good-bye.

We walked silently back to the car, mentally preparing for the weekend ahead. A weekend where no question was off-limits and where we would confront our past - our demons - with no one else around to interrupt. I knew the weekend would be hard. I even tried preparing myself, thinking that afterward Bella might choose not to move with me, that she might decide I was just too fucked up. But I owed it to her to get everything out on the table. After the tabloid attack, I didn't want anything between us left unsaid. I didn't want to give anything in my past the chance to come back and bite my ass.

The drive to Caloundra passed without a word between us. We were both lost in our own thoughts, and neither of us were willing to break the silence in the car. I wondered whether Bella was mentally tabulating a list of questions for me or ifher mind was still back beside Emmanuel's grave.

Once we arrived at the motel, I left Bella to check us in while I unloaded the bags from the boot of the car. I looked over the exterior of the motel with slight disgust. There was nothing wrong with it per say, it was just that it was a standard cut-price motel. I knew I had become a snob, but I had become acclimatised to the finer things in life with Cullen Racing.

When the team was away from home, I had stayed in nothing less than five-star hotels. Being on a lower wage meant that was going to have to change. I nearly cried when I realised it would probably mean I would have to sell a few of my precious cars. I had a substantial collection in my garage at home, but, between rego and insurance, they cost a pretty penny - and a few ugly ones - each year. I couldn't even begin to consider which ones to get rid of. I was glad when Bella appeared with the room key as it meant I could put the decision off for a while longer.

I followed Bella into our room and dropped the bags on the floor. As I glanced quickly around the room, I realised I was better off than I ever had been at any five-star hotel because this room had something they never did - Bella.

I snaked my hand out and grabbed her wrist, pulling on it lightly to pull her into me. I picked her up so that she was completely encased in my arms and buried my nose into her hair at the nape of her neck. In that moment, I needed to feel close to her. I needed to be close to her. I carried her across to the bed and laid her down on top of the blankets.

She curled herself into me, and I rested my chin on the top of her head.

I closed my eyes and just relished being close to her. After ten minutes or so, I began to run my hand up and down the length of her back. I had meant it as a purely comforting gesture, but Bella hummed into my chest in response to my touch, the sound travelling all the way to my dick and making it stand up to attention.

Bella shifted slightly, and I tipped my head down. We seemed to gravitate toward each other's lips without conscious thought. As her tongue swept across my lips, I groaned and shifted us both so that I was lying on top of her.

I still hadn't opened my eyes and part of me was concerned that perhaps I had fallen asleep and was dry-humping the air, thinking I was with Bella. I chuckled softly at the thought.

"What's so funny?" Bella asked quietly, breaking the contact I had with her sweet, sweet mouth.

I shook my head, but then remembered the rules of the weekend. No unanswered questions, no withheld information. "I was worried this might all be a dream. That I might wake to find I had been assaulting you while we slept."

She smirked a little at me. "I wouldn't complain if you decided to."

I dropped my forehead to hers. "I'll remember that for tonight."

I captured her lips again, kissing her softly while my hand ran trailed lightly through her hair. I needed her. I still felt an urge to be closer to her. I wanted to crawl inside her and take up residence. I knew what we were starting wasn't necessarily the intention for the weekend, but I didn't care. In that moment, I didn't need questions or answers; I needed _her_.

I started pulling at her shirt subconsciously. I hardly realised what I was doing until we both sat up and broke off our contact to allow its removal. Mine followed nanoseconds later. I worked quickly on her jeans and panties while she tugged mercilessly on mine. Soon, barely minutes after we had started kissing, I was wrapped around a naked goddess. Once I had her undressed, I slowed down. I didn't want to fuck her. I wanted to make love to her. Slow and sweet. It was the one thing that we alone shared. I could honestly say I had never made love to another woman - I knew it was semantics, but in my heart I knew the difference.

I found the tip of her breasts and claimed them with my mouth. She arched her back and gave a cry of unadulterated passion. I could see she needed me as much as I needed her. I dipped one hand down between her legs, my fingers brushing across her arousal. She was so ready for me.

I pushed myself into her slowly, both of us giving a hiss of pleasure at the feeling. I made unhurried movements inside her as my mouth explored her neck, chin and breasts.

She panted my name quietly, spurring me on.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered as a tear pricked my eye.

Bella looked up lovingly from below me, her face beaming as she gently wiped the tear away.

I dropped my forehead to her shoulder as my thrusts became harder and deeper.

Her lips blew soft breath across my ear as she whispered her devotion to me.

I raised myself up onto my elbows and took a moment to revel in her subtle beauty. I wanted to drink in every feature, almost as if this were going to be my last opportunity to see her like this.

I pushed my hips forward harder, getting deeper and more aggressive with each thrust as her hips bucked harder against me.

Her eyes closed as her back arched. Her mouth formed a delicious 'O' as the muscles of her thighs began to tighten in anticipation of things to come.

I felt myself coming undone too and I knew it wouldn't take much for me fall.

Suddenly Bella came around me, her walls clenching and releasing around my length. It was my undoing. I gave one last grunt as I spilled warmly into her. Then I dropped onto the bed, and held her tightly in my arms.

Neither of us moved for the longest time. Moving would be taking that first step towards the difficult conversations we anticipated sharing this weekend.

Eventually, she sighed and shifted, indicating a desire to get up. She quickly rose and started the shower. As I watched, she climbed under the stream, sending rivers of water flowing over her breasts and down her waist. Water cascaded along her beautiful body and I ended up joining her quickly. I gently caressed her body and lavished her mouth with soft kisses.

An anxiety built in the pit of my stomach, wanting to get the hard part of our isolation out of the way. I knew there was never going to be a 'right time', so I just took a deep breath and launched into the first question. One that had been burning at the back of my mind since the race meeting that had started my downward spiral. I had seen her in the arms of Jake - I knew now that he was gay, but it still gave me pause.

"How many have there been?" I asked as I kissed along her collarbone.

"What?" she asked the ceiling, her voice little more than a soft pant.

"How many... men?" I asked almost silently.

"You're asking me this now?" she asked, disbelief evident in her tone.

I nodded against her skin. "It's what this weekend was supposed to be about, right?"

"Ugh! Yes, but..._now_?"

I laughed softly.

"Fine." She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She handed me a towel before wrapping one around herself as she walked back out and sat on the end of the bed. She sighed as she rested her head on my shoulder when I sat beside her.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I murmured, although since asking the question I was even more anxious to know the answer.

"I tried dating," she said. "But it was all too much hard work. So there was only Sam."

Sam - Jake's brother. She'd told me a little about their relationship previously.

"Did you ever..." I wanted to ask whether she had fucked him, but the question stuck in my throat.

She seemed to understand anyway and shook her head. "No. We weren't completely celibate, but we never-" She cut off. "You're the only one I-" She chuckled darkly. "Why is this so hard?"  
I chuckled in reply and wrapped my arms around her. I knew what she meant; we were supposed to be getting everything out in the open and moving forward with no secrets. As her words settled on me I felt relief and joy bubble up within me. It was absolutely fucking hypocritical of me considering how many girls I had been with while we were apart,but I couldn't help but feel glad that I was the only one who had known her that way. It wouldn't have made me think less of her if she'd slept with a hundred guys, but I still felt a little bit of tension leave my body with the knowledge that she hadn't.

"Will you tell me... what happened just after you left? During those first few months?" she asked in response.

I nodded. "It's a long story though." I pulled her up the bed and laid down with her in my arms, her head tucked into my shoulder.

I began my story of a dark decent into drugs, alcohol and random women. I dropped my head back and whispered the tale to the ceiling, not able to meet her eyes for fear of seeing the disappointment I knew she would feel. I told her the story of the nightclubs and strip clubs. I held nothing back, explaining how Alice had saved me - how she had stopped me from going into work under the influence. I didn't stop there.

I launched straight into my train-wreck of a life, telling Bella all my secrets. I admitted that she had haunted my dreams, making me unable to sleep. How when I finally found rest I was subjected to nightmares which would render me helpless**, **cowering under the blankets until I would finally throw them off and go in search of alcohol to numb the pain I felt in my chest. How I began to rely on sleeping tablets to get the bare minimum sleep I needed to function. I told her about my sessions with Dr Laurent and how they had ended when I threw a temper-tantrum in his office. She'd already known she was the reason I was back in contact with him, but she didn't know she had also been the cause of our rift.

I confessed that everything had fallen apart when I'd seen her in Jake's arms at Queensland Raceway. How from that day forward I saw visions of her while I was on the track and that she was the reason I was crashing regularly.

I barely took a breath before recapping how I felt seeing her on the flight to London and how the night we'd had "sex without strings" had been one of the lowest points in my entire life - but only because she had left the room.

I reassured her by telling her about the first time I saw Phoebe and how I felt when they granted me the opportunity to be in their lives permanently.

Finally, when I had nothing left to say, I felt exorcised. The demons I had long grown used to were finally silenced. There were no doubts in my mind. No little voices telling me to run from Bella.  
I kissed the top of her head and stood up slowly. I grabbed a letter from my bag and turned back towards her, looking at her for the first time since I had started my story.

Her face showed signs of concern and worry. Her eyes were slightly reddened from the tears that had been welling. I wasn't sure whether the tears were because of some pity she felt towards me or whether my confessions had caused her genuine pain.

I handed her the letter. "I want you to read this. I wrote it when I arrived in Sydney."

I didn't need to tell her which time. I knew she would know I meant after the _Gossip Weekly_ article, alleging affairs and fights. When I thought she had run from me. When I thought I had lost not only her, but Phoebe too.

I watched her intently as her eyes scanned the page, reading the words that I had wanted so desperately to tell her at the time.

In the days that followed her dash to Sydney, we hadn't talked about anything more than my absolute pleasure inseeing her again and my devastation over losing my position on the Cullen Racing team. Bella had stayed in Sydney for such a short amount of time that we didn't have the opportunity to reflect on the past - only look to the future. During those few days, I hadn't shown her what I had written during what was without doubt the darkest period in my life.

After she had finished reading, she stared intently at the page. "Edward, it's... I..." she paused and took a deep breath. She looked up at me, and I could see warmth and desire reflected in her eyes, even through the fresh tears. "I love you."

I knew then that regardless of what happened, we would be all right.

* * *

"Come on, Edward," Bella murmured into me. "It's time to get back to bed. I'll help tire you out for sleep if you like." She flashed me a wicked grin.

Yep, even a month on... we were all right. In fact, we were better than all right.

I pulled my shirt off over my head as I followed her into our bedroom.

* * *

**A/N- Okay - so here we are again... **

**Welcome to all new readers. **

**Welcome back to all readers who have come forward from Chasing Victory. **

**I am not going to be able to update this as often as I did with Chasing Victory - I am aiming for once a fortnight. I may be able to squeeze out more than that - it may be less. All I know is RL is kicking my ass - but ATM RCE is kicking back harder. **

**And to kick this thing off in style - I will have a reviewer scene for ppl on this chapter :)**


	2. Interview with an ex driver

**Chapter 2: Interview with an ex-driver**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

* * *

The bulb flashed on the photographer's camera again.

"The camera loves, you baby," he called.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. Overall though, I had no complaints about the photo session or the interview questions. Prior to the meeting, Bella and I had both agreed to be honest and in return, we were given ultimate copy approval. The magazine knew not to ask anything that could be vetoed, and neither of us shied away from any of the questions they had asked.

I wondered how much longer the photographer was going to take - not that I was complaining. As photo shoots went, this one was relatively pain-free. The fact that I was able to spend ninety percent of the time kissing and snuggling with Bella was a definite advantage. Phoebe was in our sights the whole time, playing with Alice off to the side of the set. She was off-limits to the photographer though. We were happy to speak about her, but we weren't willing to discuss Emmanuel or have her photo shown in a national magazine. I knew it wouldn't be long before she was papped while out and about with us, and I knew I needed to be family-friendly to get sponsors back onside, but I wasn't going to allow photos of her to be the turning point in my career. I wasn't going to use my daughter in that way. Bella had chosen to stand by my side for the interview and photo shoot, but it had been her choice. I wouldn't force that choice on Phoebe. It was too much of a burden for my little girl.

The whole day had become one of reflection over the past few months - well years actually - of my life. The reporter's frank questions had forced me to consider some things which I had been happier to ignore, and reminded me of some things I never wanted to forget.

One question had been about my relationship with Bella's family. I wasn't sure what the best way to answer it was. Things were... tentative... between us at the time I left Brisbane. Bella's mum, Renee, and sister-in-law, Rosalie, were on my side, or at least willing to trust that I was what was best for Bella. Her father, Charlie, and brother, Emmett, were another matter. In fact, Charlie and Renee had visited Bella's house to bid us farewell on our last day in Brisbane. We had the do-it-yourself removal van loaded and were just finishing off lunch before preparing to clean the house when Charlie and Renee had dropped around.

* * *

"Hello?" Renee's voice called.

"In the kitchen," Bella answered.

She clasped my hand to let me know it would be okay, which should have been my first indicator that she had done something. Renee walked into the kitchen with a smile on her face and Phoebe squealed, "Nana!" throwing herself at her. It was only as Renee bobbed down to catch her, that I saw Charlie standing behind her.

"Edward," he murmured when he saw me staring.

"Sir," I choked back.

He raised his eyebrow at me. I had never called him sir before. He had always just been Charlie to me. Charlie, who had been like a second father to me. Charlie, who, in hindsight, was probably a better role model, and father, than my own.

Bella gave my hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement, and dragged me to sit down at the table. Renee reached back and pulled Charlie closer, before pushing him down onto a seat. I could see then that the two women had obviously planned this awkwardness, masquerading as a goodbye.

I twisted my mouth into the best smile I could offer, which wasn't much, and hissed through my teeth at Bella, "Don't tell me Emmett's coming too?" That would be just what I needed.

She shook her head. I let out the breath I was holding, in relief, but then she ruined the moment. "We've got to drop in and say goodbye to them on the way."

I turned to argue, but once I had seen the look on her face, I couldn't. It was so earnest and pleading. I couldn't deny her the opportunity to say goodbye to her brother before tearing her from his life. I closed my eyes and asked a question I knew I was sure to regret later, "Did you want to go to Jake's too?"

Her eyes flicked up to meet mine, and she nodded. "Only if you don't mind."

I bit back on the jealousy that rose in my throat, reminding myself that Jake was gay and - now that the forms to amend the birth certificates had been lodged - no longer had a claim on my daughter. He wasn't interested in her that way. In fact, he had shown much more interest in me than Bella. I put that thought out of my head as quickly as it had come, and shook my head to let her know I didn't mind. Having Charlie show up had already put a damper on the day; I decided I may as well get all the fucked up shit over with at once. If that meant fake-smiling my way through a stack of awkward meetings for Bella's and Phoebe's sakes, so be it.

Charlie sat down at the table with his arms crossed. He pouted as he stared between Bella and me. I wasn't sure if it was because he was remembering the chastening he got after the little surprise he and Emmett had arranged for me when I'd picked Bella up for a date, or because he was genuinely upset to see Bella and I back together. I hoped it was the former, because if not, he would just have to fucking deal with it. Bella and I were in it for the long run.

Renee seemed to sense the unease around the table and rose to her feet. "Edward, I want a quick word with you please... alone?"

I nodded and stood. I dipped to press a few small kisses onto Bella's cheek, partly because I wanted to remind her I loved her, but mostly to rub Charlie's face in it.

I followed Renee into Bella's old bedroom. Everything was packed away in the truck so the two of us just stood facing each other in the empty space. I looked down at Renee's face and saw the she was crying.

"Hey, now, what's up?" I asked, as softly as I could - reminding myself that Renee had been in my corner and was happy with my reunion with Bella.

"It's just sinking in that she's really going away. I won't be able to just pop in to see her anymore."

"Sydney's not that far away, and there's always Skype, and phone calls," I said, trying to cheer her up a little. "And emails."

"You will look after them both, won't you?" she looked at me pleadingly.

"With my life."

She nodded. "Thank you."

She pulled me down into her, wrapping her arms tightly around me. In that moment, she was a mother saying goodbye to her son. For me, it was the goodbye I hadn't been able to say to my own mother.

"Renee?" I asked softly.

"What is it, Sweetie?" she asked.

"When Mum comes back, can you just make sure that she's not alone." I couldn't bear the thought of Mum returning to her old life since she'd been freed from my cheating fucking bastard of a father. I didn't want to think of her going back to him or being lonely.

"Of course," she said, before pulling me into one final embrace.

We walked back into the kitchen to find Bella and Charlie in a tight embrace. Phoebe was on the floor switching between their legs.

Bella's eyes were closed, but it was easy to see she had been crying. "I'm going to miss you too, Daddy," she whispered.

In that instant, I had a moment of crystal-clear clarity. I pictured myself and Phoebe. Even if she were twenty-one, it would be hard to say goodbye. It would be hard knowing I couldn't see her whenever I wanted. When Charlie and Bella finally broke apart, I walked over to him and offered him my hand.

He stared at it for a beat before shaking it with his own.

"Don't worry, Sir, I will be there for them both."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella smile, before darting off to give Renee a hug goodbye.

"You better, Son," Charlie whispered venomously. "Or you'll have me to deal with."

His hand tightened around my own and I did the same in response. We shook hands for a few seconds longer than was strictly necessary, and I knew that his hand would be aching as much as mine when we'd finally let go. I vowed to myself that I would make him trust me - then he'd have to eat his words.

The visit with Emmett had gone much the same way, but Jake surprised me - literally. He pulled me into a hug and told me to keep my nose clean so that I'd be back on the track sooner. He said he'd miss not seeing my fine ass on TV.

* * *

After we'd finished, and the photographer was packing up his equipment, Alice bounced over to us.

"The camera really does love you two," she said. "I saw a couple of the photos as they came onto his computer monitor. They look great... and that's _before_ the photo-shopping." She laughed.

"Thanks again for being here to look after Phoebe, Alice," Bella said, giving her a quick hug.

Alice's prediction about the two of them had proven to be completely accurate - they were firm friends. The past month had been a whirlwind of finding the right daycare, the right doctor, of transferring hospital records and setting up house. If it weren't for Alice it would have been a lot harder to get anything organised. Alice had helped us greatly in the last few weeks by putting together a short-list and then volunteering her time to watch Phoebe so that we could check out three or four places. With my imminent return to Cullen Racing, I was relieved we had it all sorted. Bella had arranged to start at Pembletons a little earlier than planned. As much as it pained me, it was necessary. We needed the money to keep everything ticking over.

"Anytime," Alice said. "That goes for Jasper too... when you forgive him."

Bella groaned and I stifled a chuckle. Jasper and Bella's first meeting hadn't been anywhere near as smooth as her introduction to Alice.

* * *

Two weeks after we'd moved Bella to Sydney, we had received our first list from Alice - the top five daycares within a ten km radius of our house. After much discussion, we agreed to leave Phoebe with Alice while we checked them all out.

We started the day early, arriving at Alice's place - a swanky little apartment in inner-city Sydney, with no off-road car parks - a little after seven a.m. I pulled into a no parking zone so that Bella could unload Phoebe and take her ahead, while I found a place to park.

I heard afterwards that when she'd knocked on the door a loud voice called out from within, "Goddamn, fucking people. Who the fuck comes at this time of the morning?"

When the door was pulled open, Bella was gifted to a view of Jasper wearing nothing more than a pair of black silk boxers, and sporting a morning wood to boot.

"What?" he'd asked her, his eyes darting madly between Bella and Phoebe.

Bella assumed she had the wrong door and, blushing, made her exit.

After parking the car, I walked back to Alice's building and I found Bella out front looking flustered and a little frustrated.

"What number apartment is it again?" she asked.

"Seventeen," I said, confused. She'd double-checked that with me before climbing out of the car.

"That can't be right..." she said, "there was a man there..."

I laughed. "Jasper."

"Jasper... you mean your team-mate Jasper?"

I nodded. "I'm surprised you didn't recognise him from the promotional posters."

She blushed heavily. "I never paid much attention to anyone else on the posters," she admitted.

"Jasper!" Phoebe said over Bella, obviously trying out the name.

"Are he and Alice..." Bella asked.

I nodded. "For a few years now."

"Wow..." Bella said. "Nothing like keeping it in the team."

"I can probably get _you _a job there if you'd like?" I teased.

"Let's go - or we'll run out of time."

I nodded and we went to Alice's door. Jasper answered it and looked curiously at Bella, not even noticing me.

"You again?" he asked, the corners of his mouth turning up into a slightly worried smile; the sort I recognised - it was the one reserved for crazy-ass stalker fans.

"Yes, you ass," I said, earning a kick to the shin from Bella for my language. "Now are you going to let us in, or do we have to stand in the hallway all day."

"Squirt?" he said, sounding surprised. Then realisation dawned on his face, "Oh, then this must be the little woman, and the munchkin."

"Who's a munchkin?" Phoebe asked.

"You are, Munchkin," Jasper replied, tousling Phoebe's hair.

I could sense Bella bristling beside me and I understood why. She didn't like unknown people being touchy-feely with Phoebe, but Jasper was just being Jasper. He always seemed to exude an air of confidence and people generally liked him; it was one of the reasons _he _at least was regarded as being family-friendly, despite his past.

"I'm _not_ a munkchin," Phoebe declared. "I'm Phoebe Castor Swan!"

"You tell him, Missy," I said, laughing. Then I pushed my way past a slightly dazed Jasper into Alice's living room.

Alice flittered out at that moment and grinned at me. "Jasper hasn't been formally introduced yet?"

I shook my head.

"Allow me," she said. "Jasper, this is Edward's..." she seemed to pause over the word, I wondered how I would have filled it... love, life, future... any one of those words fit. Alice settled for, "Partner, Bella, and this -" she pointed to Phoebe, "is -"

"Phoebe Castor Swan," Jasper said. "Yeah, I got that introduction."

Alice quickly launched into a conversation with Bella about which daycares we were going to 'hit' today. The way they spoke about it made it sound more like a military raid than simply gathering enough information to make a decision.

"Boy, are you ever whipped," Jasper said to me after pulling me away from the girls. "Who'd have thought... the eternal bachelor, Edward Masen, picking out daycares."

"Shut the fuck up, bro," I said. "You'd do the same if it was Alice."

"I might have to one day soon - no thanks to you."

"What?" I asked. "She's not..." I couldn't even bring myself to say the word.

"Nah, man, but she's clucky as hell, thanks to your little munchkin."

"Uh, uh, uh... remember, she's not a munchkin," I said, laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever man," he said. "But really, how've you been? It's odd not having you on the track."

I shrugged. "It just makes it that much easier for you," I teased. "Less _real_ competition."

"As if! It's not like you offered any real competition anyway." He must have seen the brief pain that crossed my features, because he quickly changed the subject. "So what happened with you and..." he looked over in Bella's direction. "Al hasn't really told me much - says it's your story to tell."

I sighed. I knew this was a story I was going to have to tell repeatedly over the next few months, but that didn't make it any easier.

"I left her behind when I left Brisbane," I said.

"Oh shit," Jasper whispered. "That's _the _girl?"

I nodded.

"You were tapping that before you left?" he asked.

I felt my jaw clench with anger. I bit back the harsh words I thought - it wouldn't pay to piss off Alice's boyfriend in her apartment.

"And you still left?"

I nodded. "I was a fucking idiot."

"You're not wrong," he whispered again with a grin, his eyes roaming up Bella's legs and onto her bottom.

I punched his shoulder to draw his eyes off her. "I'll tell Alice," I threatened.

"Yeah," he said, his eyebrow raised. "I'll tell your little woman about your life down here."

"Too late."

He looked confused.

"There's nothing about my life down here that she doesn't know."

"Wow...you told her everything?"

I nodded.

"That was -" he said.

"Brave?" I finished for him.

"I was going to say stupid."

I shrugged. "It was the only way I could think of to earn back her trust."

"God, man - you left with a frank and beans and came back with an empty plate."

"Fuck you," I said, a little louder than the rest of our conversation.

"Edward," Bella called out, before inclining her head in Phoebe's direction.

I nodded sheepishly. It was easy to fall back into old habits talking with Jasper. I turned back towards Jasper to continue our conversation and noticed he was as white as a sheet.

"Holy fuck," Jasper whispered almost silently. "That's the girl. From Brisbane. The girl you left behind."

"Yes, Jasper," I said, speaking slowly - as if trying to explain a very fucking difficult concept to Phoebe. "That's Bella."

"I didn't think you ever wanted to talk to her again."

"I know that's what I said, but I've never stopped loving her - at least on some level."

"Holy fuck," Jasper repeated.

"What is it?" I asked. "You look like you're gonna barf."

"I swear, I'm sorry. I didn't know..." he rambled, getting paler, yet somehow greener, by the second. "Fuck, how was I supposed to know? When you said... fuck!"

"Alice, you're going to have to decipher for your boyfriend again," I called out jokingly, trying to draw something solid from him - even if it was a fuck you.

Alice and Bella both turned back toward us.

I saw Jasper's eyes roam onto Bella's face, and she offered him a small smile. I smiled at my girl - willing to give him a chance just because he was my friend and Alice's boyfriend.

Jasper exhaled heavily beside me.

"Seriously, dude, what the fuck is wrong?" I asked.

Jasper didn't turn away from Bella's face as he spoke. "I didn't mean anything by it, I just wanted to help you out. You said you didn't want to talk to her anymore and... I... when I heard the message... then on your computer... I just thought... well I... fuck, I didn't think. I wasn't thinking."

Something clicked for Bella with that sentence. "It was you!" she hissed.

Jasper finally stopped staring, dropping his eyes to the floor instead.

I looked to Alice to see if she could enlighten me to what was happening, but she looked as confused as I felt.

"You fucking asshole!" Bella screeched before launching herself at him.

Alice quickly spun around and grabbed Phoebe, pulling her swiftly from the room.

I wrapped my arms around Bella, pulling her away, but not before she threw punches at Jasper. I knew she'd connected a few times by the soft thuds I'd heard. I held her tightly in my arms as she fought against me.

"Calm down, baby," I murmured into her hair.

"You don't understand," she screamed. "It was him."

I spun her in my arms so that she was facing me instead of Jasper. Hopefully if he was out of her sight, it would allow her to calm a little. I took the risk of loosening my grip and used one hand to brush her hair off her face. "What was him?"

"The email, Edward," she seethed. "He sent the email."

Her words sunk in. Jasper had been the one who sent her an email of me in an orgy with cheerleaders to try to get her to stop contacting me. But somehow, I couldn't find it in myself to care as much as she did. I wasn't thrilled about the fact, but ultimately I was still to blame. He may have pushed the send button on the email, but the footage was already there - and _that_ was my fault. I'd also been the one that told him, repeatedly, that I never wanted to speak to Bella again.

I pulled her tighter into me and whispered to her. "It's in the past; we're making a new start now."

She shook her head against me. "It hurt so much to see that. Of everything that you ever did to me, that was one of the most painful."

I saw Jasper turn and leave the room, his hands clenched into tight fists by his sides.

I tipped her chin back lightly with my finger, drawing her eyes to my face. "Baby, I will never hurt you again. I'm sorry that I ever did anything so stupid and allowed it to hurt you." I dipped my head and pressed my lips to hers.

"You did what?" Alice's voice screeched from the bedroom. "So help me Jasper Whitlock, I cannot believe you would hurt a young girl like that."

Phoebe started to wail, no doubt as a result of all the raised voices.

"Come to Mummy," Bella called to her. She ran into the room and flew into Bella's arms.

Alice came out from the bedroom with an apologetic look on her face.

"I'm sorry, Alice," Bella said. "I think it would be best if I took Phoebe with me for now."

I noticed the use of I instead of us, and me instead of we. I wondered how much Jasper's stuttering confession set me back and sighed.

Bella turned to me, obviously misunderstanding the reason behind my sigh. "I'm sorry, I know he's your team-mate and all, but I just can't..." she shook her head.

"Forget, Jasper," I said, shooting Alice a remorseful smile. "We'll just look at the list Alice gave us, and come back another time when he's not here, okay?"

Bella nodded.

Alice saw us to the door. Just before she turned back inside, she pulled Bella into a hug. "I know he can be an ass, but he usually means well."

"Thanks for the list, Alice."

The rest of the day was spent dragging a screaming three-year-old from daycare centre to daycare centre. It was not the best day of my life - not by a long shot - but then again it didn't even rate among my worst. That list was filled with the four years I'd spent apart from Bella, and topped off by the day I thought she'd left me forever.

* * *

"I know you love him, Alice," Bella said. "But I just can't face him yet."

I wasn't sure if she didn't want to see him yet because of the email, or because she was embarrassed by how she had reacted.

"I know," Alice said cheerily. She'd long accepted that there was a distance between her now best friend and her boyfriend. She believed absolutely that one day they would find a way to move past it. Until then, Alice was happy to play piggy in the middle. "And you mister -" she added, "don't forget tomorrow's the big day."

I groaned. How could I possibly forget that I was returning to Cullen Racing the next day? It was the day I had been looking forward to, and dreading equally, since accepting Carlisle's offer to return. It was the day the life Bella and I had been creating in Sydney would really start - the real life of work and routine, of daycare and dinner. It scared the absolute fuck out of me.

"It'll be fun," Alice said. "You'll learn new things and you know Carlisle will look after you. In fact," - she grinned widely - "he has a surprise for you when you get in tomorrow."

I swallowed around the lump that had taken up residence in my throat. "What is it?" I croaked.

Alice let out a titter. "If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?"

Bella chuckled. "She has you there."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Don't you start on me too," I said.

Bella pouted. I moved quickly, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her up against me, before sucking her lip into my mouth and gently running my teeth along it. "Don't tease me," I whispered threateningly.

"Or what?" she asked, licking her lips.

"Or I just might have to punish you." I grinned.

Alice cleared her throat, no doubt trying to break us apart before we started fucking on the set and really giving the photographer something to capture.

I kissed Bella's lips once more before releasing her.

"I've got to go," Alice said, smacking my shoulder lightly. "I've got dinner with Jasper tonight - and then who knows?" She winked at the implications.

"Gross, Alice," I said. "I do _not_ need to know about your sex life with Jasper."

"Well, you seemed so willing to share yours with me a minute ago - it seems only fair to reciprocate."

I poked my tongue out at her as Bella laughed. I fucking loved the sound of that laugh, it made me reach down and grab her again, pulling her into me and kissing her sweet lips.

"That's enough you two," Alice giggled. "Edward, I'll see you tomorrow. Bella, shopping this weekend, and I'm not taking no for an answer."

Bella and I groaned in unison, and then laughed together. I collected Phoebe into one arm and wrapped the free one around Bella. I may have needed to go to work the next day, but for the moment, I just needed to spend time alone with my girls.

* * *

**A/N: Reviewers get the link to the rest of the magazine article... and maybe something else, if my mind shakes anything loose. **

**Corrina... bb you were right, although in my defence it wasn't _immediately!_**

**I am still aiming for fortnightly updates, y'all just got lucky this time hehehe :) **


	3. Mini Moments

**Chapter 3: Mini moments**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

* * *

There had to be something wrong, because there was no fucking way in hell that I needed to get up when it was still dark outside. The alarm was blaring loudly, interrupting my peace. I lifted my head off the pillow and growled at it, trying to intimidate it into silent submission. I finally gained the use of my limbs and smacked the snooze button, ending the horrid sound. I groaned and dropped my head back onto the pillow and prepared to go back to sleep.

"Come on," Bella murmured beside me. "You have to get up."

_No!_ I thought. I wanted nothing more than to pull the blanket over my head, cuddle into Bella's side, and forget about the rest of the world.

Bella broke that desire by sitting up and pushing the blanket off us both.

"Fucking hell," I murmured. "It's too early to be up."

She chuckled beside me, before leaning over and kissing my cheek. "You've just gotten soft with all the sleeping in that you've been doing lately."

"Fuck off!" I said. "I'm as hard as ever."

I grabbed her hand and pressed it into my morning wood, just to prove my point.

Bella surprised me by tightening her hand around my length and giving it a gentle rub.

"Baby, that feels good," I moaned.

She giggled, before letting go of me and climbing out of bed, pulling the blanket back up over her side of the bed. She began unbuttoning her pyjama top, teasing me with a quick glimpse at the creamy skin of her breasts. "I'm going to have a shower," she said as she left the room, her boy-leg panties showing off her perfect, pert ass. She turned back around to look at me and her shirt was hanging open. One of her nipples was peeking out, begging to be licked. "You know," she continued. "It seems a shame to waste all that room in there...it really is far too big for just one person."

I was out of the bed and across the room in less than a second, all fatigue gone with the promise of shower sex with my personal goddess. I clasped her thighs in my hands and wrapped her legs around my waist as my mouth found hers. I carried her into the en suite, pressing her roughly against the wall in my desperation to shed her clothes. Once I had her pinned securely against the wall, I peeled off her shirt. I took one of her breasts into my mouth and tasted her–she was sweetness and honey.

I released her from my hold and slid her underwear down her legs, slowly following them to the floor. I paused along the way to kiss her breasts, then her stomach and one of her thighs before pulling her underwear off completely. She pressed past me and turned her back to me to turn on the shower.

I dragged my fingers up the length of her thigh before cupping her ass. I couldn't help myself; I pulled my hand back and gave her a quick gentle slap. My morning wood had turned into a full, raging boner, and I needed her. I made short work of my own boxers before claiming her under the water. I pulled her up into my arms and slid her straight over me.

"Fuck, baby," I whispered into her neck.

I pushed her against the tiles in the shower, and she gave a small squeal and her nipples instantly hardened as the cold pressed into her back. I took one into my mouth and bit down gently. Bella gave a small cry of pained pleasure. I pressed harder against her, slamming my cock into her and pushing her more harshly against the wall. The sounds of our bodies slapping together under the water, filled the room like a fucking symphony. I ran my tongue up between her breasts, sucking in some of the water as it cascaded down.

I wanted to enjoy Bella some more-the pace my body was setting was much too fast-so I sank to the shower floor, pulling her with me. She climbed on top of me, and sliding down over my cock. Her hips rose and fell in a slow, steady rhythm. I used the extra freedom to explore her body more thoroughly with my hands. My fingers found her nipples and they danced there for a moment, pulling, rolling and gently twisting them.

She gave a delicious groan when my thumb brushed against her clit.

I ran my hands around to cup her ass, before pushing her hips down harder on me while pushing up with my own. I brushed her clit again, and she brought her eyes to mine. The love and passion I saw there filled me with confidence. The day was going to go well–but I would miss the hell out of her.

I began to rub the swelling nub softly, no longer caring for my own needs or desires. I wanted to make her feel good. I wanted to show her how much I fucking loved her. I kept rubbing as she moved her hips in a delicate pattern. My other hand cupped her face and guided her mouth to mine. I pushed my tongue forward to meet hers and closed my eyes,feeling her body's response to my touch. Her hips swivelled against my hand and dick as she found her way to her climax. I kissed her long and hard until she was unable to contain her orgasm any longer, and she dropped her head back to moan softly into the water. When that happened, I simply dropped my attention from her mouth to her breasts. Her hands clenched around my shoulders, her nails digging into my skin. I flicked her nipple with my tongue as my thumb grazed her clit, and she found her release around me.

"Fuck baby, you are beautiful when you come," I told her.

She dropped her head to my shoulder as she came down to earth slowly. Once her breathing was almost back to normal, I stood, pulling her up with me. I kissed the tip of her nose and smiled at her. I turned to grab the shampoo, but when I turned back with a dollop in my hand, Bella grabbed hold of my dick and began to stroke lightly. All thoughts of hygiene flew out of the window as I was lost in her touch. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the glass of the shower wall.

The next instant, I felt her warm mouth close around me, and I whimpered with pleasure. I felt my balls tighten almost immediately. My fingers went to her hair, running back and forth through her wet locks as she sucked my length in and out, and my knees grew weak as the sensation overwhelmed me. The intensity was too much for me to bear, and I soon grunted as I found my own release, collapsing back against the wall.

"Wow!" I panted. "Good morning."

"Good morning to you too," Bella said, a huge grin on her face.

"So do I get a wake-up like that every morning for work?"

She swiped my shoulder with her hand playfully before answering, "Not _every_ morning."

It was the best start to the day I could have asked for. I was feeling so blissed out that nothing could bring me down. We finished up our shared shower and got dressed before waking Phoebe up. She was starting at her daycare in preparation for Bella's return to work. We sat and ate breakfast together and, as I looked around the table, I couldn't help but laugh.

"What is it?" Bella asked.

"Just for someone who is supposedly not 'family friendly', this is a very Norman Rockwell moment."

Bella laughed in agreement.

"What's Normal Rockwall?" Phoebe asked.

Bella giggled. "I'll explain when you are older honey, but for now... let's go get you dressed."

Phoebe had been so excited about her new 'school' that she had picked out her outfit the night before. Then she'd put it back and selected another outfit. Then another. And another. Finally, she had worn herself out so much that she couldn't make any more choices and fell asleep in front of the wardrobe.

An hour, and three more last-minute clothing choices, later, we finally had Phoebe wrangled and in the car.

She chatted animatedly while I drove, and Bella held my hand in the passenger seat. Truly, life just couldn't get any better.

We arrived at the daycare earlier than we had planned, which turned out to be a good thing as Phoebe sobbed into Bella, refusing to let her go. All of the previous night's excitement had fizzled away and only fear remained. Finally, one of the caregivers had to just pull Phoebe away and try to distract her with some toys, while Bella and I made our escape.

Once we were back in the car, Bella sat staring at her hands. "I shouldn't have left her there. She's going to hate it. They aren't going to look after her properly. They..."

"Bella, baby, shhh," I whispered calmly. "She'll be fine. We looked at all the options remember. We picked this one because they had the best caregivers."

She nodded softly before turning to me. "Okay...I'm all right now. Thank you."

We drove on to Cullen Racing headquarters, and suddenly I was the one that needed to be calmed. As the building loomed into view, my hands began to shake. _Pull yourself together fucktard,_ I told myself, but it didn't work. I let out an uneven breath as Bella and I climbed from the car after I had parked it. I dropped my car keys into her hand.

"You'll be fine," Bella whispered, kissing my cheek.

"Of course I will," I lied.

"I'll be back later to pick you up."

I nodded. "Promise me you won't go pick Phoebe up early," I said.

She looked at me innocently.

"Promise?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, but nodded. "I promise."

I pulled her to me and kissed her tenderly. I filled my mind with her scent and the feel of her touch so that I could get through the day without her by my side. This was us...living in the real world. Just like I had talked about in my first few face-to-face sessions with my psychiatrist, Dr Laurent.

I walked up to the glass doors, pausing briefly to take a deep breath. I reached for my security card to gain access, but then I remembered I didn't have it anymore. Carlisle had destroyed the old one and had refused to give me a new one until I had actually started back at work.

I pressed the buzzer and waited for the security guard to come to the door, it was the height of fucking embarrassment waiting for someone to escort me in. I swore that if I'd seen anyone even so much as smirk at me, I was going to beat their fucking ass.

Luckily, the security guard was quick and didn't seem to find my situation amusing in the least.

"Edward," he greeted me with a nod. He led me straight into his little security booth, getting a photo of me for my new pass. He printed it out and handed it to me.

I cast my eyes over it quickly, but then I paused. "Wait...there's a mistake here," I said. Under employment, it had 'Mechanic/Driver'.

The guard cast his eye over the page in front of him, and then looked at his computer. "Nope, that's what I got."

"But it says driver," I said, my voice pitching slightly higher than normal. I tried desperately to shake the hope that maybe, just maybe, Carlisle had already changed his mind and was letting me back behind the wheel of a V8.

"Yep, that's what I was told," he said. "If there's a problem, you'll have to take it up with the boss-man. I've got instructions to take you straight to him anyway."

I nodded, staring at the card in front of me. The word 'Driver' was printed in letters so small they may have seemed insignificant, but they leapt off the card and danced in front of my eyes with such promise that I couldn't help grinning.

I clutched my security pass tightly in my hand, which I kept pressed into the pocket of my jeans. I silently dared anyone to try to take that little piece of plastic from me. 'Driver', I could still see the word emblazoned in front of my eyes; six little black letters that meant so much.

I followed the security guard to Carlisle's office. He left me at the door, and I knocked to get permission to enter.

"Enter," Carlisle called from his desk.

I walked into the room with a newfound purpose. 'Driver'.

"Edward Masen..." Carlisle started, a small welcoming smile crossing his features. "I trust everyone is settled in at home."

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow at me. I wondered if he could sense my excitement and my willingness to tow the company line if it meant I could be back in the hot seat.

"Liam is very excited to have you on board," Carlisle said. "Although, I have to say you are the oldest apprentice we've ever had."

I nodded, afraid that talking would break whatever magic spell or good mood Carlisle was in... 'Driver'.

"I have some news Edward, concerning your position here."

"Yes?" I choked out in response.

"I have decided to run another car this year."

My mouth involuntarily crept into a grin. Another car. Three V8s...three drivers. I nodded.

I began to picture myself behind the wheel as Carlisle spoke again. My mind drifted to the track, to the music of the machine and the feel of the crowds alongside the car.

"... of course your pit duties will take precedence on race day," he finished.

"Huh?" I asked, confused because I hadn't listened to the first part of his conversation-but also trying to figure out how I could be in the pits and on the track at the same time.

"I don't want you losing that unique touch that makes you such a skilled driver," he said. "But I also think the time with Liam will serve you well. Understanding how the cars tick will help in the long run."

I nodded, wishing I could ask him to repeat himself, but knowing that admitting I hadn't been paying attention wouldn't be the best move right now.

"So?" Carlisle asked. "Do you want to see your new car?"

I grinned. "Fuck yes!"

"I have to say, Edward," he said as he led me towards the garages. "I didn't know how you would take this. I was a bit worried in fact, but you seem to be very understanding."

"I get to drive again," I said. "That's all that matters."

"I'm glad you feel that way. That sort of mature attitude is going to get you far."

As soon as we reached the shed, Liam came over. His hand was greasy, but he stuck it out for me to shake anyway. I realised that it was a test, so I met his eye and shook his hand. I worked on my karts when I used to race them, and serviced my own cars at home, so I wasn't exactly afraid of a bit of grease.

"Welcome aboard, kid," he chuckled, slapping me on my back.

"Thanks, Spanners," I said, using the nickname that his crew had given him. I figured if I was going to be working alongside him, I may as well get used to the name too. It would seem like I was brownnosing to use his real name.

"That reminds me," he said. "We'll have to think of a nickname for you too, kid."

"Try Squirt," Jasper called as he made his way over to us. "It always worked for me."

"Fuck off," I hissed at him. That nickname had been nothing but trouble for me over the years.

"Aww...is ickle Squirt angwy about his nickname?" Jasper asked in a mock-baby voice. "Seriously though dude, welcome back."

"Fuck you very much," I said through gritted teeth.

"Well, I don't think you'll have too much trouble fitting in with the boys down here with that attitude," Liam said. "Although... I never really doubted that too much anyway–or else I never would have agreed to Carlisle's suggestion. I wouldn't want to put a cat among the pigeons."

I nodded, but was largely ignoring him because I saw Carlisle pull out his key-card to get into the end shed. The new car was obviously in there. I wondered whether it was one a brand-new VE Commodore or one of the old VZ's rebuilt. I didn't mind either way–I was just happy to be back.

I stood anxiously behind Carlisle as he pushed open the door. The car was red and almost bare, with only a handful of sponsor stickers. Based on the placement, I guessed they were the series sponsors stickers. But worse, so much worse, was that it was _not _the car I was expecting. Not even close.

"You've got to be kidding me!" I shouted as I took in the car. To say it wasn't what I expected was a Goddamn understatement. To say the sight of it pissed me the fuck off would be too. "What the fuck is _that_?"

Carlisle turned to me, surprised. "That's the new car. We're trialling the series this year–as a privateer for now. If it's successful we'll run it again next year with sponsors."

"But..." I said incredulously. "It's a fucking Mini!"

"You'd be surprised how much the crowds are getting behind these cars," Carlisle said. He looked back at Liam, who left the room without saying another word. He almost seemed relieved to be leaving in fact.

Carlisle shut the door and locked it so that we were completely alone before he turned back to me.

"Why didn't you give me this reaction up in my office?" he asked coldly, grabbing my arm and squeezing it.

I knew I had just fucked up again.

"That's why I met you up there first." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you _deliberately_ trying to embarrass me in front of everyone...because I guarantee you, Edward, that will _not_ work out well for you."

"Shit, no, fuck," I said quickly. "I just...well...I-just-thought-it-would-be-a-V8." The words tumbled from my mouth.

"A V8?" he said incredulously. "After everything I told you about sponsors and racing a month ago, you thought I would put you back into a V8? Do you have any idea how much those things cost to run? To fix? I can't do that without sponsors...and no one is willing to put their name anywhere near your reputation at the moment."

"So who's paying for this car then?" I asked, confused.

"I am," Carlisle's voice was still ice and steel. "I thought you would appreciate the fact that I was trying to ensure you will still get some time on the track and be able to keep your skills honed, even if it isn't in the car you wanted. But if you are satisfied with wielding a wrench for the rest of your life–suit yourself."

I knew I needed to do some serious backpedalling. "No, fuck, I mean…thanks. I get it. I was just...surprised." I looked at the Mini again and winced. Why a mini? Why couldn't I go back to a fucking production car or some shit? I knew the answer; this was also a test. My life until I got back behind the wheel was no doubt going to be a series of fucking tests to see if I had the metal and maturity to be behind a V8.

Well...if that was what they wanted to do, I would just have to man the fuck up and deal. At least I would be back racing competitively again...even if it was in a _Mini._

* * *

After the initial shock of seeing the Mini wore off, I was able to see it for what it was–a peace offering, and a chance to prove that I still had it. A chance to spend the next twelve months in a car, rather than just alongside it. I would still have to work hard to prove I was willing to do the apprenticeship, but I was actually excited about that.

My first day back at Cullen Racing passed relatively smoothly. Most of the mechanics seemed to be willing to accept me–even if they did nickname me 'Spark plug', because I was so easily replaced when the spark went out of my career.

The only dark patch on my day, besides the fucking Mini, was James. James the freaking psycho made it his objective to give me hell. And not in a 'find me a left-handed screwdriver' way, like the boys in the sheds. Instead, he found my weak spots and rode them all day. He asked about Bella, telling me that she was too far out of my league, and that he would show her what a real man was like. He said things to me which, had they come from Jasper, would usually have warranted a fuck you spoken aloud, and then we'd have moved on. But because they came from James, his words stuck in my craw and irritated me.

By the end of the day, I was dirty, tired and sick to fucking death of the lunatic. It had been a long time since I'd had a day quite that hard. Usually my days were filled with meetings, strategy and just generally fucking around. I rang Bella to ask her to bring my 4WD to pick me up, and put a garbage bag over the seat. There was no fucking way I was going anywhere near my Monaro covered in as much grease as I was. I would have to remember that in the future. I nearly cried, driving my Monaro home was going to be the highlight of my day. I needed to know I was able to drive at least one V8 and not live in a world full of fucking Minis.

Bella picked Phoebe up on the way over to my work, which was probably a good thing, because I was just anxious to get home, have a shower, and crawl into bed. I was ready to wash away the filth of my first day.

**

* * *

**

A/N:- Sorry for the confusion last chapter - Fortnight = two weeks. It's a very common term here in Australia, so common that I didn't even think it needed a lost in translation thing. My aim atm is to update at least that frequently - it maybe more or less depending on RL.

**Lost in translation things this chapter are Boy-leg panties. Apparently they're called Boy-short panties in the states. IDK why they are different, just that they are hot regardless LOL. **

**I will have a BPOV scene for this, just not sure exactly when :) **


	4. Hair Trigger

**Chapter 4: Hair trigger**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

* * *

My first week back at Cullen Racing passed in much the same fashion as my first day. I quickly settled into a decent routine, and eventually even managed to deal with the fact that the only thing I would be driving in the foreseeable future was the mini.

I was glad I'd had the week to gather my bearings when Bella started her new job at Pembletons the following Monday. Technically, it made no difference to my day or schedule, and yet somehow it made all the difference. Rather than waking to foreplay and shower-sex, like I had almost every day, I woke to a raging monster. She hissed at me to pack Phoebe's bag while she continued ironing her blouse. Then she decided that the blouse was all wrong for her first day, put it back in the wardrobe, and proceeded to iron another; I realised precisely where Phoebe got her indecisive wardrobe gene.

We had raced out the door with barely a minute to spare. Bella had all but thrown Phoebe out of the car at the daycare; okay that was a slight exaggeration, but we definitely didn't have the luxury of time that we'd had the previous week. As we'd planned, I'd dropped Bella off at her job in the city and then driven myself to Cullen Racing.

That afternoon I ran the same race in reverse; I collected Bella in the city before speeding to the daycare to pick up Phoebe before they closed at six. We arrived home in an exhausted heap. I was desperate to have a shower to get the grease and shit from the day off of me. Bella declared she would organise dinner, and I could bathe Phoebe while I was there. It terrified me because I'd only ever helped Bella out with the bathing arrangements a few times. I'd never been left alone to handle that shit. It was all still a little new and a lot scary. I had managed eventually though-even if Phoebe's pyjamas had ended up buttoned in the wrong holes, and Bella needed to fix them right before serving the food.

Finally, after wrangling with Phoebe and getting things organised for the next day, Bella and I had collapsed into bed, drained and exhausted. I rolled over, pulling her into my arms. I kissed her forehead once before trailing a line of kisses along her cheek. I captured her mouth with mine.

She kissed me back for less than a second and then pulled away from me. She smiled slightly at me before uttering three little words that changed my entire night, "Not tonight, honey." _Fuck me._

The whole week followed the same pattern, except instead of organising things in the morning, we arranged it all the previous night, using those few precious minutes in the morning to sleep. All and all, it was a successful week; except for the serious case of blue-balls I had developed. I swear lack of sex was the perfect form of torture. Over the next few weeks we both became time poor and exhausted from working full-time and child-rearing combined and the well dried up significantly. I was nearly at the end of my rope most nights, and most mornings I had to service myself in the shower.

I settled into work quickly, so much so that by the time the first month had passed, and work was getting ready to break for the Christmas closure, I had learned more about my fellow mechanics than I had in the previous four years. I wasn't sure whether the new knowledge was because of the forced proximity, because I was now one of the boys or simply because I'd previously had my head so far up my own ass that I hadn't given a shit about them or their lives.

I struck up a quick friendship with a few of the other mechs. We were allocated into two crews, with each team assigned to a car. My little gang consisted of Benjamin, Embry, Paul, Quil and Tia. I didn't know most of them-although, I knew Tia well enough. She'd been with Cullen Racing longer than I had and I had learned not to question why she got into the trade very early on. If you were on her good side, and didn't ask stupid questions about her sexuality, she was a ripper chick. If, however, you crossed her or implied she was a dyke, that was it; you were on her bad side and that was not a nice place to be. I knew that _very _well from when I'd first arrived in Sydney as the rookie.

Two of the boys, Embry and Quil, were a couple of years younger than I was, but they were second year apprentices and therefore technically outranked me in the pits. I was the lowest of the low, but my crew didn't treat me that way. To them, I was just another apprentice. They'd tried all the usual tricks; even requesting that I go to spares and ask for a _long weight_. I told them to fuck off, because there was no way in hell I was _waiting_ for anyone. My retort probably helped me to gain at least a little respect because they knew I wasn't falling for that shit.

The only stain on my month as an apprentice grease monkey was James. Fucking James. Somehow, our team drew the short straw, and we ended up being allocated as the primary crew for James' car. No one else on my crew seemed to mind too much, but I hated that jumped-up fucking prick. His head was so far up his ass he'd need a map and a flashlight to ever find his way back out again. Although, he would probably refuse the torch considering he thought the sun shone from his own ass.

It wasn't just that he'd stolen my position on the team that pissed me off. He was the epitome of arrogance. He propositioned every girl in sight, harassing them until they finally submitted, and then spread rumours about how easy they had been.

It seemed as if his day wasn't quite complete until he had hunted me down and given me shit about something. At first, it was about my apparent inability to drive, even though I had driven circles around him when we were both on the racetrack the previous few years. But after the article in Woman's Idea had come out, he'd taken to asking me about my 'gold-digging' girlfriend. It got to the point at one stage where I streaked up to Carlisle's office and barged in, not even waiting for an answer after knocking on the door.

"You have to get rid of that lunatic," I hissed.

Carlisle looked up at me and sighed. "What is the problem, Edward?"

"It's that psycho, James!"

"James is a valued lead-driver, Edward," Carlisle said patiently.

"No, he's a fucking disaster. He's arrogant. He doesn't have any regard for what anyone else thinks. He's hit on or slept with every female in a hundred mile radius of this building..."

Carlisle cut me off with a quiet chuckle.

"What?" I demanded.

"You could be describing someone who is standing not very far from me right now, you know."

I realised he meant me. "I am _nothing _like that fucker."

"Maybe not now," he answered diplomatically. "But it wasn't that long ago that almost those exact words were used in complaint about you."

To say I was fucking stunned was an understatement. "Who by?"

He shook his head. "I never betray the confidence of a source, but I will tell you what I told them. Your comments have been noted, and I will take them on board, but as long as he keeps his nose clean, stays away from bad press and gets around the racetrack cleanly and quickly, I have no reason to let him go."

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"Edward, of anyone's necks around here, yours is the one I would worry about."

"What?" I asked, shocked. I had been working my ass off to learn the trade. I'd done everything asked of me and, in my opinion, I'd kept my nose clean.

"Don't get me wrong," Carlisle said. "I've heard good things about you from Liam and, as I've proven to you, I believe in second chances. But at the end of the day, this is a team and all members need to get along with each other. If you can't make the effort to get along with James, we might have problems."

I gaped at Carlisle for a second before murmuring, "Fine, _I'll_ make an effort." I turned away. "But I guarantee he won't." I stalked from his office without another word.

From that day until the day we broke for Christmas, every time James came in my general vicinity I bit my tongue, stopped answering back, and tried to ignore his comments. Instead I imagined snapping my wrist back and breaking his nose or pictured myself getting him into a headlock and smashing his smarmy, arrogant face against my knee.

Just before giving us all an early pass to leave for Christmas, Carlisle called me into his office.

He handed me an envelope.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Your Christmas bonus," he said. "A thank you for backing off with the whole James thing. I've noticed the improvement in your attitude."

He probably meant the fact that I could smile when James was around me, but he didn't realise it was only because I was imagining random acts of violence. I opened the envelope and found plane tickets inside. Three first class seats on a flight to Brisbane just a few days before Christmas.

"I thought you might like to go back to visit your family," he said.

"Thank you," I said, glancing at the tickets. Then I chuckled. "Although after last time, I wouldn't have thought you'd want me visiting Brisbane."

"The thought did cross my mind that it wouldn't be the best idea, but then I remembered that was before Bella. She's done a lot to help you, hasn't she?"

I nodded, unable to speak around the lump in my throat. I knew Carlisle would never fully appreciate just what Bella did for me.

"So we'll see you at our place for the Christmas party tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "At least, I think so."

"Esme is very excited about meeting the young woman who puts up with you, not to mention that little one of yours."

* * *

"Squirt!" Jasper shouted from the other side of the almost Olympic-sized swimming pool before diving in. Why a couple in their early forties with no kids needed a pool that size in their backyard was beyond me, but it did make for a good Christmas party.

Alice appeared out of thin air and pulled Bella and Phoebe off in another direction. I watched as Bella walked away, heading towards a group of WAG's. I took a second to admire the outline of her hips visible through the almost but not quite see-through material of the sarong she was wearing over the top of her black swimmers. I squirmed a little in my boardies because the sight of her ass wiggling was turning me on and, because things had been lacking on that front, I wanted her so fucking badly. I was entranced by her when Paul sidled past me.

He whistled. "Nice legs."

"Hey, fucker, that's my girl!" I said.

He laughed. "Who said I was talking about the girl?" he asked, before winking at me.

I made a mental note to introduce him to Jake if the opportunity arose.

Jasper rose out of the water, hoisted himself out of the pool and walked over to me. He shook his fucking mane of hair over me, drenching the shirt and boardies I was wearing.

"Hey, shithead," he said. "Where'd the little woman go?"

"Your _littler_ woman bundled her and Pheebs off to chick-central." I nodded in the direction of the girls. The sound of cooing and all the other noises women make when confronted with babies and little children issued from the pack. I shuddered, glad to be able to head off in the opposite direction.

We walked over to the almost car-sized esky, and he bent over into it.

"You want a Pure Blonde?" he asked.

I chuckled. "You offering, beautiful." I made kissy-face sounds. "Then again, I wouldn't say there was anything pure about you."

"Fuck off!" he exclaimed. "And for that... you get a four-ex."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, but accepted the beer he threw at me.

"Man, I've barely had time to talk to you at work," he said, cracking open his own. He didn't mention the fact that we never hung out outside of work anymore because Bella hated him. "What's this shit about you driving a mini?"

"You heard about that, huh?" I asked.

Carlisle had kept the mini under wraps for as long as he could, because he didn't want anyone to think I was getting _preferential_ treatment - as if being shoved in a four-cylinder tin can was something to crow about. Eventually though word had started to spread, especially once the update hit the official website to include the Mini Series logo underneath the V8 Supercar and Fujitsu Series logos. It served as a reminder of the pecking order - as if I didn't already know that the fucking Mini was going to be putting me at the bottom of the heap. But at least I was in a car; that's what both Bella and Dr. Laurent said I had to keep telling myself.

"Everyone's heard about it by now," he said.

"And let me guess, I'm the fucking laughing stock."

"Nah, man."

I scoffed, before taking another big swig of my beer. I hadn't had anything to drink in such a long time it felt like saying hello to an old friend.

"Seriously man, most everyone I've spoken to has agreed that they think it's gonna be great seeing you back on track. No one wanted to see the shit hit the fan like that."

I could imagine exactly who the exception to the 'most everyone' was. I could guarantee his name started with a J, and he was a psycho who had stolen everything important to me. I chugged the last of my beer before grabbing another one.

Jasper continued to talk shop, telling me the goss from _Upstairs_ where the drivers, publicists, strategists and other 'important' people worked. I couldn't believe how long I had held the same belief, but in my short time with the mechs I had grown to realise that the people on trumped up salaries were no more important than the lowest apprentice was. After all, the promoters signed the sponsors, and without the money there would be no car; but without well maintained cars there would be no need for sponsors.

The afternoon passed quickly in a haze of swimming, sun and booze. I gazed in the direction of Bella and the girls regularly to make sure she was having a good time. Eventually Jasper and I became surrounded by my crew. Quil and Embry had clearly decided that knowing me gave them an in with Jasper, a reason to shoot the shit with him - something that would generally never happen-and they used it to their advantage. By the time the sun was starting to set, I realised it had been a while since I'd last seen Bella and decided to go look for her. As I stood, my head spun just a little from the alcohol, and I staggered off toward the last place I had seen her.

I hunted around the party for a little while. Most of the couples had come back together and paired off so I couldn't understand where she could be. Eventually I spotted her sitting in one of the banana lounges a distance away from everyone else. She was shaded by the darkness, but I could tell she was wet by the way the moonlight shone off her skin. Evidentially she'd been for a swim. She had her sarong tied loosely around her hips, revealing one of her perfect legs right up to her thigh. I licked my lips, longing for a taste of the creamy skin there. I was getting ready to go over to her when I heard her laughter ring out and realised she was talking with someone. I squinted through the darkness to see her companion, expecting to see Alice or possibly even Esme, but grew angry when I recognized James.

I raced over to her. "What the hell's going on?" I asked, looking between them for a second before closing my eyes. I tried to do my creative visualisation that Dr. Laurent had been teaching me, but it was doing jack shit when faced with the sight of Bella and James having a cosy little chat in the dark.

"Edward?" Bella asked sounding surprised.

"Who else would it be Bella?" I couldn't stop the anger that infused my voice.

"I'll leave you two _lovebirds_ alone, shall I?" James said, not even attempting to mask his sarcasm. He touched Bella's shoulder, and whispered, "I'll talk to _you_ later." The innuendo he managed to squeeze into those five words stuck in my craw.

I growled at him, conveying that Bella was mine and I was not to be fucked with. I didn't care what the hell Carlisle said about being a team and my neck being on the line; if James laid even one finger on Bella, I would break it off... gladly.

She stood quickly and skipped over to me. "What's the mat-" she cut herself off. "God, Edward, how much have you had to drink?"

I shook my head. "Doesn't matter. What matters is you going off into a fucking secluded area with a man who wants nothing more than to devour you."

"Edward, please," Bella snapped. "We were talking that's all."

"Bella, don't be so fucking naive."

"Naive?" She raised her eyebrow. "You think I'm naive?" She stepped back from me. "I'll show you who's naive," she murmured. "Fuck you, Edward!" she spat.

I reached out for her arm just before she disappeared. "Bella, wait!"

"Why?"

"Because…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted like that."

She stopped.

"But I _could_ tell that he just wanted to bend you over."

"You read minds do you?" she hissed.

"No, of course not," I snapped back. "But I know the look in his eye and the tone in his voice. He's scum, Bella."

"And how would you know that, Edward?" she asked.

"Because I used to have the same look in my eye and the same tone in my voice; I used to be scum."

She humphed but didn't say anything else.

"Bella," I said, trying to infuse my voice with a calm that I didn't feel. I still wanted to go hunt James down and give him a blow-by-blow on what would happen should he come near Bella again. "I'm sorry. It's almost Christmas and this is supposed to be a party. Can we just forget it and have a good time?" Thinking of Christmas reminded me of the missing person in our little party of three. "Where's Phoebe?" I asked, knowing Bella wouldn't have just left her alone or with anyone she didn't know.

Bella gave a heavy sigh, turned on the spot and walked off without another word. I could tell by the set of her jaw and her heavy breathing that she was mad. No, she was more than mad; she was pissed off.

She grabbed something off a small plastic table beside the banana lounge and began to stalk off. I followed her instinctively.

"Bella? What the fuck is wrong?" I demanded when she refused to acknowledge me behind her as she walked toward the house.

She whirled on me. "I really shouldn't have to explain it to you!"

I laughed disbelievingly. "Didn't we just fucking work out that I'm not actually able to read minds?"

She sighed. "It's nothing." She turned and started walking again.

"No, fuck that, I know it's not nothing. Spill!"

When she turned back to me, I was shocked to see tears in her eyes.

"I came here to support you today, because I wanted to show that we are a family. That we are strong."

"Yeah, and I appreciate that, babe," I whispered, pulling her into me.

She let loose a sob. "I've barely seen you all day. I don't know anyone here. I put Phoebe to bed in the main house, on Esme's insistence, and then I was alone. I couldn't see you in the throng of people who surrounded you. Then you accuse me of trying to run off or something with the one person who actually made the effort to come over and talk to me while the rest of you boys were doing whatever the fuck it was you were doing."

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

"A little support and some trust."

I had to make her see that I trusted her - it was the snake in the grass James I didn't trust. "Baby, do you know that when I was..." I didn't think bringing up a reminder of my past would be the wisest thing at that moment. "Well _before,_ I didn't give a shit who someone came to a party with? Only who they left with." Which was usually me.

"What's your point?" she asked, growing angry again.

I knew I had to be careful stepping around the minefield she was slowly laying out. If I didn't catch shit for the James thing, then it would be for leaving her alone. If I managed to side-step that devastation, it would be my past that would blow up in my face. But I could see those things coming - what would really set me on my ass were the bombs I didn't expect.

"I love you and you're mine."

"Yours?" she repeated, rolling it around on her tongue. "Like a piece of furniture? To be paraded around and then dumped when it suits you?" She pushed away from me.

_Damn! _"You know I don't think of you like that," I growled. "You and Phoebe are everything to me."

"Whatever," she muttered turning away again.

_Fuck it!_ "No, not whatever!" I exclaimed. I grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly into me. I kissed her hard, pushing my tongue against her lips and demanding entry. She stiffened at first, her hands pressing against my chest to push me off, but after a beat her body responded as I had known it would. She relaxed into me, and her own tongue snaked forward to meet mine.

We moaned with desire in unison. It had been too long. Far too long. My hair trigger was back in force, and my dick was pressing hard against her thigh, with only the material of my board-shorts separating us. She hitched her thighs around my waist, and I supported her weight with my hands. I staggered forward with her until we hit the house. I pressed against her, my head swimming from the heady combination of Bella and alcohol.

She hummed against my mouth before kissing my neck. Even without her touching me, I was just about ready to drop my load.

"Fuck I want you...so badly," I whispered to her.

"Me too," she sighed. "It's usually right about now that Phoebe interrupts us."

I grinned wickedly. "Good thing she's inside the house fast asleep, right?" I winked at her.

She smiled slyly. "Good thing," she agreed.

She brought my lips back to hers with her hand, before dropping it down to gently rub the tip of my cock through my shorts.

I grunted at the feel of her touch. _Fuck me._ I heard someone come up behind me.

"Well, I guess it isn't a Cullen Racing party unless Edward Masen is grinding into someone pinned against the house," one of the promoters laughed on his way past.

_Fuck me! _I thought. That fucking prick, and just when I'd gotten Bella back onside. I turned back towards her, but she was blushing bright red, and I knew it was over. She untangled herself from me and then set about adjusting her sarong to cover herself back up. _Fuck me!_

"I'm going to check on Phoebe," she whispered before running for the door.

I growled to the empty night. I was alone, pissed off, and had a raging boner to contend with. _Fuck my life._

**

* * *

**

A/N:- Terms for the uninitiated:

**WAG's - Wives and Girlfriends. A term that we Aussie's have stolen from the British press. It originally applied to the partners of soccer players (or 'football' if you are from that neck of the words I guess). **

**Pure Blonde - 'Low Carb' beer **

**Spares - Spare Parts counter. Where all the car parts (brake pads, spark plugs etc) are kept.**

**From last chapter: Mini is a BMW Mini Cooper. They race in their own series: http:/www(dot)mini(dot)?PageID=27379**

**Thanks everyone for sticking with me & being supportive despite the semi-long wait times. I have a BPOV scene almost complete for everyone that reviews :)**


	5. Not so Silent Night

**Chapter 5: Not So Silent Night**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

* * *

A couple of days before Christmas, Bella, Phoebe, and I were all on a flight bound for Brisbane. Alice had dropped us off at the airport, surprisingly chipper for having had a five a.m. start. The flight was fairly easy. Phoebe was settled for the bulk of it, only crying during take-off and landing when the air pressure made her ears ache. It wasn't often they got little kids in first class so the hostesses lavished attention on her, providing her with colouring books, crayons, juice, and lollies.

There was one part of the trip I was absolutely not looking forward to, and that was pretty much everything that would happen after we landed. Despite a long and arduous hunt for accommodation, we were staying with Bella's parents; nothing else had been available at such short notice-at least nothing within our price range. I'd even rung Mum and begged her to let us stay at her house, but apparently she had leased it out fully furnished to a young couple and was using the rent money to fund her holiday, much to Dad's chagrin.

When we announced our trip, Bella's parents had given mixed reactions. Renee had practically screeched down the phone line to tell us how excited she was. Charlie on the other hand, had asked where we were staying, making it clear in his own way that we weren't actually welcome at his house; or at least that _I _wasn't. Regardless of Charlie's opinion, or my own, that was where we had to stay.

Once we'd landed in Brisbane, I arranged the hire car while Bella and Phoebe waited for our suitcase at the luggage carousel. I walked back to meet them, keys in hand, and caught Bella grinning widely. I hadn't realised exactly how much the trip had meant to her until that moment.

"Why the Cheshire grin?" I asked.

"I've never had a Christmas away from Mum and Dad," she explained. "I just can't imagine it. I was actually dreading being away this year."

Initially, I felt hurt that I couldn't be enough for her, but I did understand. I wanted to tell her that it got easier each year, but I knew I was full of shit, and the only way I had been able to get through the last two Christmases was with a lot of alcohol and a number of random women. Even then, I had still felt the pang of homesickness; I had just chosen to try to ignore it. Her words made me realise I never wanted to spend another Christmas alone and helped strengthen my resolve to follow through with the plans I had been making in the back of my mind.

Christmas Eve saw us rise early and head off to Ben and Angela's house to catch up with them. It was fucking fantastic to watch Bella fall back into an easy friendship with Angela. Ben and I snuck down to the 'man room' in his shed to spend some time catching up and have a couple of drinks, leaving the girls to gossip and watch the kids. I asked Ben about his job and spoke about my apprenticeship. I didn't talk about the Mini or James, deciding instead to leave my problems in Sydney where they belonged. The best part about catching up with the two of them was that it was less time I had to spend dealing with the awkwardness while staying at Bella's parent's house.

We spent a number of hours with Ben and Angela before finally saying farewell. We left with promises to keep in touch and offers to stay at their house the next time we were in town. We offered the same in response, but I think everyone silently knew-with the three kids screaming and giggling around our feet-that it would never happen.

I dropped Bella and Phoebe off at Jake's house so that they could catch up. I didn't hang around because I knew Bella had been missing Jake, and although I was a little more comfortable with the idea of their friendship, I couldn't deal with the twinge of pain at seeing her run to him or touch him in any way.

Besides, I had a few things of my own to sort out.

* * *

When Christmas morning dawned, I was almost as excited as Phoebe-almost because it would be impossible for any adult to be _that _excited without suffering a heart attack.

My own joy had little to do with my surroundings or the presents and everything to do with the fact that it was my first Christmas as a father. I was still coming to terms with it on one level, but on another, I just couldn't imagine my life ever returning to the way it was. My existence would be hollow and meaningless without Phoebe and Bella by my side. I had a hell of a lot to be thankful for.

Rosalie and Emmett came around early for the usual gift exchange. The moment they arrived on the doorstep I knew the day would be a fucking barrel of laughs. What was already an awkward situation-having to sit around and make pleasantries with a man who I knew without doubt hated me-was made even worse by the addition of a second man who would kick my ass if given the opportunity. I sucked it up though, for Bella and for Phoebe. They were the important ones.

The time came for the pre-lunch gift-giving. I knew all about Bella's family's tradition, I had even participated in it a few times when we were still in high school. They played an almost rotational game. One person would select a gift and read out the name on it. That person would open their gift and then select the next present before reading out the name on the card. It would continue in that vein until all the gifts had been opened.

Bella helped Phoebe out whenever it was her turn, which was often because Phoebe had been spoiled rotten by all and sundry. In addition to the few small items Bella and I had purchased, Rosalie and Emmett seemed to have brought her four or five gifts _each_, then there were the ones Ben and Angela had given us and the one Mum sent over from wherever the hell she currently was. Surprisingly, there was even a gift from Dad that he'd apparently mailed directly to Renee and Charlie. The only tense moment of the morning was when I had opened my present from Bella and had selected a present to hand out, only to realise it was for Charlie. I walked over to him and passed him the gift. He watched his hands, rather than me, as I read out the tag, no doubt mulling over everything that had happened between us lately.

After I'd finally managed to break her free from the pack, I led Bella through the streets to our meadow. I had everything I needed tucked safely away in the backpack I was carrying. I knew she wondered what we were doing, but I didn't want to ruin her Christmas surprise. I had spent a lot of time over the past months trying to figure out exactly what to get her, before I realised I already had the perfect gift. It was something I had purchased on a whim months before and had never forgotten about. In fact, I had to go to great efforts to ensure it remained hidden. When Carlisle had given me the plane tickets, I realised the timing, the location and everything else was almost too perfect.

It was almost twilight when the meadow finally came into view. The day had been so hot that after the short walk, a light sheen of sweat clung to our bodies. The sky was filled with heavy clouds, giving the promise of an evening shower to cool things down. My nerves were on edge, and my hand shook as it held Bella's.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Bella asked nervously.

My behaviour must have been concerning her. I shook my head. "Nothing's _wrong._"

"Then what is it?" she asked, chewing her bottom lip.

"I just wanted to spend a little time alone with you," I said. "Is that so wrong?"

"Of course not, I just...well you're acting a little strange."

I tried to laugh at her words but it came out sounding a little choked even to my own ears.

I turned to her. "Close your eyes," I whispered.

She obliged, and I quickly wrapped a blindfold around her eyes.

"Edward? What's-"

I cut her off with a kiss. Her mouth moved of its own accord against mine, needing no guidance from her sight. I stepped back when we both began to get a little breathless. Her lips were full and plump, begging to be kissed again. I turned away and quickly began setting things up for our 'date'. I laid out the picnic blanket and set up the tea-light candles. The dinner I had organised wasn't anything fancy-just leftovers from the massive Christmas spread that Renee had put on. As far as co-conspirators went, Renee was pretty perfect. She didn't ask why I needed the picnic dinner or the babysitter. Instead, she just packed a few of Bella's favourite foods away in her nicest Tupperware and began throwing together everything I would need. I knew she knew what I was planning, and she knew I knew, but we didn't mention it-each pretending we had the other fooled.

* * *

Once the picnic was all set up, I guided Bella to her place. I helped her to the ground before dropping the blindfold away from her eyes.

"Ta-da," I said, immensely proud of the feast for both the senses and the stomach I had laid out.

"Wow," she breathed before smiling widely. "What's this for?"

"It's your Christmas present," I said. "Some time alone, just the two of us. Unless you want me to leave of course - it is your present."

She laughed. "Oh, well in that case, you most definitely should..." She paused for a beat too long for my comfort. "Stay."

She leaned forward across the matt, kissing my lips softly before turning to the food. "Although, I really don't think I can eat another thing after the lunch Mum put on today."

I smiled, not upset in the least by the turn of events. If she wasn't hungry, it gave us more time to be alone together.

"I can fix that," I said, putting the lids back onto the containers and packing them into the backpack.

"You sure you don't mind," she asked. "You went to all this effort."

"The effort wasn't about the food, Bella," I said.

I hoped she didn't notice the fact that my voice wavered at the end. Even if I didn't care about the food, it meant that things were speeding hastily toward the part of the evening I was dreading and anticipating in equal measures.

She raised her eyebrow at me, obviously not missing the quiver in my voice. A small smile crossed her face as she watched me fumble with the last of the containers.

I turned back toward her-my hands now shaking in earnest. Bella wrapped her hands around mine, and I watched our intertwined fingers for a moment, trying to settle my stomach.

"There was something else," I whispered finally, not willing to meet her eyes for fear of turning chicken. I tried to continue, but the words stuck in my throat.

After a moment's silence, Bella released my hands. "What is it?"

"I have something else," I repeated. "For your Christmas present."

I reached my hand into my pocket. "Actually it's a selfish gift. Very selfish in fact."

Her brow furrowed in confusion.

I pulled a little bag from my pocket and shook out the contents. A few drops of rain started to fall, but I barely noticed them. It was time. It was perfect. It was happening.

My heart was pounding as I spoke. "I want you, Bella. I want only you, forever. Will you be mine, for Christmas-and for the rest of our lives?" I held out the diamond ring to her, glad I had purchased it when funds were less restrictive.

She stared at me and didn't breathe for the longest time. The rain was coming down heavier, but the night air was warm. Her eyes lingered on the ring for a moment, before moving to my face. She regarded me for a second before nodding. "Yes," she whispered.

I couldn't help my wide grin or my sigh of relief. I didn't know what to say, knowing nothing-not all the words in the world-could ever be as beautiful as the little affirmation she had just issued. I let my fingers do the talking instead. I closed my eyes and leant toward her, cupping her face softly with my hand and pulling her into me. I kissed her softly at first, becoming more hungry as the seconds passed.

She moaned against me in encouragement as my fingers found her hand and gently slid the ring onto her while keeping her lips busy. She didn't even glance at it before moving her hands into my hair to pull my mouth harder against hers.

It really had been too long, for both of us. I was ecstatic that she seemed to want me as much as I wanted her.

She hummed as she released my lips. Both of us were oblivious to the rain as it poured down and soaked through our clothes.

My hands caressed her arms before reaching for the buttons on her shirt. I made short work of them as I let my desire overtake reasoning and control. I pushed lightly against her, and she complied, falling back onto the blanket. My lips caressed the skin on her neck and collarbone as I helped her out of her shirt.

She arched her back as I slipped my hands around to unclasp her bra. I tossed it off to the side. The rain moistened her skin and raised small goosebumps over her breasts.

I sucked one of her nipples into my mouth and ran it softly between my teeth. I trailed my mouth lower as she ran her fingers through my now wet hair, pushing it back off my face. Her skin was flushed and warm with desire, but the rain cooled it as it landed. I worked on the button of her shorts, quickly pulling them off with a flourish. I didn't care that we were-for all intents and purposes-in a public place. I just knew I needed her and hadn't been able to taste her properly in the longest time. The sex we'd had in recent months was always rushed as we hurried to finish before Phoebe woke or so that we could get a precious few moments of sleep. Now that I had Bella alone, and we weren't due back for at least another two hours, I was going to enjoy every second with her-and every inch of her.

My tongue circled her belly-button before trailing small kisses along her stomach. I pressed my cheek against her thigh as I adjusted myself lower. I ran my nose along her inner-thigh and down to her knee, before tracing the same line back with my tongue.

She muttered indecipherably as she began to writhe in pleasure-the sound and movement heading straight through my body to my already hardened dick. It twitched against its material cage, begging to be released and allowed to return to its home between Bella's legs. It would have to wait though; I wanted to taste her first. I wanted her to scream my name as I kissed her deeply. I grazed my teeth lightly along her clit, and she moaned throatily. I planted a small kiss where my teeth had been seconds earlier, and her legs closed around my shoulders, wrapping me in heaven.

I ran my tongue up the length of one of her lips, circling around and running it down the other. Bella shuddered beneath me and clenched the blanket tightly in her fists.

I pulled back from her. "Bella," I whispered softly. "Can you show me how you fuck yourself?"

Her head rose off the blanket, a look of shock on her features. I wanted her to feel comfortable, but I also wanted to see her own fingers dance across her skin in the rain.

"Please," I said, before adding, "But only if you want to."

She regarded me for a minute, before nodding minutely and running her hand across her stomach and over the apex of her thigh. Her finger dipped to her pussy, and she ran it lightly across the surface. I dipped my head down and followed the trail of her finger, eliciting a sweet groan.

I raised my head up slightly and watched as her finger trailed back to her clit. I licked her fingertip where it met her sweet-spot. She pulled her hand back a little, permitting my tongue to take the lead, but I couldn't allow that. I held onto her hand and guided her fingers toward her entrance. I moaned in delight as I watched her digits move in and out fluidly. I sat back on my hunches to watch her pleasure herself. My cock was screaming at me to stop the madness already and bring him into the game, but I couldn't-at least not just yet.

I watched as a pink tinge ran up the length of Bella's body as she saw my eyes appraising her. Her hand stilled and her bottom lip was captured by her teeth.

I smiled at her, trying to make her see how fucking beautiful I thought she was. I reached out and grabbed her hand, pressing her fingers softly into my mouth and rolling my tongue around the tips. I replaced her fingers with my own, enjoying the warmth as they entered into her. She was so wet and ready. I moved my fingers in a slow circle, and Bella bucked her hips toward me. I leaned over her again and dipped my head to press my mouth against her skin again.

Her left hand grabbed my hair, pulling me even closer to her. I could feel the band of the ring there grazing against my skull and couldn't help smiling. She had agreed to be mine-I could think of nothing I wanted more in the world. The thought made me kiss her more deeply, wrapping my tongue around her clit until she cried out my name repeatedly in blissful elation.

As soon as her walls began to tighten around my fingers, I slid them out and stripped off my shorts. My cock crowed with delight as I positioned myself between Bella's thighs. Her legs wrapped around me and guided me home. I slammed into her again and again, harder and harder, as she came around me. The rain had eased off and was little more than a light mist when I twisted us around so that Bella could ride me.

She turned her face up to the sky and cried out in delight.

My hands caught her breasts as they danced in time to her rhythm. My fingers grazed her nipples as I tried desperately to stop myself from coming too soon and ruining the little time we had together. I bit my lip and moved my hands to her hips, pulling them tightly against mine to still her movements, relishing the feel of my full length extended within her. I pulled myself upright, keeping Bella in position, and she wrapped her legs around me, mirroring the action with her arms around my neck. I softly kissed her neck before allowing my lips to slowly graze a tender trail from her breast to her hair.

"I love you-soon to be Bella Masen," I whispered against the smooth column of her throat.

I silenced any argument she might have had to the name by pulling her hips against me, pushing my length deep into her.

Her response was a throaty groan, and I knew I couldn't last any longer. I pulled her hips roughly against me again, spilled my seed into her.

I wrapped her securely in my arms, desiring to be even closer to her, knowing all the while that I could never be close enough. I rested my cheek against her heart as I listened to it return to a steady beat while her fingertips brushed lightly through my hair.

We sat like that for an unknown time before she began to extract herself from our tangle. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back toward me. "I'm not finished with you yet," I growled softly.

She laughed and swatted my hand away playfully. I stood quickly before she could put too much distance between us and pulled her back into me.

"You think I'm joking?" I asked, before nipping her neck. I ran my hand along her thigh. "I am so not finished with you yet."

"Edward, we can't," she argued with zero conviction. "We have to get back."

"Why?" I asked, ducking down to suck one of her breasts into my mouth.

"Phoebe..." she started.

"Is with your Mum and is perfectly fine," I countered.

"Umm, Rose and Emmett..." she continued.

"Will still be there when we get back."

When I saw that she would be compliant through her debate, I released her. I ducked to pick up the blindfold that I had discarded earlier and wrapped it around her eyes before she realised what I was doing.

"Edward?" she questioned, obviously uncertain about the turn of events.

"Trust me," I whispered.

She nodded.

"We've had the main course," I told her. "Now it's time for dessert."

**

* * *

**

A/N: First off, I want to say thanks for sticking with me & for the messages of support.

**Secondly, I have entered the 80's movie contest. There are some great entries there go read, review & vote for your favourite. It's anon so I can't tell you which one is mine, but I will be posting it into my profile once the contest is over regardless of the result :) profile link ****http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~80smoviecontest**

**I should do some recs, it's been ages since I have done any. But I have been fail at reading so that I could get some chapters down. But I will recommend anything by my wifey CorrinaTff. Seriously, if you like teen fics, check out her fic "Smoking in The Boys Room". If you like angst check out, "For Everything there is a Reason". If you just like good writing & great prose, check them both out.**

**Check out mah hubs fic Quarter Mile Lovers if you like smut.**

**Guardian & Say Hello, Wave Goodbye are also great WIP reads.**

**Links to all are in my favs list :) **

**Follow me on twitter (at)mpg82 **

**As usual, I have a BPOV scene for this chapter for reviewers. I will be posting the reviewer scenes as I did with Chasing Victory, but they will remain a few chaps behind.**

**And if you are having problems picturing RCE (I definitely don't) check him out here:- http:/yfrog(dot)com/493hpj **


	6. A blessing and a curse

**Chapter 6: A Blessing and a curse **

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

* * *

I lifted my head off Bella's chest, surveying the scene, before freeing one hand from its hold around her and lightly brushing the remnants of crushed strawberries out of her hair. I grabbed the blindfold that had recently been discarded and gently wiped the last few smears of chocolate sauce from her chest. I stared down at her, marvelling in her beauty. Her brown hair lay fanned out around her face, and her eyes were loosely shut as she rested. Goosebumps littered her body as the night air cooled her skin. She was stunning, but most importantly she had agreed to be mine.

I smiled as I thought back on the evening we'd shared. If someone had asked me what my favourite dessert was when I was younger, I probably would have said pavlova or maybe cheesecake. But after my evening with Bella, a new favourite topped the list. Who would have thought that simple strawberries with chocolate dipping sauce could be quite so...appetising? Even then, though wholly and completely satiated, the thought of her plump lips closing around the red flesh of the berry as her teeth broke through the skin made me hard. I imagined her tongue darting out to catch the juices or lick a little of the chocolate that had dripped onto her lips and groaned.

I couldn't believe my luck. Not only was she stunningly beautiful, and wholly in love with me, she was a willing participant in all things I introduced to her. Like the blindfold. Knowing she couldn't see me as I moved around her, touching and caressing her, was surreal. She made new noises that I'd never heard before. By the end, I'd had her gasping for breath as she came hard. I wondered if I kissed her whether she would still taste of the strawberries.

I trailed my eyes down the length of her body, lifting myself up further, so that I was kneeling above her. My attention roamed around the soft peaks and valleys of her body before landing on the ring that had adorned her left hand for a little less than two hours, but would stay there forever.

"What're you smiling at?" Bella asked sweetly. Her voice startled me; I had thought she was dozing. I looked back at her face, but her eyes were still shut.

I leaned into her neck, kissing it softly, and murmured, "How do you know I'm smiling?" I closed my own eyes as I renewed my ministrations on her skin.

"I always know when you are smiling," she said simply. "It's my job."

"Hmmm," I mused. "Is it your job just to know-or to put a smile there?"

"Both." She grinned.

"I know a way you could make me smile wider," I said suggestively. "And maybe yours too."

She remained silent, but her hips rolled a little in my direction, telling me to go for gold. I nudged her thighs a little wider with my knee before sliding straight into her. I knew I needed to get my fill of her before heading back to her family and eventually to real life. At least I could do that absolutely secure in the knowledge that she was mine.

I thrust deep into her. I wanted something more than just sex-more than fucking. I wanted to commune to her all the joy I felt from her 'yes'. If it meant I had to give her a third orgasm in as many hours, well...that was a price I was more than willing to pay. I stared into her eyes as I took her over the edge and back into oblivion.

Eventually, we untangled ourselves and pulled on our clothes. They were wet from the rain and the night air was cooler, so it was going to be a very uncomfortable walk back to her parent's house. Entering looking like we did was not going to be any picnic either, but it was worth it for the 'yes' and our time alone.

As we walked, I thought about the previous day-of the third degree I had received from Renee and Charlie when I'd arrived back at their house without Bella. After I'd dropped her and Phoebe off with Jake, I'd driven to her parent's house to arrange a few things. Like the ring-which I'd had to dig out of a hidden pocket in the bottom of my suitcase.

I had pulled Renee aside and asked her to arrange a small picnic for Bella and me.

"What for?" she asked, with a glint of suspicion in her eyes.

"Nothing," I said, trying to stop the knowing smile crossing my face. "I just thought Bella would like a little bit of time alone as her Christmas present."

"Sure, sure." She winked at me, and I chucked. "I'll get it organised," she promised.

I thanked her and then retreated to the room I was calling home for the trip. I sat on the bed, twirling the ring in my fingers, gazing at it vaguely while my mind alternated between nervousness and elation. Since I had decided that this was going to be my gift to Bella, I had not doubted my decision once-just her response. Would she really want to marry a fuck-up like me? Yes, she'd accepted me back into her life. She'd even gone so far as to move in with me. But marriage? That was a whole other step.

A knock on the door startled me and had me racing to hide the ring back in my pocket. "Come in," I squeaked.

"Is there something going on, Edward?" Charlie asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall just inside the door.

I shook my head quickly. "No-" I couldn't talk, my voice strained. I stopped and cleared my throat before continuing. "There's nothing going on. I just wanted to give Bella some space at Jake's."

"Bullshit."

I closed my eyes. "Why is that bullshit?"

"Because it is. You know it is, and I know it is. What're you up to?"

"I just want to make our first Christmas as a family special. What's so wrong with that?" I asked, feeling my hackles rising by the second.

"It depends on exactly what you are planning on doing to make it special."

I sighed. "You liked me once," I murmured. "Remember how much easier it was then."

He raised his eyebrow. "And then you hurt my baby. I won't allow it again."

"I'm not going to hurt her. I'm never leaving her again. The only reason we'll ever be apart is if she leaves me, and even then I'll fight tooth and nail for her."

"You know she could break your heart-the way that you broke hers."

I winced, although I couldn't say whether it was over the idea of Bella leaving or the thought of her pain.

He narrowed his eyes at me, obviously not missing the small gesture. His face softened slightly in response. Not that he'd ever admit it.

I decided my shoes were very interesting, turning my head in that direction. I didn't really want to be having this conversation with Killer Charlie. Not now-not ever.

He cleared his throat to draw my attention back to his face. Once he knew he had my full attention, he said, "Just promise me that you are looking after my daughter and grand-daughter."

I nodded.

"And that you aren't going to do anything stupid."

"Like?" I gulped.

"Like rush into marriage."

I choked. "I'm not going to promise that."

"Thought so," he said.

I sighed, growing confused. "You thought what exactly?"

"Are you going to ask Bella-"

I cut him off. "I don't see how that's your concern."

He scoffed. "No matter how old she gets, or what happens, she will always be my concern." He eyed me off for a second before starting again. "You know, traditionally men asked their prospective father-in-laws for permission before asking a woman for her hand in marriage."

"Why would I give a fuck what's done 'traditionally'?" I asked.

"Because it's a way of showing respect."

"You've got to give respect to earn it," I told him. He looked as though he was ready to smack my face; I almost dared him to.

"Maybe you should follow that advice yourself, smart-mouth," he muttered.

"Besides," I continued quickly. "What about some respect for the one person who has suffered the most at _both_ our hands? How about Bella being given the opportunity to decide what she does and doesn't want?"

He blinked and all the anger dissolved from his features. He stared at me blankly for a minute.

I went in for the kill. "I am not going to ask for your permission; I am going to ask for hers. I'm not even going to ask for your blessing, because quite frankly if you love your daughter you will honour _her _choice."

He swallowed. "But will you?" he asked, quirking his eyebrow.

"Always," I replied without a hint of doubt or deception.

* * *

Bella tightened her grip on my hand as we neared the house. She turned to me and shot me a quick smile. I beamed in response. I had never been happier. Not only was I completely satiated, at least for the moment, but we were about to give her family the wonderful news. I wasn't sure how it would go over for everyone else. I knew Charlie wouldn't be happy, but screw him.

We walked past the front window, but the curtains were drawn, so I couldn't see what everyone was doing. There was a lot of noise and laughter coming from inside.

"I don't want to hear that about the father of my grandchild!" Renee shrieked with laughter.

I froze, wondering who had said what about me. Bella coaxed me forward gently with a tug of my hand.

"Well, you asked." Rosalie's laughter joined the mix.

"I didn't mean I needed all the intimate details of my son's sex life. There are some things a mother just doesn't need to know."

It was Bella's turn to freeze. Her mind was obviously five steps ahead of mine. While I struggled to catch up with the conversation, she quickly turned, pulling me back down the drive and away from the house. Once we were a short distance away from the house, she shook her head in disbelief before smiling at me. She glanced down at her ring, twisting it in a circle around her finger, and then she shook her head again, before finally settling on chewing the inside of her lip.

"What is it?" I asked.

"We can't tell them," she murmured, looking up the drive. "At least, not tonight."

I looked up at the house then back at Bella. Then back at the house. "What? Why not?"

"Rosalie's pregnant," she said, as if it was obvious. A big grin crossing her features again.

"And?"

"And I'm not going to take away from her news."

I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion. "So?"

"Edward, her and Em have been trying for... well for forever. If it's worked. It's... wow... it's...great. I'm not going to take any of her joy away from her. Not tonight."

I looked back up toward the house again. "But how is us announcing our engagement going to take away from her news?"

Bella sighed in exasperation. "It just will."

"I think your parents know anyway," I coaxed. "Or at least your mum suspects, and your dad is dreading that it might be the case."

"Let them speculate," she said. "Just for tonight?" She slid the ring off her finger and slipped it into my pocket. "Please? For me?"

I closed my eyes so she wouldn't see the hurt there. I tried to tell myself it was just a ring, just a symbol. She wasn't telling me no-she'd already said yes-but part of me felt like she'd just ripped out my heart and handed it back to me, before it had stopped beating. "Fine. If that's what you want," I muttered.

"Thank you," she said, placing her hands on my face and gently stroking my cheek. "For everything." She planted a light kiss on my cheek. "Today was perfect."

I nodded, unwilling to try to get any words past the lump in my throat.

Bella led us back to the house, planting another quick kiss on my cheek before unlocking the door and walking into what could only be describe as a shit-storm of estrogen. Renee screamed as we walked in. "It's finally happened," she said. "My baby boy is giving me more grandbabies!"

"Congratulations, Rosie," Bella said. I stood back and ignored everything. At least until I saw Renee's eyes fall to Bella's left hand, taking in its bareness, then to my face. Disappointment crossed her features, but after taking in whatever emotion was currently on my face, it turned to pity. She obviously thought I'd asked and been turned down.

Worse than the look of pity on Renee's face, was the smug look of derision on Charlie's. I wanted to rip the ring from my pocket and force it on Bella's finger. The next time it went on, I would make sure it was forever.

"Congrats, guys," I said to distract myself from my own horrid thoughts. I waited for what felt like the appropriate length of time, listening to bizarre conversations before whispering to Bella, "I'm heading for a shower."

She nodded. "I'll go next," she said, before starting up a conversation with Rose about weeks or due date or some shit that I did not want to hear about.

I grabbed a change of clothes and gently stepped around the trundle which held Phoebe's sleeping form safe. I showered quickly, and then headed straight back to the bedroom. I couldn't listen to anymore. The last thing I did before going to sleep was to lay Bella's ring on her bedside table. She would put it back on in the morning. I was sure of it. _Wouldn't she?_

* * *

When I woke, it was dark and a strange sound filled the air. I took a second to shake the sleep from my head. I realised the noise was a soft sobbing. I turned over and felt Bella shaking slightly beside me.

"Hey, what is it?" I whispered.

She shook her head and nestled into me.

I brushed her hair with my hand and held her against me. "Please, tell me."

"It's just seeing how well Mum and Dad took Em and Rosie's news." She sobbed. "I never had that. I mean, they came around of course, but their first reaction was anger and disappointment. I guess I just feel... I don't know. It just makes me sad."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." I felt like I was always apologising for leaving her, but I would apologise every day for the rest of forever if that was what it took. "But do you know I'm not sorry it happened? I can't image my life without her."

Bella nodded. "I sound stupid, don't I?"

"Only as stupid as me telling you I didn't like you giving your ring back to me tonight."

"I'm sorry," she sobbed harder. "I didn't mean... I didn't know...I'm sorry."

I shushed her and held her tighter. "It's okay, baby," I whispered. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. Just like Rose and Em, and your parents for that matter, didn't mean to hurt you."

She nodded against me.

"Sleep now," I told her softly.

"Edward?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't like the feeling of it being off either." She pressed her hand against mine, and I could feel the band from her engagement ring. "Thanks for leaving it out for me."

I hummed.

"Can we tell them in the morning?" she asked.

I smiled. "I'd like that."

"Me too," she murmured sleepily.

* * *

The next morning was interesting. Bella and I were up with Phoebe early-too fucking early after the night we'd had. We stumbled sleepily from the bedroom while Phoebe bounced down the hallway. I slipped my hand onto her bum and gave it a gentle squeeze. She slapped my shoulder. I captured her hand and kissed it gently. I slipped off to the toilet, while Bella led Phoebe off to the kitchen for some breakfast.

I heard the squealing all the way in the bathroom and buried my head in my hands. Honestly, how many times could those chicks squeal over a baby? I briefly debated going back to hide in the bedroom until it was time to leave for the airport. But then I remembered Bella's sleepy promise the night before and practically skipped down the hallway.

I was immediately wrapped into a huge hug by Renee. "It's about time you joined the family properly."

"Thanks for the support," I said. "I have a feeling we might need it."

"Don't worry about Charlie. He'll be fine. Trust me… he just wants what is best for Bella."

"That's all I want too."

She smiled. "See, you do see eye to eye on something."

I chuckled. "I guess so."

"So," Renee started, turning back towards Bella. "When's the wedding?"

Bella buried her head in her hands and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "Oh, God."

I walked over to her before wrapping my arms around her waist and lifting her slightly so that I could plant a row of kisses along her neck. "What's the matter?" I asked.

She turned back towards me. "We have to have a wedding." She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

I laughed. "Isn't that every little girl's dream?"

"You knew me as a little girl, Edward," she said, rolling her eyes. "When did I _ever_ indicate that was my dream?"

I could think of only one time she'd mentioned marriage, and that was the dream that had sent me running the first time around. I didn't think she'd appreciate me raising _that_ as an argument-or ever again. I knew that if I could have Bella beside me forever, without all the white wedding bullshit, I had no complaints. "That's fine, a quickie down at the courthouse suits me." I chuckled.

She smiled at me. "Sounds perfect."

"Don't you dare," Renee hissed.

Bella rolled her eyes again, and I stifled a chuckle.

"You can't take that away from your father, Bella. You know he's been chomping at the bit to walk you down the aisle."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. I knew the last thing Charlie wanted was to walk Bella down the aisle and hand her off to me.

I pulled Bella into me, kissing her cheek softly. "You get what you want-don't worry about anyone else." I was already planning just how quickly we could get married and get all the nonsense over with. A month and a day and then she'd be mine.

She nodded and turned her face to kiss my lips. "Thank you; but she's right. We should to do this properly."

I sighed but didn't argue. I couldn't because Killer Charlie seemed to take that as his cue to enter. "Do what properly, pumpkin?" he said lazily, from somewhere behind me.

I watched Bella's face carefully. She flinched a little as he spoke, and I realised this wasn't going to be pretty. I didn't want Bella to have to say anything she would regret later, so I decided to man up and take the pressure off her.

"Our wedding," I said boldly, turning to face him. I was glad that neither Bella nor Renee could see my face because it gave me the opportunity to sneer at him just a little. I returned his smug smile from the previous night, more than willing to rub Bella's yes in his face.

He choked and his face turned pink, then red, then an odd shade of purple. His eyes shot to Renee.

"But I thought-" he started.

He was obviously cut off by a look on her face or something, because he stopped short. He stood, mouth gaping, between Bella and Renee, not even sparing another glance in my direction.

I took this as my opportunity to score some Bella brownie points. "I'm sorry I didn't get to ask your permission first, but the decision was made so quickly. I guess I will just have to ask for your blessing instead."

He finally looked at me-although glared might be a better word. I didn't doubt that murder was crossing his mind at that point in time. Bella, misinterpreting his glower as an objection to our plans, walked closer to me and wrapped her hands around my arm.

"It's what I want, Daddy," she said. I could hear the defiance in her voice. "He's all that I ever wanted. You know that. Please, can you just be happy for us?"

Renee, who'd obviously seen the anger coming, sat a plate of food down on the table for Charlie at that exact second. He regarded it for a moment before deciding that Bella and I could wait.

He chewed his food and seemed to be deep in thought before he finally spoke-when he did he drew each word out. "I'll support you," he said. "I'll even give you my blessing." He shot me a dark look. "I'll walk the prettiest bride in the world down the aisle. But I _don't_ have to like the person at the end."

"Dad!" Bella exclaimed.

"Fine by me," I said at the exact same time.

"That's settled then," he grumbled. "Now can I enjoy my last day with my granddaughter before you steal her back to Sydney?"

**

* * *

**

A/N:- I hope y'all get this update (and in a reasonable timeframe) I know FFn has had its moments today (although strangely, it's been good every time I'm gone on *knocks on wood*)

**One of my fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2) has an upcoming b'day. Happy Birthday bb. I would dedicate this chap to you, but you know that you are the muse for the original story anyway so the whole thing is dedicated to you.**

**Lastly, I will have a POV scene for reviewers of this chapter. It's Renee *grins*. **


	7. What's in a Date

__

**Chapter 7: What's in a date **

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). Thank you for helping me through my music-induced insanity this last little while ;)_

_

* * *

_

Before we left Brisbane, we'd settled on a wedding date-the 17th of July. I knew that there was usually a decent break in the racing schedule around that time allowing us the opportunity to have a break for our honeymoon-even if it ended up being nothing more than a week in a caravan at Newcastle.

The fact that we had set a date, and that Bella and Renee had already launched into planning some aspects of the wedding, sent my stomach spiralling in sickening swirls. A small part of me began strapping on the running shoes while whispering about not wanting to be tied down. In response, I steadfastly ignored my stomach and set the goons onto the voice before it could get out of hand. I knew it was just old habits and old fears coming back to haunt me. I also knew it was something I'd have to discuss with Dr Laurent. I couldn't leave Bella again-it would hurt us both too much. I knew it, even if I couldn't stop the voice completely.

After arriving back home we knew one of our first tasks would be to tell everyone about our upcoming wedding. We'd debated how best to share the news, talking over our options the entire flight home. Bella wasn't sure she wanted a fuss made about our engagement, whereas I wanted to shout it from the mountaintops-if only to quieten that voice. As it turned out, telling everyone had involved informing Alice and leaving the rest up to nature.

Telling Alice hadn't been difficult-it hadn't even required any words. She'd come over for lunch the day after our return from Brisbane. Jasper came over with her and timidly hid behind Alice when she'd knocked on the door. She'd taken one look at Bella before pouncing on her, creating a screaming pile of girl. "You're getting married!" was about the only thing I could make out in the unintelligible ramblings between them.

Jasper had smiled at me before shaking his head. "You _want _to make my life difficult, don't you?" he asked.

I grinned at him. "Man, the heart wants what the heart wants. I want her-all of her-now and forever."

"Aw," Alice gushed. "Look at our little Squirt, he's all grown up and in a mature relationship." She looked back at Jasper. "Why haven't you asked me to marry you yet?" She slapped his chest lightly.

Jasper raised his eyebrow in an 'I told you so, why do you hate me' kind of way, and I couldn't help laughing. I shrugged and decided to make his life even harder. "And that's not all the happy news," I said. "Bella's sister is having a baby."

"Aw," Alice sighed. "A baby too." Her eyes developed a far-away, glossy kind of look, and I could just picture the visions of the future she was seeing. No doubt, she was picturing a brood of blonde and brunette children. Mini-Jasper and Alices. God help us all.

She grabbed Bella's hand and led her to the kitchen with a never-ending stream of questions about the engagement, the proposal, the wedding, and the baby running from her mouth.

"Seriously man, congrats," Jasper said, shaking my hand.

I shrugged. "I had to man up and do it sooner or later. The timing just worked."

It was less than half an hour later that Carlisle rang to offer his congratulations in the first of a raft of calls. Within two hours, it seemed the whole team knew about it and were calling my mobile to congratulate us.

* * *

Although the Christmas break had been fantastic, more than that really, reality came crashing back down on us-hard and fast. Rather than simply enjoying our post-engagement high, Bella had requested that we double our couples counselling appointments. I wanted to roll my eyes at her when she made the suggestion, but then she'd quickly backed it up by saying that she wanted to make sure everything was on the table before we took the final plunge so that we could enter married life unencumbered by the shit of our past. I couldn't say I blamed her for wanting that. She'd agreed that we would scale our appointments right back after the wedding if I went along with it. That was the reason I spent three afternoons a week with Dr Laurent from the time we'd arrived back in Sydney-one alone and two with Bella.

We never talked about the future during our joint sessions, and we very rarely talked about the past. It was only when something was said that hit one of our 'hot buttons' that we would discuss anything other than our day-to-day lives. We went over what happened during the few days between our visits, talking about our high points and our low points. Bella had blushed scarlet when I'd listed her giving me a midnight blowjob as a high point in one session, but Dr Laurent hadn't even blinked. I often spent the sessions wondering why we were paying to see someone to do what we could do at home for free. I'd blown up about it during one of my private sessions.

"Edward, you are the one who requested additional meetings," Dr Laurent responded calmly. "I just want to ensure that you have the space and tools to discuss your lives in a calm and rational manner. That will be the key to a successful, long-term marriage. If you wish to stop our sessions, just say the word."

"Bella wouldn't like that," I grumbled.

"Have you asked her?"

I stared at him blankly.

"Have you asked her how she feels about the sessions? Whether they are a benefit to her? Whether she feels they are a benefit to you both?"

I shook my head and crossed my arms.

"Talk to her about it."

"What's the point?" I said. "She was the one who wanted to double our meetings."

"The point is to communicate," he replied.

I harrumphed and crossed my arms tighter. He correctly interpreted it as a desire to change the subject.

"How's the Mini coming along?" he asked almost conversationally.

I groaned and buried my head in my hands. "Seriously Doc, why would you even bring that shit up?"

"Because I don't know if you see it as the positive that it is yet. I think one day you will see that it is a step in the right direction."

I rolled my eyes.

"I know you don't believe me. But trust me."

"It's a tin can on wheels," I snapped. "There are no positives in that. And before you say it-I know I know 'at least I'm racing again'." I mimicked his accent and pulled a face at him.

He chuckled. "You know Edward, if nothing else-you bring me amusement."

"If nothing else I bring you a pile of money you mean."

He was silent for a while, and I peeked out from between my fingers. He was smiling. "There's that too." He winked. I chuckled and shook my head.

We moved swiftly onto other topics. I had to hand it to the Doc; no matter how unorthodox he might have been, he could read my moods and respond accordingly. Overall, I felt better after each session.

* * *

A month after getting back to work, Carlisle posted the new racing season schedule on all the notice boards. My eyes quickly scanned the dates, and I sighed with relief when I realised our date gamble paid off perfectly. The Townsville 400 was on over the weekend of the 9th to 11th of July and then there was nothing else until the first of the enduro races in September. It gave us a few weeks to have a proper break, depending on what holidays Bella was able to wrangle off work.

I studied the schedule in more detail and my heart sank. It was different to the previous year. Very different. In the 2009 season, the Bahrain race was near the end. This year they had added Abu Dhabi and moved the two races offshore races to February. I wanted to scream and shout or kick something as I read the dates again. The first race was the weekend of Bella's university graduation.

I had promised her we would fly to Brisbane so that she could attend the ceremony and collect her diploma in person. I had planned on sitting proudly in the audience and watching her march in her graduation gown. Even though I hadn't been there for her during her time at uni, I knew she had worked hard. She had graduated with high distinctions on top of raising our daughter single-handedly. I would never be able to tell her how much I admired her for that-attending the ceremony was a way to start showing her.

I sighed, knowing that in the session that afternoon with Dr Laurent that list-those dates-would definitely be both my high and my low point of the day. I growled at the sheet of paper before turning and heading to find Liam to see what tasks I had on for the day.

"Sparky, you need to speak to Carlisle," Liam said when he saw me.

"Hi, to you too," I muttered.

He rolled his eyes. "Just get your ass up to Carlisle's office."

"Fine. Whatever." I really wasn't in the mood to argue, I just hoped that Carlisle wasn't going to pile more shit on me. I was already at my limit for the day.

I trudged myself up to his office, wondering whether he'd be upset if I asked to be excused from the Bahrain race. I knocked on his door and waited.

I heard a quick rustling of papers before his voice called out, "Enter."

I walked in and sat without waiting for further invitation. I remembered the last few times I'd been called into his office. It was hard to know whether to be anticipating or worrying about what was going to happen. "You wanted to see me?"

"Over the Christmas break, I was given some information about the new race season."

I nodded, thinking he was trying to tell me they weren't racing the Minis anymore. I thought I would feel relieved, but instead I felt...disappointed.

"They have changed the rules for the endurance races. Driver's have to race in their own cars." He paused and regarded me.

I nodded to show I was listening-intently.

"It means, of course, that we can't pair up two lead drivers."

"Why?" I asked, surprising myself at my outburst.

"Something about evening up the odds, trying to increase the number of cars in the field. A whole pile of reasons really, but regardless of why, it is happening."

"Okay."

"This means that I need to find another driver for each of the cars I am running in the races."

I tried to beat back the bubble of hope building rapidly in my chest. I really didn't want another disappointment like the one with the Mini.

"I was wondering whether you..."

I was nodding my agreement before he'd finished.

"Whether you know anyone who knows how to handle a car."

"What?" I asked, slumping down in my chair. I couldn't believe he would ask that.

He chuckled. "So you don't know anyone who would want to drive a V8 again, and who knows how to get around a track?"

"You mean other than me, right?" I snapped, pinching the bridge of my nose to try to calm myself.

"I never said that."

"Are you asking me?" I asked. "To drive?" I looked up at him.

"I'm asking whether you are interested in the opportunity to drive."

"You're shitting me?" I smiled.

"I most certainly am not shitting you," Carlisle said. "I am saying that there just might be an opportunity for you to hop back in a car for a few races at the end of the year-"

I cut him off. "What's the catch?"

He shrugged. "The usual...keep your nose clean. Keep yourself together. Any questions?"

"Just one," I said.

He raised his eyebrow at me.

"Can I drive with Jasper?"

He smiled. "I wouldn't dream of putting you in a car with James."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank fuck for that."

I practically skipped out of Carlisle's office once we were finished. I couldn't decide which was the greater high, knowing that the date Bella and I had picked for our wedding worked so well, or the fact that just after that I could well be climbing back into a V8. I spent the day working hard, knowing I needed to finish early to make my and Bella's appointment with Dr Laurent.

"Skipping off early again, huh, Masen?"

I rolled my eyes when I heard James' voice behind me as I was packing away the last of my tools. I didn't respond.

"I heard a rumour that you leave early often so you can go home and have a bit of afternoon delight with that chick of yours."

I clenched my fist but said nothing as I continued to pack up. He leaned against the wall that my toolbox rested against, and I could see him in my periphery.

"Of course, I don't blame you. God, if I had a chance I'd be all up in that again and again. I'd have her screaming my name so loudly. In fact, I would make sure I ruined her for all other men."

I dropped a spanner roughly into the box. I couldn't react. I knew I couldn't react. I needed to be Zen. I took a deep breath and returned to my stance of trying my damndest to ignore him.

"I can just imagine what her tight pussy would feel like," he said, groaning softly. "Wait... it is tight isn't it?"

A low growl escaped my chest-so much for my 'ignore him' policy.

"I just thought... well, she looks like she's too posh to push."

"Shut. Up." I growled.

"Of course," he continued, dropping his voice lower. "If her pussy _was_ too loose, I could always fuck her mouth. Her sweet little mouth...I bet she'd like me fucking it hard."

I spun toward him, my hand clenched into a tight fist. He anticipated my move and ducked out of the way seconds before I contacted. My fist slammed into the wall behind him. I cried out as it impacted.

"Uh, uh, Masen," he said, as he wiggled his finger in front of my face. "Careful now, wouldn't want to tarnish your reputation."

"Fuck you," I spat at him, shaking my hand in an attempt to relieve the pain.

"Temper, temper."

"You talk about Bella ever again, I'll show you temper," I warned. "If you talk _to _her, I'll fucking kill you."

He smirked.

"You wipe that smile off your face, or I'll fucking wipe it off for you," I threatened.

He held his hands up in surrender. "I just came to congratulate you on your engagement, man. I don't understand why you hate me so much."

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. What the hell was his game? "Just stay the fuck away from me and from Bella."

I turned to leave and almost ran straight into Carlisle. One look at his face told me he'd seen the end of the conversation-but not the beginning. _Fuck my life._

"Edward, can I have a word before you go?" His clipped tone told me it wasn't really a question.

"Mmm-hmmm," I squeezed out. I couldn't trust myself to say anything more than that. Not now-my mouth was liable to get me in even more trouble.

I listened silently to Carlisle's rant about how he was disappointed that I didn't keep up the improved attitude I'd demonstrated before Christmas. I nodded and said I'd try harder in all the right places. Of course, what I really wanted to say was that he needed to get rid of James because he was a trouble-maker, but I held my tongue...at least until I got to my appointment with Bella and Dr Laurent.

"That fucker!" I fumed before I'd even entered the room. "That motherfucking son of a bitch."

"Edward, what is it?" Bella asked, leaping up to rush over to me.

I sighed. Holding her in my arms helped to lessen some of my anger. I remembered my news about the date of the wedding, and of her graduation. "It's nothing," I said. I sighed and looked into her eyes, softly brushing my thumb along her cheek.

"No, Edward," Dr Laurent interrupted our moment. "It's not nothing. Something was clearly upsetting you and you should take this opportunity to share it with Bella."

I sighed. "It's really nothing," I said. "Just that motherfucker James." I felt Bella stiffen in my arms. I knew she still felt guilty over the Christmas party incident. But we'd discussed that a few times during our sessions, so I knew she wasn't to blame for the misunderstanding from her side. I just hoped she realised he wasn't as clean-cut and wholesome as he had appeared that night.

"What happened?" Dr Laurent knew all about my past with James, and everything that had happened since his start at Cullen Racing.

"He said some not very complimentary things about Bella," I said. "The fucker," I murmured under my breath. "He might have cost me my chance to get back into a V8."

Bella pulled back from me. "You might be back in a V8?"

I smiled slightly at her. "If I keep my nose clean."

"Wow, that's great news." She smiled.

"That bastard makes it awfully hard though," I said. "I just want to take his face and smash it into my toolbox sometimes."

I heard the Doc open his mouth, but I cut him off by raising my hand. "I know, I know, I need to work on my temper. That's what I pay you for though, right?"

Bella giggled softly.

"That's exactly what I needed to hear," I told her. "That makes my shit-ass day that much better." I leant in and kissed her lips softly.

We sat on the couch and I listened as Bella spilled about her day. Apparently, some new chick had started in her office. Some bird named Leah or something. Bella listed it as the low of her week, saying that she'd met the girl on her trip to London, and they didn't exactly hit it off. She gave me odd looks between staring at her hands for most of the conversation.

"What is it?" I asked.

I saw Dr Laurent nodding out of the corner of my eye. I could see this was what he was trying to get us to do-ask questions and communicate with one another.

"Actually, you know her," Bella muttered into her hands.

I shook my head. "I didn't meet anyone you worked with there-"

She cut me off. "At the bar."

I couldn't understand what she meant at first, but then I remembered. After nearly a week of waiting for Bella to call, I had nearly given up. Then she called but had hung up before I could speak to her. I waited in front of her hotel for nearly an entire day. Then, I had given up. I'd decided I needed to get my own needs serviced. I had gone to a bar and...

"Fuck, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't know you worked with her. I didn't even know her name."

A tear dropped from Bella's eyes, closely followed by another. "That's worse," she whispered. "You would have had sex with her...if I hadn't been there...wouldn't you?"

I ducked my head so that I wouldn't have to meet her eyes if she looked up at me. She knew the answer as well as I did. She knew my past. She knew everything about me. I had thought she had accepted it, but obviously being faced with such a sharp reminder of it must have bought the pain back.

"Yes," I whispered. "I would have."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her nod.

"I'm sorry," I said, turning to her and grabbing her hand softly. "I was an ass. I was a jerk. I know I will never be able to apologise enough for what I did when we weren't together, but I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me completely."

"I have," she murmured. "At least I thought I had...but seeing Leah today just sent my mind back to the place I was in while in London. I was so scared, and so angry, and I just didn't know what I wanted. I couldn't believe your reaction to Phoebe was so strong-or so negative."

I bobbed my head in shame, still unwilling to meet her eye. "It was just a shock. I should never have acted like that."

"No," she whispered. "You shouldn't have."

Those four words, and the pain that echoed in them, hurt me more deeply than almost anything else she had ever said. I bit my lip. I knew apologising again wouldn't do anything. "Thank you," I said instead. "For raising our daughter into the wonderful child she is now, despite all the odds you faced."

"I did what I had to."

I finally looked up to meet her eyes. "No, you didn't," I disagreed. "You went so far above 'what you had to'. You could have sat around on the single parent pension and not worked, but you didn't. You showed our daughter the value of hard work. You could have given up on your dreams and not gone to uni, God knows it would have been the easier path, but you didn't. You are the strongest person I know. When we were apart, I took the easy road. I turned to other substances and loose chicks to try to satisfy what I knew was missing. You were so much stronger than I ever could have been. And not only did you not give up on yourself the way I did, you raised another person. I am in awe of you." I reached out for her hand, and pulled it gently to my mouth. I kissed each finger softly.

She gasped as I finished. Dr Laurent applauded lightly. I turned to look at him. I had completely forgotten his presence.

"Edward, you were asking what the point is behind these meetings."

Bella glared at me, and I gave her my best "I'm innocent" look.

"This is the point," he declared. "You have taken the mundane, the everyday struggles, and used it to raise and discuss a bigger issue from your past without shouting and arguments. When you argue and fight, you need to try to find the reason for the argument, because it is rarely what you are actually fighting about."

I nodded. "There's more." I winced, knowing that I had to tell Bella some good, and some very bad, news.

"The break in the season is between the 12th of July and sometime in September."

I could see Bella practically bounce with excitement over the fact that our wedding date was free. She knew I would be there regardless, but she had been worried about Alice not being able to attend.

"But I'm going to Bahrain and Abu Dhabi in February."

She nodded, but then her features turned downward. "Do you mean that you won't be able to make it to my graduation?"

"I can ask for the time off, but it probably won't go down well. I want to do everything I can to ensure I'm in that car at the end of the year." I knew I sounded like an ass as soon as I said it. Once again, I was picking my career over her. "Fuck it, I'll tell Carlisle I can't go."

She shook her head. "You can't."

"I won't pick my career over you. Never again."

"It's not picking if I tell you to go."

"Baby-" I started, but was cut off.

"No. Don't baby me-you're going. I'll have Mum and Dad there, and I'll have Phoebe. I'll have them get lots of photos for you." She put her foot down.

I shook my head. "I really want to go to your graduation."

"I know you do, and that alone means the world to me," she said, smiling softly.

I stood, pulling her from the couch and straight into my arms.

"And _you_ mean the world to me."

She leaned her head into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her.

We talked a little bit more with Dr Laurent chipping in occasionally as needed. It was probably our best couple session ever, and I couldn't help the not-so-small amount of pride I felt, knowing that we got to that point ourselves. I had to hand it to him-the Doc was a fucking genius.

* * *

**A/N:- Sorry for the delay on this chapter. It's been a rough ride in the real world. The good news is that I have a number of future chapters written (bad news is not sequentially LOL) but that, combined with getting my exam out of the way next Tuesday should mean somewhat faster posting times for my stories. :) **

**I will have a BPOV scene for this chapter - it won't be as quick as the last lot though, because it's only partially written. **

**Thanks again to everyone who is sticking with this story 3 to you all.**


	8. History

**Chapter 8: History**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my fark-hawt every-lovely fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

* * *

I stared uselessly at the ceiling, just as I had for the past four hours, willing myself to sleep but failing miserably. Despite the progress Bella and I had made at Dr Laurent's earlier, I couldn't shake the guilt I felt over Leah or the anger I felt toward James. I shivered as dark memories invaded all of my senses. I had honestly fooled myself into thinking that had been the ideal lifestyle. I had been so certain that nothing in the world could satisfy me more than a quick screw with a complete stranger. I had been so utterly and completely wrong.

* * *

The beat of the music in the club called to me like a siren song. It pounded out a rhythm that would become my heartbeat for the night, eliminating the need to listen to my own. The intensity of the sound drowned out all need for thought. I was in my element. I stood to one side dancing-or perhaps bobbing was a more apt description-with a drink in one hand while I scoped out the local talent. I had already assessed the crowd and performed my quick analysis. I immediately ruled out thirteen girls based on the colour of their hair, three girls based on the number of layers they were wearing, four scary-looking girls for their potential STD risk, and six girls because there was just no way in hell I could go there. Of the remaining pool, I definitely had my eye on a few with a _lot_ of talent. Initially, I was going to go out into the room on a bit of a fishing expedition, but after a few minutes, I decided to bait the line and wait to see what came to me instead.

It was still early in the night. I was having a kick-ass time on my own, celebrating my win on the track, and my lead in the championship series. I thought about Jasper locked away somewhere with Alice and pitied the poor bastard. Who'd want to be stuck fucking the same woman every night? Especially when, like me, he could have had his pick of the pond.

I watched the girls closely, wanting to make sure whomever I took to my hotel room was ready, willing, and much more than able to do anything and everything I asked. I didn't want too much really. Just one-or maybe two-hot little fillies I could ride all night long. I licked my lips in anticipation before making my way back to the bar for a refill. I was already getting hard just thinking about the potential fun I could have. No ties meant no limits, no restrictions, and definitely no repeat performances.

As I ordered my drink, I nodded to James Blake, the driver for Volturi Racing. He was sitting at the bar licking his wounds, because although he was coming third in the championship behind Jasper and I, he had suffered a DNF in the second race of the Winton round earlier that day. I felt for him; I couldn't even begin to imagine what a DNF would feel like-the thought alone was soul crushing.

I decided to throw caution, and party politics, to the wind and have a few drinks with him. I knew it would cause a scandal and could almost see the headline, "Holden driver drinks with Ford driver." I smirked, knowing it wasn't quite that bad. But, other than a few drivers who had made the dreaded crossover, drivers tended to be either red or blue, through and through.

"Hey," I said. "Whatcha drinking?"

He grunted a response. I called the bartender over and ordered another round for the two of us.

"That was shit luck today," I said, offering him one of the drinks.

He regarded it for a second and then shrugged. "I've learned there's no such thing as luck on the track. You'll learn that in time too, kid. If something is wrong with the car-it's the mech's fault. Today, the stupid crew fucked me over, plain and simple."

"It's not like they could have anticipated brake failure," I said in defence of the nameless people who worked in his pits.

"Yeah, well, that's your opinion. Mine is that they fucked me over." He shrugged again and then said, "Fuck it, nothing I can't make up in the next few rounds."

"If you say so," I said. "I might have to stop those plans though."

"You can try," he snorted.

"Don't worry; I'll at least make sure I give you a run for your money."

"Yeah, kid, you sure got something magic when you're on the track."

I nodded my appreciation.

"What're you doing here anyway?" he asked. "It's not like you need to drown your sorrows."

As if to demonstrate his point, he knocked the rest of his drink back and called for another. He ordered a new one for me too, so I quickly drained my glass.

"I'm just looking for a good time," I said. "I've been wound so tight in getting ready for this race. I just really need to get some fucking relief."

"I hear ya," James said, raising his glass. "Maybe that's a better way to drown my sorrows."

"Well, it certainly never hurts," I laughed.

"That it doesn't, kid. That it doesn't." He looked around the room. "What's caught your eye so far?"

I shrugged. "There's a few around that are interesting."

He smirked. "What's your type?"

A flash of brown eyes and brown hair appeared in my mind for a split second before I tuned them out. "I don't really have a type. But I'm a tits and ass man, and tonight I think I just want an easy score."

"I hear ya, bro," he said, offering me a fist bump.

We spent a few minutes in silence, watching the girls in the room bump and grind against each other-ignoring any male presence. I noticed one pair sitting at one of the few tables around, shooting us regular glances and knew we had our target.

"Lock and load?" I asked.

"I got the blonde," he said as he stood.

I shook my head. "Nah, man, I don't do brunettes."

He gave me a strange look.

I shrugged. "I just...can't go there."

He shrugged. "Whatever. I guess a pussy is a pussy."

I laughed and followed his lead as he collected another round-beers this time-as well as two frilly, fruity-looking cocktails for the girls.

"They go wild for this shit," he whispered, before turning back to the bar. I turned away as he reached into his pocket for his wallet. He handed me one of the drinks and winked. "They'll be putty in our hands after this."

It was strange, but good, having a wingman again. Although Jasper had introduced me to the lifestyle, he'd quickly dumped me when he'd permanently hooked up with Alice. I still went out with them on occasion, but Alice was always against my choices, so I usually found it easier to go trawling the bars and clubs on my own.

"Ladies!" James schmoozed as soon as we were close enough for them to hear us. He grinned at the brunette and offered her a drink. She took it straight away and drank deeply from it.

The blonde looked at the fruity concoction but shook her head. "That,"-she inclined her head towards my beer-"is much more my style."

I grinned. "A girl after my own heart."

She chuckled as I passed her the beer. Her tongue pressed forward and circled the tip of bottleneck, before tipping it back and chugging it down.

I had to admit that I was more than slightly turned on watching her. I trailed my eyes down her neck and across her breasts, before she caught me looking. She smirked and placed the empty bottle on the table. I went back to the bar for two more beers, and James scowled at the still-full cocktail on the table-not that I could blame him that shit was expensive-but that was the risk in buying a drink for someone with unknown tastes.

I pushed one of the beers toward the blonde, trying to remember the name she'd given me when she'd introduced herself. Not that it mattered. By morning, she would be gone and her name forgotten, but in my experience chicks gave it up easier if they thought you were actually interested in who they were as a person.

The four of us sat talking for a little while, sharing laughs about nothing in particular. The good thing about hooking up in clubs was that the music was loud enough that it was impossible to carry on a conversation that consisted of anything more than one-liners and small talk. James pulled the brunette into him and started to rub her back and kiss her deeply. I couldn't help feeling a slight disgust in the pit of my stomach as I watched him run his hand through her long-chestnut locks. I sighed and shook my head, turning to the blonde instead to try to get all thoughts of brown hair out of my head.

The girls excused themselves to 'powder their noses' or some shit. As she stood, the brunette staggered, her legs like jelly beneath her. I acted instinctively, reaching out to stop her from falling. As soon as she was able to right herself, I let her go, dropping my hands quickly to my sides.

"I told you man," James said, indicating the drink in front of the brunette's seat and winking. "Putty."

He reached into his pocket and had his hand closed around something when he pulled it back out. He shifted slightly until he was in front of Blondie's drink, then he pushed his hand forward slightly, touching the top of her bottle.

I shot my hand out and grabbed his wrist.

"What _are _you doing?"

"Making putty." He smirked.

I yanked his hand around roughly and saw a small white tablet there.

"What the fuck?" I exclaimed.

"You wanted easy, I'm getting you easy."

"Fucking easy, man, not fucking drugged!"

He shrugged. "What's the difference?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I stared at him for a few seconds, waiting for him to laugh and tell me it was all some sick joke.

He sneered back at me. "What's wrong? Don't have the balls to go through with it?"

I blinked at him. "You're fucking nuts!"

"You're a fucking pussy!"

"Go!" I said, hoping my tone would tell him it wasn't a request. "Get the fuck out of here before I call the cops on your fucking ass and ruin your career."

He dropped the pill into the blonde's drink. "I'm not the one whose fingerprints are on not one but two drugged drinks."

"Fuck you!" I spat at him.

"I'd rather let the girls do that." He leaned back against his chair and smiled. "Speaking of which..."

The two girls emerged from the crowd in that instant. James yanked his hand back and lifted Blondie's drink, offering it to her. He watched me intently the entire time, glaring at me, as if daring me to stop her. Daring me to out him all the while knowing I would be fucked by association if I did.

I watched in horror as the chick raised the bottle to her mouth. I knew I couldn't let her drink, but I couldn't risk my career either. Which left me only one option. I stood quickly, pushing my chair back roughly as I did. Then I 'accidentally' smacked into the blonde, being sure to knock the drink from her hand.

"What the fuck?" she exclaimed as the cold drink spilled down her front, her nipples almost instantly puckering to attention.

"I apologise," James snarled, not sounding sorry in the least. "My friend is one clumsy, and stupid, motherfucker."

The blonde turned on me. "I've got nothing to change into you fucking prick!"

It wasn't quite a 'thank you for not letting this asshole drug and rape me'.

James stood and whispered something into her ear. She seemed thoughtful for a second before nodding. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder possessively and began to lead her back through the crowd. I had no doubt he was going to have his way with her-willing or no.

"Wait," I said. "Please, don't go with him."

She raised her eyebrow at me. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't?"

I looked down at the table, trying to think of anything that would stop her from leaving with him.

"What about your friend?" I said. "She doesn't look well."

She took a second to regard the scene. Luckily for me-and her- her brunette friend took the opportunity to open her mouth and hurled all over the table before slumping into a chair.

"Well, isn't this the fucking perfect evening?" Blondie exclaimed.

James looked at the brunette in disgust for a second. Then he glared at me. "Just bring her with us," he suggested. "The more the merrier. Or better yet, my _friend_ here can take care of her."

The blonde seemed to regard him for a second before sighing. "No, I'd better get her home."

"I'll organise a taxi," I offered. "I'll even pay for it-to make up for the shirt."

Blondie's face softened as she looked at me. "Sure," she said.

"But what am I supposed to do?" James snarled. "Your friend there got me all revved up, someone's got to take care of that."

"Why don't you?" the blonde said.

"Why, James," I said snidely. "I do believe the lady just told you to go fuck yourself."

As the blonde collected her friend from the table, James grabbed hold of my wrist. "You watch yourself, Masen. You'll get yours. When you least expect it...I'll be there. I'll make sure you fucking pay."

I laughed. "You don't scare me."

"Don't I?" he asked, raising his eyebrow. "You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"Oh, I think I have some idea, you sick fucker," I said, eyeing off the still-full drink on the table.

I pulled my arm away from him.

"Now fuck off, because I've got to help these girls into a taxi."

"You're a fool, Masen."

"I'd rather be a fool than a fuckwit," I quipped back at him as I helped Blondie juggle the brunette out of the club.

"Can your shirt wait?" I asked Blondie when we were out in the cool of the night.

"I don't know, why?" she responded. I could tell she was cold in her wet clothes. The July air was crisp and cool and her nipples might have been able to slice cold meats they were so hard and pointed.

I pulled my jacket off and offered it to her. "I didn't want to make a scene in there, but I think your buddy may have been drugged."

She gasped. "Why? By who?"

I closed my eyes. I could man up-and risk the consequences-or I could lie. I sighed. "I don't know-I just know the signs."

"Oh my God," Blondie exclaimed. She began to pace. "Oh fuck... what should I do?"

"Calm down," I whispered. "We'll get her to the hospital. They'll be able to make sure it's nothing serious. Then you'll be able to take her home, and she can sleep it off."

I helped them both into the taxi and asked the driver to take us to the hospital. Once there, I waited with the pair in Emergency. The brunette was practically paralytic, but kept stroking my cheek and telling me how beautiful she thought I was. At one point, I turned to say something to her, but her almost-black eyes looking out from her fringe of brown hair were just wrong, and the words stuck in my throat.

After she was seen and cleared, I helped the two of them into another taxi. By then the brunette was passed out cold and snoring loudly. I looked down on her face and was consumed by a sadness I didn't understand.

"Thank you," Blondie said. "For being so sweet back there. Most men probably would have just thanked their lucky stars and taken her home to fuck her."

I shook my head. "I couldn't do that," I said.

"Could you help me bring her upstairs?" Blondie asked, pointing to her house.

I nodded. Within half an hour, the brunette was firmly tucked up in bed, and I was firmly up inside Blondie. I used her, every part of her, to elicit my own sweet pleasure, and relished in her cries of ecstasy as I sucked on each of her hard nipples in turn. It was just fucking for fun and, although her body didn't make my own sing like only one other had before, I enjoyed my release into her.

It was only afterwards that I began to feel like an ass. Not for the screwing-I would have done that a hundred times over-but because although I may have saved those two girls from the night from hell, I couldn't help but wonder how many more would suffer at James' hand. I was all for a drunken fuck, but not without consent. The thought of going as far as drugging girls horrified me-especially considering I knew all too well how easily drugs could fuck up your life. At least that had been _my_ choice.

I crept out of the house early the next morning, unable to completely shake my feeling of guilt. I worried about the police turning up and accusing me. I worried about news of the night getting back to Carlisle, Alice or Jasper. I was the one who had been at the hospital with the girls-if someone made the connection, I stressed that they would be able to link it back to the club and to the glasses with my prints.

I made it back to my hotel room, quickly checked out and began my long drive back to Sydney with those concerns racing around in my mind.

I had to think of a way to make James pay. I had to make him realise that what he was doing wasn't fun or right without risking fucking up my own life. In the end, I decided I had nothing to lose-nothing James could take from me at least-so I told his boss, Aro, about the roofies. I didn't know what happened to him from there–I'd heard nothing about it in the media. He was still on the track, so Aro couldn't have fired him. He began to dangerously ride my ass on the track, and I knew he had developed a serious grudge against me.

Happily, I didn't see James out after that so I was largely able to put my concerns about him out of my mind.

* * *

Knowing what I had learned about Aro over the past six months, I had no doubt he had swept my accusations under the rug. He'd probably bought off other women over the years James had worked for him just so that it wouldn't leak to the press. I'd been stupid and naïve in thinking that Aro was like Carlisle and cared about things greater than his own team.

I knew that it was too late to share my knowledge with anyone else regardless of what James did to me at work. Too much time had passed. Too much of everything had passed. It would just look like sour grapes if I brought it up with Carlisle. It was why I had kept it hidden for so long; nothing could come from sharing my knowledge-nothing but more retribution and heartache.

I could take comfort in knowing that if it was still happening, Carlisle would not allow James to stay on the team. Above everything else, Carlisle had a prevailing sense of justice.

I shivered as the dark memory retreated into the back of my mind. I was grounded and would never go back.

"Cold?" Bella mumbled sleepily before sighing and cuddling into me.

I hummed in response, not wanting to wake her further.

She curled herself onto my chest with her hair splayed out over my arm.

I shifted my gaze from the ceiling and onto her angelic face. My heart expanded looking down over her. She and Phoebe looked so similar when they slept.

I watched as Bella chewed her lip slightly, not able to kick the habit, not even in her sleep. I captured her left hand with my right and interlocked our fingers. I still couldn't believe the joy I felt every time I felt the warm metal band and diamonds of her ring. It was a small reminder that she was mine. The thought made me smile, and I pulled her tighter into me, softly kissing her forehead while silently reaffirming everything I had previously promised her out-loud. I would never hurt her. I would never leave her. I couldn't imagine my life without her. It was the reason I had to keep her as far away from James as humanly possible. I had something I didn't have during our last encounter. I had something, everything, to lose.

* * *

**A/N:- Not much to say other than apologies for being so busy & not updating sooner. Thanks for sticking with me & supporting me. **

**I haven't written a POV reviewer scene for this yet. I hope to, but it just might be a few days before I get the chance to post it. **


	9. Yas, Dear

**Chapter 9: Yas, dear**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). Thank you for helping me through my music-induced insanity this last little while ;)_

* * *

"Hey you," Bella whispered.

I smiled as her voice carried over to me before turning toward her. My eyes practically bugged out of my head at the sight that greeted me. She stood beside a car, which barely earned a second glance. Although, even from a cursory inspection, I could tell it was a red 1969 Chevelle with full chrome accessories. It was a shit-hot car, but had nothing on the chick in front of it.

The saliva left my mouth as I watched her move. A vivid purple halter-neck bikini top held her breasts front and centre. The round curve of her cleavage was on display, begging me for attention. She twisted her hips slightly and the micro-mini skirt she wore rode up just a little. The bottom of her ass-cheeks and the lace of the boy-leg shorts wrapped around them were on show for the world to see. A pair of black thigh-high come-fuck-me boots encased her feet and most of her legs, hinting at the shapely calves within. A messy bun on the top of her head and avatar sunnies completed the look.

She was hot. Fucking hot. It was all I could do to root myself to the spot so that I didn't bend her over and fuck her immediately. I grew painfully hard at the sight of her. The slightest touch would have been more than enough to set me off.

I grinned goofily at Bella. "Hey yourself."

She hitched her leg up onto the car's chrome bumper. Usually I would have freaked at a car being disrespected in such a way, but I was too distracted by the way the lace of her panties ran across her thigh. I licked my lips hungrily.

"You wanna ride?" she asked, her voice laced with innuendo as her fingers traced along her thigh.

I nodded silently.

"Well, come inside then," she said, playing with the material that cut across her leg, before moving her deft fingers lower to the top of her boot.

I gulped and stepped closer to her. I took my time in examining the small patch of skin showing at the top of her legs. It may have been small, but it hinted at things that sent my body racing. I shivered with pleasure as I slid my hand along the outside of her thigh and pushed it up under her skirt. I hooked my finger into her panties and slowly peeled them off without removing any other item of clothing. I hoped she would fuck me all night long with those boots on. I pushed her forward over the bonnet of the car, her micro-mini unable to cover her ass or pussy any longer. I ran my fingers over the curve of her cheeks and lightly slapped one, earning a soft moan in response.

Bella stayed in the position I had placed her in while I stepped back to admire the view. The combination of fuck-hot car and even hotter chick had my boner raging and begging for attention. I closed my eyes and slid the zipper of my pants down. I wrapped my hands around my cock and pulled it free before pushing my hips forward. I ran my hand along my length, anxious to drive it into her.

I squirmed in the seat in anticipation. Then I realised something was wrong and began to panic. I was sitting but before I was standing. I opened my eyes and they met Bella's. She was staring at me through the windshield of the car. A low moan escaped from between her lips. Seconds later, her eyes rolled up in pleasure and she grunted as her pelvis pushed against the car, causing the whole thing to shake.

"More," she whispered. "Oh God, yes."

I was almost unable to turn away from the look of pleasure on her face, but when I did I saw James snarling at me from behind her as he rocked to the rhythm of her body. His hands clutched her hips tightly as he pounded into her relentlessly.

"No!" I screamed.

"Yes!" Bella cried in unison.

I tried to get out of the car, but I couldn't. I tugged on the door handle repeatedly. My heart beat like a drum, louder and louder. As it sped so did the rocking of the car. I tried the lock, but it wouldn't budge.

"Right there, oh, baby," Bella moaned. "Oh fuck yes. Oh, God."

I pulled at the door lock urgently. "No, Bella, don't..." I cried, body-slamming the door in a vain effort to get free. "Bella!"

* * *

"Bella!" I cried, sitting bolt upright.

I panted, the efforts of my nightmare leaving me breathless. I sighed and collapsed back onto the bed, relieved that it had just been a dream. I rolled over to pull Bella into me, to remind myself that she was mine, but she wasn't there. I rolled to the other side of the bed, panic building steadily within me. I was unable to find her or even a trace of her existence. I patted her side of the bed, but it was cold. Her smell didn't linger on the pillow the way I had come to expect.

Was everything that had happened just a dream? Would I find myself back in the arms of a different woman each night, seeking solace that I would never find? Nightmares and dreams were an ever present part of my life back then, but I'd mostly escaped them since being with Bella; although I didn't know that my insomnia would ever fully abate. Oh God, had I even been with her? I silently begged God, or whoever would listen, to not let it all be a dream. I needed her. I couldn't live in a world where I didn't have her.

I stumbled out of bed and hip-checked straight into an unfamiliar dresser—a loud clinking sound disturbed me. God, was I in some stranger's house even now? I shook my head to try to clear the fatigue, and I struggled to remember where I was. There were two empty Jack bottles resting on top of the dresser; things weren't looking good for me. Two bottles was pushing the limit—even for me. Although part of me reasoned that my head wasn't aching as badly as it would have had I drunk that much alone.

I fumbled along the wall to find a light switch, flicking it on as soon as my fingers touched the smooth panel. The room burst into sudden brightness; the generic look of it startling me a little. I sighed as memories of where I was came flooding back. I walked over to the window and looked out at the Yas nightscape. Fuck, I missed Bella. I'd only been away for a couple of days, but it was too long. I remembered that my crew, as well as Jasper and Alice, had come to my room last night to attack our duty-free supplies for a post first-race celebratory drink. We'd only had a few each in the end.

I sat on the end of the bed, trying to reconcile the time difference. It was early Sunday morning in Abu Dhabi, so I guessed it would be sometime on Sunday in Brisbane. The exact time didn't really matter though, what mattered was that I was an ass. I was in a foreign country, drinking with my work buddies at the exact time my future wife walked across the stage to get her diploma. I sucked. I had failed as a husband before I even became one.

I picked up the phone to dial her mother's number in Brisbane. I knew there was a risk I'd get Charlie or Emmett, but I didn't really care. I just needed to talk to Bella-especially after the nightmare I'd had.

"Hello?"

I breathed a sigh of relief when she was the one to answer.

"Hi," I said sheepishly. I wasn't sure if she'd be upset with me now that she'd actually gone through her graduation ceremony without me.

"Edward!" I could hear the genuine smile in her voice and it helped calm some of the worry I had felt.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"Congratulations," she said at the same time.

We both chuckled nervously.

"You first," I said.

"It was good. I think Phoebe got a little bored though. Mum ended up taking her out of the room to get her to quiet down."

My guilt ratcheted up another half-dozen notches. I should have been there for her. I should have been the one trying to calm Phoebe down. I couldn't help the thought that if I'd been there I would have miraculously settled Phoebe, and we both could have watched the most important person in our life cross the stage.

"I'm so-"

"Don't apologise, I understand. And from the looks of it, you kicked some butt out there."

I smiled at her attempt to cheer me up. "Anyone else could have done it."

"Your team placed first and fourth. That's great by anyone's standard."

I shrugged. It had been worth celebrating the night before, but faced with what I had missed, it seemed irrelevant. "First, second would have been better. Besides, it's not like I had any control over it."

She sighed. "Isn't it a team effort? If you hadn't completed the pit stops as quickly as you did, James would never have won."

"Well, isn't that fantastic..." I muttered. "I can change a wheel fast. Yay, me."

She laughed. "Are you going to be this moody after every race?"

"Probably," I contended. "But more at the moment, because I feel like a jackass for missing your graduation."

"We've been over that…I understand. From what I've been told, they have plenty of video of it. You'll be able to watch me falling flat on my face again and again."

I couldn't help chuckling before I bit my lip to stop myself. "You didn't."

She laughed loudly. "Oh, I most certainly did. Much to Jake's amusement. I didn't hear the end of it all night."

"Jake was there?" I don't know why, but that piece of information surprised me and pissed me off just a little too.

"Of course, you didn't think he was going to miss it after spending so much time studying did you?"

My gut twisted tightly on itself. Once a-fucking-gain Jake had been there when I couldn't. I just growled something noncommittal in response.

She stifled a laugh. "Are you jealous?"

"No!" I snapped too quickly.

"Edward, it was his graduation too. Even though he started before me, he deferred a couple of subjects and ended up finishing the same time as I did."

"Really?"

"Yes. God you worry about the strangest things sometimes." She laughed for a second, but then her voice turned serious. "I miss you."

I clutched the phone as I stood and leaned against the window, looking at the sky. Somewhere, many kilometres away, Bella was under the same sky. The thought comforted me a little. "I miss you too, so fucking much."

"It's only a little over a week. It won't be too bad," Bella said, but she sounded about as convinced about it as I was.

"It's fucking torture," I admitted. "I've barely been sleeping."

As if my words reminded her of the time difference, she asked, "What time is it there?"

"Fuck knows," I said. I didn't want to admit the actual time, because I knew she'd kick me off the phone and back into bed.

"Should you still be asleep?" she asked.

"Probably," I admitted. "But I can't sleep. I need you."

"You've managed without me before."

"Barely," I whispered. If only she knew just how hard I had to work to keep her out of my mind, to get through even one day without her. I couldn't expect her to ever really understand though. It was only after I stopped trying to do it that _I_ had realised it.

"So what's on the agenda for you for today?" she asked, clearly trying to change direction.

I sighed. "Just the usual shit. I have to be at the track in a few hours to help prep the car."

"You should probably get back to bed then," she murmured.

"I probably should," I agreed. "But I really don't want to. I'd rather keep talking to you."

"I know, me too. But I'd feel guilty if your performance suffered because you were up at all hours talking to me."

"I don't give a shit," I growled.

"You will if Carlisle sees the bill and realises what you were doing."

I knew she was right and relented.

After I'd hung up the phone, I kept my fingers pressed against it, wishing I could drag Bella through it to be with me. I stared at the bed for a few minutes but realised it was useless—I wasn't going to be getting any more sleep.

I flicked on the TV and scrolled through the channels, but nothing held my interest. Only one thing interested me—and she was thousands of kilometres away. I ended up turning the TV off and heading out of my room. I didn't know what to do with myself. Usually when my insomnia hit I would go to Phoebe's room and listen to her sleeping, but I couldn't do that so instead, I paced.

Finally, Alice's room door cracked open a little. "Is the carpet too thick?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you seem to be content to wear it down." She smiled.

I shrugged.

"Can't sleep?"

I shook my head. I paced the length of the corridor once more under Alice's watchful eye. Then I turned to her and blurted out everything about the nightmare I'd had earlier.

"You don't think Bella would actually cheat on you though, do you?" She laughed as if the idea was preposterous.

"'Course not," I muttered. "I don't know why the fuck I feel like this. All I know is I've been having the same sort of fucking nightmares for four years. Practically every night I have had to sleep without her beside me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was so bad," she whispered.

"How could you?" I snapped. "I never told anyone."

Alice nodded. "It will get better. Everything will. You'll see."

"Is that one of Alice Brandon's infamous predictions?" I asked, strangely feeling better as the words hung in the air.

"Damn straight." She laughed.

"I'll hold you to it then," I threatened.

"Why don't you come in, considering you're keeping me awake with all your wanderings anyway?"

I smiled. "Sure, thanks."

We talked until the sun began to rise. Finally, about an hour before I was due to leave to go back to the track, I snuck back into my own room for breakfast and a shower.

I arrived at the Marina Circuit as fresh as could be expected after only having a few hours sleep. Of course, fucking James was there to brighten my fucking day. Just the sight of him brought back visions of my nightmare—of Bella licking her lips while he fucked her from behind. I could recall with almost perfect clarity, the notes in her cries of ecstasy. My skin crawled every time I looked in his direction—more so than usual. I gritted my teeth and did what I needed to do to get the job done.

Thankfully, Jasper won both the second and third races, with James coming in third and ninth. At least that meant I didn't have to put up with the insufferable prat crowing about how good a driver he was on top of everything else.

Due to there being only five days between the Abu Dhabi and Bahrain races, Carlisle had decided it was better for the team to stay overseas. He had booked out some workshop space and had shipped over more than enough materials and equipment to make all the necessary repairs to rebuild before Bahrain. Unfortunately, it meant that I would be away from home for at least another eight days. It also meant that I had to be in close quarters with James not only for our usual working hours, but practically twenty-four seven. _Fuck. My. Life._ I missed the absolute hell out of Bella. By the third day in Bahrain, I was going out of my mind. I realised I was being an irritable bastard, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I snapped at anyone and everyone-even Carlisle at least twice. He was the only one I apologised to.

James had picked up on my obvious discomfort and used it to taunt me.

"Don't worry," he declared loudly, making the whole workshop pause. He held his hands up in the air as if to gain everyone's attention. "Eddie's just got a case of blue balls. I know just the remedy—a couple of blondes. Maybe I should order him some room service tonight."

He winked at me as everyone turned back to their tasks.

"Fuck off," I muttered under my breath.

"Aw, what's the matter, _Squirt,_" he said the nickname Jasper had given me as if it were a curse. "Don't you know the time zone rule?"

I didn't ask what the time zone rule was—I could imagine, and I wasn't interested in instigating it. In the end, my interest in the conversation wasn't required because he continued regardless.

"You know...it's not cheating if you aren't in the same time zone."

I turned on him, pinning him quickly against my toolbox.

"I don't give a shit if Bella is on another planet—I am not cheating on her."

"Pussy," he growled.

I gave him one last shove before releasing him. "Stay out of my way."

He smirked at me. "I'm the one in the car—you stay out of my way. It wouldn't take much for me to accidentally turn the wheel at the last minute."

"You wouldn't dare. Carlisle would have your ass and you know it."

"Out of the two of us, I think Carlisle would be more inclined to think it was your fuck-up in the pits than anything I did." He shrugged and walked away leaving his threat hanging in the air.

I growled at his retreating form. His comment pushed me past my limit and it was all I could do to stop myself from charging after him. Between the late nights we were pulling to get the cars ready in time and my inability to sleep without nightmares, I was a fucking mess. The months I had spent with Bella had spoiled me with mostly restful nights, and when I couldn't sleep, at least I could find peace knowing my girls were safe and well. But it wasn't like that now. Being away from Bella was hurting like hell. The stolen minutes on the phone when the time zones aligned just weren't enough to cut it for me.

I was awake early again on the Friday of the race meeting. It was the first day of qualifying, so I needed to have my head in the game. I went to the track early, eager to just throw myself into the day.

I'd been there for a little over an hour, just messing around in the pits. Something small barrelled into my legs and I looked down, startled. I thought maybe I'd gone crazy because what I saw looking back at me was a mini-Bella. A near-perfect replica of the love of my life, but with sparkling emerald eyes.

"Daddy!" the vision in a pink sundress squealed.

I bent down and picked her up, hoping for the life of me that my mind hadn't snapped and that I wasn't accosting some poor stranger's child.

I looked up in the direction that she'd hit me from and saw Bella standing back. She looked like she was itching to run to me too but was holding back for some reason. She wasn't dressed as provocatively as in my dreams and nightmares, but fuck she was hot and my dick sprung to immediate attention. I smiled at her, still uncertain that it wasn't just a dream. That seemed to break whatever bond was holding her back and she sprung at me.

I held Phoebe securely on one hip while I pulled Bella close to me, breathing in her scent. It was heaven. Absolute fucking heaven. I spent a few minutes just setting the moment in my memory.

"What are you doing here?" I asked when I had finally convinced myself it wasn't a dream.

"Carlisle flew us over. He even pulled some strings with Pembletons to have me here on official business so that I didn't need to take the time off unpaid. Apparently, _someone_ has been a little disruptive. For some reason, he thought I'd be a calming influence on the team. Any idea why?" She pulled back and raised her eyebrow at me.

I chuckled. "None at all."

Phoebe wrapped her arms tighter around my neck. I grabbed Bella's hand and the three of us did a walkthrough of my 'office' in pit lane. I placed Phoebe on the ground and showed her some of the tools I used before promising to let her sit in one of the cars later. As the rest of the crew began to gather, I pulled Bella into me. I reacquainted myself with my fiancé while we watched our daughter dance around in excitement. With the two of them so close, the pain and heartbreak of the previous week became nothing more than a bad memory. Not even James could ruin my good mood.

**

* * *

**

A/N:- Thanks as ever to my wifey CorrinaTFF for the enforced discipline and for the help whipping my words into shape. (and have you checked out her stuff yet? If not, go www. fanfiction. net/u/1975872/ …run…I'll be waiting here when you get back)

**I don't know if you know, but my hubs (Manhoor) and I have a little collaboration going. If you like blood & guts, gore & the evil dead go check it out. It's a little Evil Dead/Twilight cross-over called Evil Dead: Forks and Boomsticks (www. fanfiction. net /s/6020730/4/) There are 3 chaps & the prologue up at the moment. Hubs does Ash POV (from Evil Dead) and I do Bella. I try to be humorous, but really it's Manhoor that does the jokes :)**

**Links from this chapter: **

**The hotel RCE & the team stayed at: www. theyashotel. com/**

**Yas Marina Circuit (the race track in Abu Dharbi) www. yasmarinacircuit. com/**

**V8 Supercar schedule (this is the real race schedule for 2010) www. v8supercars. com. au/championshipseries/raceschedule/tabid/89/default. aspx**

**(Remove the spaces on all the links to get them to work)**

**I think that's it for me. Till next time *mwah***

**PS I will be doing a reviewers BPOV for this, you might just have to be a little patient. And in case I haven't mentioned it I have been posting the reviewers scenes slowly in their own story www. fanfiction. net/s/6410113/1/Claiming_Victory_CV2_Outtakes_Random_POVs**


	10. Practise Run

**Chapter 10: Practice Run**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

~ 0 ~

I was suited up and ready…almost. I climbed into the car, mentally preparing for the run. _I can do this_. _It's just a matter of accelerate, brake and turn the wheel. It's not hard... I've done it a million times before. _

_Yeah, but not in a Mini_, a snarky part of my brain countered. I tried to tell it to fuck off, but it had already instilled doubt—the self-hatred that threatened to derail my hopes. It was as though downsizing the car had also downsized my confidence. I may as well have been back in Karts for all the power the Mini would deliver.

I edged the car down through the paddock and lined up with the other racers. Moments later the gates were opened, and we all took to the track for the first of the practise sessions. As I drove through, I tried desperately to get comfortable in the car; its compact size took some getting used to. Not that I'd had the luxury of space in the V8 with its larger cabin, but the Mini had almost as many gadgets and only half the room. I tried to keep my mind on the positives as I drove. One, I was back in a car. Two, I was racing professionally again. Three, if the worst happened and I wrecked the car, it wouldn't break the bank—or more to the point Carlisle's pocket. The whole car could probably be replaced cheaper than a single panel or component on a supercar.

I tried not to think about the fact that it was Thursday, marking the time I had already been away from Bella and Phoebe for a couple of days. It was harder than I'd imagined. I hadn't anticipated how much time I would spend away from home during the season. It had been something that hadn't even occurred to me before. It never mattered whether or not I was in Sydney. I was either at home with a random girl or at a hotel with another; it ultimately made no difference. But since Bella returned to my life and introduced me to the joy of a family—to Phoebe—every minute I spent away from the house caused an ache. It had nearly driven me insane while I was overseas, or at least it had until they were back in my arms. Then when we'd arrived back in Australia, I wasn't even home for a week—a crazy week with long hours in the sheds at Cullen Racing, rebuilding the cars—before it was time to head off for Adelaide for the Clipsal 500.

It was an important race for so many reasons. Not only was it the first Australian leg of the V8 supercar calendar, it was the first round of the Mini Challenge. Which meant it was the first official round where I was racing again.

During the first few laps, I prepared myself mentally for being back on the track. This time it was only a twenty-minute practise session. Over the next few days it would progress into qualifying before finally entering into the first three races of my new life.

As I got a few laps under my belt, I began to picture Bella and Phoebe in my mind. Instead of fighting off the images like I had done the last time I was in a car, I embraced them. I wrapped my girls tightly in my thoughts and used it to spur me on to greater things. I pictured Bella smiling by my side as I climbed the podium. I imagined the greeting I would get when she arrived with Phoebe on Saturday if I qualified in pole position, hoping it would involve some positioning of my pole in our hotel room after Phoebe was asleep.

I made my way cleanly around the laps and began to get a better feel for the car. I knew the technical aspects because over the past few months, I had stripped the engine down and learned everything I could. I had absorbed all the information I could from the various fact sheets about the series, but focused more on the specific car that Carlisle had put me in. I knew that despite its smaller size and engine, the Mini was only a couple of hundred kilograms lighter than the V8's I was used to handling. I knew that it was capable of producing just shy of 160 kilowatts of power, compared to the 450 the V8 could get. It was also shorter and had a higher centre of gravity than the V8.

But all the theoretical knowledge in the world couldn't tell me that the Mini was a little more skittish around the corners or that I wouldn't need to brake as early or as hard. In fact, some corners I barely needed to brush the brakes. I had to adjust my driving style, but it was nothing I couldn't respond to quickly.

Fifteen minutes into the session, I found myself saddened by the fact that there were only five more minutes of practise left. Despite all my fear and concern over the Mini, driving it around the track was…fun. The pressure wasn't as great as in the V8. Although I still would have killed to be behind the wheel of the bigger cars, in the Mini I could just drive for the enjoyment of driving.

To make matters even better, the supercars didn't begin practise or qualifying until the following day. Technically, it meant the V8 drivers weren't required at the track, but Jasper was unique and came in regardless. He always liked to be there with his crew to help set up the pits and, of course, he wanted to be there to give me shit about the Mini.

I pulled the car off the track and followed the procession of cars into the pits. Our pits were located towards the back of the paddock, reflecting our low status on the race circuit. But I didn't care. Nothing could bring me down from the high I felt after taking control of the Mini so effectively. I had one more session later in the afternoon to get the feel of the car down, before the qualifying session the following day. I was determined to nail the qualifying, and I'd be damned if I wasn't going to be in pole position. It was my goal for the weekend-that and winning the round of course. I fucking knew I could do it. I felt fucking fantastic when I was out there on the track and nothing could stop me.

"Man, you owned that car!" Jasper said, slapping me on the back as I removed my helmet and balaclava.

I ran my fingers though my hair to shake out a little of the sweat. I'd been having so much fun out in the car that I hadn't even realised just how hot it was inside the cabin. I grabbed the cold, wet towel Jasper held out for me and wiped my brow down before running it through my hair.

"You think?" I asked, as I reached for the water bottle and drank deeply. I hadn't looked at my times; I hadn't been concentrating on racing per say, just on getting a feel for the car and the track. Excitement over the weekend bubbled inside me, and a smile naturally radiated onto my face.

Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. "Man you don't even realise how fucking much you have changed do you?"

I stood stoic for a second before answering. "Actually, man, I think I do."

Jasper nodded briefly. A second of silence passed before we got over the girly shit and started discussing the car. "Watching you shake the shit out of this thing around the corners really had me wishing I was out there with you. It looked like a hell of a lot of fun."

"It _was_ a hell of a lot of fun." I grinned widely. "In fact, I'm sure I could talk Carlisle into putting you in one too. Maybe the team can ditch the V8's altogether," I teased.

He laughed. "It _looked_ like fun, but not enough that I'd give up my V8."

I punched his arm. "I fucking hear you, bro. I know which car I'd rather be in."

"Oh, that has to be the Mini, right?" He laughed.

I laughed with him. "Definitely. It's the Mini all the way."

"Sparky," Embry called to me from the back of the pits. He and Quil had volunteered to be my pit crew under Tia's watchful eye. It knocked a few extra hours off their apprenticeships while also gave them the opportunity to work with another type of car and a different engine.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"The boss-man is looking for you. He came by while you were on the track and said to send you to the trailer when you were done here."

I nodded. "Thanks, man."

I stripped off the top half of my race suit, securing it around my waist before pulling off my undershirt. The cool air and warm sun felt good against my bare skin. I took a moment to enjoy the feeling while I had a little more water to rehydrate myself. Eventually, I felt refreshed enough to face Carlisle. I quickly ducked into the back of the pits grabbed a t-shirt and slipped it on. I spent half a minute trying to tame my hair before giving up and allowing it to stick up in long wet spikes as I walked off to see Carlisle.

I wandered over to the trailer, trying not to stress about the call-up. I knew from experience that Carlisle would just be interested in finding out what I thought about the car. He regularly saw drivers after their races, especially the first few times in a new car.

I knocked on the door of his room in the trailer. He called out his permission for me to enter and I stepped into his home away from home at race events. He treated the room as his office, so much so that at any given moment during a meet, he would either be in the trailer or in the pits. One wall was lined with monitors-some showed the racetrack from various angles-others were continually updated with the in-car telemetry during a race. Only one of those sets was permanently tuned to the weather channel. He liked to keep his finger on the pulse of the team, and the information provided by those screens allowed him to do it.

"So?" he asked, turning to face me before leaning forward on his desk to steeple his fingers over his mouth.

"So?" I queried back, raising an eyebrow at him. I was being a smart-ass, but I couldn't help it. I was still on a high from the fun of being back on the track.

"How was that session?"

"It doesn't have the boogie of a V8," I said seriously, my face set into a frown. "It corners like a freight train."

He raised his eyebrow at me and waited.

"And the cabin is too small."

My statement was met with a stoic glare.

I decided to end the joke and grinned at him. "It was a fuckload of fun."

"So I presume that means you aren't taking this seriously?" he asked, his face impassive and his voice cold.

My heart fell a little. I'd been having a little fun with him, the way we used to, but maybe it was too soon. Maybe he would never be that carefree with me again. Just as my thoughts began to descend into a full-blown panic, he laughed.

"Don't try to bullshit a bullshitter, Edward," he joked. "I'm glad you had fun out there. Just remember that this is still ultimately about winning the races."

I nodded. "Honestly, I can't wait to get out there and kick some ass."

He smiled. "Good. That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

I smirked. "Really?"

"I just wanted to give you a little extra…incentive," he said. "I would like to offer you a sweetener." He watched me carefully to ensure I was paying attention.

"Go on," I murmured, eager to find out what he had to offer.

"I'm going to give you a bonus each time you place."

I nodded. It wasn't anything new really. There had always been a bonus system in place for winning a V8 race. Of course, the bonuses he was offering now looked paltry in comparison to those, but I understood. The Mini Challenge wasn't as big a draw card as the supercars—to the crowds or the sponsors—so the money didn't flow as freely.

"And if you claim pole twice between now and Townsville, I will give you flights and access to the unit in London for your honeymoon, if you want it of course."

I thought about earning the opportunity to take Bella back to the unit and fucking her in the bedroom again…or on the cool steel counter in the kitchen. I was thankful that the knot of my race suit was low enough to cover me enough to hide the fact that I was straining against the zipper. Just thinking about the intoxicating taste of the Chivas Regal and Bella cocktail that I had enjoyed there made me hard, and my mouth watered. I was certain Bella would love a do-over of our time in London. I quickly calculated my chance of success. There were four rounds before our wedding. Two poles from four starts. I was certain I could do it and grinned at Carlisle, offering him my hand. "You've got yourself a deal."

"Great." He nodded and shook my hand. Just before he let it go, he spoke again, his voice low and solemn. "Seriously though, great work out there today, Edward."

I grinned widely.

"It's exactly the sort of behaviour I need to see from you."

I couldn't miss the barb in his final words, but decided to ignore it. Nothing was going to put a damper on my day. My life would have been perfect were it not for the blight of having to work in the pits for James over the weekend.

I decided to hunt down Alice to tell her the good news and eventually located her in the pits setting everything up for the coming event. I sat my ass down in one of the chairs and watched while she buzzed around. I would have offered to help, but I valued both my balls and knew her well enough to know she would rip one off if I set anything up wrong.

She chuckled as I told her about the hotel in London and finished with his parting words.

"He really does like you, you know," she murmured.

"Sure," I said sceptically with a chuckle. "He has a funny way of showing it sometimes."

"Don't you see? It's _because_ he likes you that he expects so much from you."

I laughed. "That makes absolutely no sense."

"It makes perfect sense when you think about it." She had her 'I'm wiser than thou' sage-like voice on, the one that didn't leave room for argument. "If you had no potential, he would have just fired you long ago, and you would have been nothing more than a blip on the radar of V8 history. But he didn't. He stuck with you through the drugs." She stuck her finger at me. "Don't think he didn't know about that. He offered you a second chance after realising that he had made a mistake in firing you rashly, and he's giving you another opportunity to drive. And don't give me any of that 'but it's a Mini' crap. You know he'll have you in a V8 as soon as he works out the best way to handle the press. I think you remind him of himself when he was younger. Except the whole leaving the love of your life and love-child behind thing of course."

I rolled my eyes as she finished her speech. She could be weirdly protective of Carlisle sometimes.

"Anyway," she said brightly. "Onto another unrelated topic—we need to organise a date for you and Jasper to get your suits fitted."

"Isn't it the bride's job to hassle me about that sort of thing?" I laughed. "Or at the very least the matron of honour's?"

"Oh, that's nice," she said. "Rub that one in again." She winked at me to let me know there were no hard feelings. Bella and Alice had come to an understanding that although Rosalie was going to be the matron of honour and help with all the Brisbane arrangements, Alice was Bella's on the ground assistant in Sydney—and in charge of keeping Jasper in line when it came to the stag party arrangements.

"Well, how about the weekend before Townsville?" I asked.

She shook her head. "That's no good. I'm going to be in Brisbane that weekend."

I tilted my head in confusion and she giggled.

"The hen's night remember."

I rolled my eyes. "Fuck, that's right. I forgot."

"Forgot or forced it out of your mind?"

I groaned. "The latter."

"Don't worry, Squirt, it's just a night out with a couple of strippers."

"Strippers, Alice?" I asked, an ill feeling spreading through me.

She shrugged. "What do you expect? It _is_ a hen's night after all. You don't expect her to celebrate her last night of freedom without looking at semi-naked men, do you?" She laughed.

"Why the hell would Bella want _strippers_?" I spat the word out in disgust.

"Surely you are having strippers?" Alice asked.

"You'd have to ask your boyfriend about that. I haven't arranged a thing."

"Edward, I know you... you'd be more than happy to be surrounded by boobs and half-naked women. Why deny Bella the same privilege?"

"Bella is going to have half-naked women surrounding her with boobs?" I asked with a snicker, thinking that watching _that_ would be preferable to having skanky strippers hanging around me at my bachelor party.

Alice rolled her eyes at me. "You know what I mean. If that's what Bella wants..."

"_Is_ that what Bella wants?" I asked, feeling sick at the thought.

"I don't know. I didn't organise it. I'm just telling you what I know.

I felt like I was pulling teeth. "Okay, so who _is_ organising it?"

Alice shook her head as if I was stupid. "The matron of honour of course."

"Rosalie," I muttered under my breath.

I left Alice to do her planning for the upcoming race and headed outside to make a phone call to Brisbane. I hoped Carlisle wouldn't mind, in fact I was sure he would understand. It was life or death. I flipped open my mobile and scrolled to Rosalie's number which Bella had programmed in so that I would always be able to contact her family in case of an emergency. As thankful as I was for Rosalie's number, given the circumstances, I knew there were three numbers that Bella had added that I would _never_ call; Jake's, Emmett's and Charlie's.

"Hi Edward," Rosalie answered cheerfully—clearly Bella had given her my number too. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Strippers, Rosalie?" I asked, my voice dripping with incredulity.

"What's good for the goose and all that," she answered, her voice still too fucking cheerful considering she was talking about my future wife ogling other men's goodies.

"Don't give me that shit," I growled. "I don't like it."

"Oh, I get it," Rosalie laughed. "Me, Edward. You, Bella." She made some ridiculous fucking monkey sounds.

"What the fuck?"

"You're a caveman!" She exclaimed. "You will happily go look at strippers, but the mere suggestion that Bella is going to and you freak."

"If I have to go see strippers, it would not be happily."

"Whatever," she laughed. "I'm not going to deprive my baby sister of the opportunity to make a final comparison before settling down."

I growled, beyond words. The thought of Bella being around half-naked men made my skin crawl. But just as bad was the thought of having half-naked strangers pawing all over me. I'd been there before, and I didn't want it.

"What if I don't have strippers?" I asked.

She laughed loudly. "I know you are turning over a new leaf and all that, but somehow I find that hard to believe."

I rolled my eyes, I didn't care if she couldn't see me-I fucking knew I was doing it and it felt good. "Watch me."

She laughed. "Well, I do believe you are stubborn enough to not do it if you are dared. But really, you should be able to enjoy your night. So should Bella."

"And enjoying the night entails looking at half-naked men? Is that what you are saying?"

She laughed harder. "I had no idea that was your idea of enjoyment, Edward. Are you sure you are marrying the right person?"

"Fuck off, Rosalie."

She pretended to gasp between her hysterical fits. "Such language! I am a mother-to-be."

I rolled my eyes. I knew she wasn't going to be of any further assistance, but I decided to try one last time. "So nothing will change your mind?"

"Not that I can think of."

"Fine," I seethed. "Bye _Rosie_."

She growled as I hung up the phone.

I didn't want to hassle Bella about it. I didn't want to call her in Sydney during a work day. Besides, she had enough on her plate between worrying about me and the stresses of the graduate program at her job. I decided maybe Rosalie had a point. If it _was_ what Bella wanted for her last hurrah, who was I to deny her? If only I could be sure the boys—and the other hens for that matter—would behave.

Suddenly, a stroke of inspiration hit me, and I left to hunt down Jasper.

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Sorry for the delay... again. Between writers block, study\exams & my beta's puter deciding to poop itself it's been an interesting ride trying to get this up. On the plus side if you read all my fics, you'll get a twofer tonight, the next LtY chapter will be going up very soon. **


	11. Ripple Effect

**Chapter 11: Ripple Effect**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

_And a big thank you to Edwardsisobel for the last-minute fine tuning a certain scene in this chappie :D_

~ 0 ~

The second practice session of the day went exactly the same as the first; with each lap, I learned a little more about the car and how to treat it around the Adelaide circuit. I took time to dance from one side of the track to the other and pushed the car harder into the corners to try to find its limit. Surprisingly, I was able to put all thoughts of male strippers out of my head and just focus on my driving. By the time the session was finished, I felt the fastest I ever had…at least the fastest I had _in the Mini_. I pulled the car into the shed at the end of the last practice lap, leaving it ready for early qualifying the next day.

I packed up the little I had and said goodbye to the few people that were still around. I left the track feeling jubilant.

I climbed into a cab and gave him my hotel address and visa card. I briefly debated going out to celebrate, but decided to just head straight back to the room to call my girls instead. I could always order in room-service for dinner. Except for the phone call home, it was how I had always spent my evening before a big race. Even though everything about my life was different, I figured I should stick to my pre-race routine as best as I was able.

On the other hand, my post-race routine—celebrating and relieving my tension with a random screw—could go and get fucked completely. There was only one girl I wanted to celebrate and 'release my tension' with. I just had to wait one more day and then she'd be with me.

When I arrived back at the hotel, I realised it was still a little too early to call Bella, so I jumped in the shower, ordered my dinner, and then surfed the TV channels for a few minutes. I tried to work out what would be the best time to catch both Bella and Phoebe. I was in the middle of that internal debate when room service arrived. I quickly finished my meal and then allowed another hour to pass—albeit slowly—before I was sure things would be more organised back home. I grabbed the hotel phone and dialled. Bella picked it up on the first ring.

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "Anyone would think you were waiting for a call."

"I knew you'd call." I could hear her wide smile. "I've been waiting for you."

"What can I say, I'm under the thumb," I joked.

"You're in a better mood than I was expecting," she mused.

"I had a better day than I was expecting."

"Well, that makes one of us," she murmured.

The sadness in her voice stopped me cold. "Talk to me about it," I offered, feeling immensely proud of myself for noticing the tone in her voice and acting upon it; Dr Laurent would have been pleased.

She quickly ran through her day; how it started with her spilling coffee on her white blouse on the way to work and ended with having a run in with one of the other graduates—whose father just happened to be a partner of the firm. Apparently, after leaving the office, Bella had broken down in tears as soon as she reached the car.

I was proud of her for not giving them the satisfaction of breaking down in front of them.

"I'm sorry to hear it sucked," I whispered. "If I was there, I would kiss and hug you" _–and fuck you—_"until it was all better."

She giggled lightly down the line. "It's better already. Thank you."

I grinned. She often had to be my oasis in this shitty-ass world, so I was glad I could do the same for her. We chatted a little more about her day, and mine, before being interrupted by a ruckus on her end. I could hear Phoebe asking something, but I couldn't make out all the words. I wondered if Bella had her hand on the mouthpiece.

"Would you like to talk to Phoebe?" she asked when I had her attention again.

"Hell yeah," I said, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, but I'd been missing my little girl just as much as my bigger one.

I heard Bella chuckling as she passed the phone on.

"Hi, Daddy!"

It was amazing how those two little words made my fucking day even better. "Hi baby, how was your day?"

"Good. I did some painting and played in the sandpit today." She barely took a breath before telling me all the other details of her day. "Nessie said she's my best friend, and Miss Mary read us lots of stories and taught us a new song." She launched straight into it, singing down the line about a town that was upside down or something.

I smiled as I listened to her. I was amazed to realise just how grown up she was. Talking to her over the phone made me appreciate just how well she could converse. After she finished her song, I told her how good I thought it was, and she made sure I knew all the words before we were allowed to move on to the next topic.

"Did you win today, Daddy?" she asked.

I snickered, but then decided it was easier to tell her I had won than to explain the differences between practice sessions, qualifying, and races just yet. That could be a conversation for another day. Besides, I _felt_ like I had won. The Mini was never going to be my dream car, but being back on the track was indescribable. "Yes, I won today."

I heard her squeal, and then she was off and talking to Bella rather than into the phone. I chuckled when Bella came back on. "I think I'm going to hear about your _win_ for a while. I'll see you tomorrow night?"

I felt suddenly bereft. An overwhelming pang of homesickness and loss washed over me at the thought of ending the call so quickly. I knew it would only be a little over twenty-four hours before they'd be in Adelaide with me, but it wasn't soon enough.

"Can you call me back after Phoebe is in bed?" I asked desperately. I needed more of her—I needed _all_ of her.

I heard delight colour Bella's voice as she agreed. She took down the hotel number and promised she would call back the moment Phoebe was asleep.

~ 0 ~

I waited impatiently for Bella's phone call. I tried to distract myself any way I could but nothing worked. Nothing could occupy my mind for more than a few seconds. I gave up on distractions and paced across the room, missing my family more with every step.

Finally the phone rang and I raced to answer it. I picked it up on the third ring.

"You took your time," Bella joked.

I laughed. "Give me some credit. I was on the other side of the room."

"I thought you _wanted _to talk to me?" I could hear the laughter in her voice. "I can always go…"

"Don't you fucking dare," I growled playfully.

"I won't," she murmured. "I couldn't." She sighed. "I miss you."

I sighed as well. "Me too, baby, me too."

"This bed's so cold and lonely without you in it to warm it."

I pictured her sprawled out on our bed, alone and waiting. My mouth grew dry. "Are you in bed at the moment?" I asked.

"Yeah, I thought it was the best place to call you from. Less distractions."

"I'm in bed too," I told her. My mind offered up an experience that I'd never had, but suddenly wanted more than anything. "What are you wearing?" I asked my voice dropping lower and quieter.

"Just my pyjamas, why?" she asked, but then a startled 'Oh' came down the line.

"I want you, Bella," I whispered. "I wish you were here with me already."

"Me too," she sighed.

"But since you're not with me, you'll have to be my hands."

"Edward, I don't know if—"

I cut her off. "Please, baby, for me." I paused, desperate for her to understand exactly what I wanted and why. "I need you."

I heard her nearly muted acceptance down the line. I was assailed by images of her pleasing herself. Forefront in my mind was the one I'd had a lifetime ago in London after I'd seen the vibrator in her luggage. I'd found out later that Rosalie had put it there as a joke, but I could still readily retrieve the mental image I had of Bella using it.

"You've still got the _toy_ that you had in London, right?" I asked.

Her voice was shaky when she replied. "I…umm…yes." The last word was almost silent.

"I want you to use it," I instructed. I could tell that the same thing that was driving me into a frenzy, and causing me to be utterly and completely erect, was also causing her more than a few nerves. I hoped that by being assertive, I would give her more courage. I didn't want her to be embarrassed or anxious about what I wanted—needed—in that moment. With the amount of travelling I would be doing during the season, I could only hope a good outcome would mean repeat performances.

"Please, baby," I cooed after getting no response. "You would not believe how hard I am just thinking about it."

That seemed to be the motivation she needed. She breathed heavily into the phone.

"Okay," she squeaked.

I heard her standing up before moving to rifle through the drawers. My heart pounded as I heard her footsteps as she walked back to the bed. I closed my eyes and pictured her lying on my pillow.

"Put the phone on speaker and place it beside you on the pillow," I directed.

"Why?" she asked shyly.

"I want you to use both hands," I explained.

I heard the slight echo of the speakerphone.

"That's a good girl," I growled. I was so fucking hard it was hurting. "Now, turn on the toy and have it ready nearby you."

I heard the click and then a soft buzz echo down the line. I was getting harder by the second at just how readily she was following my instructions.

"I'm going to unzip myself now," I whispered, pulling the zipper on my jeans down as I said the words.

I heard her gasp, but then her breathing grew heavier. When she spoke again, her voice was husky. I could tell she was starting to get into it. "What are you doing?" she asked seductively.

"I'm rubbing my hand along my stomach, picturing your hands. They're so smooth, and light, and warm." I growled. "I love it when you touch me."

She moaned softly.

"What would you want me to do to you?" I asked. I was already palming myself lightly, trying to ease some of the pressure without blowing my load too soon.

"I like it when you kiss my neck," she whispered.

"Close your eyes. Now, picture me kissing your neck. I'd start from just below your ear, before running my lips and tongue over your jaw. I would swirl my tongue to get more of a taste of that delicious skin of yours." I closed my eyes too and imagined my mouth tracing the path I was talking about.

"Then what?" Her voice almost sounded like a plea.

I moaned in response to the lust I heard. "I would kiss into the collar of whatever blouse you were wearing…"

"I'm not wearing a blouse," she murmured.

"Are you wearing a bra?" I hoped not.

"Not at the moment."

I growled again and my palming began to grow a little more frantic. I didn't know how long I would take to release, but I was damn well going to take Bella with me when I did. "I would suck at your breasts one at a time. Taking the nipples between my lips and stroking them with my tongue."

"Oh God," she exclaimed. "That feels…" Her voice broke off breathily and I could picture her hands tracing the imaginary path I was describing.

"While I still have my mouth on your fucking fantastic breasts, I would run one of my hands along your stomach and dip my fingers into your panties." I slid my fingers frantically up and down my shaft, groaning as I imagined my fingers slipping into her slickness.

"Then what?" she moaned.

"Then, I'd move my mouth down to join my fingers. I'd taste you and lick you until you begged for me to fuck you."

She grunted. "Oh, God, Edward, I want you. Tell me…tell me what you would do next."

"Then, baby…I would worship every inch of you. I would kiss my way back up to your mouth and position myself at your entrance." I hoped she realised this was where her little toy came into play. I heard the vibrations move further away from the phone. "I would touch your silky skin as I slid into your warmth. We would find our rhythm together, baby, the way that only we can."

My voice was straining. It was thick with desire, and I was sure she would be able to hear the sounds my hands were making as I pictured my words. I was so close it wouldn't take much to push me over the edge; especially not with the little moans and mews she made as the sound of humming undulated as she moved the vibrator rhythmically within her. "Tell me how that feels?" I groaned.

"It…it feels so good. I want you Edward, I want you badly. What…what now?"

"As I move inside you, my mouth would find your nipples again, and I would take my time playing with each one. I would suck them until you came, hard, squeezing tightly around me while I was still buried deep inside you."

I heard her ragged breathing and knew she was just as close as I was. "Come for me, Bella," I groaned as I came over my hand and stomach.

"Fuck baby," I growled as I heard the sounds of her moans signalling her release a moment later.

We panted to each other for a few minutes before she giggled nervously. "Well…that was different," she said.

"Good different? Or bad different?"

"Good different," she laughed. "Definitely good different."

I was glad that she'd enjoyed it, because it meant that we would be able to do it again…and again…whenever I was away. After all, not all locations were close enough that she could fly out for the weekend.

We chatted for a few more minutes before we both needed to go. We both had early starts and huge days ahead of us. She had work and then negotiating a flight with Phoebe. I needed to be at the track by seven a.m. to prepare for my qualifying round and then I had a full afternoon of racing and working the pits.

Between talking to Bella and our little adventure, I felt almost relaxed and ready to sleep. I flicked on the TV to distract me long enough to settle completely. The next day couldn't come soon enough.

~ 0 ~

I whipped the car around the track, faster and faster each lap. I was soaring on a euphoric high as I poured my energy into the accelerator. I knew I was on track for the perfect race.

I heard another car coming around the track, a much bigger car I had no chance of competing with. I knew that I should have tried to get out of the way, but I was on track for such a good lap that I couldn't.

I saw my rear-view mirror fill up with the new Cullen Racing V8, decked out with James' number. I watched as the car drifted closer and closer. I was surprised to see that James wasn't wearing any safety gear, not even a race suit. He snarled at me in the mirror as his car dropped away suddenly.

I heard the impact before I felt it. The keening of metal on metal as I was being pushed toward the cement wall, reverberated through my ears. As his car shunted mine roughly, I noticed a flash of colour out of the corner of my eye; something was on the passenger side of the car. I couldn't turn to see what it was, because at that moment, my car collided roughly with the concrete barrier of the track. I was tossed like a ragdoll as the car barrel rolled back onto the track.

After the car finally came to a rest, I flicked my head around to see what had caused the flash I had seen. I was horrified to discover Bella curled on the seat beside me. She was completely still and her head slumped forward to her chest, causing her long hair to form curtains around her face. I couldn't tell whether she was sleeping or not, I couldn't even tell if she was breathing. I reached my hand over to touch her lightly.

She didn't respond to my attempt, so I shook her gently. I still got no response. I grabbed her chin lightly and turned her face toward me. I gasped and choked with horror as I took in her appearance. Her lips were blue, her skin even paler than normal—grey and chalky—and her eyes looked through me, unfocused and unseeing. My heart stopped as the reality of it all struck me. I knew I was seeing the face of death. My Bella was dead.

~ 0 ~

"No!" I shouted into the empty hotel room. Tremors of shock ran through my body, each of my muscles quivering in response to the images that were still on replay in my head. Without thinking, I picked up the phone and dialled home. I waited as the phone rang; each ring caused my panic to rise.

"Hello?" Bella's sleepy, confused and groggy voice was on the line.

Tears of relief sprung to my eyes. "Thank fuck," I whispered.

"Edward?" she asked. I could tell she was still trying to shake off her slumber.

"It's me…I'm sorry for ringing so late, or early, I don't fucking know."

"Why are you calling? Is something wrong?" I could detect the panic rising in her.

"No," I murmured. "I just had a…" I couldn't finish, unable to admit that I had practically torn from the bed to call her just because of a nightmare. I squeezed my eyes shut, but each time I did, all I saw were the images of her grey pallor and lifeless eyes. "Fuck, Bella, I can't lose you." I sobbed once. My hand found my hair and I pulled hard at it, trying to force the images out of my mind.

"Edward? What is it?"

I sighed. I needed to get my shit under control. I knew the dream was a reaction to having to deal with James at the track over the weekend, and a manifestation of the danger he posed to me and to Bella. But it had felt so real. "I love you," I told her. "Never forget that. No matter what happens, you can't forget that."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry, baby. I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." I couldn't keep my voice level or my thoughts sane. I just kept picturing her face as I'd held it in my hands before I'd awakened. "I just don't want anything to happen to me," _or you_, I added mentally, "without you knowing just how much you mean to me."

I heard her relax a little over the phone. I wondered if she had climbed back into bed while we were talking. "Don't worry, I know."

"Bella?" I asked, my voice still anxious.

"Mmmm," she hummed sleepily.

"I'm sorry for calling you so late. I just needed to know that you were okay."

"I'm okay," she whispered. She sounded incredibly tired, and I felt a fresh guilt over waking her about something as silly as a dream; even if I could still see her hollow eyes staring past me.

I sat on the bed quietly, holding the phone in my hand and listened to Bella's steady breathing. I was sure she was falling back to sleep. I waited the length of a few more peaceful breaths before I finally, begrudgingly, said goodbye and let her get back to sleep. I felt a little calmer, but there was no way I could risk going back to bed myself. I decided to sneak down to the hotel gym and get a little bit of exercise in before it was time to head to the track.

I ran on the treadmill like a man possessed. It was as if I was trying to outrun all my demons, even though I knew it was impossible. I used the time to try to get my head together and concentrate on what I needed to do on the track and in the pits.

I tried not to think about James, or my mind would invariably wander back to his face in my dream, which would lead me back to Bella...

I was relieved when it was a reasonable enough hour to head to the track. It would be easier to put my nightmare out of my mind when I was surrounded by other people. Jasper and Alice met me at the track early. They weren't required until much later in the day, but they were keen to watch my qualifying session and support me as much as they could from the sidelines. The other boys from my pit team were already in the garage when I arrived.

"It'll be good crewing for a driver who's head isn't utterly up his ass," Embry said as he did a final run over the car—even though nothing had changed since my previous session.

I laughed. "You do realise there isn't any _actual_ crewing involved don't you?"

He shrugged. "We might not be in the pits like we would if you were in a V8, but we'll be with you on the track in spirit. Our blood, sweat and tears have gone into that car as much as yours."

"I know man," I said, slapping one hand on his shoulder and the other on Quil's. "And I can't thank you both enough."

"Get out there and kick ass!" Quil enthused, handing me my helmet.

I stopped, my dream coming back to me full-force as I looked over the car. I took a deep breath and pushed it out of my mind. I climbed into my seat, quickly checking the passenger side in my periphery—I was relieved, but not surprised, to see that no one was there—and drove out to meet my destiny.

**~ 0 ~**

**A/N- I'm not even going to say it…the s word...I've been saying it too much lately, but I hope that you know that it's true. **

**For those of you who don't know, there is a big flood going on in Australia's third largest city, Brisbane, at the moment. It's causing massive damage, with approximately 30,000 houses expected to endure some sort of damage. But to make a terrible situation worse, Brisbane is just the latest in a long line of Queensland towns affected by severe flooding this season. In order to help the situation, at least a little, a group of awesome ladies have begun asking authors to participate in the creation of a compilation of stories from multiple fandoms to raise funds for those in desperate need. If you are interested in finding out more go here http:/fandomsfightthefloods(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/home(dot)html (just replace (dot) with . ) Together with many Australian's, I have watched the news nightly and am horrified by the worsening situation. Having witnessed the devastation of these floods on a very minor scale first hand, I have pledged to contribute something to the compilation; and so have many many other wonderful authors. I think the number of authors signed up was over 90 last time I looked. Please join together to help out those who have, in some cases, lost everything-except their Aussie spirit. **

**If anyone has any explicit requests for outtakes or sidetakes or alt. endings, feel free to ask in a review or PM me. I have a few ideas as well, but I would like to take this opportunity to see if anyone would like to see anything in particular from me for the flood compilation.**

**Also, I should have a BPOV scene for this chap, just not sure when exactly, hopefully within a week of posting this. **


	12. Long Weekend

**Chapter 12: Long Weekend**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my fic-wifeys aka the Keepers of the Mojo (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

~ 0 ~

I pulled off my helmet and balaclava before shaking out my hair. I ran my fingers through the sweaty tendrils, brushing them back off my forehead while trying to force them into some kind of shape. I pulled down the zipper of my race suit, waited for the final confirmation of my results and prepared for scrutineering to begin. I was sure I'd had a good lap in my qualifying. I felt fast…or at least fast-_ish_. It wasn't nearly as speedy as the V8, but I had felt the fun in the laps. More than that, I felt the joy of racing again. Something I hadn't really experienced in such a long time; certainly not since I had seen Bella with Jacob at Queensland Raceway; perhaps not even for quite some time before then. I could barely wait for my first race later in the afternoon. I just had to get through a stint in the pits for James first.

After the officials did the weigh-in and looked over my car, I was told that I had qualified in second place. I couldn't help the small disappointment I felt over the fact that I didn't make it in first—especially with the London offer on the table for poling twice—but I was still fucking happy with the result. If I could translate it into success on the track in the afternoon, I would be over the moon.

After parking the Mini in the pits, I had very little to do for the day, so I spent as much of my time as possible in hiding. I retreated to the very back of the small garage and tinkered away on my Mini. I knew I would get more peace and quiet there than in the Cullen Racing trailer or pits. I made appearances as needed at both the pit crew briefing and Carlisle's little pre-practice pep up that he always did. The second they were over I hid away again. The result was a slightly boring day—there wasn't much to look at in the garage—but it also meant that I didn't have a single run-in with James; at least until it was time to pit for him.

James' practice laps didn't go nearly as smoothly as he might have liked. Liam decided the first session was a good time to make a few adjustments to the car on the fly. My team did everything exactly as specified when James ended up back in pit lane again and again. He began to curse us out each time Liam called him back in. I could almost understand his frustration at not being able to get a solid run on the track, but the changes were being made for his benefit; there was no need for him to be such an ass about it.

Once time was called on the practice, and I could be free of the pits, I ran straight for my garage. I only had a matter of minutes to get in my car and into the marshalling area for my first race. My stomach was full of butterflies at being back under proper race conditions again. I had eight laps—a little under twenty minutes—to prove to the world, and myself, that I wasn't a failure and that I could get around the track cleanly under full race conditions. I felt the pressure bearing down on me, and it was almost enough to make my knees buckle.

I wished that Bella was alongside me, but that thought brought back images from my horrendous dream. I took a deep breath and imagined instead that Bella was in the stands waiting patiently for me. I pictured her mouth turning up into a smile as I lined up on the grid. It was just the inspiration I needed to put the car into gear and drive onto the track.

I sat on the grid waiting for the green light, focused only on the pedals at my feet, the gear-stick to my left and my hands firmly planted on the wheel. I closed my eyes in my usual pre-race ritual, allowing myself one second of solitude. I pressed my foot deep onto the floor, listening to the far too quiet buzz that issued from the Mini's tiny engine. It didn't block out the sounds quite the way the V8 had during the same routine. I took a deep breath, then my eyes snapped open and it was time to go.

_Ride on instinct._

_Don't think._

_Don't over-think._

I threw the Mini into gear, floored the accelerator and mentally willed the car to go as fast as possible. I watched as the car beside me—driven by Randall Andersen, the championship winner in 2009 and the 'one to watch' this season—dropped away slightly. I had the inside line at corner one. If I could just make a clean dive for it, I would be in the best position possible for the rest of the lap.

I threw the car hard into the corner, braking as late as I could—using the knowledge I had gained in my practise and qualifying sessions to my benefit. I edged out Andersen and drove in hard across his nose. I knew I needed to leg it to turn two or he would have the line there. He rode my tail tightly as I charged through turns two and three. By turn four, I was just starting to put some distance between us.

I flicked the car around the hard right, before banking straight across for the hard left to block anyone who could have dove around me on the inside. I hit the straight and gunned it. I pushed as hard as I could, wishing that I could find an extra kilometre or two—just that little edge over my competitors—even though I knew that the cars were all equal.

I swept around the soft curve of turn eight before breaking hard and cutting in sharply to get around the tight bend. My eyes flicked up to the overpass that extended over the track and, I imagined Bella up there, watching and waving as I sped by. I passed the V8 paddock, refusing to give into the little niggle that started at the back of my head.

_You could have been in one of those if things had gone differently._

If things had gone differently, I might not have had Bella back in my life. I would rather drive a Mini in every race until the end of eternity than give her up again.

I steadied the car, enjoying the freedom of my half-second buffer, and drove it hard around the last few turns, blowing out the breath I'd been holding for most of the lap. I was one-eighth of the way to the end of the race. I was in first with a bit of a lead, and I didn't have to worry about my concentration being invaded by guilt over leaving Bella or stress over her finding comfort with another.

The next seven laps were not exactly a walk in the park. With the Minis being so evenly matched, one bump in the road or one misjudged corner and the game could shift suddenly. My buffer was reduced, and then eroded completely before I was staring at the ass of another car. I began to panic about being unable to finish on podium. I needed a solid finish so badly, to reward Carlisle's gamble, to silence the critics, but most of all, to earn Bella's pride. I knew she would love me no matter the outcome, but I wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted there to be a reason for her coming to Adelaide to support me.

By the start of the eighth lap, I was door to door with Andersen. He was taking the aggressive lines as often as he could, neither of us willing to give up our track position to the other.. We drove side by side through turns eight, nine and ten. Despite the tight grip I had on the wheel, the set of my teeth as I clenched them tightly, and my absolute focus on the track, I was having fun.

I knew turn fourteen was critical. Gaining control over that corner at this stage of the race could easily place me in the winner's seat, so I wanted to be out front when we hit it. I dropped back a little pushing the car hard to the left side of the track. I took a deep breath—and a huge risk—drove in hard, broke late, and cut across the nose of Andersen's Mini just as he was entering the turn. I whipped my car around and exited the corner on the far right hand side of the track. I didn't even pause to breathe again as I moved my foot from brake to accelerator and pushed hard. One hand steadied the wheel as my other snapped through the gears.

I saw Andersen's car make a last minute push for the line, but he was too late. A grin a mile wide broke out across my face. I was back. I had won, and fuck, it felt good.

I didn't have time to revel in the afterglow of my win though. By the time I'd finished in scrutineering and parked the car back in the garage, I had less than a minute to sprint to the pits for James' second practise session. I was panting as I took my position, and thankful that Quil and Embry had covered my ass by having everything I needed ready and waiting.

I rolled my eyes as I heard James' complaints about his crew not being ready, knowing full well he was referring to my late arrival, but it wasn't like he was delayed at all. The car was more than ready when he rolled out onto the track.

Once James had disappeared around the first corner and we knew we weren't likely to see him again—it was Jasper's turn for the bulk of the fine-tuning—I said a quiet thank you to my boys. They in turn congratulated me on a job well done in the Mini.

James only came into pit once during the thirty minute practise and then only because he wanted to practise on the new 'soft' control tyre.

I was out of the pits the moment I was able to leave, retreating into the Mini garage again. Sure, I was being a coward, but at least I was a coward who was keeping my ass out of trouble; which was why I was so surprised when Tia dropped by and told me I needed to get up to the Cullen Racing trailer immediately.

At first I thought maybe Carlisle wanted to congratulate me on the race, but I knew that his main priority for the rest of the day and into the evening was the V8s. I knew his schedule. He would go over all the statistics, have a brief discussion about tactics with Liam, and then he would meet with the drivers and go over the plan for the qualifying run in the morning. At the same time, he would be meeting with sponsors, arranging grid girls and organising meet and greets. In other words, he was far too busy to be seeing me over something as trivial as my win.

As it turned out, it wasn't Carlisle who wanted me at all. James had decided to pull an impromptu meeting to discuss 'tactics' of his own for the race. I openly objected to some of the suggestions he was making; some of what he was planning was sabotage thinly veiled as strategy. But even I had to admit some of his requests were valid.

I tried to be the first to leave when he finished the meeting, but unfortunately he called my name. Quil and Embry hung back a little when they realised I would be alone with him, but I waved them forward. If he wanted a confrontation, I would give him one.

"I know your game," he said, smiling his stupid smirk. "You think that by being the good boy of the team, you will get your shot in my car again. I think you're wrong. I doubt that Carlisle would even let you touch the controls of a V8 with a ten-foot pole. But I don't care what you think may or may not happen; you just better fucking watch yourself and your smart mouth when you pit for me tomorrow. If I lose, it will be on your head."

I scoffed. "If you lose, it will be because your head is so far up your own ass that you can't see the track." I turned and left the room as quickly as I could, taking just one brief second to enjoy the look on his face at my words. As I pushed out of the room, my mobile rang. I smiled when I read the word, 'Bella', on the readout.

I answered it, knowing that hearing her voice would be the icing on the cake for the pretty fantastic day I'd had. "Hey, baby."

Instead of her voice, I heard a choked sob.

"Bella?" I asked, beginning to panic. "What is it?"

"Rosalie…" she managed to squeeze out. Then a stack of words fell out in a jumble. I could only pick out random words, and they made my heart clench. _Hospital…baby…danger…Brisbane. _

"What is it? What's happening?" I felt inadequate, utterly unable to deal with whatever it was. But most of all, I felt isolated. I was in another state while Bella needed me. I may not have known what was happening, but I knew that much.

"It's Rosalie, she's been rushed to hospital. Oh God, Edward, they think she might lose the baby. It's all just too…" She cut off as her voice was stolen by a series of chest-wracking sobs.

I could easily imagine what was causing Bella's pain. It was all too similar to what happened with the twins; with Emmanuel's and Phoebe's birth.

"I need to go to her. I need to be there for her…like she was for me." Bella's voice was little more than a whisper.

"Go," I told her. It broke my heart to say it, but I knew I couldn't be selfish. As much as I wanted her beside me, as much as I needed her in my arms again, I couldn't demand that she come to Adelaide rather than go to Brisbane.

"I'm so sorry…" she sobbed.

"It's not your fault," I murmured. "I know you would be here if you could, but if Rosie needs you, you need to go." I leaned against the side of the trailer, feeling the blood draining from my face even as I said the words. I couldn't help but wonder how Bella would feel being back at the hospital. Would it bring back too many painful memories for her? Would she have to relive all of them with me in another state and unable to help? I longed to be able to rush to her and support her in all the ways I didn't before. But I couldn't see how that was possible, at least not without pissing off Carlisle. In the end, I decided I didn't care. "Bella, you organise your ticket. Use the emergency money. Let me know your flight details."

I hoped my tone was such that it wouldn't allow for argument.

"Okay," Bella said softly, then, "Are you sure about this?"

"One hundred percent. Go."

"Thank you."

"And Bella," I added.

"Yeah?" Her voice was still muffled, and she was sniffling.

"I love you."

After I had hung up the phone, I headed straight for Carlisle's offices. I knew he would be busy, and I was certain my course of action would result in me upsetting the apple cart, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. Bella needed me, and that was all that mattered. I waved at Alice and called her out of the strategy meeting, before quickly explaining what had happened and what I was going to do.

"I'll get you a meeting with Carlisle as soon as possible," she said before rushing off.

I watched as she walked over to Carlisle and whispered in his ear. His eyes darted quickly to me before he held up his hand to stop the meeting. Moments later, he came out and nodded for me to follow him into his office.

I swallowed nervously as I walked behind him. Would he understand why I needed to leave? Would he be okay with it? Or would it jeopardise the effort I had been putting in?

I trailed about three steps back as he walked wordlessly into his office. He headed straight for his desk drawer and pulled out his mobile. Without a word to me he scrolled though his contacts before putting the phone to his ear.

"Ashley, it's Carlisle Cullen. I need to book a seat on the next flight from Adelaide to Brisbane."

I felt my jaw drop as I listened to him book a return flight for me. After he'd ended his call he finally turned to me. "I booked the return flight just in case you can make it back. But family comes first in situations like this."

He handed me a sheet of paper with the details on it and wrote down Ashley's number so I could reschedule the return flight if necessary. He told me that he'd get Quil and Embry to prep my car for the morning, just in case.

I thanked him profusely before pulling out my phone to ring Bella to tell her the good news. As soon as she answered, she launched into the details of her flight. I realised as she ran through the details that my own flight would arrive about fifteen minutes before hers. I decided to make my own dash to Brisbane a secret.

~ 0 ~

I ran through the domestic terminal to get to the gate that Bella would be coming through. I was using every one of my fifteen minutes to ensure that I was there before she disembarked. I waited anxiously, watching the gate carefully for her arrival. I stood by the gate, my eyes taking in every person as they passed by. Finally, she emerged. She was almost the last one off, carrying Phoebe on one hip as she walked. Her body was bent and weary; it was as if a hundred years had wreaked havoc on her body since I had last seen her just a few short days ago. Her eyes were red and puffy, showing that she'd clearly been crying on the plane. I hated that I wasn't able to do anything more for her earlier but silently vowed to do everything I could for her now.

Phoebe was the first to see me. "Daddy!" she called as soon as her eyes locked with mine.

I gave her a small smile as Bella hushed her quietly, telling her that Daddy wasn't there.

Phoebe shook her head and laughed. "He's right there, Mummy!" she exclaimed, pointing at me.

Bella raised her head a little as her eyes followed Phoebe's finger to find me. Her eyes widened as they traced over my body.

I smiled, walking over to her as quickly as I was able and wrapped my arms around the pair of them. Phoebe wrapped her arms around my neck, before giving me a quick peck on the cheek. I felt Bella surrender herself into my embrace almost instantly. I knew it was only sheer perseverance and determination which had carried her onto the plane and then through the terminal.

"You came," she whispered against my chest. "I can't believe you are actually here."

"Here for you," I murmured into her hair. "For as long as you need me."

"But your race? Your pit obligations?"

"If I can get back to Adelaide before the meet is over, then I will. Otherwise…" I trailed off, letting her know through touch instead that I would remain by her side.

She leaned heavily into me as I moved her away from the gate.

"Did you have any luggage?" I asked.

She shook her head and showed me her shoulder where a small overnight bag was slung over her. I reached out and slid it from her shoulder before pulling Phoebe into me. I needed to take as much of the physical load off of Bella as I could. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do for her emotional one.

"Have you heard anything more?"

Bella shook her head. "Nothing. All I know is that Rosalie was rushed to the RBH earlier. Emmett was beside himself when he called."

"It will be alright," I assured her, hoping like hell I wouldn't be proven wrong when we arrived at the hospital.

~ 0 ~

Renee rushed over to us, surprise at our arrival evident in her features. She thanked us for coming and took Phoebe from my arms. I sank back behind Bella, using her as a shield between myself and her family. I placed my hand lightly on the small of her back, wordlessly letting her know I was there for her.

"What's happening?" Bella asked. "How is she?"

"She's okay," Renee said as she embraced Phoebe tightly. "She gave us all a major scare though, passing out the way she did. She's just come back from a round of scans. The doctors were most concerned about the bleeding. They're not saying much at the moment, but they are taking extra precautions because of her high-risk pregnancy. Emmett's with her now."

Bella sighed in relief and leaned back into me. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my hands on her stomach. I ducked my head to rest my cheek against the crook of her neck. I was thankful it was nothing serious. I wasn't sure how Bella would have coped if anything had happened to Rosalie or the baby.

"Can I see her?" Bella asked finally.

Renee nodded. "But she's only allowed two guests at a time, so you'll have to go in alone." She eyed me apologetically.

I brushed my lips along Bella's neck. "Go. I'll be waiting here when you come back out. I'm sure she'll be happy to know you are here."

Bella turned and gave me a questioning concerned look and I nodded. It was what she had come to Brisbane for after all.

I sat in the corner of the waiting room, trying to blend into the walls so that no one noticed me. I felt like an interloper on a private family time.

After a short time with Renee, Phoebe came and planted herself on my lap and gave me a hug. "I missed you, Daddy," she whispered.

"I missed you too, baby." I hugged her closer. "I hope you were good for Mummy?"

She nodded and smiled. I could tell she was getting bored and restless, so I grabbed a small pile of magazines from under the waiting room table—the most recent one was from Christmas the previous year—and began to make up little stories about the people in them.

"Look, Daddy! It's you!" she squealed as she recognised me on one of the covers.

In the fraction of a second it took for me to look at the magazine, I hoped like hell it was the issue of _Woman's Idea _fromwhen Bella and I had gone for our joint interview. Instead, I found myself staring at the cover of _Gossip Weekly_ and the photo of me sandwiched between Vicky and Tanya—the two bitches who'd had a big hand in securing my public fall from grace.

I shoved the magazine to the bottom of the pile and tried to distract Phoebe with other stories. I resorted to looking at the Christmas edition of _Woman's Idea_; at least Christmas held positive memories for me. After all, it was when Bella had agreed to marry me.

Finally, Bella reappeared in the waiting room, looking like the world had been lifted from her shoulders. She gave me a small smile as she found her way over and sat on the chair beside me. "I'm sorry I dragged you away from your race meeting."

I put my hand up to silence her. "I wanted to be here." _For you._ "How is she?"

She rested her head against my shoulder. "She's fine. They are keeping her in just to be on the safe side, but the baby seems to be fine too."

"That's good," I murmured, knowing that Bella would have been close to inconsolable if Rosalie had lost her baby.

"Mum's asked if we want to stay at their house?" she whispered, knowing that under normal circumstances I would have preferred a hotel.

But I was well aware we weren't in Brisbane under normal circumstances. I nodded, knowing that accepting would mean that our accommodation would be one less thing for everyone to worry about.

Over the next few hours, Charlie drove home to get their spare child seat and then drove the three of us home. Then we had the news that Rosalie was being released from the hospital, and Renee refused to let Rosalie go home 'alone', despite the fact that Emmett wouldn't leave her side.

In the end, Bella and I went to Emmet's and Rosalie's house while everyone else stayed with Charlie and Renee. Because neither Bella nor I had eaten since before our flights, we grabbed take-out on the way to our temporary accommodation. We were all so exhausted that we crashed into bed almost the instant we had finished eating. Bella fell asleep quickly in my arms, drained from the stressful day she'd had. As I watched her sleeping, I rested my hand on her stomach, trying to imagine what it had been like when she had been pregnant with the twins. After experiencing her grief first hand over the course of the day, I was even more disappointed with myself than ever that I hadn't been there for her during that time.

I woke early the next day and caught a cab back to the airport, leaving Bella to spend some more time with her family. I arrived back at the track just in time to jump in my Mini for the second race of the meeting. It was a reverse grid race, so I had to fight my way through the pack. I came in third, but somehow I couldn't find the same enthusiasm that I'd enjoyed the previous day. Instead, my mind was filled with concern for Bella.

I rang Bella at her parents' on Saturday night, getting all the latest news on Rosalie. The doctors said that she was still high-risk and that she needed to relax, putting her fainting spell down to a combination of heat, exhaustion, and being pregnant.

I woke early on Sunday and dragged my ass to the track. My final race of the meeting was over before nine a.m., and I'd managed to wrestle another first place in that one. It meant that I was already in first place on the Mini Challenge leader board. I was able to muster a little more enthusiasm now that I had the knowledge that Rosalie—and therefore Bella—was alright. But I still missed Bella terribly and wanted to be with them. It was almost a relief when the weekend was finally over and it was time to go home.

~ 0 ~

**A/N: So I was a touch fail with my BPOV's last chap. The good news is I have sent them all out (DM me if you reviewed & didn't get it) the better news is that I have the one for the chapter written, so you should get it straight away if you review. **

**In the last chap I gave info about my Fandoms Fight the Flood pledge. Just to keep you informed, I have written two stories for it. One is an original O/S EPOV and the other is the EPOV of "My Masterpiece". **

**I hope everyone is safe & well. Till next time :D **


	13. Three day break

**Chapter 13: Three day break**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

~ 0 ~

Before I knew it, March was almost over—passing in a flash of repairs, race meets and a lot less time with the family than I would have liked. The F1 Grand Prix had raced past just like the rest of the month. Luckily for me, and for my honeymoon plans, I had taken pole position at the F1 Grand Prix in Melbourne. It meant I only needed one more pole out of my next two races to secure our getaway.

The end of March saw the arrival of Easter. During the lead up, it dawned on me that it was a year of firsts for me. This was to be my first Easter as a father, and I'd be damned if I was going to screw it up.

The Thursday before we broke for the long weekend was a particularly difficult one. It was the first of April—April fools. Around the workshop, there were countless opportunities for April fools pranks, and I had to stay on my toes the entire time. There was the glue on the seats, thumb-tacks in the tool box, and fake spiders on the toilet seat, to name just a few. The muffins Bella and I had made the previous night—baked with salt instead of sugar—went over a real treat in the staff kitchen at morning tea. I found myself still chuckling about the looks on everyone's face as I packed up for the day.

I had driven myself into work that day, so that I could hit the shops on the way home in preparation for my first Easter bunny gig. I had the whole scenario planned out in my head, and I hoped it would work exactly as I imagined. By the time I left the shop, I had four huge bags containing more chocolate than Phoebe could probably eat in a year, but I didn't care. I was going to make sure my little girl had an Easter to remember—screw the cost…and the consequences. As soon as I got home, I hid the bags at the top of the cupboards.

The long weekend was exactly the break I needed from my hectic schedule. It was the break we _all_ needed. On Good Friday, we all woke early and had hot-crossed buns for breakfast. Then the three of us headed to pick out one of the classic cars buried deep in my garage. I decided on the '67 Chevy Impala—black of course. Bella almost gagged when she saw the size of it.

"That's huge!" she exclaimed loudly. "How does it even fit through that gap?" she asked, pointing at the door to the garage.

"It's a tight squeeze, but the opening is a little wider than it looks," I said as seriously as I could. "You just have to pay extra attention as you slide it in." I couldn't stop the small chuckle that escaped me.

Bella looked at me quizzically, and I burst out laughing.

"What?" she asked.

I shook my head and tried to stop the laughter. Phoebe looked at me with confusion all over her face but giggled at my laughter.

Bella must have run through her words because just as my laughter died down, she giggled and shook her head. "You and your dirty mind!"

"You were the one who said it, baby."

"I was _talking _about the car." She was scarlet red as she quickly explained herself.

I stepped up to her, kissed her forehead and whispered, so quietly that only she would hear, "I know, but we can practise fitting other big things into small spaces later, if you like."

She slapped my chest lightly. "Let's just go."

I nodded and shifted the car seat from my Monaro to the Impala. Then I left Bella to load Phoebe into the car as I opened the roller-door.

"This is a big car, Daddy," Phoebe told me as I eased it out of the shed.

"It's a fast car too," I told her. "I'll show you later." I grinned at her in the rear-view mirror.

"No you won't," Bella said.

I pouted. "I'll take it on the highway. I'll make sure she's safe."

I eyed Bella out of the corner of my eye. "Please?"

She sighed.

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt either of you, but you gotta have a little fun, right?" I added a shrug and tried to throw her a smouldering look—anything to tilt the argument my way.

"We'll see."

I knew the conversation was closed, but I couldn't help spinning the tyres as I left the driveway—a grin planted firmly on my face. I hadn't had much of an opportunity to drive my other cars between my responsibilities at work and home, the study I had to do at Tafe for my apprenticeship and trying to assist in the planning of the wedding; Bella and I had agreed that I would be responsible for the music after I had begged…just a little. Now that the opportunity to put my foot down just a smidge had presented itself, I was going to take full advantage.

I stopped to fill the tank up-I tried to leave all my cars with minimal fuel so that it wouldn't go bad in the tank-and then we drove to the beach. I intentionally drove around the long way, ensuring I got to spend as much quality time as I could with my big, black beauty of a beast.

I spent the morning making sandcastles with Phoebe before she knocked them over or poured water on them, leaving them twisted and destroyed. Each time she busted one, I would pretend to chase her, and she would run away giggling. Bella sat on a blanket beside us, reading a book, catching some sun, and occasionally giving a suggestion for a better design.

Once Phoebe started to complain that she was hungry, we walked across the road to grab [J3] fish and chips for lunch. We sat watching the passers-by as we ate, talking about everything and nothing, just reconnecting in ways that we didn't get a chance to during a usually hectic week.

After we'd all finished eating, and waiting the appropriate time according to Bella, we returned to the beach for a splash in the waves. We spent the better part of a few hours in the sand and surf. The best part of the day was listening to Phoebe's squeals as she darted into the retreating water before running from it as the next wave came.

After we were all dried and had brushed all the sand off of us, we hopped back in the car and scouted for a restaurant for dinner. We picked a family friendly place that had an all you can eat buffet so that Phoebe could be as fussy as she liked but still get fed. We later drove home via the highways just to ensure I had plenty of time to give Phoebe a taste of just how fast the car could be.

As I carried Phoebe to bed, I realised it had been the best day I'd had in a long time. But more than that, I found myself regretting again that I had missed so many of the early days of Phoebe's life. And I felt a pang of something else, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. A little niggle in the pit of my stomach that had made my eye follow the path of the expectant mothers during the day. I was certain it was just lingering concern for Rosalie—even though she was fine.

I settled Phoebe into bed and then followed the sound of the shower to find Bella in our en suite. I stripped quietly before climbing into the shower and wrapping my arm around her. She jumped at my touch, and spun around in my arms.

"Sorry," she murmured. "You startled me."

"I didn't mean to." I pulled her into me.

"I was just distracted, I guess."

I glanced down at her naked chest before kissing the base of her neck. "I don't blame you," I whispered. "You're all wet after all. I find I get very easily distracted when you are all wet." I growled the last word against her skin. I had only joined her in order to rinse off, but I was quickly getting new ideas.

Bella mewed softly, and I took it as an acceptance to continue. I licked and sucked along her clavicle before kissing her neck softly. I traced a path up to the soft skin just underneath her ear,kissing it softly and then murmured, "Very distracted."

I ran my tongue along the shell of her ear, before breathing softly on her skin and relished the way she shivered against my body.

"But I don't find my wetness to be a distraction," she teased.

I ran my hands along the sides of her body, pushing against her and pinning her to the tiles. "Do you find my wetness distracting?"

She grinned wickedly and then shook her head.

I rested my lips against her ear and ran one hand down her body, cupping my hand against her pussy. "How about when I make _you_ wet, is that distracting?"

I slid my hand down her arousal, slipping two fingers inside and curling them around to rub gently within her. I pulled my face back from her delectable skin to ensure that she was satisfied. The look on her face was one of such ecstasy, that I knew I was welcome to continue. I trailed my free hand over her sides and across her breasts before trailing it down onto her stomach. Without removing my fingers or slowing their pace, I kissed my way down her body before finding myself almost eye to eye with the small scar on her stomach-the tiny reminder of her pregnancy. I traced a finger across it lightly, before kissing along her hip and touching my mouth to the apex of her thighs. I enjoyed the sensation of kissing her deeply while she raked her fingernails across my scalp. She was making such delectable sounds, which were amplified by the enclosed space of our en suite, that I was painfully hard long before I was done satisfying her.

I removed my fingers and trailed my way back up her body with my mouth. As I stood, I lifted her legs one at a time , wrapping them around my waist and positioning myself to plunge deep into her. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, and I pushed her upper body further into the tiles; her shoulders rested flush against the wall and her hips angled out perfectly toward me. I thrust into her hard and fast; my need for her driven by a desire for intimacy that I couldn't explain. I needed to be near her—and in her. I needed her to surround me completely. I just needed _her_. I clutched her hips tightly, pulling her ever closer to me, until she came undone in my arms and fell against me, spent and exhausted. Then I carried her to the bed and made love to her again.

~ 0 ~

Saturday, we spent the day around the house. I tinkered with a few of my cars as I had been champing at the bit to apply some of what I had learned since starting my apprenticeship. Phoebe trailed around behind me, wearing a set of little overalls with her hair in pigtails. I really enjoyed showing Phoebe a little bit more of that side of myself and was surprised about how proud I felt about the smallest things she did that demonstrated she was paying attention to me. Like when she explained to Bella what the rattle gun was for minutes after I had given a demonstration. I joked with her that she would be able to start an apprenticeship under me one day. The earnest look of pure excitement she gave me in response was enough to melt my heart.

~ 0 ~

I woke early on Sunday morning, and littered a course of Easter eggs around the house. I started with a trail of tiny eggs and powdered 'rabbit tracks' from her bedroom door, leading to slightly bigger eggs down the staircase and finally to a collection of large eggs and a rabbit in the living room.

I padded quietly back to the bedroom and waited for Phoebe to wake up. I knew the instant that she realised what was waiting outside her door—I think the whole neighbourhood did. She squealed excitedly and then ran into our room at top speed and skidded to a halt in front of our bed. She already had chocolate smeared across her mouth and a wide grin on her face.

"The Easter bunny came!" she shouted excitedly. "He left me lots of chocolates! They're all over the place! Come see!" She grabbed one of my hands and one of Bella's and pulled us from the bed. I wrapped my arms around Bella and walked in step with her. I was grinning widely because Bella had yet to see my handiwork.

"Oh my…" Bella gasped as we came to the staircase, and she saw the trail of eggs running down the stairs.

I suppressed a chuckle and released her in order to chase after Phoebe who was halfway down the stairs and babbling about the rest of the eggs she got. She stopped on each stair, picked up the egg and put it with the ever growing pile that she was gathering in the front of her nightgown.

Bella covered her face with her hands when she saw the contents of the living room. She spun toward me quickly, staring at me with one eyebrow cocked. "The Easter bunny really went over the top this year didn't he."

I shrugged.

"It's lots more than I got last year!" Phoebe exclaimed, picking up one of the giant rabbits that sat on the couch.

"How about you go and find them all and take them into the kitchen?" Bella said to Phoebe.

I turned to help, but Bella stopped me. "Daddy and I need to have a little talk."

I gulped as I spun back to Bella. She had her arms crossed and a "what the hell were you thinking" look on her face. I shrugged again and gave her an "I'm new to this and wanted to make it memorable, really…I'm innocent" look. We were certainly getting the non-verbal communication thing down pat.

I stepped closer to her. "I acknowledge I may have gone a little bit over the top," I murmured as I wrapped my arms around her waist. "But I couldn't help but get a little excited." I ducked my head to meet her eye.

Bella looked up at me, and I could see the shock and anger had melted away a little in the face of my admission. "She would have been happy with one or two eggs and then to just spend the day with you," she said exasperatedly.

I nodded. "I'm sorry. I promise I won't go quite so over the top next year."

"I'll hold you to it." She smiled, and I knew I was out of the doghouse.

We managed to convince Phoebe to put the chocolate down long enough to eat a healthy breakfast and get changed to ready ourselves for the arrival of our lunch guests.

Jasper and Alice arrived first. Phoebe practically threw herself into Alice's arms and wished her a happy Easter. Soon after, the rest of my motley crew, Embry, Paul, Quil, Tia, and Benjamin turned up. A couple of girls from Bella's work were the last ones to show. I immediately recognised one of them as the girl from the bar in London. I felt Bella bristle beside me as I said hello, but Leah seemed as willing as I was to put the incident behind us and not mention it at all.

I stoked up the BBQ and passed around a few beers. Before I knew it, there was a party in full swing.

I made sure I didn't leave all the hosting duties to Bella; instead I mingled and served drinks. I entertained Phoebe and got her to help me out a little-just simple things like grabbing food from the kitchen and drinks from the eskies. I noticed Bella approach Jasper and Alice and strike up a tentative conversation. I knew that Bella and Jasper would never be best friends, but at least they were being civil and trying to put their differences behind them.

At one point during the afternoon, I had Bella under one arm and the other around Phoebe. As I watched over our friends mingling with one another, I couldn't believe how shockingly and absolutely _domestic_ my life had become. As much as I would have been loath to admit it a few months earlier, I was in my fucking element and blissed the fuck out. Aside from a few special days with Bella and Phoebe, I couldn't think of a day when I'd had a better time.

When evening started to close in on our little party, most of the people started to leave; although Alice and Jasper stayed for the clean-up, which was greatly appreciated. After the paper plates were discarded and the dishwasher was running, Bella, Alice, and Phoebe raced upstairs for some girly shit to do with the wedding, so Jasper and I sat to have a beer.

"Man, can you believe how different your life is now?" he asked.

I laughed. "I was just thinking that earlier. Last Easter…" I trailed off with a shudder as I recalled the adventures of last Easter. Sure I'd thought it was fun at the time, but it just couldn't compare anymore.

"I'm thinking about doing it…" Jasper choked. His face was earnest, and he looked dreadfully afraid.

"Doing what exactly?" I had a suspicion, but I wanted to make him suffer.

"Asking Al…" he made that strange choking sound again, "to marry me." His voice squeaked as the last two words escaped past his lips.

I grinned. "I guarantee it'll be the best question you ever ask."

He sat bolt upright and choked a little more—I was beginning to wonder if I needed to take the 'big boy' drinks off him. "Holy fuck! When did my little Squirt grow up so much? I mean,sure you're getting married and all, but fuck to hear you talk about marriage as if it's the best thing in the world…and you aren't even married yet!"

I shrugged. "Man, marriage, kids, all that stuff. It's scary as fuck, but it's the biggest thing you will ever do with your life."

He laughed. "Seriously, who are you and what have you done with Edward Masen?"

I sat grinning like the cat that got the cream. "The Edward Masen you knew…is _gone_. I am the new and improved version."

"Well…new…" He sized me up. "Not sure about improved."

"Fuck you!" I punched his arm.

He laughed. "Fuck you!" He punched me back.

We fell into our old dynamic and had a mock-wrestle in the living room before the girls came down to break us up. As we said goodbye, Jasper turned to me. "I'll talk to you later for some more advice…about that thing."

Bella and Alice looked between us, puzzled, but I just nodded. "Anytime, dude."

Bella quizzed me after he'd left, but I didn't spill his secret. Over the years, he had protected so many details about my life. I figured I at least owed him the same courtesy.

~ 0 ~

On Monday, Bella and I took Phoebe to Luna Park. We had a great time—thanks in no small part to far too much fairy floss, dagwood dogs, and soft drinks. It was interesting to watch Phoebe on all the kiddie rides, but even more interesting to watch her sizing herself up against the adult rides and come away upset when she wasn't quite big enough for them. In order to give her some thrills, I took her on the Tumble Bug and then on the Rotor. Both Bella and Phoebe laughed as I wrestled against the forces sticking us to the wall to try to get sideways. Phoebe begged to go on it again, but she was already looking decidedly green, so we opted for the Ferris wheel instead.

After the Ferris wheel and the carousel, we went onto the bumper cars. The first time, I took Phoebe in the car with me and avoided the worst of the carnage. The second time, she was with Bella. I took great joy in ramming into the other cars, especially any that came too close to Bella and Phoebe.

Overall, the weekend was fan-fucking-tastic. I was glad for the respite and the breathing space with my family, because a little over a week after Easter, I was heading to New Zealand for the Hamilton 400. It would be an excruciating torture for me for three reasons; I would be away from my family, I would have to pit for James, and I wouldn't even have the luxury of the Mini to escape from his fuckery.

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Few terms to explain first: **

**Fairy floss is an Aussie word for cotton candy. http:/www(dot)funfloss(dot)com(dot)au/**

**Dagwood Dogs are kind of like corn dogs. http:/www(dot)keithsfoods(dot)com(dot)au/dagwood-dogs/**

**Luna Park is a fun park in Sydney. http:/www(dot)lunaparksydney(dot)com/visitor_info/rides_**

**The BPOV for this chapter is all done & rearing to go! I will have it out to everyone within 24 hours of receiving a review :D **

**A few pimps (some you have no doubt heard before, but that's because they are that good):**

**The Dark Muse by Alby Mangroves - dark, twisted, beautiful writing...what more can I say? Honestly, I am lucky enough to get some writing sessions in with Alby & from the very first tease I saw, I've loved this story.**

**Smoking in the Boys Room by CorrinaT - I love a good mind fuck but this story is a *great* one :D You'll want to smash B&E's heads together sometimes, but in the end you'll be a lover of button-fly's forever LOL**

**Blindsided by KatieWinkles - Bella, Rosalie & Alice with guns! They are smart, sassy oh and spies. This is a really fun, action filled fic. Get on early, there are only a few chapters up. **

**Evil Dead: Forks and Boomsticks by Manhoor and MPG, okay so a bit of shameless self-promotion here, but I really have fun writing this story with my hubs because it is a bit of a departure from my other stories. It's fun & frivilous & gory...I must mention the gore. It's a cross-over of Evil Dead & Twilight with all your favourite characters :D**


	14. Familiar Feeling

**Chapter 14: Familiar Feeling**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

~ 0 ~

The Hamilton 400 was horrid. James rode my ass the whole time, never letting the opportunity to insult me or Bella, pass. When we were around others, it always sounded mischievous and light-hearted, like when Jasper and I bantered, but as soon as we were alone—even momentarily—it took a darker turn. It took every ounce of my patience to not smack his smart-talking mouth.

It was hard, but somehow I managed to continue my resistance against assaulting him physically. I realised I had to fight him my own way—a way that wouldn't get me in trouble with the Cullen Racing brass—so I started tailing him to the nightclubs in town and cock-blocking him at every possible opportunity. After all, what we did in our own spare time had nothing to do with the team, so I had the opportunity to get my own back without repercussions—from the team at least. It didn't even affect my family moments because of the two hour time difference between New Zealand and Sydney. I was able to call home before I hit the town and again when I returned to the hotel.

He was so tense by the end of the weekend, it was hilarious. Especially so, because I knew he was heading home he was heading home to loneliness and an empty house, and I was going home to a lovely house, a beautiful daughter and a highly fuckable fiancée who had missed me terribly—she demonstrated just how 'terribly' during our late night phone calls. We had been practising our aural technique regularly and were at the point where it was as good as the real thing. Well, it was as good I could expect without any skin to skin contact.

On top of avoiding James at the track, and chasing him through the clubs, I spent the weekend trying to stay out of Jasper's way. He was wound tighter than a tin soldier over some plans he had for the trip. He wouldn't tell me exactly what was happening, but I knew he had arranged to stay a couple of days longer with Alice. They were heading to the Waitomo glow worm caves. He told me he had 'something special' planned for the trip. I figured that meant that somewhere beneath the dark earth, by the tiny light of thousands of glow worms, he was going to ask her a question that could change the course of both of their lives. If that was the case, I couldn't be happier for them.

My suspicions were confirmed a few days after arriving home when Alice called and squealed down the phone. She demanded I put Bella on the phone, and the two of them squealed to each other again. I rolled my eyes at Phoebe who giggled and reached out for me.

All I got in actual confirmation from Jasper was a text message. **I did it. Best Man?**

I laughed and texted back. **Definitely.**

~ 0 ~

April had headed toward May much too quickly. As such, Bella and I seemed to spend most of our time passing each other like ships in the night. I was putting in crazy hours at the "office", and whenever I was lucky enough to be home at a reasonable hour she was always on the phone with either Alice or Rosalie. Things started to look up a little when she booked flights to go to Brisbane when I raced at Ipswich—at Queensland Raceway, for the first time since I began crashing out—and I was ecstatic.

My excitement over her travelling to Brisbane with Phoebe was short-lived when I realised that she was going primarily to arrange some more of the finer details of the wedding—the things that were impossible to arrange over the phone. She and Rosalie had already lined up back to back meetings with the photographer to select the shots and locations for the photos, the bakery to choose the type of cake we would serve—I voted mud cake rather than that horrid fruit stuff-and with the decorators to pin down the colour for the bows for the fucking chairs or something.

It all boiled down to one simple truth; I wouldn't get any quality time with her despite being on our old home turf. I would have to relive so many memories while at the track—of crashing for the first time ever, of our date just a few short months earlier, of many visits during my youth—and I would have to do it all alone.

The team truck left for Ipswich on Wednesday, 28th April with Carlisle in tow. The rest of the crew were flying up on Thursday morning to meet up at the track. I got permission to drive up on Wednesday night rather than leaving with the rest of them. It was a hard decision, because it meant an extra day away from Bella and driving would take a little longer. It also meant I would have my own car, which hopefully meant I would be able to come and go from the track as I pleased.

The drive was long and lonely. I tried putting the radio on, but it did little to distract me from my thoughts. An uneasy feeling settled into me. I found myself stopping regularly, at every service station along the highway. I didn't want to be on the darkened road anymore, it was making me mad. Something began to eat away at my sanity, but for the life of me I had no idea what that "something" was.

As I drove, I longed for some kind of peace. I longed to see Bella by my side and Phoebe giggling at me from the rear seat. Instead the car was empty and silent. I drank more coffee and ate more shitty servo food than is probably healthy in a twelve-hour period. If I tried to think about my race, I inevitably became more wound up and would need to stop again.

When I arrived Thursday morning, I helped everyone with the set-up before heading to the hotel to sleep and prepare for my early start. I was due at the track for my first practise session at eight the following morning.

~ 0 ~

It was hard to put the memories of my first DNF out of my head as I drove around the all too familiar track of Queensland Raceway. The reasons for it I was now able to deal with; Bella was back by my side, Jake wasn't the love rival I had thought he was, and I had mostly come to terms with the stupid decisions I had made to get us to that point. But knowing the _reasons_ for my crash didn't help. The crash itself played over and over in my head. Back then if I had been killed in a crash, I probably would have welcomed death; but now I had too much to lose.

I tried to think of other times I had driven the track, like on my date with Bella, but it was no good. At the time, I'd had her presence in the car to distract me while I was driving. I didn't have that anymore. I had nothing in my Mini; except my own mind and the squawking of the radio to offer me companionship—my mind wasn't good company away from Bella.

I stumbled from the car once I got it off the track, feeling much worse for wear. My chest was tight, and I was beginning to feel the familiar feeling of constriction that had always pre-empted my panic attacks. I thought being on my home ground, so to speak, would help me. I thought Queensland Raceway would be the easiest track to conquer, instead it was overpowering me. I hoped to get the opportunity to prove myself on the track that was the most familiar to me of them all. However, it proved to have too many lingering ghosts.

After practise, I parked my Mini up and walked away from it for a while, knowing I only had a few hours to get my head back in the game before my next practice session. This race meeting was going to be an extra long one for me with four races in total-on top of the practices, qualifying and my usual pit crew duties.

I found the next practice just a little bit more calming. God knows how, but I managed to get around smoothly and without too much hassle. I began to find a groove on the track that I had missed during the first session, but I still felt wildly off task. I knew I should have been able to push it faster, but I just couldn't. I wasn't able to get my head into the game properly. Images of my first DNF along with the sounds of the car hitting the wall flooded my mind, and I felt like a failure. Those memories melded into the vision from my recurring nightmare of Bella being in the seat beside me. I couldn't get my head clear. I needed something, some kind of inner-peace that I'd managed to feign at other meets, but that had been impossible to even imagine since my horror drive from Sydney.

I went back to the hotel disappointed. Bella wasn't arriving in Brisbane until sometime on Saturday so I rang home. It was a quick conversation with both my girls before I was cast off the phone so that they could have some sleep before their early flight.

The next day, I just went through the motions. I survived the qualifying session and was not at all surprised when told I had qualified fifth. I could see the London dream slipping away. I had to get pole in Townsville or I was fucked.

I walked around like a fucking zombie the rest of the morning, doing what was required of me and nothing more. I didn't have the energy to try, and I just couldn't shake the dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Finally it was time for my first race. I had no idea how I was going to make it through. My stomach was wound up in knots, and I was a few short breaths away from a full-blown panic attack. Everything in my body told me not to get in the car, but I knew I needed to buck up and move past my demons if I was ever going to be successful at Queensland Raceway again. I couldn't ever expect to get back into a V8 if a simple race track could beat me.

I lined up on the grid and took a few deep breaths, running through my usual routine while the light was red. When the light turned green, I planted my foot and flicked through the gears. As the race wore on, I managed to get into the swing of things a little. I was actually jostling for third at turn six on the final lap when everything turned to shit.

The car beside me took too aggressive a line and raced through the corner with far too much speed. I felt his car nudge mine roughly and saw his tyre mount my wheel arch. I closed my eyes for a moment, knowing that this was what I had been afraid of the whole time, but thankfully when I opened them again a split-second later, my car was still on the track, still pointing in the right direction. I looked back to see what had become of my competitor, but he wasn't there. My eyes flicked back to the track, and I watched in horror as his car completed a roll before beginning to cartwheel toward the safety barrier.

My heart stopped as his Mini missed the barrier completely and sailed over the top of the fence that separated the crowd from the track. His car settled roughly in the middle of a scattering crowd. My heart raced and all I could think was that Bella could have easily been standing there. If she wasn't off doing her wedding stuff, she could have been standing in the path of that deadly weapon.

I managed to keep my wits about me enough to execute the final turns and finish the race, but my hands were shaking wickedly as I climbed out of the car. I raced to the fence-line separating the scrutineering field from the Paddock to find Alice—I knew she'd be all across the incident.

"How many people were-" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"I don't know Edward." She held out a mobile phone for me. "But I've got someone on the phone for you."

I grabbed the phone, knowing who it would be.

"I just heard about an accident or something there! Are you alright?"

I sighed in relief as Bella's voice washed over me. "Yes, baby, I'm fine. I wasn't involved." I didn't think I needed to clarify that I _was_ only seconds away from being involved.

"Oh, thank goodness." I could hear her physically slumping in relief over the phone. "Do you need me to come there?"

I debated being selfish for a moment and saying yes, but decided against it. "No, I'll be fine."

Alice looked at me sympathetically. She knew I wasn't _fine,_ but she also wouldn't argue with me or worry Bella unnecessarily.

"How did you hear about it so quickly?" I asked.

"I actually was on the phone with Alice about something else when she started swearing and shouting about a Mini that had crashed. God, I was so worried…"

_Me too, _I thought, but I didn't want to add to her concern.

"Actually, I needed to talk to you about something else too."

I knew from her tone of voice that now that she knew I was okay, she was back to business…wedding business.

"I finally got a call back from Miss Wendy, the dressmaker, she said she can fit me in this weekend, but it's got to be tonight. Is it okay if I meet you later on? Around eleven? Mum will come with me to look after Phoebe. If you need me to be there for you when you get back to the hotel, I'll tell her no."

I sighed and shook my head. "No, go, you should do this while we're here anyway. I'll see you later tonight."

"Thanks, Edward."

I plastered a smile on my face—I wondered if it looked as fake as it felt. "No problems."

My second race was an unqualified disaster; I was too afraid to go near another car for fear of being involved in another incident and breaking the car. I couldn't stand the humiliation if I was thrown out of the Mini. I took the pussy-line on every corner; breaking early and accelerating late. I hated myself for being unable to get past the worry, but I just couldn't find the thing that was missing.

After I finished at the track, and the Mini was wrapped up safely for the night, I headed toward Browns Plains. I had no idea where exactly I wanted to end up, but I felt the need to drive my old streets. I drove aimlessly until I pulled up in front of the Browns Plains cemetery. Once there, I knew my purpose. I knew why I had been unable to find peace; why my heart had felt clenched ever since my drive. Because the last time I had driven to Brisbane on my own, I was in the middle of a crisis. It had been a crisis of my own making and one that I had only gone part of the way toward fixing. I was certain I would be able to find peace where I always found it—with family. I climbed from the car and followed the familiar path toward the tiny cherub in the back rows.

Unlike previous visits, this wasn't one filled with sadness or a need to make amends. I was purely visiting my son to spend time with him. I ran my fingers along the little headstone and stood beside his grave for a few moments. Sitting on the marble of the headstone, right in front of the tiny cherub, were a few items that I assumed were the gifts Bella had left with Emmanuel before we'd moved to Sydney. Except the car she'd left to represent me was gone. Once upon a time, I probably would have taken that as an omen. Instead, I decided to see if it had fallen to the ground.

As I bent to look around the base, I briefly examined the other items that had been left. A purple plastic ring—the kind you get out of a twenty-cent machine. Despite it being faded by the sun, I recognised it as a gift I had given Bella the day after our first kiss. I felt my chest clench to know that she had kept it through everything I had put her through and that she had given it to Emmanuel as a keepsake. There was a tiny hospital band looped through it, but the weather had wrought a bit of damage on the paper inside so I couldn't tell whose it was.

I brushed a small pile of leaves off the corner of the marble at the base of his headstone, and my hand brushed across something solid and metal. I picked it up and turned it over in my hands. The little Commodore was decked out in red with a black lion's head and paw roaring along both sides—the traditional Cullen Racing design. The paint on the matchbox car was patchy, faded to a soft pink in a number of places. I had never been afraid when I drove its likeness, at least, not before my last race at Queensland Raceway.

I turned it over in my hands again and again as I wrestled with the best thing to say. I settled for, "Hi."

I sighed and sat down on the grass where I had lain in agony less than six months earlier. I stared at the little car in my hands. "I'm sorry I haven't been back to see you much lately. I hope you understand that we had to move to Sydney. Both Mummy's and Daddy's jobs needed us down there, but we haven't forgotten you. Not a day goes by when you aren't in our hearts. I just wanted you to know that."

I rested the car back in its rightful place and looked up at the cherub.

"You know, I really regret never getting the chance to meet you and that you never got the chance to live your life. I know I would have been proud of you. You would have been my little man. But I worry sometimes. I worry that you wouldn't have been proud of me." I stopped to inhale deeply.

"I worry that I can't be everything I need to be…for your Mummy and for Phoebe. Don't get me wrong, I love them both so much, and I'm never going to leave them again, but what if I fail them? What if I don't get a chance to be back in a V8? Or worse, what if I get kicked off the team entirely one day? What if James does something that I can't fight?"

I closed my eyes as the images from my dream assaulted me again, now with the vision of the Mini crashing into the crowd edited into the mix. I continued in a pained whisper, "What if something happens to your Mummy because of me? I don't know if I could live with myself."

I wrung my hands together and took another deep breath, before pausing to look around. The trees at the back of the cemetery rustled slightly with a soft breeze. It was such a peaceful place, which was strange because it was the worst place in the world in so many people's minds, and yet I found it calming.

As I listened to the utter peace in the darkening cemetery, a realisation struck me—as if whispered through the night. "You wouldn't actually care if I was kicked off the team…would you? You would be proud of me anyway." I felt a bubble of hope. "Phoebe and your Mummy would be too, wouldn't they? They wouldn't care if I was a mechanic at a country servo earning squat for the rest of my life, would they? As long as I was with them, and being the best father and husband I could be, they would be proud of me. Because that's what family is about."

I stood as my epiphany hit me. I felt an inner-peace unlike any I had ever experienced before. It didn't matter to my family if I won or lost. It didn't matter to them if I ever drove a V8 again. They supported my efforts because they wanted me to do it, for myself. I smiled widely at the little cherub. "I _can_ do this." I didn't know what _this_ meant—marriage, fatherhood, racing—it didn't matter because I had realised that I could do it—all of it. If I failed, my family would be there to help me through.

As I stood beside Emmanuel's grave, I couldn't help but think of my own father. He'd been making an effort to reach out to me, and I had been steadfastly ignoring his calls. I'd done that once before and, as I'd since discovered, it had disastrous consequences.

I said farewell and thank you to Emmanuel before walking back to my car. When I got there, I pulled out my mobile and rang a number which I had been pretending didn't exist.

"Dad? It's Edward…I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for a drink?"

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Caves where Jasper proposed: http:/www(dot)waitomo(dot)**

**The crash as described did genuinely happen on the track that day, here is the footage: http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=0bz-GMsbMbo&feature=related by some miracle, only two spectators were injured (minor) and the driver was unhurt.**


	15. Unexpected

**Chapter 15: Unexpected**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

~ 0 ~

The calm I had found at Emmanuel's side faded quickly as I edged closer to the city. I was going to see the man I had once admired and looked up to, but whom I had lost all respect for in one foul swoop. I didn't know if we would ever mend the bridge between us, but I knew I had to try. I had to be the bigger man and realise that family was what mattered in the world. It just might have been enough to push the demons from the track out of my mind for good.

I parked my car and walked to our agreed upon meeting place—an Irish pub on a busy corner in town. I think we secretly hoped that the loud music and busy atmosphere would help us to avoid having an in-depth conversation—at least that was certainly _my_ hope.

I breathed deeply as I approached the bar and saw his familiar outline waiting for me. I began to wonder whether I was making the right choice and was going to turn to leave before he had a chance to spot me. As if he'd sensed me behind him, or maybe because he was watching in the mirror behind the bar, he turned toward me before I could make my escape.

"Thank you…for…well…for…meeting with me…" he stammered. He offered me his hand for a handshake before deciding against it and leaned in for an awkward hug.

I stepped back quickly and held my hands up to him, palms facing out. Just seeing his face brought all my anger back to the surface. I may have been willing to try and be the better man, but I wasn't going to forget everything he had done. He had cheated on Mum; he had barged in on Bella when she was in the shower—accidental or not; he had allowed his whore of a girlfriend to sell me—his own son—out with a story that was utter bullshit. I wasn't about to _hug _him in greeting. "I may have suggested a meeting, but I'm not completely ready to jump back onto the father-son bandwagon," I told him.

"Then how do you see this playing out?" he asked.

I sighed. "I don't know. Maybe I made a mistake. I should go."

His hand reached out and grabbed my arm. "Don't. I need to talk to you about something. Please, just let me buy you a beer?"

Against my better judgement, I agreed. I slid onto the barstool beside him and ordered a Corona; if it was going on his tab it was going to be something better than a XXXX.

He asked about my race meeting, and I waved him off with an, "I really don't want to talk about it."

"I heard about the big crash today; someone died didn't they?"

I rolled my eyes. He always had to fucking exaggerate. "No, two spectators had minor injuries, and the driver was taken to hospital just in case."

Even as I started to explain the truth, his eyes began to wonder around the bar, he was clearly disinterested in everything I had to say. I followed his line of sight to a group of women in the corner. I couldn't believe I had ever looked up to him, or worse, that I had actually been like him.

He tried again to make some small talk, but I found that I just couldn't keep it up. It was too exhausting, because I had nothing I wanted to say to him.

"So, how are things at home for you?" His question surprised me.

"Terrific. Bella is the absolute best. I couldn't even imagine being with anyone else again." I answered sincerely but with a touch of venom in my voice. I honestly meant it, but I also wanted to let him know that _he_ was the one who had stuffed-up by cheating on his wife. He had made his bed.

"So you're not sick of being trapped?" He laughed, sickening me.

I clenched my fist. "I'm not _trapped_."

"Okay, so you're happy." He held his hand up in apology. "Then again, that little woman of yours certainly has a long list of assets." His smile appeared to look more like a leer in my mind.

I felt a wave of anger as the image of him watching her in the bathroom when she was pregnant grew in my mind. "Don't you _dare_ talk about Bella," I hissed.

He sighed. "Just sit and stay calm, will you please? I will not have you making another scene like the one at the café."

"_I_ made a scene?" I scoffed. "_You_ were the one that was all over a two-bit whore who is_ younger than me_!" I was shaking with rage and trying very hard to calm down. The last time I lost my temper with Dad was when he'd made up his mind to sell me out—or at least when he'd justified it to himself. I shook my head and turned away. "This was a fucking mistake."

"Edward, wait!" he cried desperately. "I need a favour."

I shook my head without looking back at him.

"I need you to make a statutory declaration that your mother stole the funds in our joint account."

I was livid. I turned back to him in shock, my rage mixed equally with disbelief. "What?"

"I have nothing, Son. _Nothing_. I can't even get a job. All I want is my half of what was in that account."

I laughed. "You're pathetic. You really want me to dob on Mum? You really think I _ever_ would? Anything you got out of this, you deserve."

"I think Jessie is thinking about leaving me; especially now that my account is running low." His voice was pure desperation.

I wasn't surprised by the fact that he had all but admitted having a hidden account; I wouldn't have been surprised if he had a handful of them. However, the fact that he honestly thought he had some claim over the money Mum took—money that I had no doubt he rightfully owed Mum—blew me away. To try to use me to steal half of it, and set Mum up as some kind of criminal, just pissed me off. "Not in a million years. And if that gold-digging whore leaves you, I think you should consider yourself lucky."

"How dare you!" he roared. "I don't care what you say about me, but you _will_ stop calling Jessie such horrid names."

Half the bar was watching us, but I didn't care.

"You had a perfectly good, loving, beautiful woman waiting at home for you every night, but you treated her like shit and fucked scum like Jessica fucking Stanley. That's how dare I! How could you even think I would _ever _turn my back on Mum in support of you and that little slut?"

I turned and stalked from the bar before I could do something that I would really regret; something that might give Carlisle a reason for kicking me off the team.

I raced to my car as quickly as I could. I ripped the door open and slid into the seat before slamming it shut.

_Where in the hell does he get off?_

I should have known better than to try to see my scumbag father. There was an old saying I'd heard a hundred times, "let sleeping dogs lie." I suddenly understood the exact meaning behind it. I sat in the car and waited, trying to calm down. The hood light clicked off after a few minutes, but I was still livid and breathing heavily.

I had finally managed to find a calm and was ready to race after my visit with Emmanuel. Yet, a few seconds spent in Dad's presence, and it had all been completely erased.

I thought about Bella, and how she had been encouraging me to take the step toward forgiving Dad. She had argued that I needed to look at Phoebe and decide if I would want her to forgive me if I fucked-up badly. I already had and hoped that she would in the long run.

I didn't know if I could tell Bella about my failed attempt. I would have to admit just how big a piece of scum I came from. How could I have been certain that no more of his shittiness rubbed off on me? I decided I didn't need to make a choice just yet. I wasn't sure what time Bella was due back from her fitting, and I wasn't even sure she'd bother coming all the way to Ipswich if she finished up too late.

I took another couple of deep breaths to try to calm down a little more before finally putting the car in gear and head back to my empty hotel room.

_It's times like these I could use a drink, _I thought to myself, even while knowing I could never go back to using alcohol to dull my anger.

~ 0 ~

"Edward?" A hushed whisper echoed through my dreams. A giggle followed.

I mumbled something incoherent, not completely awake.

There was a bang and then another giggle.

"Bella?" I tried to see through the thick night. "Is that you?"

A third giggle burst from the dark shadow in the middle of the room.

I was about to climb from bed when the shadow suddenly ran toward me at full steam. She leapt onto the bed with a bang at the last moment. She knelt on top of the covers of the bed, pinning me beneath them.

"Hi," Bella giggled.

I chuckled in response. I had missed her so much and after the fucked-up evening I'd had, her silliness was welcome, even if it was a little unexpected.

She leaned her face into mine, and I was treated with the scent of champagne. "I bumped into something before." She giggled again.

Because of her proximity, her hair fell into my eyes and across my face. I tucked it gently behind her ear and cupped her cheek. She crinkled her nose and grinned at me.

"Bella…are you drunk?" I asked, unable to hide the amusement in my voice.

She shook her head, taking my hand with her. "Nah'm not drunk, I'm just really happy to see you, baby!"

I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing at her again. I gently placed my free hand on her other cheek guiding her face back toward mine, in an attemptto refocus her attention on me. "Bella, baby, where's Phoebe?"

She stared at me before turning her head to the door. "Mum!" she exclaimed suddenly turning back to me. "Mum's got her. I was worried about you when they were squeezing me into my dress, so they gave me some wine." She closed her eyes and licked her lips. "It was really yummy," she whispered as if it was a secret. "Then Mum took Phoebe to her house. And Alice took me here."

"Did you have fun?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I was worried about you." She brushed her face along my neck.

"I know. I was worried about you too."

"I wish I could have been there today."

"No!" I exclaimed, startling her. She sat up and gave a small cry of surprise. I wrapped her up in my arms again. "Sorry, just the thought of you being anywhere near that out of control Mini…" I held her tightly.

"I'm safe. I'm here."

"I know," I whispered against her hair. "I can't tell you how glad I am about that."

She obviously sensed I needed a change in the conversation, or maybe she was upset about losing her buzz, because she shifted her body so that she was sitting on the blankets on top of my hips. She leaned down on her elbows with her face so close to mine. Her hair fell around both our faces, enclosing us in our own private world.

"How are you?" she asked.

Flashes of the disastrous meeting with my father crossed my mind. "Don't ask."

She frowned.

"I'll tell you about it later."

I could see she was going to ask more, so I cupped her face gently and guided her lips to mine. I kissed her passionately, and she moaned loudly in response.

She laughed as she pulled away. "You don't want to tell me."

I grinned. "I didn't think I was making it that obvious."

She giggled before leaning back in to kiss me again before pulling away. "That's not the only think you are making obvious." She wiggled her hips, rubbing herself against the boner that was growing steadily.

"Well can you blame me when a drunk, sexy woman just crashed into my bedroom and climbed on top of me."

"Told you I'm not drunk."

"Ah, maybe not completely, but you _are_ sexy."

She smiled. "You think I'm sexy?" She sat up and ran her hands across her breasts and down her body.

"Fuck yeah, I do."

She leaned into me again. "I think you're sexy too."

I smirked. "I know."

She smacked my chest lightly but left her hand where it landed. I felt her fingers splay on my naked chest. She looked down at her hand in deep concentration.

I lifted one hand and clasped her fingers. "Something on your mind?"

"I'm just wondering how far down this skin goes."

I chuckled. "All the way to my toes."

"I meant without being covered."

I grinned. "All the way to my toes."

She gasped. "You're naked under there?" She wrinkled her nose.

I laughed. "I will be by the time _you_ get under the covers."

She laughed loudly and kissed me again. As she was focused on the kiss, I grabbed her shoulders and flipped her so that she was beneath me. In one movement, I pushed my satin boxers down to my ankles and knelt in front of her, my hard-on reaching out for her through the night.

"See," I said, waving my hand over my body.

She blushed lightly—something I knew I would never tire of—and bit her lip as she eyed my body. I put my thumb beside her mouth. "Don't tease me like that."

She gazed up at me and licked her lips. "Like what?" She turned her head and took my thumb into her mouth.

I closed my eyes and moaned as she sucked my thumb in and out of her mouth. "Like that," I groaned.

"Who said I'm teasing?"

I growled as she scooted up the bed a little, resting against the bed head. Then her hands reached forward to grasp my hips and guide me toward her mouth. I clasped the wood behind her as she sucked my length into her. I passed control of my hips over to her, closing my eyes and relishing in the sensation.

She hummed around me, and I groaned in response. She certainly knew the right way to get my mind off shitty evenings. I kept one hand tightly gripping to the bed head while the other gently traced through her hair. I tried to express how fucking good it felt, but was largely past words.

Bella giggled again and pushed me away from her a little. She licked and sucked her way up my body before reaching my mouth and kissing me deeply. My hands travelled to the hemline of the dress she was wearing, and I pulled it over her head in one tug. My fingers made light work of her bra, and I tossed it across the hotel room. I tasted her greedily, needing to take every part of her in.

I pulled off her panties and helped her gently back onto the bed, lying my body gingerly over hers.

She looked up at me and laughed. "You're just taking advantage of me 'cause I'm drunk."

I shook my head. "You're not drunk."

She smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned my face and traced my nose gently along her jawline before kissing her softly. My hands and lips began to roam her skin possessively, claiming every inch of her as mine. I wanted to ensure she understood just how much I adored her as I slid myself into her.

She moaned as I filled her completely and then again as we moved in rhythm together. We loved each other absolutely, harmonizing together and rolling from side to side in a battle for dominance.

We both burst out laughing when we'd rolled off the bed.

After we'd both taken each other to satisfaction, I slid down her body and rested my head on her chest-both still panting and laughing. A few moments later, once our breathing had calmed and our laughter had died down, we began to talk about our days. I told her about my fears on the racetrack, and she told me about the photographers and wedding cake.

I told her about my visit to Emmanuel's grave, and she seemed genuinely touched that I would even consider visiting on my own. I still couldn't tell her about meeting my father, at least not just yet.

"How's Rosalie?" I asked, both out of curiosity and to turn the subject away from my evening.

Bella chuckled. "She's doing great. She's getting really fat now. It's so funny to see Emmett doting over her at every turn. Not that he didn't always dote on her, but somehow it's just different now."

I touched the scar on her stomach lightly. "Will it be different for us when we have more kids?"

Her body jumped lightly before stiffening.

I pushed up onto my elbows to look at her face. Concern and stress were evident across all of her features. Her eyes sought mine out, fear and desperation dwelling in their depths.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth," she whispered.

I shrugged. "A lot has changed for me over the past few months."

"Oh, God," she muttered.

"Bella, what is it?" Her body was so tense, and her eyes so afraid that she was starting to scare me. I quickly scrambled up her body to touch her face. I cupped one of her cheeks delicately.

"Nothing's changed for me." Her voice was quiet and her words broken.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want any more kids, Edward." She sounded like she was close to tears.

"What?" I was absolutely confused. "But you always wanted a big family. We broke up because you wanted kids…and I didn't." _And because I was a fucking fool_.

"That was before…" She closed her eyes and scrunched her face in pain. "After…_the twins_…" She stopped and took a deep breath before opening her eyes again. As her eyes found mine, she whispered. "I just don't know if I can go through that again."

I pulled myself up into a sitting position and helped Bella to sit beside me. I wrapped my arm around her, and we leaned into the side of the bed. "But you wouldn't be going through it alone," I murmured. I couldn't explain the feeling of loss that had settled over me at the thought that we might not have any more kids. At some point having to speedily adjust to Phoebe's presence in my life had become a genuine desire to have kids; lots of kids. I hadn't realised just how badly—or how soon—I wanted it to happen until Bella said she didn't feel the same way.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I just…I thought you knew…" she sobbed lightly against me. "I didn't think you wanted any more either."

"I guess I never thought…" I was mentally pounding my head against the wall for being so stupid and tactless when raising the issue. I had assumed that nothing had changed for her since high school.

She went to apologise again, but I cut her off. "We don't need to talk about it anymore tonight."

She sobbed a little more, until I picked her up off the floor and carried her into the en-suite where I ran a warm bath. I helped her in and then climbed in behind her. I didn't say anything as I gently massaged her back, trying to bring us back to where we were before I had shot off my damn stupid fucking mouth.

After we'd climbed out, we wrapped ourselves up in the huge fluffy hotel bathrobes and fell asleep in a tangle of limbs and terry-towelling.

~ 0 ~

I left Bella asleep in the hotel room to head to the track early on Sunday.

Somewhat surprisingly, giving the fucked-up night I'd had, I successfully managed to put the negatives from the previous evening behind me and clung tightly to the positives. Dad, kids, everything else, could wait for another day. I was determined to prove to myself that I could win at Queensland Raceway again. I knew it didn't matter to Bella or Phoebe how I went which somehow spurred me on more. I wanted nothing less than first. Not because they wanted me to get it, but because I wanted to get it for them. It made all the difference to my on-track performance, and I got my desire, claiming victory in the third race.

The fourth race managed to rattle me a little when another car speared off the track. Worse, it happened at the same corner that the Mini from race one had lost control. Luckily, the driver hadn't leapt the guardrail like the previous incident, and no one was hurt. I held on to my sanity and finished in second.

I ended the weekend just a handful of points behind Andersen in the Mini Challenge leadership table, with four rounds left to race. I had one last chance to claim pole to be able to take Bella to London for our honeymoon, but unfortunately I had to get through Tasmania and Darwin first. No Mini, no family, just me alone with James and the rest of the Cullen Racing team.

Then there was the birthday party Bella was planning for Phoebe. Twenty four-year-olds running around my former bachelor pad.

I honestly wasn't sure which of the events would be worse.

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Pub where RCE & Eddie Snr met is a real place. I was going to link you to the website, but it's now under construction :( I know so many of you wanted to see a happy reunion with dear old dad, but some people are just tools. **

**Sorry for taking so long getting the BPOV (or well technically James POV scenes) out. I'll try to get the BPOV out a little quicker this time.**

**Thank you to everyone who is reading, reviewing &/or reccing my little story **


	16. Party

**Chapter 16: Party**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

~ 0 ~

"So did you get the information we needed?"

Jasper chuckled down the phone. "Oh, I got it alright."

I smiled to myself just as squeals of glee echoed from the backyard, reminding me of the party in full swing—the party that I was taking a quick breather from. I watched from the bedroom window as Bella herded the screaming mass of children around the jumping castle, trampoline, and bubble machine. As if she could feel me watching, Bella's head tilted up to glance at the window. I gave her a smile and a small wave, and though she smiled back at me, I could tell she was exhausted.

I tried to concentrate on the call because Jasper was talking again, running through some of the details that he'd been able to find out from Alice.

It had been a good thing I'd called him while she was otherwise indisposed, or we would have never been able to have the in-depth conversation. Although, in truth, it didn't take very long for it to steer off our expectations of our upcoming plans and onto complaining about James who was snapping at Jasper's heels in the championship. I was torn between wanting Cullen Racing to win the team trophy—which meant both Jasper and James needed to rank as high as they could—and wanting James to come dead last. Of course, I had no real control over the situation so I just had to bear it either way.

Jasper and I finished our little anti-James rant and said our goodbyes. There was no reason for a drawn out conversation, as I would be seeing him later that evening. He had volunteered to stay away from Phoebe's party so as not to put extra stress on Bella, although secretly I think he just wanted to stay as far away from the hoard of screaming children as possible. Instead he would be coming around after the kids left-for my part of the celebration.

Before heading back to the party, I made another call—to Carlisle. In truth, this call was the real reason I was allowed a moment away from my party hosting duties, but I'd wanted to take the opportunity to call Jasper first.

I dialled Carlisle's number and explained what I wanted. He agreed readily, but listed out a series of rules and requirements to which I agreed to quickly, knowing the reason behind them instinctively.

I said thank you and goodbye to Carlisle before heading back down to rescue Bella from the rampaging horde, collecting a few stragglers lost in the house on my way. Alice—who was in the kitchen helping out our latest arrival, Jake—called out as I passed to let me know that it was time for cake. I had to laugh when I thought about Jake and his obsession with all things Cullen Racing; I hadn't seen Alice anywhere this morning without him glued to her side.

Initially, I had been a little surprised when Bella had told me that Jake was coming down for Phoebe's birthday. She'd sprung it on me just after my time in Tasmania—time that would have been nicer if I'd spent it in Hell. After letting me know that Jake was coming down, she'd explained that he hadn't missed one yet and really didn't want to miss this one either. He had offered to stay in a hotel, but Bella and I had agreed that he should stay with us. After all, I had come to realise I owed the life I had to him. If he hadn't left Phoebe's birth certificate on my doorstep, I might have never found the courage to fight for Bella. I owed a lot to him; it just took me a while to realise it.

I found Bella near the back door, taking a quiet breather herself.

"So?" she asked, wrapping her arm around me. "Is it all arranged?"

I nodded. "There are a few rules, but nothing too outrageous."

She smiled. "Thank you." She kissed my cheek as I hugged her gently.

"No problems." I grinned. "It might even be fun. But for now…" I headed in Phoebe's direction before turning back to Bella briefly. "I have a birthday girl to catch."

I ran off and scooped Phoebe up in my arms. She squealed with laughter as I tickled her stomach before lifting her onto my shoulders.

"You ready for cake, Princess?" I asked.

She screamed out, "Yes!"

I grabbed her stomach and flipped her until her feet were back on the ground. "Go gather everyone up then."

She raced off and gathered up her friends. The rest of the afternoon was filled with cake, games, and lollies, resulting in about twenty hyperactive kids.

I put in my share of face time with the other parents, encountering every reaction from awe to indifference. I think in general most were surprised that Phoebe's father was well, me. By the time the parent's took their children home the sugar-high was wearing off, and I had no doubt the kids would fall asleep in the car.

But for us, the evening was just starting. Since I was going to be in Darwin for my birthday, we were having an early bash for me. We had agreed that Jake would get Phoebe settled so that Bella and I could just relax and enjoy the night.

We'd settled on having an intimate dinner with just a few friends around-my pit crew mates, plus Alice and Jasper. It was quiet and low-key, but the drinks flowed readily and I had a good time. Once Phoebe was settled and Jake joined the table, I thought he was going to have a heart attack; he was so excited. I had a moment of worry when Bella asked whether Jake was coming to my bachelor party. I had to shift the conversation quickly onto another path. It wasn't that I didn't want Jake there per say, just that he would make my plans a whole lot more difficult.

~ 0 ~

"I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone else," Bella said, biting her lip and offering me a sizable box, gift-wrapped in gold wrapping paper. "Just in case…"

I furrowed my brow. "In case of what exactly?"

"In case you don't like it," she whispered, looking at me with such vulnerability, I almost wanted to throw the box aside and take _her_ as my present instead.

"Why wouldn't I like it?" I put the box on the bed beside me and pulled Bella onto my lap.

She shrugged and rested her head against my chest. "Why don't you just open it and see?" she murmured.

I was starting to get worried about what she might have bought me, so I turned our bodies so that I could reach over Bella to unwrap her gift. I pulled the paper off slowly. The box was blank and gave away nothing about its contents. I gently opened the top of the box, still uncertain about what it could contain. I found a genuine race spec helmet inside. It was the same brand that we used at Cullen Racing, but so different to any I had seen before. It wasn't the style or even the shape that was different. Instead, it was the decoration. The helmet was completely black, rather than the usual red, and instead of the lion and sponsor's logos, I could see the top of two horses airbrushed onto the back.

My arms were still wrapped around Bella as I pulled the helmet out and turned it from one side to the other to inspect it. One of the horses was airbrushed in pinks and purples of varying shades, all blending together seamlessly. The other was painted almost identically, but in greens and blues. The thing that struck me the most though, was that it was an almost perfect duplicate of my tattoo. I brushed my fingers over the horses one by one, surprised by how seamlessly they had been integrated into the helmet. I could feel Bella stiffening under my silent appraisal of her gift.

"Baby…" I couldn't continue as my voice chose that moment to give out. I swallowed the emotion that was blocking my throat. "It's beautiful."

"I thought of it after you told me about your visit to Emmy's grave. I thought it would be a good reminder of why you _want_ to get in the car each meet. But I wasn't sure if you would want it or not though."

"I do, I would be honoured to wear this…if I am allowed." I wasn't sure whether Carlisle would allow me to wear something that wasn't team colours.

"Carlisle will," Bella whispered. "He actually really liked the idea…I'm sorry I went behind your back to ask him, but I just wanted to make sure the helmet was the right one, just in case you did like it."

"Like it? Babe, I love it." I held the helmet in one hand and used the other to pull her tighter into me. "Thank you."

I felt her sigh of relief and stifled a laugh. She had given me something so personal, so perfect, how could I _not_ love it?

~ 0 ~

Jake sat in the car beside me grinning from ear to ear. I had never seen a grown man so excited. I was certain if I looked at his crotch—which wasn't going to happen—he would be sporting a massive hard-on. Bella had begged me to give him this experience. She'd told me again and again just how badly he'd wanted it, but I hadn't really believed just how desperately until that moment. I was granting a request from Bella; it was something she'd suggested and something I had been more than willing to give him, I just hadn't understood how much it meant to him.

"Now remember," I said, trying to break the silence, "no cameras and no recording equipment of any kind."

Jake nodded and smiled stupidly back at me.

"You'll need to surrender your mobile phone until it's over."

He nodded again.

"You'll have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

He grinned wider. "I can't believe this is really happening!"

I couldn't help grinning back. "It's really not that big a deal."

"Are you kidding? It's a huge deal!"

"It's nothing," I murmured again, suddenly embarrassed about how excited he was. I acted like it was nothing because to me, it wasn't a big deal. It was something I did all the time and perhaps I had become a little bit blasé about it.

I pulled into the parking lot at work. "Okay, are you ready to do this?"

He looked through the front of the windscreen as if he was viewing the gates of heaven. "I was born ready."

I thought he might wet himself as we walked through the doors and I directed him to security. Once he had the pass, I led him to Carlisle's office. He spent the whole time glancing one way and another; it was almost like his head was on a stick, swivelling from one side to another quickly.

Carlisle ran through the formalities , getting Jake to sign off on the NDA and then they started talking about some new development that was installed on the V8 at the beginning of the year. I knew a thing or two about cars, and, since my apprenticeship a lot about motors, but I had no idea about what the two of them were discussing.

They spent about ten minutes talking about aerodynamics and downforce before Carlisle said, "You've got some great ideas you know. Have you ever thought about relocating to Sydney?"

Jake grinned widely. "Once or twice."

"Well, send your resume to this address," Carlisle slid across a business card, "and we'll see if we have something open in R&D."

I realised that they were finished with their conversation, and I joined back in as Carlisle welcomed Jake again and dismissed us from the office.

"Oh, Edward?" Carlisle called as my hand was on the doorknob.

"Yeah?" I turned back to him.

"Jake knows your boys right?"

I nodded.

"Well, get him settled in with them and then come back up to see me. I have something I want to discuss with you in private."

I nodded again. As soon as my back was to Carlisle, I swallowed heavily. I had no idea what he wanted to discuss, but 'in private' didn't sound great.

I did as Carlisle asked and took Jake to get him settled with my boys before returning to Carlisle's office. I didn't even get the chance to ask what he wanted before he waved his hand at a seat.

"Sit."

I knew it was an instruction, not a request, so I complied.

"I have some news for you."

I wanted to ask him to elaborate. I needed to know if it was good news or bad news. I nodded in an attempt to get him to keep talking.

"I've had a couple of sponsors call up recently, who are very interested in getting behind you."

My heart stopped beating for a second or two as the implications of what he was telling me sunk in. His words from when he offered me the apprenticeship came back into my mind, "_I can't have you race for my team, Edward. Your latest series of stunts, whether true or not, have generated too much bad press. The sponsors that bring in the most amount of money are the family friendly ones. You just don't have anything to offer in that department_."

"Who?" I asked timidly.

He rattled them off quickly and I had to stifle my grin. One of them was a company that had backed me before…well before everything turned to shit. If they were willing to get behind me, well, it boded very well for me. But I tried not to get my hopes up too much; it didn't necessarily mean anything yet.

"From Townsville, your Mini Challenge vehicle will have corporate support."

I grinned. It may have been a small step, but it was a step in the right direction. It meant that I was getting attention again, positive attention, and that put me closer to the driver's seat of a V8.

Carlisle's surprises weren't finished yet. He slid a small pile of paperwork over to me.

I picked it up curiously. "What's this?" The question had fallen from my lips before I ever had a chance to think it through.

"It's a temporary driver's contract. By signing that, you are agreeing to drive one of our V8's during the endurance races."

"Holy fuck!" We'd discussed the possibility of me being the second driver in Jasper's car, but seeing it printed in black and white made it feel real.

"Take it home and read it over, if you are amenable to all the terms…you're in."

I practically jumped for joy. "I'm in?" I couldn't believe how fucking happy those two words made me.

Carlisle chuckled. "I imagine there is a phone call you want to make?"

I nodded, and thanked him for giving me the chance to prove myself. I took the contract—I was going to hold that sucker tightly—and ran off to ring Bella and give her the good news.

~ 0 ~

Jake was almost as thrilled as Bella had been when I told him my news in the car. I had debated glossing over the subject, but then I decided if I was going to make a legitimate effort to be friends with him, I needed to be genuine. I needed to be open and honest, and that meant allowing him to celebrate and commiserate with me.

In the car, he'd asked me about the bachelor party.

"I get it if you don't want me to come man, but if it's 'cause you think I'll be uncomfortable in a strip club…don't be. Just 'cause I like dick, doesn't mean I can't appreciate the occasional fine female form."

Oh god, how to explain it to him…he was still Bella's friend after all. "It's not that, seriously it's not. I'm just…not having a bachelor party. I haven't told Bella 'cause I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable that she is having one."

He laughed. "Oh my god, _the_ Edward Masen, eternal bachelor and ladies' man, isn't having a last hurrah before walking down the aisle?"

I shrugged. "I had my last hurrah long ago, when I asked Bella to move in with me. I haven't been interested in being the 'eternal bachelor' since then."

His nose wrinkled and I could have sworn he was about to say something along the lines of 'that's so sweet', but I shot him a look to shut him up.

"Fair enough," he said diplomatically. "But seriously, thanks for today. It was great."

"Are you going to send in your resume?"

He shrugged. "Maybe…would you mind if I moved to Sydney?"

"It's your life. You need to seize any opportunity you want." I took a deep breath. "I know the girls would love to have you closer."

He smiled. "You really have changed…"

I shrugged.

"I'll think about it, just don't tell Bella yet, hey? I wouldn't want to get her hopes up."

"Sure thing…as long as you don't tell her about the no bachelor party thing."

He laughed. "You are the only bloke I know who is worried about being caught out _not _wanting to see strippers."

~ 0 ~

Despite how good my birthday bash had been, and how much fun we'd had in the lead-up to leaving for Darwin, my actual birthday weekend was fucking shit. It was stinking hot on the track all weekend with the afternoon temperatures in excess of 30 degrees Celsius in the shade-in the pits it was closer to 40.

James had given me shit from the moment I'd arrived in Darwin. I tried to put him out of my mind as best as I was able, but it was difficult because he qualified in pole position. Then he had gone on to win the first race which put him in the championship lead. My Saturday couldn't have been worse.

Alice, Jasper and I had dinner together in my hotel room. I told Jasper in no uncertain terms that beating James on my birthday would be the best present he could possibly give me. He'd laughed and told me that it was one birthday wish he was more than happy to grant. We had a few quiet drinks before I told them to get the fuck out of my room, because it was time to call Bella.

Bella and I spoke for an hour before our call slowly became hotter and heavier. I palmed myself anxiously as she talked me through what she was doing to herself. Needless to say, I wanted a live-action replay when I got home.

James came into the pits early on Sunday morning with some dirty skank. He'd announced that she was my 'birthday present' and that he'd warmed her up for me 'all night long'. The worst part was the chick actually thought he was serious and all but threw herself at me. I told her to get the fuck off me, but not before she'd managed to grope me with her fucking quick hands.

James thought it was fucking hilarious and had his phone in hand taking a series of photos as I tried to get the bitch to back the fuck up. A few months earlier, I might have been worried about Bella seeing the photos, but with her knowledge of James' sneaky tricks and the, no doubt, disgusted look on my face, I wasn't overly anxious. I was more concerned with the fact that James wouldn't just leave me alone to do my fucking job.

Jasper had won on Sunday. With his win, and James' fourth position, he'd wrestled back control of the championship.

I could only see a handful of positives coming from the weekend. It was my last race meeting without my Mini until after the wedding. Jasper had retained the championship lead, and my stag night was just two weeks away—even though I wasn't having one.

~ 0 ~


	17. She Rides

**Chapter 17: She Rides**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

~ 0 ~

My leg bounced nervously as I waited my turn. I couldn't think about what I was wearing or I would die of embarrassment. The lights from the stage alternated randomly from red to blue to yellow—a never ending rainbow of illumination. The colours twisted sickeningly as they reflected off Jasper's outfit, which gave me another reason not to look at him. As if I _needed _another reason. As if his outfit itself wasn't enough to ensure that I didn't even glance in his direction.

I was still amazed at how easy it had been to get Jasper onside when I'd told him my idea. All I'd had to do was remind him what Alice would be doing at Bella's bachelorette party, and he'd jumped right onboard. But he'd surprised me when he'd suggested he go alongside me or more precisely _before_ me.

Alice was a little bit more difficult, but she was the key to everything. I knew that unless I could win her over, I didn't really stand a chance of pulling off my planned coup. While finalising arrangements with Jasper, I had realised she had full access to the information I needed, and would be more likely to share it with me than Rosalie. I hadn't approached her until the Darwin races. When she was on a high about Jasper's win, I struck. I'd sworn her to secrecy before I even told her what I was planning. But once I had spilled the beans about what I wanted to do, she had laughed. Then I told her that if I didn't do this, Jasper would probably organise me a proper bachelor party…and who knew what would happen then? I wasn't sure whether it was the thought of Jasper's participation or my humiliation which caused her to agree in the end. I didn't really care, because I got my wish. Although, I was seriously fucking regretting making the decision, but it was way too late to back out.

The music started, and I rolled my eyes at Jasper's choice. How fucking predictable. He was using the whole 'country-boy' thing to his advantage. Honestly if the guy wasn't a fucking great driver, he probably could have turned a dollar or two doing what he was about to go out and do for free.

As he stood he leaned over to me. "You owe me for this. Big time."

I turned my gaze away so that he couldn't see me biting my lip to stop from laughing at his outfit. I was also turning so that I didn't have to look at said outfit. Under no circumstances should shiny, silver chaps ever be allowed to be worn on a man. Not ever. Especially not shiny, silver chaps with fucking tassels down the side. And then there was the matching silver glitter cowboy hat. Why he'd pick that costume was far beyond me. Maybe it had just been a deep-seeded desire of his to be a fucking shiny wannabe-cowboy. I just hoped the black mask around his eyes would stop Bella from recognising him long enough for me to get out there.

As the first chorus of Jasper's song started, I heard what sounded like every fucking woman in the house clap their hands and sing the words. I rolled my eyes. I guess Big 'n' Rich got something right...some girls love to ride those cowboys.

Jasper's song was passing far too quickly. My nerves were practically eating me alive as I pulled on the gloves that matched my outfit. Fucking white vinyl. It was fucking tight, but at least it wasn't shiny. It looked like a very tight, white version of my racing suit, but unlike my normal suit it wasn't a one piece. There were at least four pieces to the outfit, each of them able to be removed separately...and in a flash.

My leg wouldn't stop moving as Jasper's song drew to a close. I wasn't sure whether the appreciative catcalls he was getting made me feel better or worse. I only knew that his moment in the spotlight was ending and mine was about to begin. I slid my race helmet on, it was a lightweight costume one so it wouldn't hinder my moves, but it would hide my identity.

Seconds later, Jasper raced back off the stage. He held his hat clutched to his groin and wasn't wearing a skerrick of clothing, at least none that I could see and definitely not enough for me to be comfortable in his presence. I couldn't be certain whether he'd taken everything off himself or if he'd been attacked. I wasn't sure that I wanted to know and I sure as hell didn't want to ask.

"Man, those girls are nuts!" he exclaimed, grinning goofily. "Good luck out there." He scuttled off, no doubt in search of some pants. Then again, maybe he was meeting Alice for a private encore. Again, I really didn't want to know.

"Who likes a red-hot racer?" I heard the emcee start the agreed upon introduction. "I know one little lady who has the hots for things that go _fast_." I knew the all-white nature of my outfit had me looking like a wannabe Stig, so we'd agreed to play on that fact. "Some say his touch is so hot that he melts concrete on contact. Some say his tongue can strip the paint off a Porsche in thirty seconds. All we know is…he's here for your entertainment!"

The first few bars of my song came on, and I put all thoughts of embarrassment out of my mind. I was doing this for Bella, even if she didn't know it was me. Better her hands all over my semi-naked, g-string clad ass than some random stripper. Before I knew it the girls were hollering for me to "take it off," and I was bumping and grinding my way toward the only woman I had eyes for.

I took my time crossing the small stage to where Bella sat front and centre. I took a moment to regard her outfit. The black dress she was wearing was wickedly short, but only because of the way she was leaning back on her seat, her face cringing behind her hands. The veil that Rosalie had no doubt made her wear was red and black netting with little pink charms dangled intermittently along the edges. When I looked closer, I realised that the little "charms" were in fact small plastic penises. I had to stop myself from bursting out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

I was three quarters of the way to Bella when I reached out and ripped off the top of my outfit. I saw her eyes gaze appreciatively across my exposed chest and abdomen. All that was left on my top half was a loose vest which was high enough to cover my tattoo so that Bella wouldn't recognise me too readily. I danced my way a little closer, close enough to touch her. I gently grabbed her hand and ran it along my stomach. She flinched and looked away. _Good. _

I pulled her other hand away from her face and trailed them both down my stomach, allowing her fingers to hit the muscles of my six-pack. I was sure she must have known it was me by the humming of our contact. No-one else's touch could ever do to me what hers did, and I was certain it was the same for her.

She was mesmerized by the waistband of the bottom half of the suit so I pressed her hands gently underneath the material. The girls around her were squealing and hollering, but a sly grin crossed her face, and she looked up at me quickly. I could see the recognition in her eyes, but obviously she had decided to play along.

Her hands bunched into fists, holding the material tightly.

"Pull," I whispered, and she did.

The entire bottom half of my outfit ripped away, leaving me standing in nothing but white gloves, the small white vest, a white helmet and a white g-string. I couldn't help the fact that I was incredibly turned on with Bella right in front of me, oh so close to all the areas I wanted her to lavish attention on. I grabbed her hands and ran them along my thighs. She shocked the hell out of me by leaning in and kissing my stomach. Unconsciously, I leaned my hips into her.

Her hands circled around the backs of my thighs and pulled my body closer still. I groaned as she peppered small kisses along my stomach.

"Bella!" Rosalie exclaimed, calling my attention back to the fact that we were not alone. "Watching is one thing! Edward would flip if he knew you were _handling _the strippers."

Bella laughed. "Oh, I think Edward would be okay with this."

I reached down with one gloved hand and stroked her cheek tenderly. Then I busted out my best stripper moves and ground against the bride-to-be. My dick was straining to be released, but that could wait until I had Bella back in the privacy of our hotel room. My body cried out knowing that wouldn't happen until at least the following night. But I understood this was Bella's hen's night, I wasn't about to steal her away from her friends.

As my song drew to a close, I jumped back up onto the stage and did a little dance for the benefit of the other girls. I knew they wanted me. Half of the girls in the club were practically leaping out of their seats like cartoon wolves with bugging-out eyes and thumping hearts in their chests. But none of them would ever see any more of me. None of them would touch me. None of them—save one. I blew Bella a final kiss and exited the stage.

I was back in the dressing room getting dressed when the club manager came in.

"You two boys made a great impression tonight. If you ever want to consider doing it full time, I'll be more than happy to take you on."

I laughed. "Thanks, but no thanks. It was a one-time affair."

He shrugged. "I have one more offer for you. One of the girls has asked for a private lap dance."

I shook my head. "Definitely not. Despite doing this, I am a one-woman man."

"She said you'd probably say that. She also asked me to tell you to reconsider. She gave me this and said to tell you this time, she would be the one doing the moves." He held out his hand and I saw one of the plastic penises that had been dangling from Bella's veil.

I'd never been more happy to see a fucking penis in all my life.

~ 0 ~

I sat in the small room…waiting. I didn't want to think about how many other people had been given private lap dances in this particular room. My dick was entirely too ready for action to care. I hoped I had interpreted the tiny plastic penis correctly and it was Bella coming in to see me. If not—if I was wrong and some other random loser came in instead—I was going to chuck a fucking fit.

Suddenly, the curtain pulled back and my jaw dropped. My eyes leapt out of my fucking skull and my mouth turned into the Sahara fucking Desert. Bella sashayed in wearing a shiny black vinyl cat suit. Spaghetti straps rested across the curve of her shoulders, her nipples were just barely covered with the sharp V shape of the bustier. Laced fastenings crossed her cleavage, leaving just the right amount of skin on show. Her legs were bare, pale white and silky smooth to contrast the dark colour of the vinyl. Six-inch heels and a black whip completed the ensemble. Just the sight of her made me anxious to drop to my knees and beg for her permission to touch.

"You were very naughty, crashing my hen's night like that, weren't you?" she said in a downright husky and sexy-as-fuck voice.

I nodded. "So bad," I whispered, more than willing to call her bluff. "What are you going to do to me?"

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Um, wait... you actually want me to use this on you?" she asked, sounding just a little mortified.

"Fuck no!" I assured her. I would do anything she wanted me to, if she genuinely wanted me to, but I had never been spanked before and a Brisbane strip club wasn't exactly my ideal choice of location to start trying it.

"Have you..." she started before trailing off.

I raised my eyebrow. "Do you really want to know?"

She hesitated and I opened my arms.

"Why don't we discuss it later? Right now, I'm waiting for a strip-tease." I winked at her.

She stepped closer to me. "I don't really know how to do it," she stammered.

"Baby, you don't have to. Just standing there you are a thousand times more sexier than any of the chicks that grace that stage out there."

She smiled. It ruined the overall Domme effect of her outfit, but it made her so much more sexy in my eyes.

"Come here," I whispered, fingering the air.

She stepped closer to me, staggering a little in her ultra-high heels. I stood, reaching out to stop her from tumbling. I ran my fingers along the inside of her thigh and wrapped her legs around me one at a time before lifting her up and carrying her back with me to the sole chair in the room. As I walked, I trailed kisses along her throat. I slid down onto the seat, ensuring Bella's feet rested on the floor and held her hips loosely.

"So did you want to learn how to do this?" I asked.

She bit her lip, but I could see the excitement in her eyes at the idea.

"Stand back just a little," I pushed her off my lap. I made sure she had her legs under her and then sat back to enjoy. I spread my legs to accommodate my hard, pulsing member.

She watched me adjust myself, taking obvious pride in my raging erection.

I smiled encouragingly at her. "Just do what comes naturally."

She began to swivel her hips slightly to the music that was being played out on the main stage; a slow, tantalizing beat overlaid by breathy female vocals. She closed her eyes as her half-naked ass began to sway gently back and forth as she moved in a tantalisingly slow circle.

"Oh fuck, Bella!" I exclaimed as she dropped down and ran her hands along her own leg, sticking her ass into my face in the process.

As her circle completed, she closed the small distance between us and leant her knee onto the chair between my legs. I felt the slightest pressure of her knee resting against my balls, and fuck it felt good. I moaned and shifted lower in the chair to be closer to her. She twisted suddenly, raising one leg over mine so that she was facing away from me and her thighs were grazing along mine. I raised my hands, grasping loosely onto her hips. She continued to sway from side to side with my fingers running along the bottom edges of the outfit. I was trying to calculate exactly how difficult it would be to fuck Bella without having to remove the whole thing, because it seemed like such a shame to waste something so fuck-hot.

As if she sensed what I was thinking she murmured, "It releases at the back." Her fingers twisted around to show me the fasteners.

_Oh fuck me!_ _It has an access panel._ I wanted to thank whoever had dreamt up the design as I made short work of the outfit and then turned her around. I pulled her hips onto my lap, slipping two fingers down between us.

"Oh baby!" Her hot breath blew across my ear as I massaged my fingers into her. "That feels so..." her sentence ended in a long throaty groan.

I licked a trail along her chest, running from the opening of the suit to her collarbone.

"I...I need you..." she stammered as I pushed her further.

All thoughts of strip-teases and seduction were lost in the rampant desire coursing through us both. She lifted herself off my lap long enough for me to push my pants down to me knees. I pulled her straight onto me, relishing the warm wetness that surrounded my aching cock.

"Holy fucking..." I cried out as I thrust into her. I began to work the lacing that criss-crossed her breasts, longing to release them into my touch. I needed them under my fingers and in my mouth. I needed _her_. Finally, I managed to free them and brought my mouth to meet her nipples.

The same slow swaying motion she had used to tease me was now bringing me to ecstasy. I clenched her ass tightly with my fingers as my seed spilled into her suddenly, the slow burn igniting into a flash fire.

"Holy hell, that was hot," Bella panted against my neck.

I wasn't finished with her yet. I took the flesh of her throat into my mouth, before ravishing her breasts again. As I kissed her, she began to giggle.

"I have to get back soon," she murmured.

I shook my head, all my previous thoughts about not wanting to spoil her hen's night gone. I didn't want to let her go, in fact, I wasn't sure that I could.

She pulled away from me. "We can continue this tomorrow, if you'd like."

I nodded against her skin, before a thought hit me. "Wait…where did this come from?" I ran my hands up the sides of her outfit.

"Alice," Bella chuckled. "She gave it to me as a gift tonight…said she could see me needing to use it sooner or later."

"That cheeky minx," I whispered. "She wasn't supposed to give it away."

"Don't worry…she didn't. Trust me, I was surprised." Bella laughed loudly. "But not as surprised as Rosalie…I'm still not sure she knows it was you."

I joined in her laughter. "I guess you should put her out of her misery."

"Yeah…maybe…" Bella giggled. "Or I could let her squirm for a little while longer."

I guided her lips toward mine. "I love you," I said after we'd shared a sweet kiss.

She rested her forehead on mine. "I love you too…I can't believe we're actually getting married in a few short weeks."

"Believe it, babe. There is nothing I am looking forward to more."

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Songs to strip by:**

**Jasper: Big 'n' Rich "Save a horse, ride a cowboy." http:/ www. youtube. com/watch?v=Qt0_oPPK6eA**

**Edward: Danzig "She Rides" http:/ www. youtube. com/watch?v=qC-W0_cv85E**

**Bella: Paula Cole "Feelin' Love" http:/www. youtube. com/watch?v=DKRHED1MjA8&feature=related**

**Yeah I know, I took a long time getting out the BPOV's of the last chap. I've promised myself I won't post this until I have a BPOV ready to go. Hopefully making that promise means any reviewers will have a BPOV sent to them very soon after reviewing. (addition: I have the BPOV written, just needs another read over so it should be done soon)**


	18. The Pits

**Chapter 18: The Pits**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF). _

_Extra special double thanks to KrazyKyles on Twitter for the local knowledge & the useful information about Townsville racetrack. I know it was a while ago we discussed this so I have to ask...do you forgive me?_

~ 0 ~

I was having a shitty day. No…I was having a shitty weekend. And it had looked so promising at the start.

With the wedding just one week away, Mum had arrived back in Australia and wanted to spend some time with her granddaughter. Somehow, she had convinced Bella to fly to Townsville with team and me. Mum wanted us to spend a little bit of time together, even though Bella had been practically glued to my side since the stripper incident, not to mention the evening that had followed.

I'd been a little worried about taking her to a race meeting after the accident at Queensland Raceway, but I knew I had to get over than insecurity if I wanted to spend time with my girls, doing what I loved.

My Friday had sucked. I had failed miserably in my bid to get two pole positions. Four races, two poles. It wasn't a tough task, and yet, I had failed. I had qualified in third position, not bad…but not good enough. I failed Bella; I wasn't going to be able to provide her with the honeymoon we'd been planning on. To suffer that blow just one week out from the wedding sucked.

Saturday…my helmet went missing. I had taken it with me as my good luck charm, but when I went to find it just before my second race, it wasn't where I'd left it. I searched all around the Mini garage and just couldn't find it anywhere. Luckily though, Bella was in the Cullen Racing trailer, and I'd decided there was no need to tell her just yet that it was missing. I pulled out my spare helmet and used it to go racing.

As I pushed the car around the track, I thought about Bella watching from the sidelines. It gave me a little boost. I finished in second place and decided that even if I hadn't won the right to return to London, I was having a good meeting and a decent season. That was something worth celebrating.

I pulled up into scrutineering, ready to meet Bella like we'd agreed, but she wasn't there. I felt a niggling in the pit of my stomach, but I tried to push it aside. No doubt she was just caught up on the phone with Rosalie or in the trailer with Alice. It was nothing to worry about—but that didn't stop me from stressing.

After the officials were finished, I took my car back to the sheds, but Bella wasn't there either. I tried her mobile, but there was no answer. That was when I really started to worry. I had completed at least three laps of the pits, but she wasn't anywhere. I raced to the Cullen Racing truck, thinking that maybe she was in the office there with Alice. When I saw she wasn't there either, full-blown panic set in.

For the first time in a long time, I felt the swelling of my chest and shortening of my breath. I struggled to get enough oxygen into my system. I knew something was wrong. I just knew it. There was no way Bella wouldn't be waiting for me. Every inch of my body was on edge. Bella was in trouble, and I had no idea where she was or how to get to her. The weight of it was staggering. I fell to my knees as a strangled sob ripped from my lips. I tried to think logically, but I couldn't. All I could think of was my desperate need to find Bella. I buried my head in my hands and leant back onto my heels. I knew I had to get up and start searching, but the task seemed insurmountable.

I staggered to my feet and did one more lap of the pits. I couldn't see or hear clearly though the mist that had invaded my head, but I made my way around as best as I could, certain that seeing Bella would clear my mind instantly.

I grew aware of someone walking over and talking to me, but I couldn't make out the words. I felt hands pulling me aside and pushing me against the truck.

"Are you alright, man?"

I blinked, trying to clear the fog in my head.

"Sparky?" a different voice added.

I swung my head back and forth between the two voices who kept talking to each other and to me. Suddenly, I was being jostled inside a trailer. I was aware of being shaken slightly. I wanted to be sick. My stomach was twisted and my chest heaved with each breath I tried to take.

"Bella," I croaked. I didn't care what happened to me, which seemed to be what the two boys with me were concerned about. I didn't care about exposure, or photos, or fans, or any of the other shit they were saying. I just cared about Bella. "Where is she?"

"I haven't seen her," one of the voices—which I'd finally realised belonged to Embry—said.

"Me either, but James was asking about her. He was over near the trucks earlier."

"James!" His name burst out of me like a curse and suddenly, I could see clearly. I took a deep breath, needing every ounce of strength I could muster. If he'd laid even one finger on Bella...

I yelled a "thanks" behind me as I scrambled from the trailer and ran towards the freight area. If James was talking to Bella, I knew what he wanted. He'd been trying to find a way to get to me for the longest time. I growled at the memory of his taunts at work. I knew exactly where he would have led her, if given the opportunity. There was one place that was always deserted.

The trucks that brought all the supporting equipment were lined up in a car park on the far outskirts of the track. I raced there as quickly as my legs, and the hot race suit I was wearing, would allow. I had barely reached the gate when Bella slammed into me. She was running as fast as she could, looking behind her anxiously.

Relief flooded through me. She was safe and back in my arms, where she belonged. I wrapped my arms tightly around her. She screamed at first as I held her, but then she realised who I was and relaxed into me.

"What happened?" I asked. "Where were you?"

She pressed herself hard against me. "James."

I set my jaw, furious. I couldn't believe she would wander off with him. I'd warned her—repeatedly—how much of an ass he was. The things he whispered to me at work came racing back into my mind and my hands clenched into fists. I lifted Bella and turned around, leaving me positioned between her and the direction she had been running from. The direction where James, the wanker, was slithering.

I began to head in that very direction when Bella grabbed my arm.

"Don't!" she cried, tears pricking her eyes.

"Why not, Bella?" I asked.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

I scoffed. "You don't think it hurts that you would go off with him, knowing everything he's done to me?"

She looked up at me. I could see rage and sorrow battling behind her eyes and the mix stole my voice. I wanted to apologise—immediately knowing that I was out of line.

"You... You mean the world to me," she forced out finally between sobs. "I went with him, because I thought it was you! He…he has your helmet…"

I stared at her, my mouth dry and my heart between my teeth. I heard the sound of a muffled cry and whipped my head toward it. I guessed it was coming from near where Bella had appeared from.

I took a step in that direction but again Bella reached out to stop me. Why when I was obviously so much stronger than her, was a light touch of her hand enough to paralyse me?

"Please don't," she cried. "I really couldn't stand it if you got hurt."

"You think _I'm_ going to get hurt?" I asked. "That fucker-he's the one who's going to get hurt. I am going to make him pay for ever laying his eyes on you."

She flinched.

"Wait... that was all he laid on you, wasn't it?"

She dropped her eyes to the floor, and I thought I saw her shake her head slightly. I didn't wait to find out what else the fucking bastard had done. I was off and running in the direction that I'd heard the sound from. As I drew closer, the sounds of muffled fighting grew louder. I rounded the corner and saw James and Jasper locked in a tight embrace. Both of them were throwing punches wildly.

"You prick!" I screamed. "You rat-bastard fucking prick. How_ dare_ you go anywhere near _my_ girl."

James and Jasper both paused at the sound of my voice. Jasper was quick to use the momentary break to his advantage. He wrapped his hands around James' shoulders, pulling his arms back and exposing his stomach to me. I cracked my knuckles and sneered at James.

"Now... you pay."

I drew my fist back and slammed it hard into James' side, listening to his pained holler with sick satisfaction. I went to strike again, aiming for his face this time, but before I could connect, I heard the last voice I'd wanted to hear at that moment.

"What the hell is going on here?" Carlisle hissed, low and venomously.

"They dragged me out here and attacked me," James said, his voice sounded pathetic and pitiful.

"Tell him the truth!" I demanded. "Tell him what you did."

James shook his head. "I didn't do anything," he said. "I swear."

"Jasper?" Carlisle's eyes shot straight to the seemingly third party in the situation.

"James was out here alone with Bella—" Jasper started before Carlisle cut him off.

"And that's justification for this?" Carlisle asked, his tone saying that the correct answer was not 'yes'. "Let him go!"

Carlisle's calm authority was clearly not to be messed with, and with a firm shove, Jasper released James.

"Get back to the pits. I'll deal with this later. Edward, I'll see you in my office as soon as the next race is over. Alone."

James turned back to me and smirked. He knew as well as I did that I was going to bear the brunt of this. I was the fuck-up. I was the one with the history of fighting. I was the one who had complained bitterly about James. I was the one Carlisle had overhead saying that I would do whatever it took to get rid of him. I was the one who was supposed to be racing with Jasper in the enduros after the break. I could see that dream drifting away into the fucking distance, despite the contract.

James snickered and licked his lips. "Mmmm, tastes good," he murmured.

"You bastard!" I cried and leapt at him again. Before I could do any serious damage, Jasper and Carlisle dragged me off him roughly. I noticed with satisfaction that Jasper used the opportunity to get another kick or two in.

"James! With me!" Carlisle snapped. "Now!" He led James off.

"What the fuck happened, man?" I asked Jasper, scooping down to pick up _my_ helmet which James had obviously been wearing to lure Bella away from the crowds.

"I don't know exactly. I just saw some kid talking to Bella earlier. Then she walked off in this direction, or skipped off might be more appropriate. A little while later someone said you were looking for her. I couldn't find you, so I went in search of her."

I closed my eyes, almost afraid to ask what he found.

"It wasn't good," he said, confirming my worst fears. "He had her pinned tightly against the trailer. She was trying to fight him off, but he wasn't listening to her."

I growled. "I'm going to kill him. I am going to fucking _kill_ him."

"Man, I get it. I really do. But you need to back off for a bit, you're already in enough hot water with Old Man Cullen as it is. Just leave it to me."

He smiled, and I felt like agreeing, but I knew I wouldn't be satisfied unless James suffered because of me. I began to wring my hands in anticipation at the thought of inflicting pain and suffering on him.

"Go to Bella," Jasper said, handing me the custom designed helmet which she'd given me for my birthday that James had obviously stolen.

_Of course, he would remind me of the one thing more important than revenge. _

I rang Bella's mobile. Alice answered it and let me know that they were back at the trailer. I ran the whole way there and straight into Bella's arms. I let her sob against me until I finally had to leave. It was time for me to do my proper job. It had been drilled into me thoroughly that my pit job was my first and foremost responsibility at these events.

I couldn't help but smile at the knowledge that James had committed the cardinal sin in racing—never fuck with anyone who has your safety in their hands. I wondered whether anyone would notice if I didn't completely tighten the nut on his wheel when he came into the pit.

The cars had one final check-over and then rolled out onto the grid. Jasper and James waited by their cars, with Alice and Liam darting between them, while the official proceedings started at the start/finish line. Despite my prime position in Pit Lane, I couldn't hear anything that was said over the blood pumping loudly through my ears as I watched the slimy bastard posing for photos with the grid girls. I could see his hands wandering all over their bodies, and I couldn't help picturing his hands roaming over Bella while she struggled to fight him off. I snapped the pen I had been holding in half, drawing my attention back to the sheet in front of me. I tossed the broken pen and the clipboard to one side.

_Pull yourself together_, I thought.

I knew Carlisle wanted my ass because of what happened by the trailers. No matter what anyone told him, he would assume that I was at fault. Despite the progress we had seemed to be making, I had no doubt this would put us back to square one. I would be the baddy and there was jack shit I could do about it. I wondered if that would ever change. I even began to wonder whether it was all worth it.

Maybe I should have just jumped ship to Volturi when the opportunity had arisen. Maybe I would have been happier there. Although, every time I saw Aro's ugly-assed face around the track, I just wanted to smoosh it into the ground. I guessed that was my answer really.

I looked up and saw Alice come running in to pit lane.

"Look sharp, guys," she called. "It's time."

She nodded to me briefly. The look in her eyes confirming that she knew precisely what had happened with James. I tried to put it out of my mind and took my position with the rest of my crew, waiting for the first pit window to open.

We were all on tenterhooks as we waited for the call that our driver was hitting the pits. Every one of us knew that pit stops were where the races were really won or lost. I may have hated James, I may have wanted him gone from the team, but I was still a Cullen man through and through and wanted us up on the podium. The V8's roared past us at regular intervals and, although it was still early, everything looked on track for a Cullen Racing one/two.

Finally the call came in to ready the pits. Jasper was due to come in for his first pit stop in four laps. Two laps passed quickly and Jasper's crew got ready to meet him, rolling his wheels and tyres into the pit area.

The lap before he was due to come in, James' voice squeaked through the radio. "I'm coming in."

"James, no, we're ready for Jasper—not you," Alice said.

"Well, _get_ ready for me," James snapped. "I'm coming in."

"Fuck!" Alice exclaimed. She pulled her mic away from her mouth. "Everyone scramble," she shouted before spending the next precious few seconds arranging with Jasper to stay away from the pits for another few laps.

"My tyres are wearing out," Jasper growled. "I need to come in."

"James is coming in this lap—give us two laps," Alice said, exasperated. "Please?"

"Fine!" Jasper snapped. "What the hell is his game?"

I was wondering the same thing myself as I joined the rest of my crew getting everything we needed for James' car out onto pit lane, sidelining all of Jasper's equipment. James was already in the pits and waiting long before we were ready. Precious seconds had already slipped away.

I finished changing his front wheel and raised my hand to let everyone know I was finished and clear. I looked down through the netting and saw James was giving me the finger. I leaned forward to slap the car, just as James got the all clear to go. He took off, just about taking my arm with him.

"Fucker!" I screamed.

"Masen!"

I rolled my eyes before turning around to look at Liam.

"What have I told you?" he snapped."A thousand times. When you raise your hand... it means you're clear. Once you're clear, stay away from the damn car!"

"Yes, sir," I said. I knew there was no point arguing, because I knew the safety rules. No matter what happened when you were clear, you stayed back. It was all too easy to lean back into the car and have your foot run over or your arm broken.

I was fuming by the time I walked back into the pit garage.

"Take it easy," Alice said, slapping me on the back. "Try to stay calm."

"Fucker tries getting it on with Bella and then has the nerve-"

Alice cut me off with a motion of her hand.

I cleared out of the way so that she could direct Jasper in. I watched as James circled again. I didn't know what the fucker's plan was, but I knew he had deliberately fucked Jasper with the pit stop.

Jasper had ended up having to run at least three laps on old tyres, which would definitely have caused him some delays. Not to mention that it fucked with the whole race strategy Carlisle, Liam and Alice would have worked out with Jasper before sending him out.

The race wore on without any further complication. Lap after lap the cars raced past, and just as I had every other race meet, I felt my fingers twitching with need and desire to be out there with them. I loved being in the pits and through my experience, I understood how things worked much more than I ever had before. The inner workings of the cars were no longer the mystery to me that they once might have been. I'd always known the theory of course, and I'd been more than able to service my own cars, but actually stripping an engine down and rebuilding it was a priceless experience. But nothing could ever compare to the ecstasy of being out there with 600 horses at the mercy of my right foot or the thrill of chasing down a competitor.

Another pit stop for brakes, tyres, and fuel came and went..

Once the dust had settled on the second pit window, James and Jasper were first and second on the track, with Demetri Reid right behind them. James was defending his position aggressively against Jasper, throwing his car around the track and driving hard into the corners. I couldn't understand why he wasn't just using his lead to push himself further forward. That's what I would have done. Leave second and third to battle it out while relishing in the additional speed granted by the clean air. Instead, he was allowing himself to get mixed into the battle. It was just bad race strategy.

The defensive driving techniques of James allowed Jasper to sneak up on him and slingshot around him coming out of turn thirteen. They were neck and neck as they hit the straight, with Jasper edging slowly in front.

"Go, you good thing," I whispered. Similar sentiments were murmured all around me. Although everyone wanted a Cullen Racing one/two combo, I knew they all would have preferred to see Jasper in front.

Just as they approached the small bend in the straight, James twisted his wheel sharply, clipping the rear right-hand side of Jasper's car. To anyone else watching, it may have just looked like James had oversteered for the corner, but I knew him, and the car, well enough to know that it couldn't have been an accident. Knowing that he had managed to hit Jasper's car in exactly the right place to send him pirouetting down the straightaway at top speed, left little doubt. Demetri slid past Jasper's car harmlessly as soon as it started its fast spin. I heard Alice's horrified gasp when she realised what was going to happen, almost at the exact time that I did. There was only one way it could go. Unless Jasper pulled out some kind of fucking miracle and wrestled control of the car, he was heading straight for the wall.

I turned to Alice and saw the colour drain out of her face. She chewed on her lips briefly, before bringing her fingers into her mouth. The stress in the pits was palpable, despite the fact that only seconds had passed since James' deception. I wanted to shout out that it was all right and to explain that the cars were designed for safety-that it was rare for anyone to get seriously injured in them-but everyone around me knew that just as well as I did. I, who had crashed so many times before, had never experienced the level of fear that ran through the pits as they watched on helplessly. Those who couldn't see the track from their current position had their eyes firmly glued to the monitors.

I watched in horror as the rear of Jasper's car barrelled into the concrete barrier. The force of the hit was so hard that a ripple ran down the fence-line all the way back to us in the pits. The car ricocheted back across the track, before finally rolling to a stop in the middle of the track just around the loose bend. Everyone in the pits crowded around the monitors and held their breath as the car finally settled.

"He's in the blind," I whispered. I remembered the track from last year. It was a loose turn, you barely had to twist the steering wheel, but there was a small section of track that couldn't be seen until you were committed to the line. Jasper's car was currently resting in that exact spot.

"Fuck!" Liam cried. He jumped onto the radio with the track officials, quickly explaining the full situation with Jasper. They were monitoring his vitals, but he hadn't left the car yet. We weren't sure whether it was because of safety concerns or injury—he wasn't answering any radio calls. Alice was practically a statue with nerves. I could see the tears behind her eyes and her lips were moving quickly as she muttered something indecipherable.

Less than a second passed before the cars in fourth and fifth shot out of the hairpin and down the straight.

"No!" Alice cried from nearby me, I couldn't take my eyes off the monitor to see her new pain. "They're going too fast," she whispered. "They're going too fast!"

The officials brought out the yellow flags and both cars began to slow down. But it was too late. There wasn't enough room for both of them to get around Jasper—they didn't even know he was there.

I closed my eyes as the sound of metal twisting against metal rent the air. The sound of the collision was bad enough; I didn't need to see it too. Alice's pained cry made my heart ache. I turned and watched as, for the first time since I'd known her, she went against every rule in the book. She ripped her headset off and ran down pit lane in the direction of the accident. I didn't have time to consider just how out of character it was though, because I was running right behind her.

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Not much to say other than the usual sorry about the delay on this chap! I promise that the next one definitely won't take as long, primarily 'cause it's almost completely done, I just need to do some final editing to it. Also as a consolation for how long this chapter took, I have the BPOV done & ready to send for any reviewers. **

**Hope everything is good for everyone! **


	19. Reckless

**Chapter 19: Reckless**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

I caught up with Alice just at the exit of pit lane. We couldn't see the carnage, and without our headphones, there was no way of knowing what was happening. We did see the marshals change the flags from yellow—meaning caution on the track and advising that the safety car was in control—to red. Red; the conditions were too unsafe to continue the session. I knew that meant the impact ahead was bad.

I grabbed Alice just before she ran blindly onto the track. I snaked my arms around her waist and held onto her from behind. She pummelled my arms with her fist.

"Let me go!" she wailed. "I have to go to him."

"We will, Al," I said to her as calmly as I could while pulling gently against her. "But there's no point in getting yourself killed in the process. Come up along the inside of the barriers, at least until we know the track is clear and the cars are stopped."

I tried not to look at the red flags waving ominously from the sides of the track as we jumped over the barrier and ran in the relatively safe zone to where Jasper's car had finally come to rest. Whenever the flickering red material did catch my eye, I tried to remind myself that red flags meant nothing more than a total track blockage. It didn't mean Jasper was injured or..._worse_.

I held Alice's hand as we rounded the corner, partly out of a desire to comfort her in some way but mostly to ensure that I had a good hold so that she didn't go barrelling off again. I knew she wasn't thinking straight, hell..._I_ was barely thinking straight.

The scene wasn't pretty. There were three cars stretched from one side of the track to the other; although, I wasn't sure Jasper's wreck would still classify as a 'car'. It was upside-down, no longer had four wheels and the entire front end rested near the far boundary fence, having obviously been torn off by the impact with car number seventeen.

Alice froze. She shook her head in disbelief before closing her eyes.

"No," she sobbed softly. "No, this isn't happening."

I watched as the drivers of the other cars pulled roughly on Jasper's doors, trying to wrench them open.

"Stay here," I commanded Alice. The last thing the scene needed was a hysterical woman—even the most stoic professional was bound to become a little hysterical when confronted with a car accident featuring her fiancée—but I needed to help.

Despite there being five men on the track already, Jasper's door still wasn't open. Worse, from the little I could see through the netting he wasn't moving at all.

I started off for the track and felt Alice close by my side.

"Alice, please?" I begged. "Stay."

"No! If..." she trailed off.

I could see the blind panic in her eyes. She closed her eyes and swallowed roughly. When she opened them again, her face was calmer and she was slightly more in control, but I knew from my own experience that her control was tenuous at best. "If anything happens, I want to be there."

I looked over at the scene. More people were flooding in now—not just track officials and fire marshals, but TV and photo crews. Each one trying to get the perfect photo of Jasper's broken car, or even better—in their newsworthy, jaded eyes—his broken body.

"Fucking vultures," I muttered under my breath.

Just as we climbed over the barrier and back onto the track, the rescue crew finally wrestled Jasper's door open and pulled him from the wreckage. He was on a stretcher and into the onsite ambulance in next to no time. Even once on the stretcher, he didn't move.

At the sight of Jasper's prostrate body, Alice collapsed. Luckily, I saw what was going to happen seconds before it did and was able to get my arms around her just as she fell. As I held her tightly, she sobbed loudly against me unable to control herself any longer. I picked her up into my arms as gently as I was able and carried her back through the pits and toward the trailer. I knew Jasper would want her by his side as soon as possible, but for the moment I needed to take care of her for him. I would make sure she was there for him before he woke...and he _would_ wake. I couldn't even bear to imagine any other possibility.

By the time I got back to the trailer, all of the crew were outside waiting for news. The sight of Alice in agony seemed to send a shockwave through them. She had always been the strong one in the team, the one to rally the troops and give them hope when something went wrong. Everyone parted before me as I walked toward the trailer, giving me space to take her through to the control centre. Each of the monitors was a reminder of Jasper's current situation. His car's in-car telemetry was ominously still, all of the on-track cameras were trained on the accident scene and the in-car camera was cracked and showing an upside-down image.

I sat Alice down on the chair, freeing up my hands, before turning off all of the monitors. Neither of us needed the harsh reminder of what we had just witnessed firsthand.

I sat on one of the spare chairs and pulled Alice onto my lap. I cradled her against my chest like a child and gave her the opportunity to cry it all out so that she could be strong when she went to see Jasper in the hospital. I knew if she went in her current condition, she would be of little help to him.

My boys seemed to understand what I was doing and set themselves up as body-guards at the door. They weren't allowing anyone to pass, except Bella. She was in tears as she burst into the small room. She pulled the other chair up to my side and held my hand as I supported Alice. The three of us sat in near silence, broken only by Alice's heartbreaking sobs and Bella's quick, whispered update. Apparently Carlisle had left for the hospital, but nothing more was known. I wanted to give Alice the time she needed to recover herself, but started to grow anxious about the passing moments. I had to ensure she was by Jasper's side as soon as possible. I knew I would have wanted Bella beside me immediately if the situation was reversed. After a few minutes, Alice's body stopped shaking as violently, and she climbed off my lap. She took a few tentative steps as she wiped the remaining tears off her cheeks.

"I…I'm ready," she whispered. "Can you…" her voice gave out.

I nodded. "We'll take you to him."

As soon as we hit the stairs to exit the trailer, the flash bulbs started. Although Alice and Jasper had never gone public with their relationship, they had never hidden it either, so the speculation had always been rife in the media. Seeing her on-track reaction seemed to have confirmed many suspicions so everyone wanted her take on the accident. As we stepped outside, I had Bella's hand tightly held in one of mine, and my other arm was wrapped protectively around Alice.

Through the throng of reporters, I spotted James out of the corner of my eye. He was leaning casually against the trailer parked alongside Cullen Racing's and looked smug-as-fuck. If my mind wasn't so preoccupied with getting Alice to Jasper, I might have taken the opportunity to pummel the living shit out of him.

I felt Bella's hand squeeze mine a little tighter. I realised she must have seen James too and was trying to keep my focus on the task at hand. I guided Alice through to the car park, and she handed me the keys to her rental car. She climbed into the passenger seat, curled herself into a ball and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Bella sat in the seat behind me and rested one hand on my shoulder in support the whole way.

It was a silent and anxious drive to the hospital. I could feel the tension rolling off Bella, but I could also sense something else. Relief. I knew she'd never admit it, but I could tell that beneath her worry and concern, she was glad it wasn't me on the track. I wondered whether it would make things harder when it came time for me to get back into a V8 for the endurance races. Then I remembered that I still needed to talk to Carlisle, and I might not be back for the enduros at all. Momentarily, I considered the possibility that Jasper might not even be back in a car before then, but I pushed it out of my mind. He _would _be okay…he had to be.

~ 0 ~

I sat with Bella in the waiting room. Now that Alice was in with Jasper, I was able to stop trying to be strong for her, so I fell apart in Bella's arms. We had moved closer and closer during our short stay in the waiting room. At first we had sat side by side on the cheap suede couch, Bella's two hands surrounding one of mine, lending me some of her warmth, but somehow over the course of an hour, I had ended up with my top half curled in her lap as she gently stroked my hair.

"Thank you," I whispered to her for probably the fiftieth time. I glanced up at her face and took in her sad smile.

"I'm just glad that I'm here and that you didn't have to go through it alone."

I turned my face back to the wall. "Me too," I murmured so quietly I wasn't sure that she'd even heard me.

We weren't family or important enough to be kept up to date on progress, so we just had to wait patiently for either Carlisle or Alice to remember we were there. The small TV in the corner kept getting turned on and off intermittently as we hungered for more information. We soon tired of seeing the same footage again and again; Jasper's car coming to rest in the bend before being slammed by the other two cars; Jasper being loaded onto a stretcher and carried away in the ambulance.

It was late evening, well past eight p.m., when Alice finally emerged from Jasper's room. Her eyes were bloodshot and red. I tried to remember that as hard as the last four hours had been for Bella and I, they had been even harder on Alice. I sat up to give her space to sit and give us the prognosis.

"He's awake…" she started before coughing lightly to clear her throat. "He's badly concussed though. He has a broken leg, two broken ribs, a punctured lung, a concussion and a sprained wrist. They…" She stopped again, summoning strength from somewhere within—it was a wonder she had any left.

Bella's hand reached across my lap to hold Alice's.

"They don't think he'll be back on the track this season."

"But he will be back?" I asked softly. I knew that if he was forced to leave the team there would be an opening, but I didn't want my opportunity to come off the back of Jasper's tragedy.

"They won't know for sure until he's started physio. They…they're hopeful…but there's no guarantees."

I nodded.

"He wants to see you," she murmured. "There are just a couple of minutes left before visiting hours are over."

I swallowed and felt Bella squeeze my leg gently. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see him just yet, but I had no choice. He was asking for me. I stood before following Alice's directions to Jasper's room.

I knocked on the closed door and heard a soft, "Come in," coughed from the room.

I pushed the door open and took in my surroundings. The curtains were half drawn around the sole bed.

Jasper rested heavily against the pale hospital sheets with the bed angled up slightly so that he was sitting almost upright. He was awake, but he still looked a little grey. Various monitors made a cacophony of sound in the room ensuring that it was never completely silent. He smiled weakly up at me as I entered.

I sat in the seat beside his bed at a complete loss for words.

"Thanks man," he said, breaking the tension that was starting to creep into the room. "For looking out for Alice for me."

"Of course," I muttered quickly. "Anytime."

"Did you see what happened?"

I nodded, but then paused. I wanted to see what he remembered. "A car turned sharply into you and your car lost control. When it stopped, you were in the blind. Two cars came through behind you, but they didn't see you in time."

"Who won?"

I chuckled. Of course that would be one of his primary concerns. "I don't know," I answered honestly. "I'm sure Alice is finding out as we speak."

He reached out for my hand. "You are a good man, Edward Masen. You are my best buddy."

I smirked at him. "What brought that on?"

"I just love you man; I absolutely love you!"

I bit my lip to stop from laughing harder. Clearly, he was on some serious pain killers. I decided to have a little fun with him, and find out a few truths. "I have to ask you a question, and I need your honest answer," I started.

He looked at me seriously, his face full of an earnest desire to please.

"What did you think of me when I first started?"

"You were like my little bro, Bro."

I chuckled. "Have you and Alice ever done it at a track?"

I half expected him to laugh or tell me to fuck off, but instead he seemed to think hard about his answer. "Once or twice," he grinned. "Per meet."

I wasn't sure whether to grin or grimace. I knew for certain that I would be more suspicious whenever the two of them disappeared in the future. "How do you really feel about James?"

"I wish it was you I was driving against. You…you gave me something to beat."

"What about Bella? What do you think of her?" I knew it might be dangerous territory because of their tenuous relationship, but I wasn't going to give up the opportunity for complete honesty when it arose.

"Bella…" He grinned cheekily. "Bella is a good sort. She's good for you. And she's got a killer ass."

I immediately regretted asking him about Bella and decided to stick to safer topics. "Has Carlisle been in to see you?"

"Yep, he was here with Alice for a while."

"Has he said anything about the accident?"

Jasper shook his head. "No, but man I'm glad for good family. Carlisle's paying for everything in the hospital. He's even getting me a transfer to Sydney. I can't fly with the hole here apparently." He was pointing to his chest, no doubt referring to his punctured lung.

I was a little taken aback by his statement about family, until I realised he had to mean figuratively. I knew how he felt; I often thought of the Cullen Racing crew as an extended family, especially lately. Besides, if there was any actual family in the team, I was certain I would know about it. Alice would have told me, she knew all the goss.

I didn't get a chance to press him further because a nurse came in to shoo me out—apparently visiting hours were over for the night.

~ 0 ~

Going to the track the next day and pretending nothing had happened was almost impossible. The track was clear, the car almost completely repaired—the rest of the pit crew had spent a long night fixing it—and the officials were preparing to start the new day of races. But the scars were still evident in my team at least; one of our drivers was absent, everyone was exhausted and we were all counting down the hours until the race meet ended. The news slowly filtered through the ranks that James—who had gone on to win the race after the restart—had been investigated for being at the centre of a red flag event. Unfortunately, it was regarded as an accident and he had gotten off scot-free.

Alice arrived late to the track with heavy purple bags under her eyes. She'd obviously had a very hard night.

I felt bad that we hadn't hung around the hospital longer to support her because in comparison, our night was easy.

When we'd arrived back at the hotel, Bella quickly called our house. It was too late to speak to Phoebe, so she'd had a brief conversation with Mum instead. We assured her that we were okay, that it was just a long night and that we'd see her the following night. After that, Bella and I had curled into one another in bed and held each other silently the whole night long. I don't think either of us had any sleep, but at least we had each other.

I hadn't been at the track for long before the meeting I knew was inevitable was called. Liam came to find me and told me that Carlisle wanted to see me in his office. I refused to leave Bella alone, so I hunted down my boys to ensure they would be stuck like glue to her side.

~ 0 ~

"I can't believe either of you would do something so reckless!" Carlisle was pacing from side to side along his desk and wasn't looking at either Alice or I as we sat in his makeshift office.

To my surprise, we'd both been called in to face the music together. I assumed it was an act of mercy. He would have been within his rights to tear strips off us individually, which would have been infinitely harder for us to handle. Neither of us needed an explanation of what we had done wrong, because we both knew that our run onto the track was not only stupid and reckless, but dangerous as well. Either or both of us could have been hit by a car, not to mention we had no doubt distracted the pit lane officials at a time they should have been concentrating on other things.

"I'm sorry," I started, but Alice raised her hand to stop me.

"It's my fault. Edward was just chasing after me. I just…I lost my head. I would have been in more danger if he hadn't been there."

I knew she was throwing herself on the fire for me, but I couldn't let her. I had taken off with exactly the same mindset she had. I had wanted to help. I had wanted to get to Jasper and ensure he was okay. Even if Alice hadn't made the dash, I probably would have done exactly the same thing. It was only when it became evident her needs were so much greater than my own that my intentions changed. "Carlisle…" I tried to explain, but Alice again cut me off.

"Edward got me off the track. He stopped me from running blindly to Jasper. He was also the one who stopped me from falling onto the track when it got to be too much. Please, I know what he did was wrong, but he shouldn't be punished for _my_ stupidity."

"No one is getting punished," Carlisle said. He had migrated to his seat and sat slumped with his fingers bridged on his nose. "The tribunal agreed to accept the extenuating circumstances and have given you both suspended sentences. But they don't want to see either of you do anything so stupid again."

We both nodded.

"Alice, I'm relieving you of your duties. Liam is going to monitor the next race on his own. Go back to the hospital and be with Jasper. They have said he is able to be released later this afternoon, but he can't travel by air. A car will be around to pick you both up and drive you home later this afternoon."

"Thank you," she said before standing and crossing to his side of the desk. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly for a second. He patted her arm gently in an almost loving gesture.

She unwrapped him, and he nodded toward the door to indicate that she should go.

After she'd exited the room, he sat staring at me for a second or two. I wondered if he actually did have some punishment for me that he hadn't wanted to dish out with Alice in the room.

"You make it very hard for me to put you in a V8 sometimes," he murmured finally.

I knew I had blown my chance. I cursed my own stupidity; for leaving Bella alone when I went on the track for the Mini race; for not telling her about misplacing my helmet; for allowing my temper to take over and give that fuckhead James a taste of what he deserved; for running onto the track after Jasper's accident; so many screw-ups in just one weekend. I hoped I could get him to understand why I'd reacted to James the way I had. I wanted to beg him to reconsider taking my chance away from me. I opened my mouth to try to come up with a magical statement that would fix everything, but I couldn't think of one.

"Would you care to explain what happened yesterday before the race?"

I decided to go with the truth. "James tricked Bella into thinking that I was waiting for her by the trucks. When she got there, he pinned her against the truck…" I growled. My anger was rising just mentioning the incident. Bella and I hadn't even had the opportunity to discuss exactly what had happened. Concern over Jasper and then full-bodied exhaustion had taken over instead.

"And Jasper found them like that?"

I nodded. "I didn't see what had happened…" I trailed off. If I _had_ seen James with Bella, I would have fucking killed him. He was just lucky Carlisle turned up when he had.

"Do you think James had a grudge against Jasper?"

I gaped at Carlisle. Was he really asking what I thought of James? Did he think James had a more nefarious role in the accident? I swallowed down my hope. "Yes. Without doubt…but not as big as his grudge against me."

Carlisle nodded. "Thank you for your honesty. Do you feel up to your race today?"

I wondered whether I could, but I knew my response would no doubt count toward Carlisle's mental tally of how hard it was to put me back into a V8. If I couldn't even race a Mini after witnessing the accident, how could I possibly be trusted with anything more? I nodded.

"Okay. I'll take you off pit duties though. Just compete in your race and then you are free to go."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"I guess I'll see you in Brisbane for your big day."

I froze. I had completely forgotten that this weekend was the last time I would see the Cullen Racing team before my wedding. I blinked and couldn't help smiling a little. "Thank you," I said again unnecessarily, but I decided against giving him the same hug Alice had and settled on a handshake before leaving the office.

~ 0 ~

**A/N: *peeks out from between fingers* Are you still with me? Can you guess what's up next? Thank you for reading & double thanks to those who are reviewing & letting me know what you think. I love hearing rants, thoughts, wild theories and well anything you want to tell me really :D **


	20. It is you

**Chapter 20: It is you**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas CorrinaTFF & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

I stood at the end of the red carpet, a conspicuous gap to my left where Jasper was supposed to have been. He should have been beside me to celebrate the happiest fucking day of my life, but instead, due to the sick fuckery of James, he was back at home in Sydney. Jasper was still unable to fly because of the hole in his lung.

Jake had agreed to be Jasper's fill-in, but stood a small distance away out of respect for the man who couldn't make it; but it just wasn't the same.

I looked around the room, marvelling at the details that Renee and Bella had put into the planning. It was simple but elegant. There were no extravagant floral arrangements, just a single lily at the end of each row of chairs. I was in awe of her choice to have our wedding at the Hilton, a place that held so many good and bad memories for the two of us. Virginities and innocence were lost here, but more recently, promises had been made and kept.

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, trying to dispel some of the nervous energy I felt. It had been over twenty-four hours since I had seen Bella. Renee insisted that they needed to have a girl's day before our wedding and I relented, especially after my own mother turned traitor and insisted on it too.

I'd awakened knowing I would spend the whole day as one big jumble of raw nerves. I had no one to offer me the level of support Bella had been given leading up to the event. I wanted to spend some time with Ben, but despite our attempts at renewing the friendship we'd once had, I just didn't feel right dumping all my pre-wedding crap on him. I had even considered spending a few hours in another futile attempt to reconnect with my estranged father, but realised that his continuous pleading to see me were made out of the same selfish desire as the first, and he truly had no wish to be a part of my life.

I had barely slept since leaving Bella at her parents', only catching an hour here and there between nightmares and insomnia. All in all, it was not the way I'd expected the night before the big one to go. Once morning arrived, I'd dragged myself out of bed , shaved and then dressed before heading into the Hilton to help out with the final arrangements. In reality though, there wasn't much to do.

Bella had planned it down to the last place setting. The hall was set up with a makeshift altar and aisle for the ceremony. After we'd said our vows, we would head out for photos at the Botanical Gardens and a few other locations around town, while our guests were being ushered out. The hotel staff would use the break to convert the hall into a reception room. Our guests would then be invited back in and shown to their allocated seats to await our arrival.

Part of me was excited about the evening, but mostly I just wanted it all to be over. I wanted to be back at home living as man and wife. Honestly, I wanted to know that Bella was mine forever just as I was hers.

I looked over the crowd, worried that trying to single out any individual face would make me ill. A quiet murmur ran around the room, providing a constant noise that I tried in vain to tune out. I'd been counting down the minutes left in my head since taking my position at the front of the gathering. The countdown ended, and I was down to negative ten which didn't bode well for me, because it meant Bella was late. I closed my eyes and tried to convince myself that she was still coming. She wasn't standing me up; it was okay for a bride to be fashionably late; _but how late is fashionable?_

My count increased by another five minutes before music burst into life through the loudspeakers hidden inconspicuously around the room. I blew out a relieved breath, knowing that it was finally time. A silence fell over the room as everyone turned in their seats to watch the bride's entrance. My own eyes fell to the door as I waited for my perfect woman to walk through. I couldn't concentrate on the lyrics or the music—just the door.

Finally, it opened just a crack and a vision with brown hair walked through it. Her green eyes accented perfectly by the mint coloured dress she wore. Her hair was in loose ringlets that rested on her shoulders. The little clips we had picked out together pulled her curls up off her face beautifully. On seeing me her mouth broke into a huge grin.

"Daddy!" she squealed, dropping the basket of rose petals she was carrying and hurtling toward me at top speed. She launched herself into my arms as giggles and muffled laughter broke out randomly throughout the crowd.

I pulled her into me and gave her a small embrace.

"Hey, sweetie," I whispered quietly.

"You should see Mummy," she whispered back. "She's really beautiful."

"I don't doubt it," I murmured before placing my finger on my lips to indicate she should be quiet.

Rosalie walked through the door just then, glowing in her soft pink bridesmaid's dress. It flowed gently over her now-sizable baby bump. She shot me a knowing smile—obviously a reaction to the wide-ass, shit-eating grin on my face.

The doors opened again and suddenly everything stopped. The world existed in perfect clarity as the music changed and Bella stepped forward. I could see, hear and feel _everything_. Her white dress was tight at the top, flaring out just above the knee. It was shaped perfect to accentuate her slender hips and bust. I was glad that all eyes were on her because it gave me a second in which to adjust the boner that was already forming. Her veil covered her face, but was thin enough that I could still see her clearly. Half of her hair was pulled up away from her face, but the rest fell in loose curls around her shoulders. She took a deep breath in the doorway as the lyrics began.

_There is something that I see,  
In the way you look at me,  
There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes._

I met her eyes and caught her chewing her lip before her mouth broke into a smile almost as wide as mine. The lyrics that timed Bella's slow march down the aisle were perfect.

_But now I know just who you are,  
And I know you hold my heart,  
Finally this is where I belong,  
It is you I have loved all along._

"I love you," I mouthed to her, causing her smile to widen even further.

"See, Daddy!" Phoebe shouted. "I told you Mummy was beautiful!"

I agreed with her, laughing a little, before setting her down onto the ground, readying my arms to accept the second most important person in my life. Rosalie called Phoebe over to her side.

_Over and over,  
I'm filled with emotion,  
Your love, it rushes through my veins._

The minute or two that it took Bella to walk toward me felt like it stretched on forever.

_It's no more mystery,  
It is finally clear to me,  
You're the home my heart searched for so long._

Finally, she reached my side and Charlie's rough hand passed her soft one to me. He wrapped his hand around our inter-joined ones. At any other wedding, the moment would have been the perfect opportunity for the father of the bride to whisper words of encouragement or give his final blessing, but this was _our_ wedding, so of course, Charlie whispered, so quietly only I could hear, "If you hurt either of them..."

I met his eye, refusing to let him ruin my perfect moment. "I won't."

I turned back to Bella, the one person who deserved my attention the most in this almost-perfect moment. The guests, Charlie, everyone else could go to pot. As long as I had Phoebe and Bella close to me, everything would be perfect.

_And it is you I have loved,  
It is you I have loved,  
It is you I have loved all along._

The song finished and I couldn't help but smile through the nerves that had built steadily again as the room quietened, but only because I didn't want to fuck anything up. I wanted the day to be perfect for Bella.

The celebrant began by welcoming our guests, and as he did, Bella blushed brightly. I wondered if it was the first time she'd even realised they were present. She glanced across everyone, tears springing to her eyes as they met back with mine.

I grabbed her other hand and held them both tightly, unwilling to let go now that I was so close to having my dreams fulfilled. I barely paid attention to the celebrant as he said all the required bullshit. Finally, it came time to say my vows. We had agreed—despite my unease with the idea—to write our own. Unfortunately, I had to read mine first. Begrudgingly, I released her hands and unfolded the piece of paper on which I had unleashed my heart. A better man may have been able to memorise the words, but I was more concerned with getting them right than knowing them by heart. My hand shook so much it was hard to read the words.

"Bella, in my life I have faced the unexpected and made many mistakes. Through my trials, I have learned that you are my safe place to land. You are my heart's keeper and despite the pain it caused you, you treated it with care throughout our separation.

"From this day on, I choose you, my beloved Isabella, to be my wife. To live with you and laugh with you; to stand by your side, and lay in your arms; to be joy to your heart, and food for your soul; to bring out the best in you always, and, for you, to be the most that I can.

"I promise to laugh with you in good times, to struggle with you in bad; to solace you when you are downhearted; to wipe your tears with my hands; to comfort you with my body; to mirror you with my soul; to share with you all my riches and honours; to play with you as much as I can until we grow old and, still loving each other sweetly and gladly, as our lives come to an end."

I folded the piece of paper back up and slid it into my tuxedo pocket. I clasped onto one of Bella's hands so that she could feel the truth in my words. As it always did, her touch steadied my nerves, and I managed to give her a tender smile.

Bella took a deep breath and then launched into her vows. She kept her hands steady and her eyes on me as she spoke.

I could feel my eyes burning with emotion as she recited her words.

"I choose you, Edward, as my best friend and my love for life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, and my tenderest care. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you.

"I promise to love you, to commit to you, and support you. I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities and to lend you strength for all of your dreams.

"Today, I join my life to yours, not merely as your wife, but as your friend, your lover, and your confidant. Let me be the shoulder you lean on; the rock on which you rest; the companion of your life. From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter, and my arms will be your home. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep."

I squeezed her hand gently and she smiled as a tear ran down her cheek.

I guided our joined hands up underneath her veil and swiped gently at her face with my finger. The crowd watching us no longer existed. I was in my own perfect bubble with her. Time stretched on endlessly and I didn't want it to end. I vaguely heard the minister saying something, but I was no longer listening to him. It wasn't until I heard a titter from the crowd and felt Jake nudging my back did I realise something else was needed.

I turned to Jake. He was holding out Bella's wedding ring. I grabbed it off him carefully, not wanting to drop it and look like a tool in front of everyone. I turned back to Bella, and she offered me her left hand. I repeated what the celebrant said as I slid the plain gold band onto her ring finger. "To marry the person you have set your heart upon is a joy unparalleled in human life. Isabella Marie Swan, take this ring as a sign of my faith and my commitment to our love, and share this joy with me today."

Bella pushed a wedding band onto my finger as she repeated the same promise.

I turned back to Jake and he passed me another piece of jewellery. I ducked down onto one knee and motioned for Phoebe to come back over.

I looked her in the eye. "Phoebe, you are the light of my life. I promise to be the best daddy in the world. I will do everything that I can to make you proud of me. I will protect you, cherish you and support you in everything you do in life.

"No matter what happens from this day forward, I will always be your daddy, and I will always hold you high in my heart. You mean the world to me. I promise you that I will always love and honour your Mummy, and I will always be there for both of you. I am proud to be your daddy." I grabbed her hand gently, wrapping the little gold bracelet around her wrist. "I love you my baby girl."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek, before skipping off to show Aunt Rosie her new jewellery.

I stood back up, seeing tears flowing down Bella's cheek unchecked. As I wiped them away softly, she leaned her face into my hand.

The next words of the celebrant were without doubt the best words I had ever heard.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

I eagerly grabbed the corner of Bella's veil and lifted it back off her face, resting it onto her back. I placed one hand on the nape of her neck, snaking the other around her waist. I pulled her into me, twisting at the last second to dip her as my lips hit hers. I moaned against her as I realised this was the most important kiss of my life—our first kiss as a married couple.

I lifted her back up and set her on her feet, softly kissing her plumped up lips once more.

Rosalie and Jake each took one of Phoebe's hands and led her back down the aisle. Bella and I followed close accompanied by a chorus of cheers.

"Are you happy?" I asked Bella quietly. It was a ridiculous question considering the smile plastered widely across her features, but I had to be sure.

"Deliriously."

I refused to let go of Bella's hand as we met the photographer at the entrance. She shut the doors behind her so that we could get some photos on the grand staircase and beneath the chandelier. Finally, we went through the doors to the waiting limo. It was only a short distance to the Botanical Gardens, but I didn't want anyone to get sweaty between the wedding and the reception.

Once we reached the gardens, the photographer arranged a series of photos. We spent almost two hours in various poses, smiling and laughing together. It was actually kind of fun, but I hated the fact that Jasper couldn't be there and that Jake would be smiling out from our wedding photos. It felt as if our lives in Sydney had no representation at all.

As the sun started to set and the city lit up, we walked to the Goodwill Bridge and had a few more photos there against the backdrop of the river and Southbank.

After the photographer was satisfied that we had captured enough memories, we headed back to the limo and drove to the Hilton. The photographer got a few more photos in front of the entrance before we all headed back upstairs to the conference room. The room was closed off—all of our guests were already inside.

We waited as the photographer went ahead, closing the door behind her. Before I knew what was happening, I heard the MC announcing Rosalie and Jake. They walked in together to a round of polite applause.

Then the MC started our chosen song for our introduction. "And now," he said. "It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you... Edward and Isabella Masen."

My stomach twisted and my heart leapt hearing her name alongside mine.

_What's meant to be will always find a way,_

I tugged Bella forward into the room filled with our family and friends.

_She's gonna marry that boy someday._

I pulled Bella into the centre of the room and spun her around gently. It was all I could do not to spin her right back out of the door and to our suite in the hotel.

_She's in love with the boy..._

I walked Bella over to the bridal table and pulled out her chair for her.

The MC took over proceedings, instructing the room that anytime anyone clinked their glass with a spoon, Bella and I were supposed to kiss. This of course led to immediate glass clinking, especially from the boys in my pit crew team. I leaned over and kissed Bella's cheek. There was a general cry of descent that I could do better than that, so I guided Bella's lips to mine and kissed her with every ounce of passion I could muster.

The MC then went on to explain the order of events, before announcing the food was due to be served. Bella dug into her food almost the instant it was set in front of her.

"I haven't eaten since breakfast," she explained to me between mouthfuls. "I'm famished."

I cast my eyes around the room at our family and friends. I watched, smiling, as Renee and Mum doted over Phoebe down one end of a table. I was dumbfounded to see my father sitting at the table farthest away from us. I didn't know who had invited him, but I was shocked as shit to see he had actually turned up. I was especially thankful that skank Jessica wasn't with him.

Overall, the dinner was great and the service was impeccable. The night was passing as fast as the wine was flowing. Before I knew it, it was time for the speeches. I glanced anxiously at Charlie, knowing he was first up to the plate. I also knew that there was no one here to give a speech on my behalf. _Fuck. My. Life._

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- I intended to keep up the BPOVs as a thankyou throughout the rest of this story, however Fanfiction has changed the way that you reply to emails and it's not a simple process to reply with the BPOVs. I am going to post all of the BPOVs to date up to the outtakes story. **

**That said, please note I love getting your reviews & hearing from you. I know I fail at responding to them, but honestly they warm my heart & make this completely worthwhile! **

**Songs for this chapter: **

**Walking down the aisle - It Is You (I have loved) - Dana Glover http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=BN_s14Olao4**

**Entrance to reception - She's in love with the boy - Trisha Yearwood http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=mUFObCZtGWQ**


	21. Pros and Cons

**Chapter 21: Pros and Cons**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely beta CorrinaTFF & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

As the MC introduced Charlie, Bella placed her hand over mine in a soothing gesture. She must have noticed the tension in my body, because she gave me a small knowing smile when I looked at her. She was a vision in white, and the reminder that she had agreed to be mine forever just a few hours earlier, helped to relieve a little of my anxiety.

I couldn't relax enough to keep from gritting my teeth as I watched Charlie take the microphone.

"I can't believe my little girl got married today," Charlie started. It almost sounded like he was choking on his emotions or that he was drunk; I couldn't work out which. "But then, this is what she wanted. She has always been stubborn when it comes to getting what she wants. When she was little, she would dig her heels in about almost anything and once she had chosen a path, it was all but impossible to stop her.

"The first day she saw Edward, her first day at Browns Plains Primary, she came home and told us about her hero. When we'd asked her what her hero had done, she responded that he picked her first for a sport. From that day on, Edward became a near-permanent inclusion in our family. If he wasn't at our place, she was at his. Back then, I always thought this day was a foregone conclusion. Everyone thought so. It was easy to see their devotion for one another. I thought nothing could ruin it.

"But then he left her." His statement hung in the air like a bad smell, and he allowed it to fester. He took a sip of his drink and people were starting to wriggle in their seats uncomfortably by the time he started again. "I remember everything about that night. I can still see it clear as day. It was a Wednesday night. They'd fought the weekend before...Bella had called him regularly to try to talk it out. Everyone assumed it was only a matter of time before they were back together again. Every night that week, I heard her sobbing herself to sleep. I remember so clearly wishing I could comfort her but knowing _I_ would never be able."

He stopped, taking another swig of whatever he was drinking. 'Drunk' was starting to beat out 'choked up with emotion' in my mind. "She went out that night, to meet Edward, and when she came back she was different. She was hollow. The daughter I'd raised was gone, leaving a mere shadow in her place."

I could see the mortification on Bella's face, and I wanted to stand up to stop him from saying anything more, but I wasn't sure that it wouldn't make it worse.

"The look on her face when she came home that night." He shivered. "I _never_ want to see that look on anyone's face again for as long as I live. For weeks after that she would barely even move. The first time she showed us any real emotion, anything solid to demonstrate that she was still alive, was when she told us about the baby. Bab_ies_..." he trailed off. "I blame Edward for everything she went through after that night. Everything she lost, he owes to her. I never want to see my baby shattered like that again. I propose a toast; may Edward never again break her heart so utterly and completely."

Utter silence followed his toast, but the MC picked it up quickly. "Join me in a toast to the bride and groom," he said as cheerfully as he could manage under the circumstances. "May their joys be as bright as the morning, and their sorrows but shadows that fade in the sunlight of love."

At his words, everyone stood and toasted. The MC looked almost afraid as he said, "And now we'll hear a few words from the groom."

I swallowed deeply and stood. The words I had prepared were useless in the face of Charlie's speech, so I decided to speak directly from the heart. I took Bella's hand as I raised the microphone to my lips.

"Bella, I'm not an idiot. I know I hurt you, and you know I will never forget how deeply.

"I will forever regret the pain I caused you, and I will always mourn with you what we both have lost.

"But through our separation, I have come to better understand the depth of my love for you. I understand what it is like to live apart from you, so I will _never_ take you for granted. What I said in my wedding vows was one hundred percent true. If I ever forget a single word of them, remind me.

"You and Phoebe mean the world to me, and I will never hurt you again. You are the keeper of my dreams and the guardian of my soul. You hold me safe from all the troubles which threaten to overtake my mind. I can never thank you enough for what you have done by agreeing to be by my side for the rest of my life. I love you. I know my toast was supposed to be directed at my new family, but I can't. So instead, I propose a toast to _you,_ Bella—you are my life, my love and my family."

There were murmurs around the room after the toast.

I passed the mic down to Rosalie who was being introduced by the MC. I wasn't sure which way her speech was going to go. I just hoped the Edward bashing didn't continue. I didn't know how much more I could stand before I just shouted, "Fuck the lot of you" and whisked Bella off to our suite.

"I've known Edward and Bella since they were both around fifteen. I have seen them in their highs, and their lows." Rosalie looked pointedly at Charlie. "When Edward arrived in Brisbane last November, I would never have expected to be on his side. But he did something to me that no one ever does, he answered back. I told him to back away from Bella so she wouldn't get hurt, and he fought back. I knew then that I had encountered a changed man. Since that day, I have born witness to his utter devotion to his girls. I know the path hasn't always been easy for them, and I know that mistakes have been made by both of them along the way, but I can unequivocally say no one will ever love Bella the way Edward does.

"Edward has been unwavering in his course to get his life back on track with Bella, and I think he should be praised for the bravery and commitment he has shown along the way; especially considering the bumps in the road, like magazine articles which anyone with half a brain would recognise as fabrication and lies." She glared at Carlisle, and I groaned into my hands. "I toast to the happy couple. May the best of your yesterdays be the worst of your tomorrows."

Most of the guests were stunned into silence, the rest were laughing raucously, not that I could see anything fucking funny about it. The speeches were supposed to be an opportunity to share insights and, to be honest, I'd been hoping for a bit of a love-in from them. I may have been expecting a little too much, but I really had wanted something more than what we had; a pro- versus anti-Edward debate.

"It'll all be over soon," Bella whispered into my ear. "We'll be in our hotel room, and I'll show you how happy _I_ am then."

I grinned. She always knew the perfect fucking thing to say.

I expected Rosalie's toast to be the last, it wasn't like Jake knew enough about me to have anything to say. But once Rosalie was finished, the screen that had been set up to show photos of Bella and I at various stages of our lives on a constant slideshow suddenly went blank for a second before Jasper's ugly mug filled the screen.

"Squirt," he said, moving a little and wincing in pain before he spoke. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you in person. You know if the docs had given me clearance, I would have been there in a heartbeat."

I nodded stupidly, not knowing whether it was a two-way feed.

"I haven't known Edward for as long as some of the people gathered in that room, but I've known him long enough to see that Bella was made for him. I've seen him do some pretty crazy stuff..." he laughed, no doubt remembering some fucked up thing we'd done together. I rolled my eyes, as if the anti-Edward people gathered there needed more ammunition against me. "But since reuniting with Bella, I've seen a change come over him. He's softened in some ways, but he's so much stronger in others. On the track, he is more focused and determined than I think I have ever seen him—even if he _is_ just driving a Mini." He chuckled to himself.

"His strength and commitment to his family are second to none.

"Bella, I know we didn't get off to the best start. I have to apologise again for what I did. It was stupid, inconsiderate, and I can't even begin to try to justify it. All I can say is that I did it during a time when I didn't understand love, and when I didn't realise how much hurt the one you love can inflict on you. Love can cut you so deeply that you think there is no way you will ever survive the injury, but it can also heal you. I have seen you heal Edward in ways that I never thought possible. I'm sure he probably won't even admit how broken he was. I never realised it until you came back into his life. I had thought he was in control and unbreakable. But in making him stronger, you have demonstrated just how vulnerable he was. I hope we can begin to mend the bridges I have broken, because you are important to the two most important people in my life.

"It says on this piece of paper that Renee sent me before the accident that I am supposed to toast to the bridesmaid, Rosalie. I can't see you, I had to prerecord this, but I'm looking at your picture in _Gossip Weekly,_ and I have no doubt you are smoking in your dress. To Rosalie, for being there for Bella now and always."

I stood and toasted Rosalie, giving her an extra round of applause. The MC grabbed control of the night again, and everyone else seemed as relieved as I was that the speeches were behind us.

Before long, Bella and I were called over to cut the cake. We waited for the photographer to take what felt like one hundred and one photos. Then after the official photographer was finished, we had to pose for all the amateur photographers amongst our family and friends. Finally, it was time to cut the damn thing, but it almost seemed a shame to take a knife to the three-layer masterpiece covered in sugar flowers.

The cake was whisked off as soon as our hands left the knife. We had ordered mud cake so that it could be served as dessert. While it was off being sliced, diced and garnished with cream, we were directed to the dance floor. The night was flying by in a haze.

The MC gathered the crowd, before starting the music, lowering the lights and setting the spotlight on us. "Please welcome to the floor, Mr. and Mrs. Masen for their first dance as a married couple."

I offered Bella my hand in invitation. Even though I had known what was coming, I was blown away by the emotions that coursed through me as I guided Bella in front of me. I was glad that the music was a decent speed because it allowed me to lead Bella smoothly around the floor with what little rhythm I had.

_Look outside, it's already light and the stars ran away with the night  
Things we're said, words that we'll try forget, it's so hard to admit  
I know we've made mistakes  
I see through all the tears  
but that's what got us here_

Bella didn't know, but I had been listening to the song over and over in the car. I wanted to be able to sing the lyrics to her as she danced. There was a reason I had selected the song after many hours of deliberation; it was _our_ song. It told our story more succinctly than I ever could.

_If love is an ocean wide  
We'll swim in the tears we cry  
They'll see us through to the other side  
We're gonna make it_

_When love is a raging sea  
You can hold on to me  
We'll find a way tonight  
Love is an ocean wide_

At first, I twisted Bella around and gently dipped her as I serenaded her. The song was an extension of my vows. Before long, the rest of the world fell away and it was just Bella and I swaying gently in our own private bubble. I brought her hands to my chest, pressing them gently so that her palms rested over my heart. I dipped my head down and infused every word I sang with all the meaning I could muster.

_I'll stay right here  
It's where I'll always belong  
Tied with your arms  
Days like this, I wish the sun wouldn't set  
I don't want to forget_

_What made us feel this way  
You see through all my fears  
And that's what got us here_

We swayed against each other through the chorus and continued, even after the music had faded away.

"I love you so fucking much, Bella," I whispered to her, causing her to giggle. It broke the moment, but it had to, if the intensity wasn't broken somehow I probably would have taken her right there in front of all of our guests. I figured that wasn't the sort of 'first dance' they wanted to see.

"Wow," the MC enthused. "Feel that love! Let's keep the love-fest happening, with the Daddy-daughter dance. And just in case you are wondering, there is a bit of a difference tonight because all the songs were specially requested by the groom."

I dropped Bella's hand, but didn't leave the dance floor. Bella looked uncertainly at me, but I just winked at her and indicated she should go to Charlie. I headed in my own direction as the song started. It was a nice slow but surfer-style sound. I held out my arms in invitation for my little daughter, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her up to my height. I slotted her into place on my hip and headed around the dance floor with her in my arms.

_Whenever I think about what I lost, I change my mind instead to what I've still got,_

_Because I've got you, I said I got you_

_You can call me papa, and I'll call you baby, don't forget your mamas my, baby too_

_Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be there, I'll be there for you_

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella and Charlie dancing too, there seemed to be a little bit of tension between them. Bella's entire body seemed rigid, much more so than in our dance just a few minutes prior. For our part, Phoebe and I just danced and giggled until the song came to a close.

"Aw, how's that?" the MC called. "Any sweeter and we'd all have cavities."

I flashed Bella a smile as the next song came on. The MC invited everyone to dance and announced the cake would be served in fifteen minutes. The music switched up to some party starters. Some people took to the dance floor, while others returned to their seats. But almost everyone took at least a minute to come up to either Bella or I to congratulate us and wish us good luck.

I was so fucking happy, the formalities were largely over and done with, and Bella was officially mine. It was just time to let down our hair and party. We mingled and mixed, but found ourselves constantly drawn back to one another. Inevitably, every time we came within a few metres of each other, someone would clink their glass and we would have to kiss. My only complaint in the whole deal was that my cock was getting harder and harder each time. I wanted her so fucking badly, but I knew I was still a few hours off claiming her to consummate our marriage. I considered asking if she would complain about running upstairs to the suite for a quickie, but I knew it was impossible because people would realise we were gone.

After the cake, Mum brought Phoebe over to say goodnight. We both kissed her and hugged her, wishing her happy dreams. It had already been organised that she would stay in the hotel, but in a room with Mum. That way she'd be close by if anything happened, but—barring an emergency—Bella and I would be uninterrupted. _All. Night. Long._ Bella raised her eyebrow when she noticed my smirk, but I just shrugged. She knew what I was fucking smiling about. I could tell by her come-fuck-me eyes.

I circulated some more, spending a few minutes chatting with my teammates. Carlisle and Esme came over and gave me their best wishes.

"I'm sorry that you didn't make the two poles needed to claim your honeymoon," Carlisle said. "I had hoped to be able to offer you a chance to get away."

I nodded. "I had been looking forward to going back to London too."

He sighed. "If only circumstances had been a little different. But it might be a good thing in the end, I need you at a few track days coming up."

I grinned, knowing it was his way of letting me know I was still in the V8 for the enduros. I wasn't sure exactly how he was going to manage it with Jasper off the track, but I was willing to go for a little trust. "Tell me when and I'll be there. What happened to Jasper is all kinds of fucked up"—in ways I didn't know whether Carlisle was willing to acknowledge—"but we'll get through it."

He nodded and looked across the room. I followed his eyes and saw him regarding Bella. "She really is good for you. You two are made for one another, don't let anyone tell you any different."

"Don't worry, Old Man, I won't." I slapped his back gently.

"Less of the 'Old Man', thank you very much." Carlisle laughed. "I can still call everything off."

I shrugged. "Yeah, but who else could you get on such short notice?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised."

"Yeah, but would they have my mad skills?"

He laughed.

Bella came over and touched my arm lightly. "I think they want to do the bouquet toss now."

I nodded and clasped her hand. I never knew how much fucking organising went into this wedding shit. Even while I was supposed to be having fun and socialising with guests, I was being pulled from pillar to post.

The MC gathered all the single girls around and lined them up. Bella turned her back to them and threw the bouquet into the air. Before it had even landed, the girls were clamouring for it, roughly pushing and pulling at it and each other. It wouldn't have surprised me if they'd started sinking their teeth into one another next. Women were fucking scary sometimes.

After watching that ruckus, I was a little worried about the next part of the evening. Bella had no idea what Jasper and I had hatched up. I had absolutely no doubt that she would not approve in the least. I was glad that Jake had seen the humour in it and agreed to go along with it.

Finally, one of Bella's uni mates emerged victorious with the then tattered bouquet held aloft. I shook my head, and bit my lip, as I watched them bring out the chair and set everything up. I was looking forward to having a little fun. I just hoped I'd still have a wife at the end of it.

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Songs from this chapter: **

**First Dance: Ocean Wide (The Afters) www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=M_AK-s_lg6o**

**Daddy/Daughter Dance: Call me Papa (Donavon Frankenreiter) www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=HqIdTPIHfAw**


	22. Naughty Nasty Boy

**Chapter 22: Naughty Nasty Boy**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

**A/N:- Usually I'd only put the song at the end, but if you want the full effect of the first part of this chap, it will help to have the song in your head if you don't know it ;) Naughty Nasty Boy by Christina Aguilera http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=xfXEBFrOCw8&feature=related**

~ 0 ~

Bella sat on the chair provided for her; it had a white sheet covering it so no one could see what was hidden just underneath. The MC started the song for the removal of the garter, and I began performing my stripper moves for Bella, which turned her skin a delicious shade of pink.

_Come here big boy_

I slowly slid my hand down Bella's dress and then gently clasped her ankle. I made a little circle there with my thumb—a subtle promise of things to come later. I slid my hand further up her leg under the cover of her dress, which wasn't as tight as it had first appeared. I teasingly ran my fingers softly along her inner thigh.

_You've been a bad bad boy_

_I'm gonna take my time so enjoy_

_There's no need to feel no shame_

_Relax and sip upon my champagne_

"Alright..." the MC started, "he's going in! Now remember, Edward... you want the garter; just the garter—not the whole belt."

I lifted Bella's dress over my head and settled in to the wonderful little space with her barely covered legs.

_'Cause I wanna give you a little taste_

_Of the sugar below my waist_

_You nasty boy_

I kissed Bella's thigh to distract her while I fished under the back of her dress and reached below the sheet for the box of goodies Jake had left under the seat while the girls were fighting over the flowers.

_I'll give you some ooh la la_

_Voulez-vous coucher avec moi_

I pulled a tiny, lacy g-string out of the box first. I continued to run my lips along Bella's thigh while I lifted my 'prize' out from under her dress before shaking it a few times and then pressing it into Jake's hand.

"Not THOSE, Edward," the MC said as the crowd giggled, and I lapped it up. "Aim a little lower maybe?" the MC suggested.

_I got you breaking into a sweat_

_Got you hot bothered and wet_

_You nasty boy (nasty naughty boy)_

I reached back under her dress and into the box, never breaking my contact with her skin. I wondered if I would be able to push my lips higher. I snaked my tongue out and licked a patch of flesh that was showing just above her lace-topped stockings, enjoying it all the more when she squirmed slightly in her seat.

_Baby for all it's worth_

_I swear I'll be the first to blow your mind_

I pulled the Yellow Pages out of the box, using both hands to lift it out. I placed it on the dance floor before pushing it out into the open between my legs.

_Now if you're ready come and get me_

_I'll give you that hot sweet sexy lovin' (lovin')_

"Well..." the MC quipped, "we can see that he lets his fingers do the walking."

_Hush now don't say a word_

_I'm gonna give you what you deserve_

I reached back into the box, knowing the next lines of the song. I reached in and pulled out a novelty toy cake that sang 'Happy Birthday' when it was switched on.

_Now you better give me a little taste_

_Put your icing on my cake_

I heard the MC chuckle into the microphone. "Are you giving her your special frosting, Edward?"

I nodded emphatically under the dress, feeling the material rise and fall rapidly against my back as I did.

_You nasty boy (boy)_

_Oh no_

I knew I wouldn't be able to get away with the gag much longer, so I reached in for the second to last item we had placed in there. I clasped the toy cat and held it up as high as I could without relinquishing my hidey-hole before passing it to Bella.

I heard the MC laughing hard before he gathered himself enough to speak. "Well, it's obvious _someone_ knows how to handle her pussy."

_Ooh there I go again_

_I need a spanking coz I've been bad_

Bella whacked the back of my head, and I guiltily shrugged against her. I was quite happy in my private tent. Just me, her legs, and her...

_So let my body do the talkin'_

_I'll slip you that hot sweet sexy lovin' (lovin')_

I pulled the remaining item, a black lace garter, free and held it aloft as I climbed out from beneath Bella's dress. I decided I would definitely have to revisit there later—hopefully not too much later. I turned back to wink at her, and I knew a goofy-ass grin was probably plastered across my face, but I didn't care.

Her actual garter remained in-situ and I would remove it in private…preferably with my teeth. The garter I held in my hands was a spare that I had put into the box. There was no way in hell I was going to throw anything that had rested against her thigh into a pack of salivating wolves.

I flung the garter high into the air aiming at the loosely gathered men and then pulled Bella into me.

"You're going to pay for that later," she hissed into my ear.

"I was counting on it," I whispered back before kissing and nibbling on her lobe. I was harder than fucking cement, and I didn't care who saw it.

"Come on, let's dance a while," she said, rolling her eyes and pulling me gently to the middle of the half-full dance floor. I saw Charlie watching us as I twirled her around the room and knew that the time was right for my other plan; my "get back at Charlie for being a wank during the speeches" plan. In truth, I had arranged it long before then, but his performance during our special moment gave me all the ammunition I needed to follow it through. I nodded to the MC to let him know I was ready for my next song request.

Less than a minute later, the song I had selected began to play. I swept one hand slowly down Bella's back, before pushing against the small of her back to press her tightly against me. With the other hand, I brushed the hair off her neck and as the song started, I breathed the lyrics into her neck.

_I love the way ya look tonight _

_With your hair hangin' down on your shoulders _

_And I love the way ya dance your slow sweet tango _

_The way ya wanna do everything but talk _

As we danced, and I whispered the lyrics to her, I rubbed my hands along her bare shoulders. Slowly, I traced my fingers from the nape of her neck to her wrists and back.

_And how ya stare at me with those undress me eyes _

_Your breath on my body makes me warm inside _

_Let's make out - let's do something amazing _

_Let's do something that's all the way_

I twisted her around, so that her back pressed into my chest. I wrapped my arm around her waist and ground my hips against her ass. I guided her hands behind her and onto my thighs as I continued to caress her stomach. I could tell Bella was letting herself go, relishing in the sensation and the music.

She turned her head toward mine, closing her eyes and moaning softly.

I kissed her cheek and then made my way down her throat, breathing the words across her skin.

_'cause I've never touched somebody like the way I touch _

_Your body _

_Now I never want to let your body go... _

I turned my head to make sure Charlie could see his daughter unravel in my arms. I knew what I did to her; the same thing she did to me. My hard-on was pressed firmly into her ass. I splayed one hand out across her throat and chest. The other pressed her stomach firmly, guiding her body ever closer to me and pinning her there. There wasn't even a centimetre of space between us.

_Let's make honey baby - soft and tender _

_Let's make sugar darlin' - sweet surrender _

_Let's make a night - to remember - all life long_

"Fuck I want you, baby," I whispered into her, pulling her closer still.

"Mmm," she agreed. "I need you."

"Soon, baby, soon," I promised.

I looked over at Charlie. He was attempting to look distracted and keep his eyes anywhere but firmly planted on us. However, I could tell by his rigid stance and the way he kept clenching and unclenching his fists, that he could see me. No doubt, he was disgusted at our display on the dance floor, but I could care less. The way Bella's body reacted to mine, and mine to hers, were a big part of the reason why I wasn't afraid of forever with her anymore. I had come to cherish our unique magnetic draw that had once scared the living shit out of me.

_Can't you see you drive me outta my mind? _

_Well I'm never holdin' back again _

_Yeah I never want this night to end_

I ran my hand along her thigh on the outside of her dress. I brought my mouth back to her throat before turning her around to face me again. I kissed her hard, forcing my tongue into her mouth. She responded, returning every ounce of passion I gave her. It was almost surprising that we didn't rip our clothes off then and there.

_'cause I've never touched somebody like the way I touch your body_

_Now I never want to let your body go..._

After the song ended, Bella backed away panting slightly. Her eyes held the promise of a long night to come.

I turned away from the crowd so that I could adjust the now-painful lump in my pants.

Bella was whisked away by Angela and Rosalie for something or other, which I didn't understand—although I was certain I had heard the words "Jager" and "bombs" used repeatedly in their conversation.

I turned around to mingle some more and came face to face with Charlie. "I know what you are doing," he hissed.

"I'm not doing anything." I shrugged innocently.

"It's bad enough to know that you two are married now, I don't need to be subjected to _displays_ like that."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Bella is my _wife._ I will touch her where I want, when I want and how I want."

"Even against her will?" He had seized onto my words and bent them to his own requirements.

I scoffed. "I don't know what you think you were watching, but that was hardly against her will."

"I was watching you use my daughter as a pawn against me."

I grew angry. "Fuck, Charlie, not everything in this world is about you."

"Are you denying it?"

"I just wanted to fucking dance with my wife, is that all right with you? Or do I need to get a signed permission slip even though she is a grown woman?" I was beginning to shout. Obviously it caught my father's attention from the corner of the room because he came barrelling up to us.

"Charlie, you need to lay off Edward!" he snapped.

"Dad, leave it," I warned. I didn't need his lame-ass protective bullshit now, especially when I didn't even understand why he was really here.

"Maybe if you had set a better example of treating people with respect, we wouldn't be here right now," Charlie hissed back.

"How dare you! You know nothing about what I have taught, Edward."

"I know enough police to be able to look at the evidence in question and make informed judgements."

"Please, guys." I forced myself between the two of them. "Knock it off, you're causing a scene."

"I'm just telling Charlie here that he should get over it." Dad crossed his arms.

"Get over it?" Charlie fumed. "You weren't the one who had to force-feed their child when their heart had been broken. Who had to wake at three a.m. to check on them and make sure they hadn't done something stupid. Who lay awake until all hours of the morning every single day listening to the utter heartbreak of their daughter who sobbed herself to sleep. Who had to help his grown daughter do the simplest things—like shower and change. You have no idea what Ren, Em and I went through to look after Bella during those first few weeks after the breakup. You will _never_ understand."

"So tell me," I whispered. Everyone had hinted at Bella's pain, but having Charlie spell out why he was so angry at me so plainly, hit very hard. "_Help me_ understand."

"What?" he exclaimed in surprise.

"Tell me everything she went through, I want to know."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know. I want to know everything about Bella. I know you don't believe me, but I love her. I don't want to skip over the bad stuff, I want to know," I answered honestly. "And I want to never do it again."

"I don't..." Charlie sighed. "I don't know if I can go into all the details."

"I'm not going to force you to. I just want you to know that I'm not going to ignore what happened, and I don't expect you to get over it." I glared at my father; I couldn't believe the things that he had said. I was furious that he was even trying to defend me when he didn't understand—when he was a big part of the reason that I had ran in the first place. I turned my back to him, facing Charlie. I heard Dad huff and ignored him as he stormed off. "I understand why you are pissed off at me," I said to Charlie. "Really, I do. I get it. If someone fucked with Bella, or Phoebe..." I growled. "I would fucking rip them a new one."

Charlie chuckled before quickly stifling it.

"I'm not asking for you to forgive me for what I've done," I said, rolling with the momentum of the small piece of goodwill I felt from him. "I'm just asking you to give me another shot—to try to make right what I fucked up."

Charlie regarded me carefully.

"It doesn't fucking matter to me," I said. "I'm a big boy, and I can handle your hatred, but don't you think it'd be easier on the girls if we could just get along?"

He hummed but didn't say anything more.

Bella came back over to us, giggling her head off. Whatever Angela and Rosalie had done with her, had clearly pushed her over some edge.

"You two aren't fighting again, are you?" she asked, pointing her finger between Charlie and me.

I stifled my grin at her playfulness and shook my head. "Us? Fight? Never!"

Bella snorted. "You two hate each other."

"That's not true, love," I said. "I don't have a problem with Charlie...he has a problem with me."

"For good reason," Charlie added gruffly.

"For good reason," I agreed.

Our eyes met briefly, and I felt the chasm between us shrink—just a little.

"Just so you know...I want you in me all night long tonight," Bella murmured in my ear. Her intent may have been to whisper, but it came out more like a yell.

I tried not to grin at the look on Charlie's face as her words sunk in.

From then on, the night couldn't end fast enough for me.

Bella slowly sobered up a bit and by the time the night started to wind down, she was just a little tipsy.

We said our farewell to everyone in a unique twist on the receiving line. The MC gathered all the guests into a large circle and we had a few minutes one on one with everyone as we made our way around the circle, kissing as our paths intersected.

For our goodbyes, Bella and I had selected songs that would reflect the positivity we felt about our marriage. We hoped that it would help everyone realise that we were happy and allow us to move on to the next phase of our lives without the baggage of their disapproval.

Each person had at least a few words of encouragement as I greeted them. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella. Just before we intersected, the song changed and by the time we came to each other the lyrics were telling us, _don't be afraid we'll make it through_.

Finally, the party wound down and the last few guests left. Bella tried to find Rosalie for a final farewell and thank you, but was told she'd already left for the evening. The last of the stragglers were being led out by the hotel staff, so Bella and I were free to go whenever we wanted.

Grinning widely, I grabbed Bella's hand and led her to the elevators. I chuckled as I realised how eerily similar it was to the last time we had stayed at the Hilton together—right down to the room card burning a hole in my tuxedo pocket. Only this time, there were no nerves, only anticipation.

The elevator doors opened and, hand in hand, Bella and I stepped into our future.

~ 0 ~

We began to attack each other before the elevator doors had even shut. The short trip to our floor was almost torturous after the hours-long seduction we'd experienced. However, it was long enough for Bella to undo my tie and rake her hands through my hair to pull me into her.

When the elevator dinged at our floor and the doors opened, I swept Bella up into my arms and carried her down the hallway toward our room. I set her on the floor long enough to negotiate the door open and then picked her up again to carry her across the threshold.

"Mrs. Masen," I whispered in reverence. I couldn't comprehend or contain the love and excitement that threatened to burst from my chest at the mere utterance of those words.

Her lips crashed into mine, and she began tugging on the buttons of my shirt. I could see she was eager for more, for us to lie skin to skin, and I was willing to oblige. But I wanted one thing first.

"Stop," I whispered into her mouth before putting her back onto the ground again. I circled around her slowly, taking in the magnificence that was Bella in her wedding dress. I stopped when I stood directly in front of her, and reached out for her hand. She complied willingly, and followed my slow backward steps. I silently led her to the couch and motioned for her to stop. I sat in front of her, taking another moment to drink her in with my eyes.

I raised my arm toward her slowly before trailing it down the length of her dress to the floor. The material was soft and smooth beneath my fingers, but I knew her skin would be softer and smoother still. I dipped my fingers underneath her dress before running my hand up her leg. My other hand made short work of the buttons on my tuxedo pants and I lifted my ass just long enough to push all the clothing off the lower half of my body. I reached for Bella's panties and pulled them off swiftly, leaving her deliciously bare under her dress.

She took the lead then, planting one knee on the couch to the left side of me and guiding her hips over mine. My fingers traced small patterns on her ass as she lowered herself onto me. I closed my eyes and hissed at the feeling of relief that washed over me as I became buried within her.

We moved together slowly, alternating between staring at each other intently and kissing each other tenderly.

I couldn't get over how fantastic she looked while fucking me in her wedding dress.

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- So, as per the top AN the first song in this chapter is Naughty Nasty Boy by Christina Aguilera http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=xfXEBFrOCw8&feature=related**

**The second song: Let's Make it a Night to Remember by Bryan Adams .com/watch?v=WJZTxIAB_ew&feature=related**

**The Farewell Circle songs: 1st one: I've Had The Time of My Life (from Dirty Dancing) http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=WpmILPAcRQo&feature=fvwrel**

**2nd one: The Moon Comes Up by Boy in a Box http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=mVFs7b7dJXA**


	23. Expecting

**Chapter 23: Expecting**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

I held Bella tightly under my arm as she murmured in her sleep, muttering repeats of all the things she had said during the day. Our wedding day. I could hardly believe it had come and gone already, and now she really was mine.

I thought back over the event and realised I wouldn't change a thing. Despite the shittiness and fuckery of the speeches, it all ended exactly where I'd wanted it to. I twisted out of Bella's grip a little before turning over to hover above her. She looked peaceful as she slept soundly with a grin on her face. A slight sheen of sweat coated her naked body-no doubt a result of our hours spent together before falling in an exhausted heap.

After the session on the couch, which was over much too quickly for either of our liking, Bella had led me into the bedroom where I had stripped her slowly; although the pace was more due to all of the buttons and fasteners on her dress and underwear than any desire on my part to go slow.

After Bella was naked aside from her jewellery, I peeled my own clothes away piece by piece. Bella watched appreciatively while removing the diamonds and gold that seemed to be dripping from her and put them all away in their proper cases. Then she held out her hand, complete with her new gold band, and led me into the bathroom.

I helped pull the metal from her hair—I still remembered the booby trap that had awaited an unsuspecting hand from the night of our formal—before helping her into the shower.

We caressed each other under the cascade of water provided by the large, roof-mounted shower-head. The water caused Bella's make-up to run, so I grabbed the face cloth and gently wiped at her cheeks and mouth. She pouted her lips as I ran the cloth over them, and it was too much temptation for me. I dipped my head down to meet her lips, hoping desperately to convey my passion with the right combination of lips and tongue.

I stepped back from her and blew out a breath. She grinned wildly up at me, and I knew she was feeling all the same things I was. Effectively nothing had changed from a week before, and yet everything had. We would still be living together just as we had been, only now it would be as man and wife.

I handed Bella the face cloth, and she swiped at her eyes a few times until all the black was gone.

"There's the woman I love," I murmured, touching one finger to her chin.

"Was my make-up that bad?" she joked.

"You don't need all that goop on your face to be beautiful."

She smiled at me before turning the water off.

We slipped into the large, fluffy white bathrobes provided by the hotel and stepped back into the bedroom, completing the few tasks that needed attendance before we could devour each other. As we moved around one another wordlessly, we watched each other hungrily-both eager for the moment we would begin our seduction again.

Finally the urgent tasks were seen to, and it was time to come together again. We raced at each other so quickly that it was almost as if a starter's gun had been fired. Bathrobes were discarded with reckless abandon, limbs tackled each other for dominance, and mouths moved steadily along skin. No matter how much I had, I wanted more. No matter how much skin touched, it wasn't enough.

~ 0 ~

"Good morning, sleepy head." Bella greeted me with a cup of coffee in hand, sitting on the couch almost precisely where she'd fucked me for the first time as my wife. She was wearing the bathrobe again and her hair was wet. She'd obviously been up for a while and had showered while I was sleeping. "I ordered breakfast."

I thanked her as I leaned over to kiss her before helping myself to a plate of bacon and eggs from the room service trolley.

"Sleep well?" she asked, unable to wipe the grin off her face.

I nodded as I chewed my breakfast through a wide smirk of my own.

She watched thoughtfully as I ate.

"What's on the agenda today?" she asked as I finished off the last few mouthfuls. She reached forward to place her cup back onto the trolley, showing off a significant amount of thigh and boobs.

"I suppose staying here and fucking like animals is out of the question?"

She laughed.

I raised my eyebrow at her to let her know that I wasn't joking. Even after our effort last night, I wasn't nearly finished celebrating our marriage.

She stood and walked over to me before placing my plate back onto the tray. She rested her legs on either side of mine and positioned herself onto my lap. "We can't do that _all_ day."

"We can try." I kissed her neck slowly, feeling myself growing harder against her.

A knock on the door startled both of us, and we jumped to our feet. Being the most dressed of the two of us, even though I was only wearing shorts, I stood to answer it while Bella ducked into the bedroom.

Mum and Phoebe stood waiting outside the door. "Hey baby!" I said, scooping Phoebe into my arms.

"Morning, Daddy," she exclaimed excitedly.

"I'm not interrupting am I?" Mum asked.

I shook my head. She was, but I wasn't about to let her know that.

"I come bearing news," Mum said. "Where's Bella?"

I heard the bedroom door open again. I looked over and saw Bella stepping out wearing a loose-fitting sundress. "I'm here…what is it?"

"It's Rosalie," Mum said, her face breaking out into a grin. "She went into labour last night, but we didn't want to disturb you two until we absolutely had to. She's at the hospital as we speak."

"Oh my god," Bella exclaimed. "Oh my god!" She looked over to me. "Edward—"

"I know," I interrupted. "Go finish getting ready, and then we'll go."

"Do you want me to watch Phoebe a little longer?" Mum asked as Bella disappeared back into the room.

I nodded. "If you don't mind, that would be great. It'll be one less thing for Bella to stress about. I know this visit isn't going to be easy on her." I was just hoping for a perfect outcome for mother and child.

Mum touched my cheek tenderly. "My little boy is well and truly grown up now, isn't he?"

I shrugged her off. I was doing what I thought Bella needed, that's all that mattered to me.

Within ten minutes Bella and I were in a taxi on the way to the Royal Brisbane Hospital. Bella was a bundle of nervous energy beside me, her foot bouncing excitedly.

"Are you okay?" I asked as the taxi dropped us at the front door. It was our second visit to a hospital in a week, only I hoped this was for a much happier occasion.

Bella nodded as she looked up at the building in front of her. I knew that she had spent so much time there in Phoebe's early life that just the sight of the place was bound to cause her some panic. I rubbed my hand gently on the small of her back.

"It's fine," I murmured quietly into her ear. "Everything will be alright."

"How do you know for sure?" she asked, turning to me and I saw all of her fears, and all of the reasons she didn't want to try for more children, written on her face.

"I don't," I admitted. "But sometimes you've got to have a little bit of faith."

She took a deep breath and walked into the hospital with me in tow.

~ 0 ~

As soon as news went out that Bella and I had arrived, she was whisked off to join Emmett and Renee who were already helping Rosalie in the birthing suite. I was all for it, until I realised it left me alone in the waiting room with Killer Charlie.

"Didn't expect to see you again so soon," Charlie muttered, looking up over the top of a magazine at me. He seemed surprised to see me there, as if he thought I'd simply drop Bella at the hospital and leave her alone. As if I could. I didn't know how long we were going to be thrust together, but I figured it was fate or the universe or some shit trying to tell me to play nice and try to patch things up with my father-in-law.

"We came as soon as we heard."

"You may as well sit," he muttered. "We could be here for a while. Ren was in labour with Bells for almost a whole day."

_A day stuck alone with Charlie?_

I was in some kind of hell. Or maybe I wasn't, maybe it was just opportunity knocking loudly on the door.

"How about when Bella was in here?" I asked. "With the twins?" I prompted.

He flinched at my mention of Bella's hospital trip, before looking back at me and meeting my eyes. Something he saw there must have given him encouragement to continue. "No, Bells' trip was much quicker, because of the emergency. She was taken straight into surgery to have her caesarean. She wasn't even awake when the babies were born."

I sat on the single seater lounge across from him. "Were you there for her?" I asked.

"Everyone came. Everyone who cared about her was there when she needed them."

"No," I said adamantly. "Not everyone. I still cared for her. If I had even the slightest inkling of what was going on with her, and if my head wasn't in my ass at the time, I would have been there for her too."

"If you cared so much, why did you leave? You had to know it would hurt her."

"Of course I did," I snapped, before instantly regretting my tone. "I just thought it would be better for her in the long run. I didn't think I wanted—" I laughed bitterly at the stupidity of my younger self, and of what it had cost me. "Well everything I've got now actually."

"I'll never understand how you could walk away so callously. Even if you didn't know about the pregnancy and all that other stuff, how could you just leave?"

I sighed. I didn't think I would be able to adequately describe my thought process from when I'd left Bella; I barely understood it myself. I turned the question back on him. "Before I left, would you have said I loved her?"

He regarded me for a few moments. "Yes," he answered somewhat begrudgingly.

"Then you have to understand that I didn't _just leave_. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, which is why I know I'll never do it again. I can't live without her, Charlie."

"I still don't understand how you could do it," he admitted.

I chuckled darkly. "Neither do I, but it seemed like the only logical solution to my seventeen year old self. And then I was too stubborn and hurting too much to fix it."

He hummed and then sat in quiet contemplation for a few minutes. I thought the conversation was over until he finally spoke. "So how do you know you're not going anywhere this time? How do you know that you won't think it's the best thing for her again?"

"Because I know now that she needs me as much as I need her. And I need her like I need oxygen."

Charlie and I were still not quite back to where we had been before my disappearing act. I could see by the softer expression on his face that he at least realised that I wasn't going anywhere, and maybe that walking away hadn't been as easy for me as he'd originally thought.

We sat in silence for another hour before Bella came back out from the delivery room. "It's a little boy," she said, a smile beaming on her face. "Mum and bub are both doing great. Rosie's just being moved to the ward now, but she's asking for you, Dad."

Charlie's smile matched Bella's, and for half a second, I felt like I was intruding on a personal moment. He stood and walked past Bella, giving her a little squeeze as he went.

I waited as Bella walked over to me and sat on my lap, sighing softly. I wrapped my arms around her gently, trying to anticipate the different emotions that could overwhelm us both.

"Are you alright?" I whispered quietly, giving her the opportunity to admit it privately if she wasn't. I was worried that seeing Rosalie give birth to a healthy baby boy would cause her some grief.

She gave me an odd look, no doubt questioning my probe. I chuckled softly. "Never mind, I just thought…"

She nodded quickly, her expression showing she had realised where I was coming from. "Really, I'm alright. In fact, I'm better than alright. It was just so special being in there and seeing how different things can be."

I stroked her hair softly.

"It's nice to be reminded that not every birth is a death."

I kissed her hand, uncertain what else to say.

"Rosalie was asking for you too."

"Really?" I asked, somewhat shocked.

She laughed. "Of course, don't sound so surprised. You're family now."

"Whether they like it or not?" I chuckled.

Bella laughed in response.

"Shall we give your folks a few moments alone with them?"

She nodded against me.

"How about we go to the gift shop while we wait?"

"You really are a softy, you know?" She laughed before standing and offering her hand to me.

"Just don't tell anyone." I winked at her.

~ 0 ~

We found an extremely overpriced gift basket with a little blue teddy bear and some chocolates in the hospital gift shop. We decided to stop for a quick drink while we waited, to give Renee and Charlie some extra quality time with the new family. Bella told me about the part of the birth she had witnessed—although I suspected that she edited the story heavily.

We headed back to the maternity ward and found Rosalie's room. We quietly made our way through the door, just as Renee and Charlie were leaving. Renee touched my shoulder lightly as they passed. Bella's hand grabbed onto mine, and she tugged me the last of the distance to Rosalie's bed.

Rosalie was sitting upright in the bed with a tiny bundle of blankets cradled to her chest. She looked exhausted but thrilled.

"Hey Mummy," Bella murmured, bending down to kiss Rosalie's cheek. "How is he?"

"Who? Henry or Emmett?" Rosalie giggled. I couldn't say when—or if—I had ever seen her so full of joy and peace.

Emmett stood then, juggling a pile of clothes and nappies and a bag.

"Did someone say my—" his eyes fell on me, and he stopped cold.

Bella squeezed my hand; I wasn't sure whether it was in support or to tell me to say something.

"Congratulations," I said, smiling in what I hoped was a winning way.

Emmett seemed to regard me for a moment, before smiling weakly. "Thanks."

I felt both Bella and Rosalie relax as the tension broke a little.

"May I?" Bella asked Rosalie, who paused for just a second before nodding and passing the bundle across.

Bella's well practised hands cradled the baby in what I assumed were all the right places to ensure nothing happened to him. I watched in amazement as a tiny little face and two clenched fists poked out from the blankets. He was so tiny. I couldn't image Phoebe ever being so small, even though I knew logically that she had been—maybe even smaller.

Bella squished in beside Rosalie on the bed, bouncing and shushing the baby like a pro.

I realised she was such a natural mother and felt the renewed sting of her confession about not wanting any more kids. I wondered whether she had felt a similar pain each time I had professed the same desire. If so, I was hurting her long before I left.

Rosalie and Bella sat side by side on the bed whispering about something or other, and I again felt like I didn't belong. I wasn't about to go up and clap Emmett on the back for a job well done-awkward congrats was the best Bella and Rosalie could hope to expect.

Rosalie nodded about something and suddenly Bella stood. "Here, why don't you have a nurse?"

She held the baby out to me, and I shook my head. She looked almost amused. "Why not?"

I bit my lip before whispering, "What if I hurt him?"

She smiled in what I was certain was meant to be an assuring way. "You won't hurt him."

I looked at the little bundle again; it seemed so small and fragile, like the slightest breeze would break it apart.

"If you are worried, sit down," Rosalie said, smiling widely.

I sat in a vacant armchair in the corner of the room, swallowing nervously. Emmett skulked by Rosalie, watching intently—as if daring me to make a false move. Once I was seated, Bella explained how to hold my arms before placing the baby into them. The bundle felt almost weightless once I was cradling it on my own. I watched as his little eyes—wide and unfocused—roamed all around the room as his tiny fists clenched and unclenched by his mouth.

"You're a natural," Rosalie cooed. "Remember that hold for when you have more of your own."

Bella shifted nervously beside me, but I didn't think Rosalie or Emmett noticed. If she hadn't told them that she didn't want more kids, I wasn't going to spill her secret. Instead, I just ignored Rosalie's statement. Luckily, Henry seemed to have impeccable timing and started crying before the silence had become awkward and questions were asked of either Bella or I.

Bella lifted the baby out of my arms and passed him back to Rosalie before we made our excuses to leave. I knew any tentative peace between Emmett and I wouldn't last me being present while Rosalie breastfed.

We had a quiet journey back to the hotel where we went straight to the room that Phoebe shared with Mum. We didn't even really discuss it, but being around one new little family made us both long to be with our own. We got Phoebe ready before heading out to Southbank and the museums together. It wasn't exactly how I envisaged spending the day after my wedding, but afterward I couldn't have imagined it any other way.

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Just wanted to say Hi! I'm still here ;) Hope you are all still enjoying, I love hearing from you.**


	24. Honeymoon

**Chapter 24: Honeymoon**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

Phoebe couldn't have been more excited with the news about her new little cousin. At least once an hour, while at Southbank, we were asked when we would be going to see little Henry.. We wanted to take her to see him, but didn't want to disturb the other mothers in the maternity ward with an excited toddler. We agreed instead to wait for him to go home—Rosalie had already indicated, repeatedly, that she wouldn't be staying at hospital long.

When it was time to check-out, we packed up the Monaro and headed back to see Mum in Browns Plains. Upon finishing her holiday, Mum had moved back into our old house, and when we returned from our day out, she discreetly let me know that she had plenty of space if we wanted to stay. I agreed readily because I could easily see that Bella wanted to hang around to help Rosalie once she got home from the hospital.

It was surreal entering my old childhood home knowing that someone else had lived there for so many months. All of the furniture was still in place, but the personal touches that had made it our home were still packed away in boxes. I didn't know whether Mum would actually pull any of it back out or if she would just begin filling the shelves with new memories.

We settled in quickly and almost immediately realised the convenience of having a live-in babysitter—a convenience we were sure to take advantage of during our honeymoon. Mum seemed to appreciate the fact that we were newlyweds, declaring within moments of our arrival that she wanted to buy something for Phoebe. She not-so-subtly took Phoebe out for a few hours, leaving Bella and I alone.

Bella snuggled close beside me on the couch, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She sighed contentedly as she settled into place.

"It's been a big week," she murmured.

I nodded against her head. "But a good one."

I could feel her grin against my arm. "So you're not concerned that Henry's arrival overshadowed our wedding?"

I laughed. "Are you kidding? It means I will never have any problem remembering my nephew's birthday."

"Your nephew," Bella breathed. There was so much emotion in those two small words.

"What is it?" I asked, not sure that I understood why she seemed overwhelmed by my choice of words.

She shifted her body weight before climbing onto my lap. "It's just nice hearing you talk about Henry that way. I worried a little that you might never accept my family again after the hard time they gave you," she admitted.

"Our family," I murmured to ease her concern. I kissed her nose gently to punctuate my point.

"Our family." She grinned, sliding back onto the couch and settling comfortably back into my side.

We sat in silent awe for a few moments, allowing the enormity of the last few days to overtake us.

Bella turned to me. "Are you as curious as I am about the presents we got?"

I chuckled. "I thought you'd never ask."

We spent the next hour slowly opening each item. Although it wasn't nearly as much fun as I had hoped, instead it turned comical. Bella suddenly switched to methodical, bridezilla mode. I was under very strict instruction not to separate the presents from cards, because she needed to make a list to write the thank you notes.

I found a gift from Carlisle and Esme; an achingly familiar envelope. As I slid it open, my mind was immediately filled with the memory of opening a similar one in Carlisle's office while being reprimanded for my on and off track behaviour at Bathurst the previous year. That one had contained the tickets for the trip that had changed my life forever. I made a note to send Carlisle an extra thank you card; he had given me the best gift of all. It was through his interference that Bella and Phoebe were back in my life.

As I examined the contents of his present, I realised it was almost identical to the previous one. The only difference was that this time there were _three _business class tickets to London, leaving Sydney in late January.

"But I thought you didn't meet the requirements?" Bella asked quietly when she saw what I held in my hands.

I shook my head. "I didn't."

"Wow."

"You're not wrong," I murmured, turning the key to Carlisle's apartment over in my hand again. I didn't know why he had chosen to give me the London trip even though I'd failed to earn it, but I appreciated the gift nonetheless. I grinned unthinkingly as I imagined reliving some of the better parts of that trip.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked quietly, her voice low and husky, making me wonder if she was having similar thoughts.

"I was just remembering the huge stainless steel island in the kitchen." I grinned and met Bella's eyes.

She flushed slightly and looked away, gently biting her lip. "They had a great ice-maker," she murmured.

I was impossibly hard as images of Bella writhing beneath me while I tortured her with whiskey and ice sprung to my mind. I adjusted myself quickly, but my movement didn't escape Bella's keen eye. I slid the key and plane tickets back into the envelope and placed it on top of our little pile of treasures before standing and reaching for Bella's hand.

"What?" she asked.

"I think it's time for a break." My hard-on was straining desperately. I needed her.

"And what, _exactly_, did you have in mind for our break?" She asked as I pulled her to her feet and straight into my arms.

"Oh, I think a re-enactment is in order," I whispered against her cheek as I ran one hand along the front of her body.

She shivered lightly beneath my touch which I took as a sign that I was good to go. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her to my old bedroom, and then dropped her lightly onto the single bed. I quickly turned and ran into the kitchen, grabbed the ice-trays from the freezer and tipped the contents into a glass. I hunted around the pantry for some whiskey, but came up empty. All I could find was some Baileys, but in the end I decided that would have to do; Bella was ready and waiting for me. I poured the Baileys over the ice and then carried it to the bedroom.

I started to undress as I walked down the hall, shifting the glass from one hand to the other as I yanked my t-shirt off. After I entered the room, I kicked the door shut behind me. My heart began to pound, and I dropped my shirt in surprise when I took in the sight of Bella lying down, waiting for me.

She'd taken the time I was in the kitchen to undress down to her bra and panties. She was stretched out along the bed with her legs crossed at the ankles and her hands tucked up behind her head. It meant that I had a great view of…well of almost every part of her.

The cold glass in my hand was all but forgotten as my mouth went dry in anticipation of kissing her all over. I stepped forward to cross the room to get to her, but in my haste I tripped over the discarded t-shirt. I managed to right myself seconds before I toppled onto my ass, but my momentum carried me—more specifically, the hand holding the cup full of ice and Baileys—into the end of the bed. Before I could stop it, I was covered from neck to groin in the freezing cold mixture.

"Motherfucker!" I cried as my nipples puckered instantly, and my dick shrank away in shock.

I looked up at Bella, expecting her to be at least a little concerned. Instead it looked like she was struggling to hold in her laughter—struggling and failing. She was suddenly in a fit of hysterics.

"Are you 'right?" I asked snarkily.

She pressed her lips together and actually managed to stifle her laughter. "Sorry," she murmured as she scooted up the bed to get closer to me. "I shouldn't laugh." Her hands reached out for me, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to her. She pressed her mouth against my stomach, and I felt her wet tongue swirl gently against me.

"Mmm," she hummed. "Baileys?"

I tipped my head back and pushed my hips toward her. "Uh huh." I sighed as she continued her ministrations on my stomach.

She ran her tongue from the waistband of my shorts to my belly-button in one smooth motion.

I moaned with desire as she licked the cool liquid off my body.

She hummed again as her hands came to rest on my waist. She pulled me closer to her, holding me tightly as her mouth moved around my stomach and up to my chest.

I put my arms around her, and my hand tangled into her hair. I pulled her gently upward as I dipped down, desperate to taste the Baileys on her tongue. I held her body closely against mine, and she gasped a little as the liquid soaked into her bra and coated her skin. I pulled back from the kiss and grinned evilly. "Now you're covered too."

She gaped at me. "You did that deliberately."

"Not initially, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up." I shrugged.

"Ooh, you know that means war, don't you?"

I laughed. "Bring it."

She leapt up from the bed, practically jumping onto me.

I caught her easily and she wrapped her legs around me. I held onto her with one arm, using the other to tickle her.

She squirmed against my arms, fighting me roughly to the point where I worried I might drop her.

I wrapped my arms around her tightly and kissed her, distracting her long enough to move back over to the bed. I lowered her most of the way to the mattress, but let her fall the final distance—wanting to see more of that mock-anger burning in her eyes. As soon as I let her go, gaining the desired reaction, I climbed on my hands and knees to hover over her.

She looked up at me indignantly for a second. "That's it, buster," she threatened teasingly. She tried to tickle me, but I twisted away from her and got her first. We wrestled like that for a few more moments until we were both panting from exertion and sticky from the drying Baileys. Suddenly, our eyes met and we had one of those perfect moments. We both smiled at each other before I brushed the hair away from her face and lowered myself over her. Our lips brushed over each other's gently at first, soft and tender, before building to a crescendo.

Then everything but each other was forgotten and all remaining clothes were shed. We began to move together as only we could. I was intent to lose myself in her, and held her eyes captive to declare it.

~ 0 ~

After our 'afternoon delight', Bella and I showered and then started dinner. The rest of the evening flew by as we showed Mum and Phoebe some of the gifts we'd received, including the trip to London.

As soon as we read Phoebe a story and tucked her into bed, we headed to bed ourselves. I would have felt guilty that we weren't spending much time with Mum, but she'd announced that she was going to the movies and would be home late. I knew she was just giving us our space, but I didn't like thinking about her imaging what I was doing to Bella.

"Rosalie goes home tomorrow," Bella murmured as we lay in each other's arms drifting toward sleep.

I hummed, knowing that she wanted to say more.

"Maybe we can take Phoebe over there to meet Henry?"

"That sounds like a good idea," I agreed.

"He really is a cute little baby, isn't he?"

I shrugged. I had no basis for comparison. He was the first baby I'd ever really seen up close. He was just tiny and pink, not to mention just a little bit wrinkly.

"You don't think so?" she asked. I felt her head turning to appraise me.

"I honestly don't know. I've never been around a baby before."

I felt her head rest against me while she turned thoughtful. "I forget sometimes."

"Forget what?"

She sighed. "That you missed out on all those early experiences."

I was silent. I knew her well enough to know her tone wasn't accusatory—she wasn't blaming me for not being there—merely stating the fact. I resisted the urge to apologise again. I knew there had to come a time when we were able to move past it and talk about it without apologies and pain. It was a fact; an inescapable and horribly shitty fact.

"They're hard work," she said after a few minutes.

"What are?"

"Babies. They're a lot of hard work."

"I don't doubt it," I stated.

"They are worth it though."

I thought of Phoebe. Even though she was no longer a baby, she was proof that it was worth the hard work. "I don't doubt it."

We fell back into silence again.

"And you'd want more kids?" she murmured thoughtfully after another couple more minutes had passed. "Even with the hard work?"

I thought before answering. I knew her stance on the issue, and I didn't want to upset her. "I would love to have another child _with you_. But you don't want more kids, right? And I can live with that."

"Right," she whispered before snuggling back against my chest.

~ 0 ~

Bella called Emmett early to arrange our visit. Rosalie was expected to leave the hospital around lunchtime, so we organised a dinner-date with them. We explained to Phoebe that we would go see her little cousin Henry at Uncle Em and Aunt Rosie's later that evening. We then spent the day with her, taking her around to all her old favourite places. To ensure she knew she had to be gentle around Henry, we explained how delicate babies were.

Despite our misgivings that she might inadvertently hurt him, Phoebe was amazing with her little cousin. She was enthralled by him, making us promise that she could come and play with little Henry when he got bigger. Rosalie even set her up on a chair with some cushions and supervised her while Phoebe cradled the baby.

Phoebe was in heaven, and again I felt my stomach drop with the sensation of knowing she'd never have a little brother or sister to hold. I would happily support Bella's decision, but I still felt a pang of loss at times. Bella must have seen the look in my eyes, because she nestled into me before guiding my arm around her waist.

~ 0 ~

Each night as we headed to bed, Bella seemed thoughtful about something, but each night our lust took over, and we barely spent any time talking. The few times I tried to raise the issue of her distraction, she'd told me it was nothing, and I let it drop because I didn't want to push it.

By the time we got back to Sydney, we had both spent plenty of time with family. We'd even been able to spend a little time with Ben and Angela.

We soon got back into the usual grind, only now it was different. Rather than being Edward Masen and Bella and Phoebe Swan, we were the Masens. It probably meant little to a casual observer, but it meant the world to me.

When I went back to work, I was quickly whisked off for a series of physicals and other tests required by the contract I had signed to be back in a V8. I still wasn't sure how Carlisle was going to arrange it when Jasper was out for the rest of the season, but if my dream was still going to be realised I wasn't going to complain. Track days were booked for the end of August to give me the opportunity to test my reflexes back behind the beast before tackling the L&H 500 at Philip Island.

Unfortunately though, my wish to see the track from the inside of a V8 hit a snag a few days after getting back to work.

"Do we have a problem?" Carlisle asked, his voice cautious.

"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely uncertain what could be concerning him. Besides the two incidents in Townsville, my behaviour had been exemplary.

"These turned up on my desk this morning." He tossed an envelope across the table at me.

I pulled open the envelope, tilting it and watched as a half-dozen photographs spilled out. I leafed through them quickly, but immediately realised what they were when I saw a girl pawing at me. Memories of my horrid birthday weekend came flooding to my mind. "This isn't—"

"Isn't what it looks like?" he asked, with one eyebrow raised.

"No! It's not," I whispered emphatically.

"What, pray tell, do you think it looks like?"

"Well, first off that I was actually enjoying myself." I screwed my nose up.

Carlisle chuckled once. "See, what I think it looks like is that you found yourself in a situation you weren't comfortable in. Maybe even a situation someone else put you into."

I looked up at Carlisle in shock. _Was he actually taking my side on something? _I felt myself nodding slowly.

"The oddest thing about these photos is the timing of their arrival," he mused.

_When did they arrive? _The question was on my lips, but died in my throat as Carlisle shook his head ever-so-slightly. I got the impression something bigger was happening, something I didn't understand. I knew who had sent the photos—there was no doubt in my mind it was James. I debated telling Carlisle so, but realised it wouldn't be any benefit. Carlisle obviously wasn't concerned about the photos—what _was_ his concern?

"I have to be honest with you, Edward," he said suddenly, breaking my train of thought by grabbing the photos back and pushing them into his desk drawer. "When I found out about the new rule regarding the endurance racers, you were the first person to spring to mind. I thought it would be a good way to be able to keep your skills up, without risking the loss of any major sponsors.

"Unfortunately though, circumstances have changed since then. There are situations at play now which limit my options."

"Okay…" I couldn't figure out exactly what he was trying to tell me. I wished he would just come out and tell me what he was thinking, but obviously there was some reason he wouldn't, or couldn't.

"Ideally, I would have run you in Jasper's car. You two have very similar racing styles and complement each other well. You've shown that in many enduros past."

I nodded, agreeing completely with him. Jasper and I had a way of communicating which, short of my disastrous showing the previous year, had seen us be very successful.

"Unfortunately, Jasper has been ruled out for the rest of the year."

I had seen Jasper just a few days earlier, he was healing well and with physio was expected to be back for the following year's race calendar, but the team doctor was taking his lead from the physiotherapist who was unwilling to sign a release before Phillip Island. Jasper was desperate to be back, but until he had that clearance, he couldn't race.

"This means I only have one car running in the endurance races." He paused for a moment, seeming to weigh his words heavily before speaking. "I spoke with James yesterday about the potential for you to co-drive with him at Philip Island."

I scoffed. "That would have gone down well."

His eyes fell to his desk drawer for less than a fraction of a second.

I trailed the same path before turning back to him. I could have sworn he nodded slightly.

"How would _you_ feel about that situation?" he asked after a moment's pause.

"Driving with James?" I clarified. "You're kidding, right?"

"I can't see any other options, I'm afraid," he almost sounded apologetic.

"But with James? He hates me, and believe me, the feeling is more than mutual."

"I just don't know what other option I have." He sighed.

I could think of one. It was bold. It was _stupid_. It would be hard, but I thought I might be just lucky—and crazy—enough to pull it off. I grinned wickedly before outlining my idea to Carlisle. I considered myself lucky when he actually looked thoughtful and didn't refuse me outright.

Life is all about the small victories.

~ 0 ~


	25. Just Managing

**Chapter 25: Just Managing**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

It hadn't taken long for the enormity of what I had asked from Carlisle to hit me. We'd had another meeting just as everyone else was leaving to discuss it further. I had expected him to rubbish my plan, but not once did he tell me not to do it. Of course, he hadn't offered me his outright support either, but I wasn't exactly expecting it, because I was effectively talking about staging a coup.

Instead, what he had offered me was a glimmer of hope. He'd told me all the negatives of my plan, but in doing so he'd outlined, in detail, everything that I needed to do in order to pull it off.

Almost as soon as the meeting started, under the pretence of him explaining why it couldn't work, I could see what he was doing; he was giving me a plan of attack.

Once I had realised where he was going with it all, I pushed aside the part of me that wanted to tell him to shove it up his ass. I bit my tongue and grabbed a pen and notepad from his desk. While I quickly scribbled notes about all of the work that would be involved to pull it off, he waited patiently and then filtered more information my way. I wanted desperately to ask him a few questions and demand some straight answers, but I knew I wouldn't get any—at least not yet. I was going to have to try to read between the lines of what he had told me.

My first port of call, after getting Carlisle's implicit approval, was to see Bella. I hoped she would be able to help me somewhat. At the very least, I would rely heavily on her support to get through the difficult times ahead of me. Although, I realised she wouldn't be able to help out too much with the actual legal side of it—like drawing up the contract that I would need.

Carlisle had explained it all to me in our meeting. Apparently, because she worked for Pembletons, the firm that would represent him in the negotiations, she had a 'conflict of interest' and wouldn't be able to help me. I didn't really completely understand what he was talking about, but I hoped that Bella would be able to at least point me in the right direction and straighten out some of the confusion I felt over the whole thing.

My mind was in overdrive the whole way home, running through my meeting with Carlisle and the rest of my day again and again. I kept coming back to the photos. Looking back on it now, I couldn't believe that I hadn't even thought to tell Bella about the incident. I hadn't withheld the information deliberately; it had been nothing more than an oversight. The entire weekend of my birthday had been such a shit-fest that the girl James had all but thrown onto my lap had ended up as nothing more than a blip on my radar. I knew I had to fess up to Bella now though, just in case James pushed the envelope even further. One thing was absolutely certain; the photos that had arrived on Carlisle's desk had come from James. I knew it, and thankfully Carlisle seemed to know it too.

Obviously James didn't want me in his car for the upcoming enduros, which I understood completely because I didn't want to race with him either, and would do anything to avoid the possibility. I wasn't at all surprised he would stoop so low, and I chuckled at the thought of how stupid James had been, showing his hand so early. He'd also clearly demonstrated the key difference between us; if it was honestly in the best interest of the team—and if it was my chance to get back in a V8 more permanently—I would've sucked that shit up and raced with him. I would've even tried to win, despite the fact that would mean he would end up on the podium too.

Despite spending the journey home with my head spinning in circles, I was so psyched by the events of my plan that I was practically leaping out of my skin by the time I arrived home. I raced in the front door, intercepting Phoebe as she ran to greet me. I picked her up and spun her around until she squealed excitedly. I grinned at her.

"Daddy's got some good news!" I exclaimed, kissing her on the top of the head before I placed her back on the floor.

"What is it?" she asked. Her eyes were wide and full of excitement.

"I'll tell you as soon as we find Mummy."

Phoebe grinned and raced off, leaving me to follow her. I found both of my girls in the kitchen. Bella was just pulling out the start of dinner. She welcomed me with a quick kiss and asked me to help her by finding a few items. I complied immediately, placing them on the bench before turning to Bella and loosely grabbing her hands, bringing them to rest on my chest. My index finger toyed with her wedding band absently as I smirked at her. I couldn't wait to tell her my news, and I knew the perfect way to do it. Phoebe was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"What is it?" Bella asked in response to both my stance and Phoebe's anticipation.

"I'm going to race a V8 again." I grinned.

Phoebe started squealing. She was so loud that I barely heard Bella's next statement.

"Even with Jasper…" Bella trailed off.

I knew she'd never be able to finish the sentence. Since our return to Sydney, things had become much warmer between the two of them. She felt that she owed him for the thing with James, especially when it had cost him so much. No matter how much Alice, Jasper and I tried to convince her otherwise, she'd blamed herself for the accident that cost Jasper the championship and a good portion of the race year.

I nodded excitedly. "Yeah."

"But how?" she asked, looking at me warily. "Not in _his_ car?"

She hated the thought of me racing with James even more than I hated the idea. At least I was willing to consider it if I absolutely had to; which I didn't anymore.

I grinned even wider as I shook my head. "Nope."

"Then _how_?"

"I'm going to be a privateer."

"Huh?"

"I'm going to run my own car."

Bella stood blinking at me for a few moments. "But you don't have a car."

"I can rent one for the weekend."

Bella stood agape for a moment more before asking, "How much is that going to cost?"

"A lot," I admitted. "But I have a plan."

"Oh you have a plan do you?" Despite the scepticism in her voice, I could see excitement dancing just behind the incredulity in her eyes. I had been certain of her support, but the glimmer of enthusiasm I saw in her fuelled my own exhilaration to dizzying new heights.

I stepped forward and whispered into her neck. "Yes, and it involves spending some quality time with each other after Phoebe's in bed tonight."

She chuckled. "You know I'm almost always up for some quality time, but I don't see how _that _will help you get back in a car."

"Ha ha." I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to my other girl, the one who wouldn't mock me. "Are you excited that Daddy's going to be back in a V8 again, baby?"

Phoebe nodded enthusiastically. "Can I go in one too?"

I turned to see that Bella wasn't looking or listening.

I winked at her. "We'll see what we can do."

~ 0 ~

"That's a big to do list," Bella breathed as I finished my explanation.

"I know. I've got no idea how I'm going to manage it all. I just know I won't be able to get it done before Phillip Island. I'm aiming for…"

"Bathurst," Bella finished for me.

I grinned. I shouldn't have been surprised that Bella knew the race calendar so well, especially when it came to _that_ race; the anniversary of the crash that inadvertently led me back to her. I could only imagine the significance of the date in her mind.

"The hardest thing is going to be finding the time to make the calls I need to make," I admitted. "Although in theory Carlisle is giving me his support, he can't be seen as assisting me. I definitely can't do it at work."

Bella bit her lip. "I may be able to help you out there."

I raised my eyebrow at her. Ever since we'd returned from our holiday, Bella had been having issues at work. Truthfully, I think she'd been having issues long before then, but hadn't wanted to admit it.

"And just how would you do that?" I asked.

"I need to take some time off work," she started. Her voice was calm and in control. "I…" She sighed heavily and something snapped within her. "I just…I can't do it," she sobbed. "I can't be there. I can't stand the guilt they give me every day when I have to leave to pick up Phoebe. It's not fair. I've never been made to feel so _worthless_."

I gathered her up into my arms instantly. "Shh, Bella," I murmured, trying to quell her sobs. I realised she had been holding back so much more than I'd ever imagined. "Tell me about it."

She nuzzled deeper into me. "It's Carmen, she and her _Daddy_ have been out for me since we were paired up. If she wasn't just so incompetent, I'd swear she was trying to make me look bad. Sometimes I think Mister Garrett is the only one on my side."

"Garrett!" I exclaimed, slapping myself on the forehead for my stupidity.

Bella pulled away and gave me a funny look.

"Andrew Garrett's son is Marcus."

Bella looked at me vaguely.

"_Marcus Garrett_," I said, wondering what she didn't understand. "Former V8 driver."

"So?" She sniffed, her tears completely dried up after the sudden shift in the conversation.

"He retired just before I started driving. He was the driver I replaced."

"And?"

I grinned. "Don't you see? He's retired, but he's still in shape." I paused for a moment, but I realised she wasn't going to see the connection I'd quickly seen in my mind. "He could be the second driver in my car."

A smile lit Bella's features. It was stunning to watch as her joy started in her eyes and spread rapidly outward across her face. "Of course," she murmured. "Do you think he would though?"

"I have no idea!" I stood and chuckled a little, feeling a bit like a mad man, but I was too excited about the new plan to care. My sudden realisation made so many things fall into place. It was perfect. "But just think about it if he did. Two ex-Cullen Racing drivers in the one car."

"The press would have a field day." She grinned.

"Exactly! Imagine the publicity."

"The sponsors!"

"Fuck, baby," I murmured. Seeing her so excited about me getting back in the car was doing…things to me. I swooped back onto the bed, pushing her onto her back as I did. I captured her mouth with mine and kissed her hard. "You and me, we're going to make this work."

Her response was a moan as my erection rubbed against her thigh.

~ 0 ~

In the harsh light of morning, the list seemed so much bigger than it had the day before. I knew I had a task and a half ahead of me, _and_ I still had to front up at Cullen Racing every day.

I still had my job in the pits to train for, even though I had officially been moved from James' pit crew because of our "differences". My boys had all requested the same change so there was a shake-up of the teams, but that didn't mean we weren't required to be at the top of our game. The official word on Jasper was that we were waiting on clearance, but everyone on the team knew the truth; he was definitely out for the season.

While Bella negotiated with Phoebe to get her to eat her Weet-Bix, and I packed up everyone's lunch, I suggested to Bella that maybe it was time to move on rather than just take time off. I hated the thought of her being unhappy at work. I questioned whether she should hand in her notice and find something else. She looked at me like I'd grown an extra head.

"All I'm saying is that you don't need that stinking job if they can't treat you with respect."

She smiled sadly at me. "But we still have a mortgage to pay, and we still have Phoebe's daycare costs."

I crossed my arms. "I don't care."

"But—"

I held up my hand to silence her. "We'll manage."

I knew I was quoting the very words she'd used to comfort me after she'd moved to Sydney what felt like a lifetime ago, but they were as true now as they had been then. As long as the three of us had each other, we had everything we would need.

She opened her mouth to argue.

"Daddy, can I have apples for school?" Phoebe asked, with her mouth full of mushed Weet-Bix.

"Of course, sweetie," I answered quickly, turning to throw one into her lunch pack. I turned back to Bella before she could resume her argument. "You have to admit that the bonuses I've gotten from racing the Mini have helped us get in front. Besides, I'm not pissing away my salary like I used to."

She looked thoughtful for a second.

"And," I continued while I was on my winning streak, "I've still got my cars and a few stocks left that we can sell if we get desperate." I winced as I mentioned selling my babies, which so far we'd managed to avoid losing, but I would willingly sacrifice anything for her happiness.

"And what would I do? Any other law firm would be just bad. It's the nature of the career."

I shrugged. "Don't work for a law firm then."

"I'm not going to go back to working in a shop."

"I'm not asking you to." I already had an idea forming in my head, but I wasn't sure exactly how she would respond to it.

She sighed. "I worked so hard to get to where I am, I don't want to throw it all away now."

"Then don't." I smirked.

"What are you thinking?"

A splooshing sound told us that Phoebe had taken advantage of our distraction to pour herself a glass of milk, unfortunately it went all over the floor instead of into the cup.

"Here, let me get that," Bella said, grabbing the paper towels from the bench. She poured some of the remaining milk into the cup and began to soak up the mess.

"I have an idea," I said.

Bella shook her head slightly. "And that would be?"

"Work for me."

"What?"

"I've never had a manager. Now that I'm on the cusp of my new career, I really think I should have one."

"I wouldn't have the first clue about how to be a manager."

"I'm sure it's not hard."

She laughed. "Tell that to all the stressed managers out there."

"What I mean is, I know you'll have my best interests at heart; so you just need to do whatever needs to be done to further my career."

"Like what?"

"Like talking with the sponsors."

She looked thoughtful for a moment until the piece of paper towel in her hands grew wet and attracted her attention anew.

"Besides, managers get a cut of their talent's salary."

She laughed. "And in that scenario you'd be the talent?"

"Of course!"

She stood up and met my eye. "You really think I could do it?"

"Why not?" I asked. "You've got the law degree behind you, so I know you'll be able to read the contracts for me. You're a naturally warm and giving person, and I'm sure the sponsors will respond to that."

"And the fact that it would mean you're able to palm a significant chunk of your to-do-list onto me?" She raised her eyebrow.

I chuckled. "Well, that's just an added bonus."

She looked thoughtful. "I don't know, Edward."

"Give me one reason why not?"

She bit her lip. "I just don't know if I want everything in my whole life to revolve around your career."

I tried to cover how much her words stung, but I couldn't.

She reached out and stroked my face lovingly, reassuring me silently. "What I mean, is that I'm so deliriously happy with the way we are at the moment that I wouldn't want to ruin it."

"It won't ruin anything," I argued. "If anything, it will make it better, because you'll be less stressed."

She regarded me thoughtfully. "What if…something _happened_ to you?" She looked at Phoebe, indicating she didn't want to say anything that would worry her, but I realised she was talking about something…as in an accident.

I thought about it for a minute. If Bella fashioned her career around mine, and then I couldn't drive… The fact that we'd be down from two incomes to none would devastate our finances, but I was certain we'd manage, somehow.

"Well, maybe you can use me as a test case?" I suggested. "If it works and you like it, then you can try to get other drivers onboard, maybe?"

"I'll think about it."

I smiled. "That's all I can ask. But it would be helpful if you could do it, I mean God knows I don't exactly read the contracts I'm given. I'd hate to be having to deal with something as important as sponsorship dollars. Especially with the risks I'm facing anyway."

She shook her head with a small, knowing smile on her face. I could tell she was at least partially swayed by my argument. The more I thought about it, the more perfect a solution it seemed, and the more excited I was by it.

~ 0 ~


	26. Racing Line

**Chapter 26: Racing line**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely beta CorrinaTFF & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF._

~ 0 ~

A week.

That was all it took for everything to be different.

The first day that I'd planted the seed that maybe she didn't need to work anymore, Bella had a deep and meaningful conversation with Andrew Garrett and had managed to score his son's phone number, among other things. She couldn't really explain everything that they'd discussed, but apparently, Carlisle had called Pembletons as soon as I'd had my idea. The two men had already discussed the possibility that I would whisk Bella away to help me, at least temporarily. Andrew Garrett's only suggested alteration to the plan was that Bella take an unpaid leave of absence instead of quitting, stating that her job would be there when she was ready to have it back.

The following day, Bella handed in her formal intention for a six-month leave of absence, effective immediately. Not all of the partners were happy, but Bella had Andrew Garrett's support so she didn't care what the other partners thought.

On the third day, we set up communication central in our home study. We had a fax machine, a two-line phone, a mobile, two laptops, and a desktop computer. We paid for the telephone company to come and install the extra lines we required, even paying extra for them to put us as a priority on the list.

By the fourth day, I had a confirmed co-driver. Even though I had yet to raise the sponsorship money which I would need in order to hire the car from Carlisle. As expected though, the media went crazy when we announced that Marcus Garrett was heading out of retirement to race alongside me.

By the end of the working week, Bella had used the contacts that Carlisle had given me to generate significant sponsorship money. It was more than enough to cover the cost of the car, the signage, the entrant's fee, our accommodation, and the insurance. I couldn't have asked for more. Bella had pulled together a minor miracle in much less time than I could have ever imagined, so it wasn't a great surprise to me when she had three clients within the first week; true, one was a driver on hiatus for injury, one a driver who had retired almost three years earlier and then there was me. But nonetheless for a manager-stroke-publicist just starting out in the game, it was a coup.

Bella used the perseverance and grit that I knew she possessed in spades to find opportunities to promote me that would help to keep the sponsors satisfied. She contacted New Weekly, the magazine who had interviewed us months ago, and arranged for them to do an interview with Garrett and me. The same photographer, Bree, arrived on our practise track day and took photos of us in our suits as well as in more casual clothing. We had a "time for prints" agreement with her, so we got to keep the photos for use in our promotions.

It was all going so well. In fact, the only problem with the new arrangement was that I barely saw Bella. During the day, she worked her ass off on the phone arranging this-that-or-the-other, and then at night she would pour over the contracts that came in, reading and re-reading any clauses that had the potential to cause us trouble. I honestly couldn't imagine anyone taking better care of me or my career.

"You know, you really shouldn't have signed the first contract thrown at you with Cullen Racing," she murmured one night over the top of the paperwork she had brought into bed.

"Why's that?" I asked, kissing her shoulder, trying to get her to focus her attention on other things; namely _me_.

"It really was a stock standard contract that gave them all the power. I've seen some of the negotiated agreements, and there were _a lot_ of clauses they would have been willing to move on."

What she'd said stayed with me as I headed into work the next morning. I wondered whether that was what bound Carlisle's hands when it came to James, and why he was so seemingly willing to lend his support to my _alternative_ venture. I realised I would probably never know for sure. One thing I did know, was that Carlisle would never tell me.

~ 0 ~

The countdown for Bathurst was on. During the weeks leading up to it, both Garrett and I had interviews with morning TV shows, radio, local papers…pretty much anyone that would have us. I couldn't help thinking the words 'media slut' was a more than adequate description of us during that time.

There was however one magazine that was champing at the bit to get either, or both, of us, that Bella simply refused outright. After all, they'd already made their money off me, through their 'star writer' Miss V and her trashy, rumour-filled stories. That didn't stop them from running the story about my comeback though. Instead, they had to use second hand information and of course they tried to tar and feather me, but without printing long-dead issues, they had nothing.

It was a crazy time for everyone. I was working on my privateer career in the evenings while still holding down my day job. I was still able to race at Phillip Island, albeit in the Mini. Because I didn't have to pit for James anymore, it was set to be a fairly easy weekend. I just worried about Bella's safety. I wanted to ban her and Phoebe from attending, but she took the need out of my hands by apologising and telling me she would be too busy to attend, what with Bathurst a little under a month away. Her announcement left me free to concentrate on nothing but my driving. Well, nothing but my driving and avoiding James like the plague.

I finished the weekend at Philip Island first in the Mini challenge championship, because I had managed to claim pole, and then placing first, second and first in the races. It should have been cause for celebration, but there was no time, because the big race was creeping closer and closer.

Somehow there seemed to be more things left to organise each day and nothing ever seemed to get marked off as complete. There were items on the list I'd compiled from Carlisle's advice that took much longer to arrange. Customised race-suits and HANS devices were one item which we had to order as early as possible because we needed to ensure they had the sponsor's logos on them, but couldn't order too early or we risked missing a sponsor.

I was responsible for the design of the car and the sticker placement. Of course, Bella helped me a lot with that because she knew the sponsor contracts inside and out. She knew who had been granted major sponsorship and any mandatory placements. It cost a small fortune to have concept designs drawn up of the final car, but it was worth the money because it meant we could get the required sign-offs before spending the money on the vinyl stickers and finding some problem after the car was finished.

Amongst everything else, I needed to arrange the team who would support me when I went racing. For myself. It was going to be so strange. Sure I would be using a Cullen Racing car, and I was racing on their team licence, but I had to pay for that right, a pretty penny in fact. Well, a pretty penny and fuck-load of ugly ones too. For all intents and purposes though, it was my car and my team.

On top of the promotion and sponsors, there was the simple logistics of the weekend. We had to get the car to the racetrack, we had to get us into town, and we had to arrange accommodation. I had a new-found appreciation for all of the office staff at Cullen Racing; they made it all look so easy. We'd already decided that Bella was going to be with me, but because she was going to be there in her 'official capacity', Mum was going to be on hand to look after Phoebe for us.

Jasper had volunteered to oversee the car on race day, managing the pit crew and race strategy. Thankfully, he'd learnt a lot hanging around with Alice over the years. My boys had been given the weekend off from Cullen Racing without even having to ask for it, and they'd already agreed to pit for me. I had to pay them of course, and I had to get Carlisle to sign off to allow them to work for me, but it meant I had a crew who I trusted to the ends of the earth pitting for me.

The hardest thing to deal with was the doubt in the public mind. I'd heard the rumours circulating ever since the announcement had been made, but each day they seemed to get louder and more persistent.

Two weeks out from Bathurst I was discussed in depth on the V8 extra show. In a debate featuring current and past drivers they argued about whether or not I was washed up. They questioned whether I would still be able to handle a V8, especially with no real practise other than my Mini races and two track days that I'd shared with Cullen Racing. I'd been asked the same question by almost everyone who had interviewed me; with such a hex on my career right before my forced retirement, did I feel the pressure to perform? My answer was always the same; yes and no.

I felt the pressure to be successful in the form of putting my nuts on the line with the sponsors. I hadn't started a race for almost twelve months, but I hadn't successfully finished a race in the six months prior to my final crash.

I knew that my future in a V8 rested on this race. If I got through the weekend unscathed and managed to finish in a decent position, it would give me the perfect opportunity to renegotiate my position with Cullen Racing.

Then there was the pressure of the knowledge that every bump, scratch, and dent on the car would come out of my pocket. It was the reason we'd ensured we had contingencies in place, but still….if the car was a write off, we'd lose everything. That realisation made me appreciate Bella's agreement to my wacky plan that much more. I was risking everything we owned, everything we were, on one race, and Bella stood behind me 100%.

But despite all of the pressure that I faced, I was actually relatively calm about the upcoming race. There were two reasons for my calm; Bella and Phoebe. I knew that no matter what happened on race day, even if I crashed out as spectacularly as I had the last time I drove around Bathurst, they would be there for me. That meant more than I could imagine.

~ 0 ~

In addition to working and getting everything ready for the big event, I also had to plan for the race itself. It had been such a long time since I'd properly raced a V8, and my return debut would be in a 1000 kilometre race. I spent as much time as I was able to preparing myself as best as I could for the long race.

Part of my preparations included endurance training. I would wake extra early and creep into the gym at home and spend hours thumping away on the treadmill or the cross-trainer. During those long stretches, I had nothing to occupy my thoughts, so I often found myself recalling the way my life had been just twelve short months ago. I tried to envisage what my life would be like if we hadn't met on that plane on the way to London. Would I still be in the dark over my son and daughter? Would I still have my head up my own ass? Would I still be sleeping with random women in a vain attempt to find something that I now realised I would only ever have with Bella? One touch from her satisfied me more than a hundred random fucks. The truth was though, that I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. I hadn't realised how dead I'd been inside until she bought me back to life.

More often than not, the end result of my mornings spent in the gym, and inside my own head, was racing back up to the bedroom and climbing into bed with Bella to do our own special stamina training.

It was after one of these 'training' sessions that Bella turned to me, biting her lip anxiously. She'd been scratching her fingers absent-mindedly across my scalp, but she stilled her hand as she spoke. "I was thinking…"

"Yes," I said, urging her to continue, the scratching at least because it had felt fan-fucking-tastic.

"Well, it's just…" She paused again and looked into my eyes, as if trying to assess how I would take whatever she had to say. I tensed a little in preparation, not knowing what it was, but knowing it was obviously important. "I've seen the way you are facing this race and everything. You should be scared, hell you should be terrified, but you're not. You're cool and calm and just doing what needs to be done."

"Babe, you know there is a hell of a lot going on down below the surface that no-one else gets to see."

She nodded. "Yeah I know, but still you are still willing to face something terrifying in the hope that something good will come out of it."

"I couldn't do it without you by my side."

She smiled sweetly. "I know. It's just that it's made me realise that maybe I need to face some of my own fears in the hope that something good comes of it."

I frowned, utterly thrown by what it was that could be so terrifying for her that would bring something positive.

"I was thinking that maybe…" she paused again and took a deep breath. "Maybe I should book an appointment to have the Merina removed? Maybe we should…_try_?"

"Try?" I asked stupidly before the impact of her words hit me. I knew much more about the Merina now than I had when we were in London, I knew the basics of what it was and what it did , and she…she wanted to remove it…which would mean…it would mean… "You want to try for another baby?" I asked almost incredulously as the words sunk in.

She nodded slightly, her eyes showing her raging terror over the idea even as she agreed to it.

"You'd do that for me?" I asked stupidly.

She shook her head. "No, I'd do it for _us_; for all of us. For our family."

I couldn't help the wide, shit-eating grin that spread across my face from ear to ear. I was surprised at the intensity of the warmth that spread throughout my body at her words. She wanted to try for another baby. She trusted me to be there for her. Even though she was scared of what could go wrong, she would do it. For us. I realised how momentous the decision was for her, and I was determined not to fuck it up.

"That would be…wow…that would be fucking awesome. Are you sure about this though?"

"Are you?" she asked, throwing my question back at me, and I saw the faintest hint of doubt in her eyes. I realised that her primary fear may have been about what could go wrong, but there was a part of her that was scared of having to face it alone again. I was the cause of that fear, and it was my responsibility to erase it.

"Absolutely positive. But maybe we should wait until after the race so we have plenty of time to practise." I winked at her. "And then we'll talk about it some more."

~ 0 ~

Before I knew it, it was time. All of our preparation and all of the stress came down to one event, one weekend, and ultimately to one race.

We travelled to Bathurst on Tuesday, arriving a little after lunch, and set-up amongst the other teams. We didn't stand out or draw any excess attention, which was good because it made us feel like we belonged. It felt a little strange arriving so early for a meet, but all the things that Carlisle and the other office staff had always arranged for me at Cullen Racing, I now had to do for myself; like having the car scrutineered before the race-meet, having the documents checked and arranging for Jasper to attend the team managers' briefing.

The other thing I had arranged, without Bella's knowledge, was that she was never to be left alone. If I wasn't with her, she would be with Mum or Jasper. My boys were keeping an extra eye out for her and Phoebe when they could and even Alice, despite being in the Cullen Racing shed, had also agreed to watch out for Bella. I felt safe in the knowledge that James wouldn't be able to get within one hundred metres of my girls without my knowledge which made me feel better about the weekend.

~ 0 ~

I spent all morning Thursday going over the finer details of the car. It had come to us in pristine condition from Cullen Racing, but we needed to ensure it was prepped and ready for dealing with the pressure of Bathurst. My boys and I ran through the majority of the checks on the car and we even managed to drag Liam down from the Cullen Racing sheds to cast his eye over it. We used the excuse that it had to be good for a few extra hours of time against my apprenticeship. He laughed at our cheek, but agreed nonetheless.

Garrett and I had already agreed that I would take the first practise session. Not that I needed it any more than him, heck we were both as rusty as the other, but because I was the one who'd had this grand plan I was the one to take the V8 out for her first run.

It took me a moment or two to get used to the car. I noticed a few things in my first lap. For example, I had to brake much earlier than I did in the Mini—I realised that very quickly when I took my first corner much too fast and almost ended the weekend long before it had even started. I could accelerate out of the corners faster which came in handy, although it meant I had to be in the correct racing position that much earlier.

After a lap or two though, I'd found my groove. My fingers danced across the steering wheel almost as if they'd never been parted from it. My hand jerked through the gears with practised precision. Up. Down. Clutch. Accelerator. Brake. It was a familiar dance with a favourite dance partner.

Hard to the left, reign in the car with the brakes and then accelerate hard up Mountain Straight. Hard to the right, roar through the cutting and Reid Park before racing past McPhillamy and into Skyline.

Despite the year that had passed since my last time around this track at this speed, I'd not forgotten the view as I neared the top of the mountain. I took one quick look to calm me, and then I focused back on the car and feeling the way it responded to my touch as I fell through the S bends and into the dipper. I barely braked for the soft right then jumped down on them before the hard left around Forrest Elbow. I hit the accelerator hard the moment I was free, and I was zooming down Conrod Straight in next to no time.

I couldn't force the smile off of my face the whole way around the track. Jasper's voice squarked over my radio regularly, letting me know how the car looked.

As we got further into the session, I couldn't help having a little fun and ribbing him in reply, telling him that his fiancée's voice was much sweeter in my ears.

When I came in there was a fifteen minute window for me to brief Marcus Garrett about the car, and then I was sitting on the edge of the track watching him drive my money—my family's future—around the track. I finally knew how Carlisle felt every time I had taken to the track, especially in that last six months.

I probably owed him another apology.

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Hope everyone is well. I have just returned from a little RL break 'cause my sis was visiting from O/S. I'm back now and I hope to settle back into a regular routine again very soon. **


	27. Qualified

**Chapter 27: Qualified**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely beta CorrinaTFF & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

"We're getting great times," Jasper enthused, reading the in-car telemetry reports together with the official lap times.

"And without getting a single scratch on the car," Bella said, winking at me.

I grinned.

"Great job today, everyone!" Garrett enthused.

I couldn't help but grin at him too. I considered myself to be lucky to have scored him in my car, despite his being retired.

Garrett had retired on his terms—while he was in front. He definitely wasn't past his prime. In fact, some of the current drivers had at least ten years on him. Not to mention he was pumping out lap times that easily matched my own, and were pretty darn close to being on par with the forerunners in the race.

"Speaking of which," Bella murmured, before continuing much louder, "Whatever result we get in qualifying tomorrow, we're having a team dinner to celebrate! Our shout, of course, to say thank you to all of you for the hard work you have put in to get us here."

A little while later, we'd broken up for the night, each heading off to do our own thing, ready to reconvene early Friday morning. Bella instructed me that because there was nothing more I could do to organise or plan anymore, I was not allowed to stress about anything. She and Mum had apparently been busy arranging dinner and they'd somehow managed to organise a roast in the shit-ass tiny little caravan oven. The women in my life never ceased to amaze me.

Mid-way through our meal, Jasper arrived to talk strategy.

"Sure, man," I laughed. "As if you didn't just smell this fuck-awesome meal and want to join in."

Bella slapped my arm lightly. "Language," she hissed quietly, shooting a pointed look at Phoebe.

I shot her a smirk in the form of an apology, and helped myself to another serve of potatoes. I told myself it was because I needed to carbo-load, but the truth was they were just that delicious that I couldn't get enough.

Bella had more manners than I did and invited Jasper to join us. I think he thought about it for all of two seconds before accepting. We ran through our race plan once more, based on the information given in the drivers' briefing, but then the conversation flowed naturally onto other things; like my plans for his buck's party.

Bella and Alice had already vetoed any plans for us to strip at Alice's hen's night. Instead, I was planning something special for Jasper, and he was going crazy not knowing what it was. I saw Bella giving me a knowing smile, because, well, she did know what it was.

Alice had already roped Bella into helping to organise the wedding because Bella was her closest female friend. I think that made her the matron of honour or some shit, but I tended to go into a bit of a trance when the girls started talking about wedding garbage. I'd been there, done that, and never had to go through it again.

After dinner, Alice came in search of Jasper so we invited her in to stay for a while too. The conversation was easy and the night held no stress. I wondered whether Bella had planned it that way, but I had no way of knowing for sure. All I know was that by the time Alice and Jasper had left and Phoebe was in bed, I'd had no time to panic about what might happen the next day, which was a good thing. I needed to stay out of my own head in order to stay sane.

Bella invited me to go for a walk in the evening air. Never one to miss an opportunity for some alone time with my wife, I agreed readily. We grabbed our jumpers and headed out into the dark.

I wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders as we wandered aimlessly around the campsite. A number of people recognised me, some shouted out in support, others gave a call of gentle ribbing—clearly they were Ford fans—and a few even came up to ask for my autograph.

"I wanna be able to say I was there to witness your triumphant return," one bloke said to me as I signed his shirt.

Just as she had so long ago when I'd been swamped at Dreamworld, Bella stood back and took it all in her stride. I remembered what she had pointed out to me then, that my messy little pen marks made people happy. It definitely made the idea of autograph-hounds seem less predatory and actually made me relax and enjoy the process a little more. These people cared whether I drove or not. It mattered to them, which made it matter all the more to me.

Eventually, our walk had taken us out of the more crowded areas, and we were able to find some alone time.

"Thank you for everything you've done to get me here," I murmured as I pulled her closer to me.

She rested her head against my chest. "I've actually really enjoyed doing it. More than I ever thought possible. Thank you for giving me the push I needed to do it."

"I'm glad you've enjoyed it. I'm sure getting the opportunity to boss me around helps." I chuckled.

"Oh, definitely," she laughed. "It's the best perk."

I guided her chin up so that she was looking at me. "You can order me around some more right now if you like," I murmured, with more than a hint of lust in my voice.

She whimpered softly as I captured her mouth, effectively stopping her from being able to issue any orders. My tongue explored the now familiar confines of her mouth. Despite having incredibly intimate knowledge of her body and soul, I was always willing to explore some more.

After we'd broken apart for some oxygen, I rested my forehead against hers. "It's a dream come true."

"All this?" she indicated the camping ground and track behind us.

"No, you. Well, you and Phoebe. My life now, just all of it. This…" I grinned at her and inclined my head in the direction she'd indicated. "This is just the icing on the cake."

"I love you, Edward," she said, just in case there was any doubt.

"I love you too, baby."

I kissed her again, and she shivered against me. As much as I would have loved to strip her down and fuck her silly while we had time alone and without any other pressing matters, I knew it was too cold for me to do that.

~ 0 ~

Friday morning passed in much the same fashion as Thursday had. A few more tweaks, a little fine-tuning and driving around the track with the upmost care. Bella schmoozed with the sponsors a little and we all had plenty of team photos taken.

Despite not being part of the official Cullen Racing outfit, there always seemed to be at least one member of their staff hanging around in our pits. More often than not, it was Alice, but once or twice it was Liam or Tia.

Finally, it was Friday afternoon and it was time for the qualifying laps. During the practise sessions, I had been relatively easy on the car, testing the waters so to speak, but for qualifying I had to go out as if I was under race conditions. I had to work out what my best was, and then go one better.

I slid the HANS device over my head, before placing my helmet on over the top. The butterflies in my stomach were dive-bombing around as I climbed into the car. I closed my eyes for a tiny moment. As much as I had enjoyed wielding a wrench for Liam it was nothing compared to the feeling of euphoria that was building within me, knowing that I was moments away from changing my life. I put the netting up on the window and gripped tightly onto the steering wheel. I pulled the straps on the racing harness tight, and was utterly unable to help the fact that I was grinning like a school-boy.

Once Jasper had called out the all-clear into his mic, I started the car. I hummed contently as I listened to the purr of the engine. My mouth was dry due to my anticipation so I took a deep drag on my water line. Nothing could beat the feeling of being in control of a V8—well... almost nothing. I thought back to early that day, to being with my girls as we prepared for the day at the track. I knew that somewhere in the stands they were watching, waiting for me to show the crowd that I was still able to do this. That despite rumours to the contrary, I wasn't washed up. I revved the engine and the deep thrum that issued was like the sound of the Gods.

I edged forward from my pit, before taking my time to get to the end of pit lane. It didn't matter when I hit the track. I had twenty minutes to qualify. Twenty minutes to get my beast around the track as fast as I could. Twenty minutes to justify the faith Carlisle was putting in me for this meet.

I tried not to remind myself that the last time I had driven a racecar—really driven, as in under race conditions and not just for track days or the practice laps the day before—was at last year's Bathurst.

As soon as I hit the end of pit lane I slammed my foot to the floor. I quickly made my way through the gears. I may have been a little rusty compared to how I once raced but at the moment, that didn't matter. All that mattered was I was in a car again. I was _racing_ again.

I could almost feel Bella's eyes burning into me as I pushed the car to the edge. I was trying everything I could to get the best time I could. I was desperate to make the top ten shoot-out, if only to get the opportunity to have a practise run at the real race.

Jasper's voice issued regularly from my headphones, letting me know my current times. I knew they weren't quite good enough, but they were good. They were competitive. I was showing everyone who was watching that I could still do it; I _did _still have it. There would be no more debates, I was earning my right to be on the track the only way I ever could, lap by lap, second by second.

The end of qualifying was called, and I bought the car back into pit lane.

Jasper raced over to me while I was getting out of my race gear. I grinned widely at him.

"Fuck, I missed that!" I exclaimed when he was near enough to hear me.

"You looked good out there, man." He whistled. "It made me want to be out there with you."

"Next year, we'll both be out there, you just watch."

He grinned wickedly at me.

"So?" I asked.

"So, what?" He feigned innocence.

"Put me out of my misery. How'd I do?"

He winced. "Eleventh."

"Fuck!" I felt a stab of disappointment that I hadn't made it into the top ten shoot-out, but then I realised I had qualified eleventh. Out of thirty-one cars, I'd finished eleventh fastest. I was in the top half of the field without big team backing. "Eleventh!"

"It puts us in decent standing for the race," Jasper said soothingly, not picking up on the change in my tone.

Bella, Mum and Phoebe all arrived a second later. I scooped Phoebe up in my arms and wrapped my arms around Bella. "Eleventh!" I whooped excitedly.

"You're silly, daddy," Phoebe squealed as I spun her around in my arms.

"Nuh-uh," I said. "I'm eleventh!"

She giggled.

Mum came up to me and gave me a gentle squeeze. "I'm so proud of you."

I blushed slightly before shrugging out of her grip. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I didn't want the boys to see. It was bad enough having the reputation of being pussy-whipped, I didn't need to add 'Mama's boy' to that.

We all spent the next hour celebrating the fact that we had qualified in what was, for all intents and purposes, a very competitive position. Eventually, I had to go and see to some more of the official business before we were able to leave the track for the team dinner.

When I arrived back in the pit, I hollered out a ten minute warning for the Maxi Taxis I'd ordered to take us out.

Everyone was gathered around moments later, including my pit boys who just two seconds earlier had been buried up to their neck under the bonnet of the car. I looked over and saw that the beast was all back together and closed up. It didn't take them long to come running when food was mentioned.

We found a nice little steakhouse close to the track and set up for a good night of fun and friendship. The conversation flowed rapidly around the table but the booze didn't. Everyone wanted to stay fresh for the weekend.

~ 0 ~

Saturday was a relatively easy day. I basically stayed close to my girls other than when I was needed for another practise session or some media commitment. The autograph hounds were out in force, but I just signed what I could and hid away for a break whenever I desperately needed one.

I watched wistfully from the sidelines as the top 10 shootout occurred. I could feel the excitement rolling through the tracks as all of the TV's showed the current leader and how their split times compared with the competitor out on the track. I imagined being out there next year. Would I be racing under Cullen Racing colours? They had two drivers, could they handle a third?

Finally, the shootout was finished and the final results were in. We had our leader board ready for racing the next day. The big race. I kept thinking about the 1000 kilometres that would change everything. Could I do it? Although I was secretly hoping for a surprise win, the realist in me knew it was unlikely. I thought about what I needed from the weekend and I realised it was simple. The only way I could exercise my demons was to get around the track cleanly. I couldn't crash out of this race, it was just far too important.

I spent a few moments looking over the grid. James Blake's name was listed in third position. I felt the usual glee at Cullen Racing starting in such a strong position mixed with the grief over it being James who got them there.

Between the anticipation of what was to come on Sunday and the nerves I felt over what I'd achieved so far, I was literally feeling ill.

By the time the final drivers' briefing rolled around, I was a bundle of nerves. I listened as intently as I could to all the information they were giving out, but most of it went in one ear and out the other. I bounced my leg nervously, desperate to be out of the cloying conditions of the tiny room filled with too many bodies.

It wasn't made any better when it ended and James gave me a deathly smile and whispered. "I'll see you on the track, fucker."

I paused, realising that maybe he hadn't been as stupid as I had thought. I began to imagine all sorts of scenarios that involved his car smashing into mine. I couldn't help but wonder whether there was a chance he'd sent the pictures to Carlisle with some other purpose in mind. Was his goal never to get me kicked off the team, but rather to get me on the track against him? Was I so willingly blinded by my hatred of him that I didn't see his master plan? Could he be planning some other, more devious plan?

His words played over and over in my head sending me into a dizzying spiral of negative thoughts. I couldn't shake the worry that maybe I would end up like Jasper…or worse.

~ 0 ~

**Yeah, 'bout that cliffy *hides* ;) **


	28. Faith

**Chapter 28: Faith**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

James' words haunted me for all of about two seconds, because Bella, Mum and Phoebe were waiting right outside of the door for me. Bella entwined her fingers around mine and told me that I wasn't to worry about a single thing for the rest of the night.

We had another quiet family dinner, low-key and calm. Just me and the women in my life.

After dinner, and after we'd tucked Phoebe into bed, Bella whispered that she had a surprise for me. I followed her out of the caravan, and she led me through the camping ground to the same spot we'd stopped at a few nights ago; only there was now a small, domed tent erected on the site.

Bella gently pulled on my hand to move me forward, and we continued until we were almost on top of the tent. She bent down and began to undo the zip. "You looked like you wanted to do something more than _talk_ when we were here the other night," she murmured. "And, to be honest, so did I."

I quirked my eyebrow at her and licked my lips. There was no need to ask her what she meant, because it was written clearly in her eyes. I watched as she bent down and climbed into the open tent flap and almost leapt in after her. Even with the excitement of racing and spending so much one on one-practically uninterrupted-time with her, I was so desperate for _more_. I turned and instantly zipped the tent back up.

I'd barely finished and turned to face her when her lips were on mine. I wrapped my arms around her tightly in response. Our actions were somewhat limited by the space; the tent was so small that my head pushed into the roof even when I was on my knees.

My lips remained practically glued to Bella's as we twisted and bent to remove all of our clothes. Within the tiny space all I could hear was our breathing and the twin beating of our hearts. It was so dark in the canvas, I could barely make out shapes, and yet my hands knew her so intimately that they knew exactly where to go, where they wanted to go, and set out to explore readily.

Once I was certain every shred of our clothing had been shed, I guided Bella to the plush blanket on the ground, supporting her head as I kissed her deeply. My mouth only left hers to begin a new exploration of her skin. Her hands scratched my scalp as I planted soft, open-mouthed kisses against her collarbone and onto her chest.

I took one of her sweet nipples between my lips before sliding my tongue softly along the perfect bud. I gently scraped my teeth along the delicate skin of her breast before bringing her nipple into my mouth again and sucking softly to make her mew beneath me.

My hand found her other breast, and I kneaded it softly before lavishing attention on it with my mouth and tongue.

"Fuck, Bella, you taste so good," I whispered against her skin.

"Kiss me," she begged as she twisted her fingers into my hair and tugged lightly.

I slid back up her body and claimed her mouth again, supporting myself with one hand, leaving the other free to run across her beautiful breasts and across her smooth stomach. I ran it up and down the length of her body a few times while my tongue continued to tangle sweetly with hers.

Our breaths and heartbeats were still the only sound I could hear, but they were now faster and more urgent than they had been.

I slid my hand across her stomach once more before dropping my fingers down gently to slide against her folds. The instant my skin touched her heat, she bucked her hips and arched her back, exposing the long column of her throat. I twisted slightly to claim her neck, sucking gently on it as I pressed my fingers against her clit.

I shifted my head down and took her nipple into my mouth again, rolling my tongue across it before sucking and nibbling on it as I pushed two fingers into her.

"Oh my God," she cried out softly.

I drew the two fingers out, running them up to moisten her clit before gently sliding them back into her again. I repeated the process, slowly teasing her as I continued to taste of her skin. I was so fucking hard, wanting her so badly, but I needed to use this time to say a silent thank you for everything she'd done to get me to Bathurst.

I continued my slow torture—mine and hers-licking and caressing her skin with my mouth while my fingers moved deeper inside of her, until she was practically begging me to fuck her. I shifted my body weight so that I was hovering just millimetres above her, then I brought my lips back to her and kissed her delicately.

She fought slightly to break her mouth away from mine and in the darkness I could see something was troubling her. I sat back on my haunches, trying to ignore the erection that stood out proudly from my waist and the fact that my head smacked into the canvas of the tent and twisted it out of shape momentarily.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I just…well I didn't want anything to happen without warning you first."

I tilted my head in confusion. "Warning me about what?"

"I know we talked about it, but then the opportunity just came up a few days before we left, and I figured that maybe it was time to just do it, you know?"

I chuckled. "No, I can honestly say that I do not know."

I saw a flash of the white of her teeth as they captured the silky, slightly darker skin of her lips. "Mum forwarded a letter from my doctor last week. It was a follow-up to remind me that it was time for my annual Merina check-up and, well, I figured why not get it removed." She was whispering by the time she'd finished her sentence.

"Really?" I could barely believe what she was saying. Was she saying…

"Yes, but if you've changed your mind, I understand…we don't have to."

I smiled brightly, even though I knew she wouldn't be able to see me. I leaned forward over her again, feeling the warmth radiating from her skin. I lined myself up with her entrance before kissing her softly. "I want to," I murmured against her mouth.

I pushed against her, moaning as I slid deeply into her. With her right below me, I could make out her features better, and I met her eyes. They communicated her feelings to me so clearly; fear, joy, and love. I tried to show the strength I felt in us.

Knowing that we were utterly unprotected and leaving an element of our lives completely up to fate was scary, but as I moved inside of her, it felt so right. I knew the chances were that we wouldn't conceive that night, but it was a possibility. If we were that lucky, who knows…maybe the magic of Bathurst would run in the veins of our child.

~ 0 ~

Bella and I had eventually dressed and snuck back into our caravan very late. I probably should have tried to be in bed earlier, but I figured it probably didn't matter, because I would most likely have just lain awake, unable to sleep anyway. James' words might not have been haunting me, but the upcoming race was.

We woke begrudgingly when the alarm went off well before dawn, and after a light breakfast, headed back to the track for the final preparations.

We messed around in the pits changing all of the parts for a fresh run until it was time for Garrett and me to go to the final drivers' meeting. James was remarkably silent throughout the meeting, but bailed me up afterwards, just as we were passing the Cullen Racing pits.

"Eddie, I see you're still up to your old tricks after all."

I tried to ignore him and continued walking.

"I mean the late night pre-race booty call thing didn't work that well for you last year; you still crashed out."

I gritted my teeth but kept moving.

"The chick last night was a bit of a fucking screamer though, wasn't she? I swear I heard her from my hotel."

I tried to put his words out of my mind—I knew he was just trying to psych me out—but it was hard when he was talking about Bella so disrespectfully. He definitely knew that Bella was my weak spot.

"If you've changed your mind, I understand." He had put on a horrid, nasally, whiney voice which sounded absolutely nothing like my Bella, but I froze as I recognised her words. "What the hell is a 'marina' anyway?"

I turned, ready to swing, but froze when I saw Carlisle standing a short distance away behind James. I decided to try to shrug it off. I needed to stop letting the fucker get under my skin. I realised that there was only one way he could have possibly heard _that_ part of the conversation.

"At least I have a red-hot woman that I can have booty-calls with rather than having to skulk around in the darkness, living vicariously through others."

He gaped for a moment, and I took the opportunity to stab at him again.

"It must be such a sad, lonely existence you live," I jibed, trying to get him to bite while Carlisle was watching and listening. As I'd anticipated, he swung at me, and I ducked easily out of the way.

Carlisle took that moment to announce his presence by clearing his throat, and James whirled around quickly.

I stood triumphant; Carlisle had finally bore witness to one of James' calculated attacks on me. I realised it wouldn't change much in the short term; whatever had bound Carlisle's hands about the photos wouldn't have changed for quite some time.

"James, don't you have a race to prepare for?" he asked, clearly intending it as a dismissal.

James looked like he was going to argue, but wisely, and disappointingly, kept his mouth shut.

"Edward," Carlisle said, reaching out his hand to shake mine. "Good luck out there today."

I shook his hand, grinning from ear to ear.

"You're going to need it," James muttered under his breath.

Carlisle had clearly heard and quickly asked, "You don't think Edward can do it?"

James scoffed. "He's a privateer, they never win."

"Yes, he's a privateer…in a well-sponsored, Cullen Racing car. I think he has as much chance as anyone else."

I couldn't help the way my spine straightened a little as I listened to the faith Carlisle was showing in me.

"So long as he doesn't crash the car," James snickered. His eyes flicked to me and somehow I just knew he was referring to Jasper's crash. His words from the other day came back to me, and I grew worried again about whether he had some sort of master plan.

"Why don't we make it interesting?" I said, surprising even myself when I spoke.

"What are you suggesting, Edward? Some sort of wager?" Carlisle asked with his eyebrow raised. "You know putting money on the outcome is illegal."

"I'm not talking about money." I don't know where the idea had come from, but it was snowballing. I could finally see an easy way to be rid of James for good, and all I had to do was do what I was planning on doing anyway. "If I crash out of the race, I will quit Cullen Racing, and you will never hear from me again."

James' mouth lifted into a sick smile. He took far too much enjoyment out of the idea, which made me more concerned that I was right in my thinking—he wanted to try to force me to crash, just like he had done to Jasper.

"And if you don't?" Carlisle asked, egging me on.

"I don't know," I answered, carefully measuring my words. "What's it worth to you, James?"

He shook his head. "I'm not betting on the race."

I could tell he wanted to, but perhaps he didn't want to play his hand just yet. Not in front of Carlisle.

"Aw, come on Jamesy, it's your chance to be shot of me." I winked at him, there was a crowd gathering now. I could see both mine and James' crews lining up to watch our exchange. I knew that if we made the bet—which technically had no legal standing—the loser wouldn't be able to welsh without facing some serious repercussions and embarrassment around the company. "Or do you want to admit that you know I'm good enough to get around every single lap without incident."

"Fine. If you actually manage to finish the race, then I'll leave Cullen Racing."

"Looks like we have something extra to race for," Carlisle said, meeting my eye and letting me know that he meant something extra for _me_ to race for.

If everything went to plan, I was going to be back on the Cullen Racing team as a V8 driver, and James would be gone.

For good.

~ 0 ~

Sitting on the grid felt eerily similar to the last start I'd had in a V8; except instead of being in pole position, I had ten cars lined up ahead of me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to get centred in the last few moments before it was time to go.

I knew that my team had done everything possible to get the car to where it needed to be. The car was running the best times we could expect. It had all come down to strategy, pit stops and driving now; there was only one of those things I could control.

With my eyes closed, I reflected on my Bathurst race just one year ago and how different it was to the race I was about to enter into. Back then, I had been avoiding Bella. I hadn't known about Phoebe and Emmanuel; children had been so far from my agenda. I had been miserable and haunted, and completely unable to admit it to anyone—including myself. When I raced last year, it was because it was the only thing I had left in my life—and I was still unable to do it properly. Now, things were drastically different.

In comparison, I thought back to the little fist-bump Phoebe had given me moments before I climbed into the car. "Good luck, Daddy," she'd practically shouted as I put my HANS device and helmet on. Then she'd blown me a kiss through the netting.

I closed my hand into a fist around the wheel, delighting in the feel of my wedding band pressing into my finger underneath the hard gloves as it reminded me that I belonged to Bella. Whatever else happened, I had my family now. Racing wasn't my life anymore; it was just something I enjoyed doing. Hopefully, I would be able to kick some ass and show everyone that I was no longer lost.

I opened my eyes and watched as the marshals cleared the track of all personnel.

"_It's nearly time,"_ Jasper told me through my headset. _"You ready for this, Squirt?"_

I gave him the thumbs up.

"_The commentators want to talk to you if you're willing." _

"That's fine," I murmured into my mic. I would have preferred some more alone time to meditate, but realised I didn't need to cling onto my old superstitions and rituals anymore. I could forge new ones; like spending the night before every race with Bella, Phoebe's little fist bumping with mine, or wearing the custom helmet Bella had designed for me.

A moment after I had given my approval, I heard three voices discussing the start of the race and waited patiently to be addressed.

"_It's been quite a while since we've seen our guest on the V8 racetrack. Let's check in and see what he's up to. We've got Edward Masen talking to us from the starting grid now. How are you feeling, Masen?" _

"Pumped. Just really excited to get out there and do what I can."

"_You've had a very tumultuous year and haven't been in a V8 since Bathurst last year. Not only that, but you're racing as a privateer today without the backing of the Cullen Racing team. It seems there is a lot going against you. Do you think it's all going to hurt your chances today?" _

_Assholes_, I thought to myself. I guess I should have anticipated the negativity in their question as soon as Jasper had said they wanted to talk to me. Way to kill the mojo. "All I can do is go out there and give it everything I have. I've spent a lot of time getting myself and my priorities sorted out so that I don't have a repeat of last year."

I heard them talking about my crash and listened the the crunching of metal in the archive footage—the fucking vultures must have had it keyed up, ready to go, long before they knew I would mention it.

"_Everyone up here is behind you and Garrett all the way. Best of luck to you, Masen." _

"Thanks."

The three commentators left me there, because the race was close to starting. They began talking amongst themselves regarding the star power that Marcus Garrett brought to my car. I heard a few more sentences about how the fans were rooting for my comeback even though I'd had six months of crashes leading up to my disappearance from the V8 racetrack. The connection was finally cut, and I was left to the sounds emanating from the car.

I hoped I could live up to their expectations.

I hoped I could live up to _mine_.

~ 0 ~

**A/N:- Hi again! *Waves* I hope everyone is still with me :) **


	29. Race You

**Chapter 29: Race You**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely betas (FE71SH & CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

I allowed myself one second of solitude and shut my eyes. I pressed my foot against the pedal, pushing it deep onto the floor and listened to the angry snarl that issued from the beast that encased me. The perfect roar of the engine blocked out all other sounds and left me momentarily in peace with my thoughts. Memories of Bella and Phoebe danced in my mind. Images of a new addition—a tiny bundle swaddled in yellow, lying lovingly in Bella's arms—began to tempt me, fitting perfectly into our existing family.

I smiled at the picture my mind had offered up. A familiar sound broke me from my reverie and my eyes snapped open; it was time to go.

_Ride on instinct._

_Don't think._

_Don't over-think._

_You know what needs to be done – just do it._

_I can do this. I _will _do this._

I only needed to make it through 1000 kilometres without crashing. It didn't matter where I finished, just that I did.

_Easy._

I got away cleanly from the starting line, launched quickly to the left and weaved my way through the cars to immediately claim two places. My radio blared to life almost immediately with Jasper congratulating me but warning of an incident in front of me. The first corner had claimed a casualty or two, just as it did every year, but there was no safety car; so whoever was involved must have been able to keep racing.

My ears pricked up when Jasper mentioned James' name. I wasn't sure if he was the instigator or whether he'd just been caught up, but he'd brushed against the wall. I smiled as I imagined Carlisle would be cursing in his trailer.

I didn't take long to settle back into rhythm with the car. It was just like dancing with a long-lost lover. No matter how long I had been away from the game, I would never forget how to bend the car to my control. My fingers danced across the instruments. Up. Down. Clutch. Accelerator. Break. One, two, three, four. Hard to the left. Up Mountain Straight. Hard to the right. Through the cutting and Reid Park. Past McPhillamy and into the skyline. The road fell away underneath me, and then I was floating through the S bends into the dipper. A soft right, followed by a hard left around Forrest Elbow and then suddenly I was flying down Conrod Straight grinning like a lunatic.

I knew the racetrack like the back of my hand, and I was using every bit of that knowledge and my newfound confidence to my advantage.

I passed the start/finish line and it flashed away beneath me. I smiled again, imagining Bella's eyes resting on the car as I raced past the pits.

One lap down; one hundred and sixty to go.

~ 0 ~

I pitted during a safety car at lap thirty-six. After I'd climbed from the car and seen Garrett away safely, I grabbed a bottle of water and settled in behind Jasper to watch the race on the monitors we had. There were less of them than in the Cullen Racing camp, but it was enough for us. I could see what was happening around Garrett, and I could see everyone else's track position.

I watched as Garrett used the space I'd earned to push the car faster and faster.

"You two make a great team," Jasper murmured.

"Almost as good as you and I would have been if we could have raced together again."

"Aww, you getting all mushy on me, Eddie-boy?" Jasper made kissing noises until I punched his shoulder to shut him up. A few of the pit crew laughed until I shot them a warning glare.

"Just keep your eye on Garrett and make sure he doesn't crash that car, will you?" I chided Jasper, half jokingly.

I saw Bella, Phoebe and Mum hanging around behind the pits and waved them in with a smile before downing another mouthful of water.

"You're going really…" Bella started to talk, but I pressed my finger against her lips to silence her.

"Don't jinx me," I warned.

Bella laughed and kissed my fingertips lightly. She then clasped my hand, holding it tightly as she stood beside me while we watched Garrett complete lap after lap.

He pitted once, and I focused on the crew as they flew around the car, changing tyres, brakes, and adding extra fuel. I saw Garrett give me a thumbs-up through the window and stared after him with renewed excitement as he drove away to complete the last laps of his day. I was going to take the reins back for the last twenty or so laps.

He came in just before lap 105 to hand the car over to me. I couldn't have been happier with the way things were going as he patted me on the back as we changed over.

"Go get 'em," he whispered softly just before securing the netting and shutting the door.

I nodded as much as the HANS device on my neck would allow—which wasn't much—and gave him the thumbs-up.

I would beat James, or die trying.

~ 0 ~

I drifted past McPhillamy and headed into the skyline. For the first time in the race, I was closing in on James. It took almost every one of the laps I had left. Everyone had made their final compulsory pit stops and all that remained, was to battle out the last few laps.

I wasn't sure what James was doing, or why I was able to finally gain some ground on him, but I was catching glimpses of him more and more often. It was entirely possible he was running the car on a lower throttle for fuel conservation, which would have given me that little bit of extra power over him. I figured he had probably pitted early, hoping for a safety car—a popular strategy at the Mount Panorama track. If that was the case, he was probably concerned about making it around the track for the remaining laps. More than one car had miscalculated their fuel load and ended up stopping part way through the final lap or two.

I, on the other hand, still had plenty of fuel left and a relatively fresh set of tyres—perfect for an aggressive push. Garrett and I had chosen to pit later in the windows, using the emptier tank and hot tyres to push ahead on the track. So far it seemed to have worked for us, because we were in the top five with no compulsory pit stop left. In the last leg, there had been a little bit of jostling between the cars ahead of us, and I kept swapping places with one of the Jack Daniels' boys.

I quickly realised that if I could position myself correctly through the S bends, I had a chance to get the jump on James and overtake him down Conrod Straight. I wasn't sure whether my car would really have enough in it to get around him, but based on Jasper's voice squawking excitedly in my ear, it was possible. My lap times were a good half a second ahead of James' at the moment.

My current push, if successful, would see me jump out of the fourth-fifth-sixth pack and into the second-third pack. I could almost taste a podium finish; we were barely ten laps away from the end. I knew it could all change in an instant though; the track was notorious for last lap break-downs and accidents.

I put my concerns about what _might_ happen and concentrated on what _was _happening. My breathing steadied as I pushed the car into a faster rhythm again. Up. Down. Clutch. Accelerator. Break. One, two, three, four.

I saw James' brake lights ahead and I braked late before pushing hard to the left.

Up Mountain Straight. Hard to the right. Through the cutting and Reid Park. Past McPhillamy and into the skyline. Float through the S bends and into the dipper.

Within a few laps, Jasper informed me I'd cut James' lead from just over a second to mere fractions of one. He didn't need to tell me though, because I could see how close James was. I could feel the slipstream coming from his car embracing me tightly and tucking me neatly behind him. If he was working the fuel conservation angle, as I suspected, my position would have been driving him crazy.

I knew we were coming up to the straight; there was just a soft right and then a hard left around Forrest Elbow first. James slammed his brakes on aggressively before the hard left and I had to go wide to avoid running into the back of him. I twisted the car around as quickly as I could, feeling the tail get a little bit loose on the marbles, but I held control of it. I slammed down a gear and then pushed the accelerator hard, using my position to run down Conrod Straight alongside James .

As much as I could in the HANS, I turned my head to watch as I raced passed him on the outside. I felt like waving, but realised that would have been a little bit too obnoxious; especially considering I was stealing third—his chance for a podium finish—from him.

My position on the outside put me in a perfect position for the soft right coming up, but I knew I needed to ensure that I dominated the track position to get ahead of him. I needed to be sure that I had the line for the sharp left. I pushed as hard as I could, but noticed him losing speed rapidly as we approached the corners.

Suddenly, he twisted his car toward me, and if I hadn't been paying so much attention to him, I would have missed his next action. The thought that he'd misjudged the corner and understeered would have crossed my mind, but as I watched, I saw him glance in the direction of my car before he'd flicked the wheel toward me.

I turned the car away from him as quickly as I could, sending it wide around the corner and flicking the tail out. It had the intended effect, removing myself from the danger of James' car, but left me scrambling to get back onto a good line on the track.

Because he didn't have my car to stop his turn as readily, James speared off toward the wall before righting himself and slotting himself right behind me. I felt his front bumper scrape my rear bar and winced, wondering momentarily how much that little scrape was going to cost me.

That thought speedily left my head when I realised I was in third place. _I_ was in _third_. After everything that had happened over the last year, the last four years in fact, I couldn't believe I was actually in third. More than that, I felt in control behind the wheel for the first time ever. Even at the height of my career, I had never felt so in command of every aspect of my life. I was on a high, and not even James swerving from side to side in my rear-vision mirror could bring me down.

My car lurched forward sickeningly as James leapt forward on the accelerator, giving my ass a bit of a love-tap. I cut across his nose, boxing him in, before slamming on the gas and launching the car as hard as I could down the straight. James came up the inside of me, edging further alongside my car with each second. He gave my car another love tap, this time on my rear quarter panel—at almost the exact spot he'd hit Jasper's car—and the rear of my car spun loose, allowing him to gain even more ground on me.

I wrestled with the steering wheel and dropped off the accelerator to regain control. I reminded myself that I didn't need to beat him to win the bet, just stay on the track. The old me—the hot-headed one who was angry with the world because of the stupid decisions I had made—would have chased him down and gained ground on him, stupidly throwing away everything that mattered in the race just to settle my own personal vendetta against the fucker. A part of me still desperately wanted to. Instead, I concentrated on solidifying my track position and ignored James as best as I could, while still paying enough attention to be certain that I would be ready for any more smart-ass tricks he had up his sleeve.

I followed James' tail-lights closely through the rest of the lap, never letting him out of my sight and ensuring he didn't gain even of a fraction of a second extra advantage over me. In almost no time, we were back to the lead into Forrest Elbow. This time I didn't let James get the jump on me; I slammed on the accelerator, took a risk, and snuck up the inside.

I had the racing line. According to CAMS guidelines, he should have relinquished the position to me, but instead he pushed his car heavily into mine. I had two choices, push forward and risk getting tangled up with his car because it was obvious he wasn't playing by the rules anymore—if he ever really had—or back off, allow him to gain the position and then lodge a complaint with the officials.

I tapped the brakes lightly to get myself out of the fray and heard Jasper telling me that James had already been given white and black flag for unsportsmanlike driving. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I heard the news. James was obviously being relayed the same information, because his car suddenly lurched to the side, allowing me plenty of room. I knew he had something more up his sleeve though, so I was cautious as I crept up alongside him, ensuring I left plenty in reserve. I dialled up my throttle a little more to give myself that extra push I might need to get away.

My driver's door was level with his when he once again tugged sharply on his steering wheel, but I anticipated his movement perfectly, ramming my foot flat to the floor and accelerating away from him easily. Because of his speed and desperation, his move sent him straight into the barrier.

I heard the crunch of metal on concrete behind me and felt bad; just not for James. I felt terrible for Carlisle, who'd have to pay for the repairs, for the guys in the Cullen Racing pit, who'd all worked so hard over the weekend to ensure the car was at its best, and for every other person whose hopes and dreams for the weekend were resting on James' shoulders.

The yellow flags came out along the track and my stomach began to flutter at the possibilities that had just arisen. We were so close to the finish, just a few laps remaining, and we were about to be bunched up by the safety car. I could almost taste a victory sweeter than any of my entire career to date. A victory with my wife and princess watching. A victory that I'd had a big part in orchestrating.

I sat impatiently behind the two lead cars, twisting the wheel from side to side occasionally to keep the tyres warm.

"Relax." Jasper's voice sounded anything but calm as he issued the command.

"That's easy for you to say," I murmured in response.

"Just finish. That's all you need to do now, Squirt."

I clenched my fists tightly around the steering wheel as the lights went off on the safety car. My heart was in my chest and I could barely even breathe. All I could do was concentrate on the bulk of metal and machine surrounding me. I felt the car as if it was an extension of my own body. The dents and scratches that James had caused were nothing more than bruises and battle-scars. They wouldn't stop me from achieving what I wanted to.

The safety car peeled away and we were racing again. The car in fourth place tried to take me around the outside, but I was too quick. I darted forward, with the car in front of me squarely in my sights. There were only two laps left of the race, mere minutes to stake my claim after hours and hours on the track. I stuck to the bumper in front of me like glue, refusing to let him shake me. Slowly the car behind me slipped further away, until there were spots on the track when I couldn't see him in my rear-vision mirror at all.

Before I knew it, I was on the final lap. My heart was still thumping wildly somewhere behind my Adam's apple as I came around the final few turns. I pounced on the driver in front of me as we hit the chase, running through it side by side. He had the speed, but I had the racing line. I darted around until we were side by side again on the run up to the start/finish. I watched as the chequered flags waved excitedly just ahead of me, signalling the arrival of first place.

Crossing the line without claiming the ultimate win didn't affect me the way that it would have just one year earlier. I was easily able to concentrate on what I had done, rather than what I hadn't. I realised that everything that had happened over the last year led me to where I was. I couldn't have been happier.

I would finish on the podium with my pride intact. It no longer mattered what position I finished in, just that I finished. I had achieved what I had set out to, and I hadn't let Bella's hard work be in vain.

As I climbed out of the car, I could hear camera shutters whirring all around me, but I only had eyes for two people.

Jasper and Garrett raced out, followed closely by the boys from the pits. I was slapped on the back and congratulated repeatedly, but I walked in a daze past them all. At the back of the rabble, Bella stood, wearing a small, triumphant smile and a look in her eyes that told me she hadn't doubted my ability for a second. Phoebe was perched on her hip, shouting loudly to be heard over the din around them.

The sounds and people around me faded to white noise, a slight humming with only a few key words standing out. _Third place. Terrific achievement. Rare accomplishment for a privateer. _

Instead, I heard Phoebe's words as if she was shouting them to me across an empty room. "Yay! Daddy won!"

I took another step forward and it felt like time stood still. It was like a dream where no matter how fast I could run, it wasn't fast enough. I wanted to already be by Bella's side, but instead I had to cover a great distance. Another step through the crowd and slowly my boys began to realise what I was after—or more specifically _who_.

My path cleared gradually and the faces whirled past me in a blur as I broke into a run toward the two people who meant the most to me.

As soon as I was close enough, I hugged the two of them tightly. I gave them each a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to say something meaningful or poignant, or just…anything. But I couldn't. I was completely lost for words. When I met Bella's eyes, I realised there was nothing more that needed to be said.

~ 0 ~

**A/N: - One of my favourite things to hear in a review is how some of you feel like you are racing right alongside RCE. I hope I didn't disappoint in this key race :) **

**I wanted to make sure I got this chapter to you today specifically, because as I am posting it I'm watching the dying laps of Bathurst on my TV. It's very exciting! **

**I'm sure many of you are suspecting there isn't much left to this story, and you'd be correct. There is one more chap left. There will probably be more outtakes to come later on, but I'm not sure what or when. I wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone who gave this sequel a shot. I don't know if I'd be as motivated to spend my free time writing FF if it wasn't for all the lovely people who I've found in this fandom: readers, writers & everything in between. **

**Another special thank you to my beta CorrinaTFF who has stuck with betaing this through a lot of RL drama and I will never be able to fully express to her how much that (or she) means to me. **


	30. Sweet Victory

**Chapter 30: Sweet Victory**

_A/N: I own nothing - not even a snappy disclaimer. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations really. I just enjoy torturing them occasionally. Thanks must go to my lovely beta (CorrinaTFF) & my ever-supportive (especially in a crisis) fic-wifeys (Gabbysway2 & CorrinaTFF)._

~ 0 ~

I ran my finger over the photo on the wall across from Phoebe's room-a picture of me on the podium, champagne flowing freely. It was my permanent reminder of the sweetest victory I'd ever experienced, and she had insisted I hang it where she'd see it every day. I could never have guessed my placing third would mean so much to her.

Even at nine, she won't let me move it. Honestly, I couldn't think of a win or placing which meant more to me than that one either.

The days, weeks and months following that meeting were some of the most interesting I'd ever lived through.

~ 0 ~

When I returned to Cullen Racing after placing third at Bathurst, I didn't think I'd ever seen happier faces. Everyone had congratulated me and slapped my back. I didn't think a single person was upset that James had crashed or that I had beaten him in our little bet.

Surprisingly—or maybe, not so surprisingly given his personality—James arrived at work shortly after me. He laughed off our bet and refused to acknowledge the fact that he had lost or that he was effectively welching on the deal.

It had taken a little over an hour for him to confront me. I think he wanted to approach me sooner, but didn't want to do it around anyone else. I realised he was up to his old tricks again, but somehow they didn't seem to bother me anymore. It was like I was impervious to his insults and threats. In fact, I had a plan to deal with him.

When he appeared around the corner, I slipped my hand into my pocket. I had downloaded a program on my phone that would allow me to record everything that he said to me. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it sooner. The inspiration struck me while I had been sitting, listening to the highlight reel of my crash while the media were interviewing me on the start-line at Bathurst.

"You think you're so fucking clever, don't you?" James hissed.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Ducking and weaving like that on the track." He was seething.

I shrugged. "I was just driving to the conditions."

"Like fuck, you little shit! You knew exactly what you were doing. You made me crash." He was trying to stay quiet, but I knew that he could lose it at any time.

I laughed. "Oh no, Jamie-boy, you did that all on your own."

"The marshals investigated me because of your stunts."

"The marshals investigated you because you were driving like a lunatic. It was nothing less than you deserved." In fact, he'd received much less than he'd deserved. The officials couldn't do more than issue a warning. He hadn't caused any damage to any other vehicle and there was no evidence that his erratic driving was malicious.

"Why didn't you just stay the fuck off the track?"

I smirked. "I thought you wanted me there. What? Are you afraid of a little competition?"

"I'm going to fuck you up the first chance I get," he threatened.

I looked around and held my arms out. "We're alone now."

He laughed. "I'm going to fuck you up good and proper." He didn't move toward me though. He obviously realised I wasn't going to bite, so he changed tack and began to talk about Bella. "Or maybe I should just fuck your wife instead?"

I tilted my head to one side and regarded him. He had a certain menace about him, there was no denying that, but he was like a Chihuahua, barking at the world to draw attention away from how small and harmless he was. How had I let him under my skin before? He was all bluster and bullshit, and I found myself laughing at the ridiculousness of it.

My laughter seemed to be the catalyst for James, who drew his arm back and swung at me. It connected with my cheek, just below my eye. I was shocked by it, but it didn't really hurt. The room was suddenly flooded with people, the scuffle had been heard by people close by. Before I could fully comprehend what was happening, James was being escorted from the premises by security.

I wish I could say that James got everything he deserved, but I honestly didn't know. As far as the media were concerned, there was a whirl of controversy over his sudden departure from the Cullen Racing camp. An AVO* was issued against him, ensuring he would keep his distance from Bella and myself. That Carlisle had requested Pembletons take out on our behalf.

The last we heard of him, he was in the United States, racing in the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series or something.

~ 0 ~

After James' departure, Carlisle was in need of a new driver. Jasper's doctors were still unwilling to sign-off on his injuries, which meant he was unable to drive for a little while longer. Suddenly driverless, Carlisle did the only logical thing he could. He recruited a driver who had come back from hiatus to race, and place, at Bathurst. Garrett was very quick to accept the offer; I think the time away from the track had rekindled his love of racing.

I wasn't upset that Garrett had been offered James' place, I had actually suggested it to Carlisle. I was more than happy to finish my apprenticeship and complete the Mini Challenge.

I had my own ideas for what the new racing year would bring. I'd heard rumours that Volturi were struggling because Aro had been unable to secure a decent driver, and after consulting with Bella we came up with a plan. I approached Carlisle with my idea and to my surprise, he was more than supportive. Between the two of us we were able to knock out a deal with Aro that would see a new race-team on the track. Emmanuel Racing; a subsidiary of Cullen based out of Brisbane—out of the former Volturi premises in fact.

I rode the high of those few weeks for a long time, right up until Christmas.

Jasper and Alice had used the Staff Christmas party to announce a little surprise—they were expecting. Bella and I gave each other a secret smile, hoping that we might have our own announcement before too long. I realised not long after—when Bella had handed me a tiny stick wrapped in tissue paper; a plastic strip with two pink bars—that maybe Bella's smile had held more secrets than my own.

~ 0 ~

"Sweetie, it's time," Bella murmured from behind me, startling me away from my memories.

"Yeah?" I asked, placing my hand over her swollen belly.

She nodded. "They're very close together now."

It would be easy to assume that having been through the whole baby thing before, it would get easier, but no. I was as nervous as I had been the other times, first with Ethan and then with Beth.

My palms were sweaty as I grabbed Bella's bag and the car keys.

"Remember, you're not racing now." She grinned to let me know she was joking, right before biting her lip and folding in half as the pain of another contraction hit.

I placed my hand on the small of her back and massaged tiny circles until she stood again and shuffled forward a little more.

"Mum, Dad, we're going now!" I called out, ensuring the babysitters knew they were up to the plate.

Charlie stepped out and helped me guide Bella into the car.

"You take care of my baby now," he warned after she was safely in, pointing his index finger at me and giving me a stern look.

"I always do."

He nodded and smiled. "I know."

It had been a hard road, getting Charlie on-side, but eventually we'd found common ground—Bella and his grandkids—and it was almost impossible to imagine how much I used to fear him and how much animosity had been between us.

"Stop daydreaming and let's go," Bella demanded, leaning across the car to shout through the driver's window.

"Yes, boss."

~ 0 ~

Bella's face was flushed and sweat made her hair cling to her face. She was exhausted and showed the obvious signs of being awake for almost twenty-four hours straight. I didn't care about any of that though, because in her arms she held yet another little miracle. Each time I had witnessed one of our perfect children come into the world, I longed to get right onto creating another. I couldn't believe I had ever _not_ wanted kids. I didn't think I'd ever get sick of having more. Bella, however may have disagreed. I was certain she would declare that this time was her last.

I knew I had, at most, half an hour alone with my wife and new son before the hoard showed up. It was times like these that I was glad we'd made the shift back to Brisbane. I thought again about how lucky I was to be so close to family and friends.

~ 0 ~

We had moved to Brisbane right after returning from our trip to London. I took control of Volturi, rebranding it as Emmanuel Racing, shortly after. As per our deal, Aro stayed on as team manager during the transitional year, but I was secure in the knowledge that I was his ultimate boss. Initially, we ran one car, but eventually I had bought an additional CAMS licence from another dying team and had added another car.

Carlisle was still a silent partner, I had offered to buy him out, but he wasn't silly. He liked the return on investment he received, without having to be hands on running two teams. Ultimately though, he caused me no stress, he even mentored me heavily during the first two years.

The only sad thing was that the current year was my final year racing. I needed to spend more time nurturing talent and ensuring we were competitive year after year. I was savvier with contracts than I had ever been before, and I had Bella to thank for that.

~ 0 ~

"Is he daydreaming again?" Emmett's laughter filled the air.

"He does it a lot." Bella was smiling, the signs of fatigue washed away by the shower she'd had while I got acquainted with little Parker.

"Is this the little one that's caused you so much trouble?" Rosalie asked, reaching out to take Parker from my arms.

Bella grimaced at the memory of what was by far her worst pregnancy; one that had included morning sickness, fainting, fatigue, and two stays in hospital. "That's the one."

I sat on Bella's bed, pulling her into my side as she cuddled up against me. I watched as Henry gave me a shy smile and wave from behind Rosalie's legs. It was hard to believe that the boisterous and outspoken parents that were Rosalie and Emmett, could have produced such a quiet little man.

"When are Mum and Dad getting here?" Bella asked.

"As soon as they can get Beth into her car seat no doubt," Rosalie laughed.

"Yeah, they were struggling with that when they rang me earlier," Emmett said.

I laughed. Beth was certainly the one most like me. At two, she was a major handful. Surprisingly though, Charlie and Renee turned up minutes later with the rest of our family. I wondered vaguely when my own mother would come. As if on cue, she knocked on the door before entering the room.

Once, not so long ago in fact, I'd thought I had everything figured out. I'd thought I was better off without Bella, without kids, without anything or anyone that occupied the room with me. Looking around at all the faces, and feeling the warmth of love surrounding me, I couldn't help but think what a fucking dickhead I'd been.

~ 0 ~

*** AVO – One of the orders that can be taken out in Australia that is similar to a restraining order. From Wikipedia: A court may grant an apprehended violence order (AVO) to a person who fears violence, harassment, abuse, or stalking. A court may issue an AVO if it believes, on the balance of probabilities, that a person has reasonable grounds to fear personal violence, harassing conduct, molestation, intimidation, or stalking. A defendant's non-compliance with the order may result in the imposition of a fine, imprisonment, or both.**

**A/N:- Huge hugs to everyone who has supported me and this fic since its inception. It's meant the world to me. **

**Thank you to Gabbysway2 for being the inspiration, without her, RCE may never have seen the light of day. Thank you to CorrinaT for stepping in to beta it midway and helping to finesse my words.**


End file.
